请大家帮忙看看我的issue 一篇，谢谢

nacorUID: 176753

The intellectual benefits of attending a university or college are vastly overrated: most people could learn more by studying and reading on their own for four years than by pursuing a university or college degree.
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Does the intellectual benefits of attending a university are vastly overstated? Could most people learn more by studying and reading on their own in four years than by pursuing a university or college degree? I agree with the speaker's assertion insofar as some people can and do be appropriate to teach and study by themselves. However, I must point out that they would hardly be to well-rounded, informed, productive people.

Admittedly, the history teems with intellectual elites who prefer the means of studying and reading by themselves, rather than along with other peers in the class of the university or college, for the advantage that they could arrange their time unfetteredly. Moreover, they would not be forced to learn those courses uninteresting for them. No one will disagree that some people indeed own some innate talents or gifts for specific fields. For instance, as for a student who is musically gifted, to pay lots of time and attention on advanced chemistry courses would be to eliminate time and attention on music, thus undermining the invaluable gift. In short, the freedom to choose proper agenda and curriculum is the merit of studying and learning on one's own for some people.

However, to forsake pursing a university or college degree but to learn by oneself inextricably breed the following shortcomings. Firstly, the former education not only bring us the intellectual knowledge and experience which would help us in working world, but also facilitate us to develop our own value system and moral standard which will serve us in any walk of life, however, these cannot be learned by ourselves at home.  Under the system and the standard, we could understand and appreciate the different viewpoints and the people who are different from us, thus cooperating together in the future work under those agreed-upon goals.

Secondly, the university and college are actually comparatively small societies, embracing the diverse population, and the people owing different religion beliefs and customs. Understandably, studying in universities can help us learn socialization, or to get along with each other. To witness the socialization, one need no look further than the discussion class, where the students learn to express, discuss, negotiate, compromise and cooperate, all of which cannot be accessed to along with oneself. That is to say, university provides us environment of much use to communicate with other peers and faculties to promote our further socialization.

Thirdly, the former educator would try their best to equip the students--the recipient of the education--with various courses, balanced, appropriately paced curriculum, for the sake of nurturing and cultivating the well-rounded students. However, without the advice and monitoring of the teachers or faculties, given the freedom to choose the curriculum, textbooks and the disregarding of the exercise, students might choose the enjoyable courses and ignore some other core courses, which are required in university. In the other words, the university and college can bring to students more rounded educations.

In sum, the statement given by the speaker is too extreme, and cannot be generalized, for the reason that not all the people are equipped with the capacity to appropriately choose the right courses and pace to learn by themselves. Moreover, it is not an effective means in the light of the whole life in comparison to the former education, which is proven by empirical evidence to have cultured large number of students. In the final analysis, students should be encouraged to study in universities and colleges along with their peers.

poohUID: 146994

The intellectual benefits of attending a university or college are vastly overrated: most people could learn more by studying and reading on their own for four years than by pursuing a university or college degree.
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

Does the intellectual benefits of attending a university are vastly overstated? Could most people learn more by studying and reading on their own in four years than by pursuing a university or college degree?不要抄原题的语句  I agree with the speaker's assertion insofar as some people can and do be can and do be???语法错误appropriate to teach and study by themselves. However, I must point out that they would hardly be to well-rounded, informed, productive people.

Admittedly, the history teems with intellectual elites who prefer the means of studying and reading by themselves, rather than being along with other peers in the class of the university or college, for the advantage that they could arrange their time unfetteredly. Moreover 不要moreover了，后面这句根前面的内容是一样的, they would not be forced to learn those courses uninteresting for them. No one will disagree that some people indeed own some innate talents or gifts for specific fields. For instance, as for a student who is musically gifted, to pay lots of time and attention on advanced chemistry courses would be to eliminate time and attention on music, thus undermining the invaluable gift. 在大学里也分专业，没有要求学音乐的学生要学化学啊，例子不恰当In short, the freedom to choose proper agenda and curriculum is the merit of studying and learning on one's own for some people.

However, to forsake pursing a university or college degree but to learn by oneself inextricably breed the following shortcomings. Firstly, the former education not only bring us the intellectual knowledge and experience which would help us in working world, but also facilitate us to develop our own value system and moral standard which will serve us in any walk of life, however, these cannot be learned by ourselves at home.这点有问题。谁说自学就一定是自己关起门来学，不跟外界接触了？书籍，电视，报纸，网络，跟人们的交流都是塑造价值观的方式， 因此your ideas are not convincing  Under the system and the standard, we could understand and appreciate the different viewpoints and the people who are different from us, thus cooperating together in the future work under those agreed-upon goals.

