Issue 52 第一次发文章，有多少人帮我改，必定双倍奉还(I promise)

sblbaslerUID: 175229

Issue 52 Education encourages students to criticize and question, and therefore does little to promote the social harmony.



In the era of high efficiency leading to the promotion of people’s attention on increasing social harmony by encouraging students to question and criticize. I wholeheartedly advocate that encouraging students to criticize and question dose not necessarily jeopardize the social harmony, but, on the contrary, promotes it. A contrary position would caution that extending the proposition too far might risk undermining those objectives.

There exist a variety of reasons why I strongly maintain this point of view, and I shall here explore only a few of the most essential ones.

Harmony, an ideal state that human beings pursue from the very inception of society tens of thousands of years ago, should not simply be shared as a goal of ultimate pace, but similar to a kind of homeostasis, which is a universal state existing among chemistry. As we know, every chemic reaction which is in the state of homeostasis needs catalyzer, therefore, criticizing and questioning is just an exact one in point during the homeostasis of society. Harmony cannot go without criticizing and questioning as homeostasis cannot be accomplished without catalyzer. Provided criticizing and questioning is the inception of prosperity of a society, ultimate pace causes the end of a dynasty. China is just a case in point. History of China is invariably fraught with such examples. Looking back on the Chinese dynasties during the thousands of years, almost every King precludes criticizing the society, even talking about it. What’s more, there established a law that any one who criticize and question the society should be sentenced to death, in order to protect the so-called and appearing harmony. Correspondingly, almost every dynasty suffered from the identical result: the smile seemingly spread on everyone’s face at the same time animosity bear on everyone’s mind, and on the moment that smile was replaced by the animosity the society commenced to sturt and the end  of King came. Therefore, in order to maintain the sort of homeostasis of the society, criticizing and questioning is imperative.

Can social harmony go without the progress of all the society; Can social harmony go without the increasing of people’s living stander; Can social harmony go without the belief beared in every individual’s mind that everyone of us has a brighter future. The answers are palpable. Without these , the fire of anger would be lit in everyone’s heart; spread on every corner of the society; in the end burn out the entire social harmony. Criticizing and questioning are just the way to prevent it. With it scientists can be cognizant of what the society needs to make progress; With it political leaders can be aware of what the citizens need essentially; With all these preceding discussion, everyone of us know that there exists a brighter future presenting not too far away from us. According to a recent investigation, implemented by Historical Department of Paderborn UGH, a university in German, 93% , approximately, subversions of regime are caused by the banning of criticizing and questioning. The investigation reveals in its remarks a universal truth that one is almost not able to find evidence that criticizing and questioning can jeopardize the social harmony, indeed invariably create it.

In conclusion,  in view of the complexity of the issue, it must be explained that these reasons sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole, thus becoming increasingly persuasive than any one of them. So, any thinking person must believe that criticizing and question as a way to seek common ground while reserving existing differences is always conducive to promoting the social harmony.

nightsky2004UID: 155946

我先看了看，个人感觉搂主的语言不错的，详细地修改晚上再贴。
出去拜年了。

sblbaslerUID: 175229

先谢过楼上的了，去帮别人改去喽！

kiciUID: 169506

语言上真的很不错~~
body第一段，催化剂的作用是改变能量势垒吧，every chemic reaction which is in the state of homeostasis needs catalyzer好像不太对啊，例子是用在这挺好的，觉得没有完全点中要害的感觉，小缺憾，不知老美在意这些不

sblbaslerUID: 175229

楼上是学化学专业的吧，太专业了，我只是想表达......?????突然发现是有问题，嘻嘻，

nightsky2004UID: 155946

In the era of high efficiency leading to the promotion of people’s attention on increasing social harmony by encouraging students to question and criticize. I wholeheartedly advocate that encouraging students to criticize and question dose not necessarily jeopardize the social harmony, but, on the contrary, promotes it. A contrary position would caution that extending the proposition too far might risk undermining those objectives.这一句没看懂，不知道是什么意思，可能是搂主写得太深了
首段说了自己的观点，应该是agree吧，说得很简洁，不错
There exist a variety of reasons why I strongly maintain this point of view, and I shall here explore only a few of the most essential ones.

