issue 114 科技类，欢迎砸转，一句话也行，谢谢~~祝大家鸡年大吉~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity.

------正文------
Throughout the 21st century, technology has made great development, while humanity made little progress. There are a lot of unsolved problems such as war, violence, poverty that we still did not get rid of. I fundamentally agree that technology cannot alter the condition of humanity and humanity may progress by the devotion of the whole human being.

Human started two world wars over the past century and battles never stopped in the parts of the world. With the development of technology, one country may start wars to conquer the others for the benefit of property and resource without considering that wars contradict humanity. For example, during the Second World War, Adolf Hitler declared the idea of fanatic nationalism, which leaded a large number of ignorant youngsters to join the army and were sent to the battlefront. Unfortunately, most of them were killed in the battles, which resulted in the fact that there were few strong young men alive in Germany during the war. Moreover, the Nazi cruelly slaughtered thousands of Jews no matter they are women or children. And many Jews were sent to the concentration camps, in which they were deprived everything even their teeth and hairs. Their living conditions were so awful that most of them got sick. They had to work all day without any food. When the Russian soldiers liberated the concentration camps few of the Jews survived in the end. The war progressed the development of technology in some ways, however, the technology changed nothing of humanity.

The violence continuously happened all over the world during the last century. One of the most shocked violences is "9.11", which killed thousands of innocent people and the world trade centers, the symbol of New York, were destroyed. The terrorists hijacked two planes and bumped into the high-rises without any consideration of the people's lives. Also in the Middle East the terrorists sent some women as body bomb to Israel and directed them to the public places such as the buses, the pubs and the hotels, in which the bombs can caused many more people's lives. The violence never ceased there and we could watch this kind of new on TV every day. Furthermore, this kind of violence also happened in Indonesia that killed more than one thousand foreigners and in Spain that shocked the Spanish government. Technology indirectly provides some advanced equipment for terrorists, those will do harm to our life regarding no humanity in their mind.

Poverty, regarded as one of the most serious problems in the world, is still with us now. For example the people in Africa do not have enough food for their living. What they eat is only potatoes without any other vegetables, which do not contain the necessary vitamins and minerals. Usually they do not even have potatoes for meals. Nevertheless, in other part of the world, people have sufficient food and they usually throw them away without finishing them all. Take our school as an example. Usually the students are not satisfied with the meals provided by the cafes and they just eat some of the food then leave the other untouched. They do not feel guilty for their waste of food and they do not care that there are a number of starving people in Africa. Technology has improved the equipment for agriculture. However, the people in Africa still face the problem of poverty, which humanity has done little to change it.

In sum, during the last century technology has made significant development and made our life more efficient and convenient, which, however, made little contribution to the progress of humanity. War, violence and poverty are still the serious problems we confront now.

nightsky2004UID: 155946

我接了，5点之前改完。

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

非常感谢~~我也正在帮别人改呢：）

nightsky2004UID: 155946

Throughout the 21st century, technology has made great development, while humanity这个词似乎用得不太好，war, violence, poverty能否都归在人道的范围内呢？ made little progress. There are a lot of unsolved problems such as war, violence, poverty that we still did not get rid of. I fundamentally agree that technology cannot alter the condition of humanity and humanity may progress by the devotion of the whole human being.
首段开门见山的提出了你的观点，（fundamentally agree）接着看看
Human started two world wars over the past century and battles never stopped in the parts of the world.战争应该是发生在局部吧，那么可以说partial war never stopped，个人建议 With the development of technology, one country may start wars to conquer the othersthe others代表余下所有的国家，最好圈定一个范围，就目前而言，就算是那些超级大国恐怕也无法和出它以外的全世界对抗吧 for the benefit of property and resource without considering that wars contradict humanity. For example, during the Second World War, Adolf Hitler declared the idea of fanatic nationalism, which leaded感觉这个词用confuse或者什么代表蛊惑的比较好 a large number of ignorant youngsters to join the army and were sent to the battlefront.感觉这句话有语病，起码and后面的部分不对 Unfortunately,感觉这里不用Unfortunately，因为伤亡是战争的必然结果，直接叙述就可以了 most of them were killed in the battles, which resulted in the fact that there were few strong young men alive in Germany during the war. Moreover, the Nazi cruelly slaughtered thousands of Jews no matter［感觉这里不太对，用一个逗号，后接even是不是好点］ they are women or children. And many Jews were sent to the concentration camps, in which they were deprived everything even their teeth and hairs. Their living conditions were so awful that most of them got sick. They had to work all day without any food.［这句话说得严重了，have inefficient food更好点］ When the Russian soldiers liberated the concentration camps few of the Jews survived in the end. The war progressed the development of technology in some ways, however, the technology changed nothing of humanity.结尾不错
［本段谈论战争所造成的灾难，但是似乎没有和科技发展相结合，仅仅是在结尾说了一句，不足以服人，后面两段的问题是一样的］
The violence continuously happened all over the world during the last century. One of the most shocked violences is "9.11", which killed thousands of innocent people and the world trade centers, the symbol of New York, were destroyed. The terrorists hijacked two planes and bumped into the high-rises without any consideration of the people's lives. Also in the Middle East the terrorists sent some women as body bomb to Israel and directed them to the public places such as the buses, the pubs and the hotels, in which the bombs can caused many more people's lives. The violence never ceased there and we could watch this kind of new on TV every day. Furthermore, this kind of violence also happened in Indonesia that killed more than one thousand foreigners and in Spain that shocked the Spanish government. Technology indirectly provides some advanced equipment for terrorists, those will do harm to our life regarding no humanity in their mind.