Secondly, the university and college are actually comparatively small societies, embracing the diverse population, and the people owing different religion beliefs and customs. Understandably, studying in universities can help us learn socialization, or to get along with each other. To witness witness???怎么还需要目击，这个词用得太不合适了 the socialization, one need no no-->not to look further than the discussion class, where the students learn to express, discuss, negotiate, compromise and cooperate, all of which cannot be accessed to along with oneself. 语法错误，改成 all of which cannot be accessed to by learning by oneself That is to say, university provides us environment of much use 语法错误to communicate with other peers and faculties to promote our further socialization.

Thirdly, the former educator would try their best to equip the students--the recipient of the education--with various courses, balanced, appropriately paced curriculum, for the sake of nurturing and cultivating the well-rounded students.我在怀疑你到底支持全面的教育，还是根据学生的兴趣有重点地学习，body 1跟这里矛盾 However, without the advice and monitoring of the teachers or faculties, given the freedom to choose the curriculum, textbooks and the disregarding of the exercise, students might choose the enjoyable courses and ignore some other core courses, which are required in university. In the other words, the university and college can bring to students more rounded educations.

In sum, the statement given by the speaker is too extreme, and cannot be generalized, for the reason that not all the people are equipped with the capacity to appropriately choose the right courses and pace to learn by themselves. Moreover, it is not an effective means in the light of the whole life in comparison to the former education, which is proven by empirical evidence to have cultured large number of students. In the final analysis, students should be encouraged to study in universities and colleges along with their peers.

body段都写的比较浅，建议只写3个body, 否则没有时间展开来写

spriteeUID: 189414

楼上已经说的很多了，我主要想说的问题有两个
1。语言单调，可以试着看看关于写作词汇方面的材料，不要用那些cliche
2。严重缺乏实例，整篇文章都在说理，建议编一些例子，就像东方课上教的那样

nacorUID: 176753

非常感谢 ：）

jorgeUID: 108878

Admittedly, the history teems with intellectual elites who prefer the means of studying and reading by themselves, rather thanbeing along with other peers in the class of the university or college,

being along with --> 应该为get along with ,和前面的prefer 对应.

windpassmeUID: 153908

Does the intellectual benefits of attending a university are vastly overstated? Could most people learn more by studying and reading on their own in four years than by pursuing a university or college degree? I agree with the speaker's assertion insofar as some people can and do be appropriate to teach and study by themselves. However, I must point out that they 指代是否有些不明 would hardly be to well-rounded, informed, productive people.

Admittedly, the history teems with intellectual elites who prefer the means of studying and reading by themselves, rather than along with other peers in the class of the university or college, for the advantage that they could arrange their time unfetteredly. Moreover, they would not be forced to learn those courses uninteresting for them. No one will disagree that some people indeed own some innate talents or gifts for specific fields. For instance, as for a student who is musically gifted, to pay lots of time and attention on advanced chemistry courses would be to eliminate time and attention on music, thus undermining the invaluable gift. In short, the freedom to choose proper agenda and curriculum is the merit of studying and learning on one's own for some people.

However, to forsake pursing a university or college degree but to learn by oneself inextricably breed the following shortcomings. Firstly, the former education not only bring us the intellectual knowledge and experience which would help us in working world, but also facilitate us to develop our own value system and moral standard which will serve us in any walk of life, however, these cannot be learned by ourselves at home. （Under the system and the standard, we could understand and appreciate the different viewpoints and the people who are different from us, thus cooperating together in the future work under those agreed-upon goals.）括号中的是否和第二理由段相重合，归入第二理由段是否会更好？

Secondly, the university and college are actually comparatively small societies, embracing the diverse population, and the people owing different religion beliefs and customs. Understandably, studying in universities can help us learn socialization, or to get along with each other. To witness the socialization, one need no look further than the discussion class, where the students learn to express, discuss, negotiate, compromise and cooperate, all of which cannot be accessed to along with oneself. That is to say, university provides us environment of much use to communicate with other peers and faculties to promote our further socialization.

Thirdly, the former educator would try their best to equip the students--the recipient of the education--with various courses, balanced, appropriately paced curriculum, for the sake of nurturing and cultivating the well-rounded students. However, without the advice and monitoring of the teachers or faculties, given the freedom to choose the curriculum, textbooks and the disregarding of the exercise, students might choose the enjoyable courses and ignore some other core courses, which are required in university. In the other words, the university and college can bring to students more rounded educations.（另一个可能的问题是，您上面好像的隐含意思是：人可以偏科，这里又强调balance是否有自相矛盾的嫌疑？）

In sum, the statement given by the speaker is too extreme, and cannot be generalized, for the reason that not all the people are equipped with the capacity to appropriately choose the right courses and pace to learn by themselves. Moreover, it is not an effective means in the light of the whole life in comparison to the former education, which is proven by empirical evidence to have cultured large number of students. In the final analysis, students should be encouraged to study in universities and colleges along with their peers.

jorgeUID: 108878

a good example related with the topic is the Bill Gates who created Microsoft company and obtained tremendous fortune;The CEO of Oracle company named Larry Ellison may also serve as a vivid illustration