argument1 请大家指教

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

In this argument, the arguer recommends that Nature’s Way should build next new shore in Plainville. At first glance, this argument seems very specific and convincing. A careful examination of it, however, would reveal how groundless it is.
   Firstly, the argument is based on the gratuitous assumption that people like sports must be care of healthy food. It is somewhat ridiculous, isn’t it? As we know, doing exercise and eating healthy food are the two main ways to keep fit. The arguer cites that the residents in Plainville buy many sports equipment and are willing to attend healthy club. But it don’t follow that they are inclined to healthy food, too. Besides, the evidence Plainville’ schoolchildren are required to participate in ‘fitness for life program’ don’t strongly support the arguer’s view. As the arguer says, they are required to attend the program, they might dislike it at all. It is quite possible that residents choose sports as their only choice to keep healthy, if so, healthy food will not have market in Plainville.
   Secondly, grant that people in Plainville like healthy food and healthy food can sells well in Plainville, this doesn’t necessarily mean that Nature’s Way’ product can sell well. There may be a lot of other stores which also sell healthy food. Nature’s Way’ success at other areas doesn’t insure their profits, because different places have different situation, previous experience can apply to Plainville completely. The other stores may cater customer’s tastes and their prices might be much cheaper than Nature’s Ways. Even if they are on the same level, intensive competition surly result in a sharp decreasing of Nature’s Way’s profit, even make Nature’s Way bankrupt.
Finally, the cost may be very high. It equally possible that the price of grain for food produce here is very high, the salary for employee is in a high standard and the convey cost is not low. All of these cause the high total cost. So even Nature’s Way sells lots of goods, they still can not earn so much money.
To sum up, the argument is not well reasoning and lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove that residents in Plainville want to consume Nature’s Way’ healthy food exclusively. Additionally, it would be essential for the arguer to make an effective and representative survey to support the argument.

kiciUID: 169506

怎么没有什么来讨论呢？
文章400多字吧 内容等等基本还是不错的
我谈谈个人意见吧
结尾的最后一句是说要加一些个有代表性的调查结果，可文并没有提到survey呀，文中有个调查说运动鞋和运动服销售达到最高点，好像没有议论这个。
最后一个正文段，即finally那段，感觉不算没有这个逻辑漏洞大：因为文章有3个论据，所以多驳几个论据好/。最后一个论据，说孩子的健康教育那个论据，这个论据有个大缺陷，学生成为未来的消费者需要很长时间，第一个调查也有大缺陷，调查说是历史最高点，并没有说销售足以盈利等等，是个不完全的调查证据，我的点点建议
大家都来讨论讨论阿

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

多谢指教