Poverty, regarded as one of the most serious problems in the world, is still with us now. For example the people in Africa do not have enough food for their living. What they eat is only potatoes without any other vegetables, which do not contain the necessary vitamins and minerals. Usually they do not even have potatoes for meals. Nevertheless, in other part of the world, people have sufficient food and they usually throw them away without finishing them all. Take our school as an example. Usually the students are not satisfied with the meals provided by the cafes and they just eat some of the food then leave the other untouched. They do not feel guilty for their waste of food and they do not care that there are a number of starving people in Africa. Technology has improved the equipment for agriculture. However, the people in Africa still face the problem of poverty, which humanity has done little to change it.

In sum, during the last century technology has made significant development and made our life more efficient and convenient, which, however, made little contribution to the progress of humanity. War, violence and poverty are still the serious problems we confront now.
［搂主好像没有把这些和科技发展结合，仅仅说了这情况给人类造成的危害，换句话说就是有点跑题。后面两段我没有去改，因为我认为跑题的文章最好是整体改改。搂主的文笔还是不错的，叙述事情也算清楚，赞一个，加油呀。］

nightsky2004UID: 155946

还好没有超时。
个人意见仅供参考，如有不适，请指正。

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢nightsky2004的意见，我这样写算跑题了？哎呀，是不是我对题目的理解有一些问题呢？我觉得题目中并没有强调科技的进步啊？我个人认为题目还是偏重于人性方面的问题。你觉得呢？

nightsky2004UID: 155946

Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity.
题目如上，最后一句说的是科技无法改变人性，就是说科技发展不会对humanity产生real progress，我认为有必要明确一下什么是humanity progress，再谈谈科技的作用。因为题目最后一句（算是总结吧）给了一个technology 和humanity的关系，所以我们就要根据它的关系加以讨论。感觉应该是把二者（technology和humanity）结合起来说才可以对题。
个人意见，如有不适，请指正。

冥界星灿UID: 184746

先占座，明晚十点前改完的说^_^

我占总是占得很长，大家有兴趣的先改

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢冥界星灿：）Looking forward for your amendment

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

恩~~~nightsky2004说得挺有道理的，那我要把文章全部改掉？苦恼啊：（

冥界星灿UID: 184746

Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity.

------正文------
Throughout the 21st century21century has did not pase, technology has made great development, while humanity made little progress. There are a lot of unsolved problems such as war, violence, poverty that we still did not get rid of. I fundamentally agree that technology cannot alter the condition of humanity and humanity may progress by the devotion of the whole human beingand引导的后半句，与题目没关系.

