Argument9 欢迎砸砖!谢啦

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Argument 9 The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
'Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors.'


outline
1. the dean unfairly assumes that the evaluation of the professor by students accounts for the improvement of the grades.
2.the dean confuses cause-and-effect relationship with a mere temporal sequence between the rise of the grades in Omega University and their graduates' inseccess of getting jobs when they are contracted with the Alpha University.
3. the dean assumes that terminating student evaluation of professor is the only available solution to help its graduates to get better jobs, but there is no sufficient evidence.

正文

Argument 9

The dean concludes that to enable the graduates of Omega University to secure better jobs, they should now terminate students evaluation of professors. In support the conclusion the dean points out that the evaluation of the professor by student makes professors give higher grades and the inflation of the grades contribute to their graduates' insuccess of getting jobs contracted with nearby Alpha University. The Argument appears plausible, at the first glance, however, strict scrutiny reveals that it is unconvincing.

In the first places, the dean unfairly assumes that the evaluation of the professor by students accounts for the improvement of the grades. However, the dean provides no evidence to support that this is the case, nor does the dean establish a causal relationship between the evaluation of professor by students and the rise of the grades. It is highly possible that other factors might contribute to the rise. For instance, the improvement of the academic performances of Omega students, they indeed should obtain the deserved higher grades. Professor in the Omega University spend more time on the teaching or the quality of the teaching become better, and then students learn more form their teachers and perform well in their academic activities. It is likely that 15 years ago the professor give the lower grades to their students than other university, because some reasons they realize that they should give the students higher grades to enable their grades equal the students' in other university, which is responsible for the rise of grades in Omega University in the past 15 years.


Secondly, the dean confuses cause-and-effect relationship with a mere temporal sequence between the rise of the grades in Omega University and their graduates' inseccess of getting jobs when they are contracted with the Alpha University. A significant temporal relation between two events is one indication of a causal relationship between them. However, it per se does not suffice to prove such a relationship. It is possible that other factors might have caused the insuccess of getting jobs. Maybe Alpha University is a famous University, and its graduates consequentially and easily get jobs. It is likely that Alpha University implements some measure to help their graduates to perform well when job-hunting, for example, some course about job-hunting and skills of interview. There is no evidence that the professor in Alpha University give their students lower grades which contribute to their success in job-hunting. Unless the dean also consider and eliminates all other plausible causes of the graduates of Omega University insuccess of getting job, the argument is vulnerable to criticism.

Last but not least the dean assumes that terminating student evaluation of professor is the only available solution to help its graduates to get better jobs, but there is no sufficient evidence. As we all know getting better jobs is related to some factors such as the skills of interview, the information of job market and the ability of their graduates when they work. The dean does not persuade that terminating the evaluation of professor can bring the success of getting better jobs. Moreover the dean ignores the positive effect of the evaluation of professor by students. It is possible that evaluation of professor can promote their faculty to inspect themselves and improve their teaching work. If they terminate the evaluation of professor, they will lose the supervisory effect for teaching.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To bolster the dean would have to provide the evidence that (1) the evaluation of professor by students is responsible for students' rise of the grades (2) the inflate of grades in the Omega University accounts for their graduates' insuccess of getting jobs contracted with Alpha University (3)terminating the evaluation of professor by students can availably lead the better job-hunting of their graduates.

peipei_fayUID: 163182

不要沉, 不要沉,谢谢砸砖,拍我者回拍!

peipei_fayUID: 163182

不要沉,不要沉,拍我者必回拍

qiwei0420UID: 170136

Argument 9

The dean concludes that to enable the graduates of Omega University to secure better jobs, they should now terminate students evaluation of professors. In support the conclusion the dean points out that the evaluation of the professor by student makes professors give higher grades and the inflation of the grades contribute to their graduates' insuccess of getting jobs contracted with nearby Alpha University(这个地方看着别扭). The Argument appears plausible, at the first glance（这句话是不是应该放在前面好一点？）, however, strict scrutiny reveals that it is unconvincing.

In the first places, the dean unfairly assumes that the evaluation of the professor by students accounts for the improvement of the grades. However, the dean provides no evidence to support that this is the case, nor does the dean establish a causal relationship between the evaluation of professor by students and the rise of the grades. It is highly possible that other factors might contribute to the rise. For instance, the improvement of the academic performances of Omega students, they indeed should obtain the deserved higher grades. Professor in the Omega University spend more time on the teaching or the quality of the teaching become better, and then students learn more form their teachers and perform well in their academic activities. (another reason,)It is likely that 15 years ago the professor give(gave) the lower grades to their students than other university(这里是时间和学校比吗？), because some reasons they realize that they should give the students higher grades to enable their grades equal the students' in other university, which is responsible for the rise of grades in Omega University in the past 15 years.


Secondly（这个是不是要和第一段的对应啊？in the second places?）, the dean confuses cause-and-effect relationship with a mere temporal sequence between the rise of the grades in Omega University and their graduates' inseccess(insuccess) of getting jobs when they are contracted with the Alpha University. A significant temporal relation between two events is one indication of a causal relationship between them. However, it per se does not suffice to prove such a relationship. It is possible that other factors might have caused the insuccess of getting jobs. Maybe Alpha University is a famous University, and its graduates consequentially and easily get jobs. It is likely that Alpha University implements some measure(s) to help their graduates to perform well when job-hunting, for example, some course(s) about job-hunting and skills of interview. There is no evidence that the professor in Alpha University give their students lower grades which contribute to their success in job-hunting. Unless the dean also consider and eliminates all other plausible causes of the graduates of Omega University insuccess of getting job, the argument is vulnerable to criticism.

