Argu 10 第一次写，请大家多多指教、多多帮助！谢谢！

Echo_XuUID: 194985

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.
    "The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25% greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per
gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia govrnment should
begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."   



    This editorial recommends that Batavia's government should begin to regulate milk prices to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply
of milk for consumers. To support theses recommendation the editorial relies on the fact that over the past ten years the number of dairy farms
in Batavia has increased by 25% , and during the same period, at Excello Food Market milk prices have increased by 100%. However, the argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
   
      First of all, the editorial indicates that Excello Food Market has increased over double. Accordingly, the argument rests on the assumption that Excello's milk prices image those throughout Batavia. However, the editorial provides no evidence that this is the case. It is entirely possible that Excello's milk prices currently exceed nationwide averages. If this is the case, the government regulation of milk prices would be sabotaged.
   
      Secondly, the argument rests on the assumption that in claiming that milk prices are particularly "excessive" Batavia's milk-sale profits exceed profits from the sale of other goods there to a significant degree, even if Excello's milk prices image those throughout Batavia. But the editorial provides no evidence to testify this assumption. During the same period, maybe profits from the sale of other goods are even more than profits from milk sales. Or maybe other prices have risen more on a percentage basis. In either event, the editorial could not justifiably rely on the mere fact that milk prices have increased over double to support the claim that milk-sale profits are excessive.
   
      Thirdly, the editorial assumes that increase profits due to the increase in milk prices. However, this is not certainly the case. It is totally possible that the costs of producing and delivering milk have risen either over the last ten years. Consequently, whether the milk-sale is excessive lies on a cost benefit analysis. And the author does not provide.
      
      Even if the editorial can substantiate the foregoing assumptions, the editorial overlooks the possibility that milk producers would produce less milk to respond to the regulation, lying on the extent of lower milk prices to its risen demand. Without ruling out this possible situation, the editorial cannot convince me that the proposition would help ensure adequate supply of milk.
      
      In sum, the recommendation is not well supported. To convince me that recommended regulation is necessary to ensure the supply of reasonably price milk, the editorial must provide clear statistical evidence that Excello's milk prices image those throughout Batavia and that profits of milk-sale is in fact excessive. To better evaluate the proposition, I would need more information about how the regulation would effect both the supply and the demand of milk in Batavia.

clausiusUID: 147331

This editorial recommends that Batavia's government should begin to regulate milk prices to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply
of milk for consumers. To support [U]theses ( this )[/U]  recommendation the editorial relies on the fact that over the past ten years the number of dairy farms in Batavia has increased by 25% , and during the same period, at Excello Food Market milk prices have increased by 100%. However, the argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the editorial indicates that Excello Food Market has increased over double. Accordingly, the argument rests on the assumption that Excello's milk prices image those throughout Batavia. However, the editorial provides no evidence that this is the case. It is entirely possible that Excello's milk prices currently exceed nationwide averages. If this is the case, the government regulation of milk prices would be sabotaged.
( 这段没看懂?????????)

Secondly, the argument rests on the assumption that in claiming that milk prices are particularly "excessive" Batavia's milk-sale profits exceed profits from the sale of other goods there to a significant degree, even if Excello's milk prices [U]image ( 这个image 是什么意思,不会是作反映吧? 要是反映用reflect 比较好)[/U] those throughout Batavia. But the editorial provides no evidence to testify this assumption. During the same period, maybe profits from the sale of other goods are even more than profits from milk sales. Or maybe other prices have risen more on a percentage basis. In either event, the editorial could not justifiably rely on the mere fact that milk prices have increased over double to support the claim that milk-sale profits are excessive.