Harmony, an ideal state that human beings pursue from the very inception of society tens of thousands of years ago, should not simply be shared as a goal of ultimate pace, but similar to a kind of homeostasis, which is a universal state existing among chemistry.这一句就是你这一段的thesis吗？好像没有说明harmony和question的联系呀？ As we know, every chemic reaction which is in the state of homeostasis needs catalyzercatalyze,这句话绝对了点吧，有的反应似乎不用呀 therefore, criticizing and questioning is just an exact one in point during the homeostasis of society. Harmony cannot go without criticizing and questioning as homeostasis cannot be accomplished without catalyzer. Provided criticizing and questioning is the inception of prosperity of a society, ultimate pace causes the end of a dynasty. China is just a case in point. History of China is invariably fraught with such examples. Looking back on the Chinese dynasties during the thousands of years,这里是不是说得太复杂了，上面的话完全可以改写得简洁一点 almost every King precludes criticizing the society, even talking about it.这又说得绝对了，应该分开讨论呀 What’s more, there established a law that any one who criticize and question the society should be sentenced to death, in order to protect the so-called and appearing harmony.是为了维护社会的稳定呢？还是为了维护其君主的威严呢？ Correspondingly, almost every dynasty suffered from the identical result: the smile seemingly spread on everyone’s face at the same time animosity bear on everyone’s mind, and on the moment that smile was replaced by the animosity the society commenced to sturt and the end of King came. Therefore, in order to maintain the sort of homeostasis of the society, criticizing and questioning is imperative.
本段说得是批评性的言论会对社会和睦有利（是这个意思吧），但是例子举得不太好，不太能够说服人，最好再改改
Can social harmony go without the progress of all the society; Can social harmony go without the increasing of people’s living stander; Can social harmony go without the belief beared in every individual’s mind that everyone of us has a brighter future. The answers are palpable.主题句说得太罗嗦了，你上面的用一句话就可以概括了，你的主题句要简洁，论述部分交给下面的部分就可以了 Without these , the fire of anger would be lit in everyone’s heart; spread on every corner of the society; in the end burn out the entire social harmony.你的意思是说社会的稳定离不开社会的发展？观点很新鲜，生产的发展可以解决一切问题吗？ Criticizing and questioning are just the way to prevent it. With it scientists can be cognizant of what the society needs to make progress; With it political leaders can be aware of what the citizens need essentially; With all these preceding discussion, everyone of us know that there exists a brighter future presenting not too far away from us. According to a recent investigation, implemented by Historical Department of Paderborn UGH, a university in German, 93% , approximately, subversions of regime are caused by the banning of criticizing and questioning. The investigation reveals in its remarks a universal truth that one is almost not able to find evidence that criticizing and questioning can jeopardize the social harmony, indeed invariably create it.
本段的主题不明确，至少我认为主题句无法概括你后面的论述，或者是你后面的论述support主题句，也许我说得严重了点，你再仔细看看吧
In conclusion, in view of the complexity of the issue, it must be explained that these reasons sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole, thus becoming increasingly persuasive than any one of them.这些reasons具体的是什么，至少简单的提一下嘛 So, any thinking person must believe that criticizing and question as a way to seek common ground while reserving existing differences is always conducive to promoting the social harmony.
搂主的语言不错，通篇文章我没有找到什么明显的错误，叙述得也比较流畅，赞一个。但是搂主论述得不太清楚，特别是论述于主题句脱节，再改改吧，加油呀

指向大海UID: 158737

Issue 52 Education encourages students to criticize and question, and therefore does little to promote the social harmony.



In the era of high efficiency leading to the promotion of people’s attention on increasing social harmony by encouraging students to question and criticize. I wholeheartedly advocate that encouraging students to criticize and question dose not necessarily jeopardize the social harmony, but, on the contrary, promotes it. A contrary position would caution that extending the proposition too far might risk undermining those objectives.

There exist a variety of reasons why I strongly maintain this point of view, and I shall here explore only a few of the most essential ones.[典型的新东方句子]

Harmony, an ideal state that human beings pursue from the very inception of society tens of thousands of years ago, should not simply be shared as a goal of ultimate pace, but similar to a kind of homeostasis, which is a universal state existing among chemistry. As we know, every chemic reaction which is in the state of homeostasis needs catalyzer, therefore, criticizing and questioning is just an exact one in point during the homeostasis of society. Harmony cannot go without criticizing and questioning as homeostasis cannot be accomplished without catalyzer. Provided criticizing and questioning is the inception of prosperity of a society, ultimate pace causes the end of a dynasty. China is just a case in point. History of China is invariably fraught with such examples. Looking back on the Chinese dynasties during the thousands of years, almost every King precludes criticizing the society, even talking about it.[并不是每个君主,我觉得说受称赞的君主多是接受批评的(历史上不乏这样的例子如唐太宗和魏征),而一个朝代最后一个君主几乎全是听不进异议的所以才导致朝代的更替] What’s more, there established a law that any one who criticize and question the society should be sentenced to death, in order to protect the so-called and appearing harmony. Correspondingly, almost every dynasty suffered from the identical result: the smile seemingly spread on everyone’s face at the same time animosity bear on everyone’s mind, and on the moment that smile was replaced by the animosity the society commenced to sturt and the end of King came.[这句好!不过觉得前面可以简洁些还可以举外国君主的例子] Therefore, in order to maintain the sort of homeostasis of the society, criticizing and questioning is imperative.

Can social harmony go without the progress of all the society; Can social harmony go without the increasing of people’s living stander; Can social harmony go without the belief beared in every individual’s mind that everyone of us has a brighter future.[你说我的文章主题句不好,你这句好像也…] The answers are palpable. Without these , the fire of anger would be lit in everyone’s heart; spread on every corner of the society; in the end burn out the entire social harmony. Criticizing and questioning are just the way to prevent it. With it scientists can be cognizant of what the society needs to make progress; With it political leaders can be aware of what the citizens need essentially; With all these preceding discussion, everyone of us know that [there exists a brighter future presenting not too far away from us.][要保证老外有这样的用法哦] According to a recent investigation, implemented by Historical Department of Paderborn UGH, a university in German, 93% , approximately, subversions of regime are caused by the banning of criticizing and questioning. The investigation reveals in its remarks a universal truth that one is almost not able to find evidence that criticizing and questioning can jeopardize the social harmony, indeed invariably create it.

In conclusion, in view of the complexity of the issue, it must be explained that these reasons sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole, thus becoming increasingly persuasive than any one of them.[又一个新东方孙远句型,和开头呼应^_^小心考试时没人和你写一样的] So, any thinking person must believe that criticizing and question as a way to seek common ground while reserving existing differences is always conducive to promoting the social harmony.

sblbaslerUID: 175229

谢过楼上的了。