Human started two world wars over the past century and battles never stopped in the parts of the world. With the development of technology, one country may start wars to conquer the others for the benefit of property and resource without considering that wars contradict humanity. Suppose the technology is not as developed as it is when, all kinds of chemical weapons and guns might not exist. The fascists could not start a miserable war with the weapons.For example, during the Second World War, Adolf Hitler declared the idea of fanatic nationalism, which leaded a large number of ignorant youngsters to join the army and were sent to the battlefront. Unfortunately, most of them were killed in the battles, which resulted in the fact that there were few strong young men alive in Germany during the war. Moreover, the Nazi cruelly slaughtered thousands of Jews no matter they are women or children. And many Jews were sent to the concentration camps, in which they were deprived everything even their teeth and hairs. Their living conditions were so awful that most of them got sick. They had to work all day without any food. When the Russian soldiers liberated the concentration camps few of the Jews survived in the end. The war progressed the development of technology in some ways, however, the technology changed nothing of humanity.这段论述nightsky2004已经在语言上改得很细了，再加上楼主功力高深，我真是想改都没得改了。只是，是不是论述篇幅有点长？不必要的可以删掉。

The violence continuously happened all over the world during the last century. One of the most shocked violences is "9.11", which killed thousands of innocent people and the world trade centers, the symbol of New York, were destroyed.the world trade centers, the symbol of New York, were destroyed改成and destroyed the World Trade Centers顺眼  The terrorists hijacked two planes and bumped into the high-rises without any consideration of the people's lives. Also in the Middle East the terrorists sent some women as body bombbombs to Israel and directedinstigated them to the public places such as the buses, the pubs and the hotels, in which the bombs can caused many more people's lives. body bombs这个例子可以证明没有科技更安全，但无法证明发展的问题，可以去掉The violence never ceased there and we could watch this kind of new on TV every day. Furthermore, this kind of violence also happened in Indonesia that killed more than one thousand foreigners and in Spain that shocked the Spanish government. Technology indirectly provides some advanced equipment for terrorists, those will do harm to our life regarding no humanity in their mind.The 21st is no doubtedly the most developed era of technology trought the human history, which did not hamper the happen of the tragedy. Moreover, this kind of incidence has never happened during hundrends of years past. Obviously, the development of technolodgy warranted nothing of humanity.

Poverty, regarded as one of the most serious problems in the world, is still with us now. For example the people in Africa do not have enough food for their living. What they eat is only potatoes without any other vegetables, which do not contain the necessary vitamins and minerals. Usually they do not even have potatoes for meals. Nevertheless, in other part of the world, people have sufficient food and they usually throw them away without finishing them all. Take our school as an example. Usually the students are not satisfied with the meals provided by the cafes and they just eat some of the food then leave the other untouched. They do not feel guilty for their waste of food and they do not care that there are a number of starving people in Africa. The critical point is that the development of agriculture development will provided the human beings enough foods at ease, whileas the humanity which lags a lot than the development of thechnolody impedes the share of foods among countries and all human beings. Due to the non-deveopment of humanity and thereby the partical share of foods, the Africans are suffering from starvation. Technology has improved the equipment for agriculture. However, the people in Africa still face the problem of poverty, which humanity has done little to change it.

In sum, during the last century technology has made significant development and made our life more efficient and convenient, which, however, made little contribution to the progress of humanity. War, violence and poverty are still the serious problems we confront now.

写的非常不错的说！好多例子，赞一个！

关于跑题问题，个人认为如果光举例子，跑是绝对的，不跑是相对的。只要用适当论述讲明白例子背后的隐藏含义，把例子为我所用就可以了。我已经把添了一些论证过程（nickaaronlee我给你改得这么细，都快自己写一篇了。你怎么感谢我 ^_^）

添的不知对错，麻烦老兄也帮我看看^_^

结构、语言没的挑。

说到这就更崇拜nightsky2004了，这个大神仙这么好的语言都改的出，这年头，牛人这么多我可怎么混阿——

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢冥界星灿的批改：）也非常感谢你的意见，我已经把你加的东西都记下来了，呵呵~~既然知道nightsky2004的语言牛，就要向人家多学习嘛，呵呵~~大家一起进步，加油~~对了，我也想帮你改文章表示回谢，所以呢，希望你在签名的地方注明自己的文章链接哦~~

nightsky2004UID: 155946

天哪？我的语言好？真是太夸张了，我写作的语言烂得不行（很多次我都无法忍受）。而且改作文和自己写作文是不一样的（我写作文的时候会犯些很低级的错误），要不然怎么会有当局者迷旁观者清呢？

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

呵呵，同感，我写的时候一个句子有时会想半天都觉得不顺：）加油~~~