Thirdly, the editorial assumes that increase profits due to the increase in milk prices. However, this is not certainly the case. It is totally possible that the costs of producing and delivering milk have risen either over the last ten years. Consequently, whether the milk-sale is excessive lies on a cost benefit analysis. And the author does not provide. Even if the editorial can substantiate the foregoing assumptions, the editorial overlooks the possibility that milk producers would produce less milk to respond to the regulation, lying on the extent of lower milk prices to its risen demand. Without ruling out this possible situation, the editorial cannot convince me that the proposition would help ensure adequate supply of milk. (这段写的比较好)

In sum, the recommendation is not well supported. To convince me that recommended regulation is necessary to ensure the supply of reasonably price milk, the editorial must provide clear statistical evidence that Excello's milk prices image those throughout Batavia and that profits of milk-sale [U]is ( are )[/U]  in fact excessive. To better evaluate the proposition, I would need more information about how the regulation would effect both the supply and the demand of milk in Batavia.

除了第二段我没看明白，其他写的都不错．当然，也许第二段没问题是我的水平有问题．

楼主请参考．

keldaUID: 156803

This editorial recommends that Batavia's government should begin to regulate milk prices to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers. To support theses recommendation the editorial relies on the fact that over the past ten years the number of dairy farms in Batavia has increased by 25%, and during the same period, at Excello Food Market milk prices have increased by 100%. However, the argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands. （开头还可以）

First of all, the editorial indicates that Excello Food Market has increased over double.（是price double吧？） Accordingly, the argument rests on the assumption that Excello's milk prices （改成the price of milk in Excello好些吧？） image those throughout Batavia. However, the editorial provides no evidence that this is the case. It is entirely possible that Excello's milk prices currently exceed nationwide averages. If this is the case, （可以换成If this is true,避免和前面的this is the case重复） the government regulation of milk prices would be sabotaged（sabotaged这个词用得不太合适，你想表达什么意思？）.

Secondly, the argument rests on the assumption that（这个句式上一段已经出现过，可以变换一种说法） in claiming that milk prices are particularly "excessive" Batavia's milk-sale profits exceed profits from the sale of other goods there to a significant degree,（这句话有问题） even if Excello's milk prices image（可以换成reflect,避免重复） those throughout Batavia. But the editorial provides no evidence to testify this assumption. During the same period, maybe profits from the sale of other goods are even more than profits from milk sales. Or maybe other prices （改为the prices of other goods）have risen more on a percentage basis. In either event, the editorial could not justifiably rely on（可以换成base on,避免重复） the mere fact that milk prices have increased over double to support the claim that milk-sale profits are excessive.(这段对批驳论点，作用不大)

Thirdly, the editorial assumes that increase profits due to the increase in milk prices. However, this is not certainly the case. It is totally possible that the costs of either producing or delivering milk have (has) risen over the last ten years. (可以举几个例子，再说的具体些，比如养牛的饲料贵了等等) Consequently, whether the （加profit of the
）milk-sale is excessive lies on a cost benefit analysis. And(and最好不要放在句首) the author does not provide （加any information about cost）.（这段可以论证的在具体，深入一些）

Even if the editorial can substantiate the foregoing assumptions, the editorial overlooks the possibility that milk producers would produce less milk to respond to the regulation, lying on the extent of lower milk prices to its risen demand. Without ruling out this possible situation, the editorial cannot convince me that the proposition would help ensure adequate supply of milk. （同样，这段也论述的不够深入）

In sum, the recommendation is not well supported. To convince me that recommended（去掉recommended） regulation is necessary to ensure the supply of reasonably price milk, the editorial must provide clear statistical evidence that Excello's milk prices image those throughout Batavia and that profits of milk-sale is in fact excessive. To better evaluate the proposition, I would need more information about how the regulation would effect both the supply and the demand of milk in Batavia.

写的还不错，有几方面需要改进。1.批驳点不需要太多，2-3条就够了，但是每条都要尽量分析的透彻，因为考场上也没那么多时间把所有的错误都攻击到。2.重复的词和句式不少，要尽量变换说法，不要使用过多的套话。加油哦！ :D

gdhdannyUID: 125843

看了一下，结构上没问题，点抓的也很准。Argu本身就是比较有规律的，把握好至少是4分的。值得注意的几点是，用此切忌重复过多，这样会给人理亏辞穷的感觉。比较好的一点是在批驳的过程中使用递进的关系，很有说服力的，要保持。

还有，真正写的时候30分钟恐怕很难面面俱到，可以考虑把开头简化