Last but not least(我觉得这些都要对应才行) the dean assumes that terminating student evaluation of professor is the only available solution to help its graduates to get better jobs, but there is no sufficient evidence. As we all know getting better jobs is related to some factors such as the skills of interview, the information of job market and the ability of their graduates when they work. The dean does not persuade that terminating the evaluation of professor can bring the success of getting better jobs. Moreover the dean ignores the positive effect of the evaluation of professor by students. It is possible that evaluation of professor can promote their faculty to inspect themselves and improve their teaching work. If they terminate the evaluation of professor, they will lose the supervisory effect for teaching.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To bolster（，） the dean would have to provide the evidence that (1) the evaluation of professor by students is responsible for students' rise of the grades (2) the inflate of grades in the Omega University accounts for their graduates' insuccess of getting jobs contracted with Alpha University (3)terminating the evaluation of professor by students can availably lead the better job-hunting of their graduates.

不好意思，我的水平也一般哈，只能给你看个大概，我觉得你的用词都很好，给点建议，我们相互切磋哈，别忘了改改我的那个哈！

PsychocandyUID: 171159

The dean concludes that to enable the graduates of Omega University to secure better jobs, they should now terminate students evaluation of professors. In support the conclusion the dean points out that the evaluation of the professor by student makes professors give higher grades and the inflation of the grades contribute to their graduates' insuccess of getting jobs contracted with CONTRACTED WITH感觉有问题，用IN CONTRAST WITH/TO肯定保险nearby Alpha University. The Argument appears plausible, at the first glance, however, strict scrutiny reveals that it is unconvincing.AT FIRST GLANCE前面不用句号，用BUT比较通顺，The Argument appears plausible at first glance, BUT strict scrutiny reveals that it is unconvincing.

In the first places, 我感觉是PLACEthe dean unfairly assumes that the evaluation of the professor by students accounts for the improvement of the grades. However, the dean provides no evidence to support that this is the case, nor does the dean establish a causal relationship between the evaluation of professor by students and the rise of the grades. It is highly HIGHLY这个词好，以后我也用possible that other factors might contribute to the rise. For instance, the improvement of the academic performances of Omega students, they indeed should obtain the deserved higher grades. Professor in前面加点东西要不然这句太突兀 the Omega University spend more time on the 这里可以不要THEteaching or the quality of the teaching become better, and then students learn more form their teachers and perform well 这里用BETTER和前面的比较级一致in their academic activities. It is likely that 15 years ago the professor give the 这个THE 可以不要lower grades to their students than other university, because some reasons 该成FOR SOME REASONS比较通顺they realize that they should give the students higher grades to enable their grades equal the students' 这句看着别扭，改成TO BE EQUAL TO凑合in other university, which is responsible for the rise of grades in Omega University in the past 15 years.


Secondly, the dean confuses cause-and-effect relationship with a mere temporal高级词，赞 sequence between the rise of the grades in Omega University and their graduates' inseccess of getting jobs when they are contracted with the Alpha University. A significant temporal relation between two events is one indication of a causal relationship between them. However, it per se does not suffice to prove such a relationship. It is possible that other factors might have caused the insuccess of getting jobs. Maybe Alpha University is a famous University, and its graduates consequentially and easily get jobs. 这两句之间有个过度，比如ALSO什么的It is likely that Alpha University implements some measure MEASURE看不懂啊，是不是METHODSto help their graduates to perform well when job-hunting, for example, some courseCOURSES about job-hunting and skills of interview. There is no evidence that the professor in Alpha University give their students lower grades which contribute to their success in job-hunting. Unless the dean also consider and eliminates all other plausible causes of the graduates of Omega UniversityOMEGA UNIVERSITY‘S insuccess of getting job, the argument is vulnerable to criticism.

Last but not least the dean assumes that terminating student evaluation of professor is the only available solution to help its graduates to get better jobs, but there is no sufficient evidence. As we all know getting better jobs is related to some factors such as the skills of interview, the information of job market and the ability of their graduates when they work. The dean does not persuade that terminating the evaluation of professor can bring the success of getting better jobs. Moreover the dean ignores the positive effect of the evaluation of professor by students. It is possible that evaluation of professor can promote their faculty to inspect themselves and improve their teaching work. If they terminate the evaluation of professor, they will lose the supervisory effect for teaching.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To bolster 得BOLSTER STH，BOLSTER是及物的the dean would have to provide the evidence that (1) the evaluation of professor by students is responsible for students' rise of the grades (2) the inflateINFLATION of grades in the Omega University accounts for their graduates' insuccess of getting jobs contracted with Alpha University (3)terminating the evaluation of professor by students can availably lead the better job-hunting of their graduates.


总感觉INSUCCESS别扭，也问楼下的大峡应该是什么，觉得FAILURE意思就有变化了。

大面上的我也不懂，也就能帮着看看语法什么的。


我自己的ARGU 6还没人改呢，大家也帮着看看PSYCHOCANDY的ARGU 6吧！

peipei_fayUID: 163182

谢谢二位了, 以后多多切磋哦