issue 93 行为类，欢迎拍砖，有拍必应，谢谢~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

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The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
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Is people's behavior largely determined by forces from the societies not of their own making? I do not fully agree. In my opinion, this is a case to case argument. Often individuals do something voluntarily, meanwhile in some situations societies should hold them accountable for their actions.

Sometimes people's behavior is determined by their interests that they are willing to do. For example, Stephen Hawking, a world-famous scientist, devotes his whole life to the research in astronomy. Though he is suffering great pain and much inconvenience due to his physical condition, he is still enthusiastic in the outer space. His book, a Brief of Time History, provides an easily comprehensible explanation of the origin of the space, which is very popular throughout the world. However the society puts no stresses on him, what he has achieved is resulted from his interests in astronomy. Another vivid example is Einstein. When he was still a bank clerk he spent his working hours and whole spare time calculating various formulas even on the newspaper while at work, which help him to accomplish the Nobel Prize in the end. Nobody pushed him and the reason that he kept calculating day and night is that he was engaging in his interests. Thus, in some cases individuals’ behavior is determined by their interests.

It is quite often that individuals do something due to their humanity instead of the stresses from communities. Take Mother Teresa, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, as an example. She dedicated her whole lifetime to help the poorest people in India. She donated all her savings and set up several monasteries to help the Indian people, thus gaining her the name “Saint of The Gutters”. Mother Teresa spent her lifetime to help the poor thanks to her humanity and mercy and she wanted to do so voluntarily not the responsibility from society. Furthermore, Mandela, whose lifelong dedication to the fight against racial oppression in South Africa, also won him the Nobel Peace Prize. Kept in prison for more than a quarter century he is revered everywhere as vital role in the fights for human rights and racial equality. It is not the society’s stresses to make Mandela achieve such an accomplishment. He believed that it was his responsibility to do so. Therefore, sometimes humanity is the impetus for individuals’ behavior.

Admittedly, usually societies should hold individuals accountable for their own behaviors. For example, everybody who has a profession should pay taxes to society. By doing so, the society can use the money to do something beneficial for the inhabitants, such as the construction of subways which make it convenient for residents to go out, and parks, which provide green areas for people to relax. However, without the limitation of laws individuals may not pay taxes and result them in less advantage from the society. Also if people did not follow the traffic rules there would be hundreds of accidents or permanent traffic jam. Hence, individuals' behavior should be determined by the forces from societies to some extent.

To sum up, people's behavior is not largely determined by forces from societies. In some cases individuals may behave thanks to their interests and humanity without the pressures of society. However, in some situations the society should also hold individuals responsible for their actions by some particular laws or rules for the good of both of them.

感觉自己写得很累，感觉要枯竭了：（，呵呵，请指教~~~

花之颜色UID: 187195

Is people's behavior largely determined by forces from the societies not of their own making? I do not fully agree. In my opinion, this is a case to case argument. Often individuals do something voluntarily, meanwhile in [U]some[/U] 用these感觉和上句衔接较好 situations societies should hold them accountable for their actions.

Sometimes people's behavior is determined by their interests that they are willing to do. For example, Stephen Hawking, a world-famous scientist, devotes his whole life to the research in astronomy. Though he is suffering great pain and much inconvenience due to his physical condition, he is still enthusiastic in the outer space. His book, a Brief of Time History, provides an easily comprehensible explanation of the origin of the space, which is very popular throughout the world. However the society puts no stresses on him, what he has achieved is resulted from his interests in astronomy. Another vivid example is Einstein. When he was still a bank clerk he spent his working hours and whole spare time calculating various formulas even on the newspaper while at work, which help him to accomplish the Nobel Prize in the end. Nobody pushed him and the reason that he kept calculating day and night is that he was engaging in his interests. Thus, in some cases individuals’ behavior is determined by their interests.

It is quite often that individuals do something due to their humanity instead of the stresses from communities. Take Mother Teresa, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, as an example. She dedicated her whole lifetime [U]to [/U] 介词，后面用动名词 help the poorest people in India. She donated all her savings and set up several monasteries to help the Indian people, thus gaining her the name “Saint of The Gutters”. Mother Teresa spent her lifetime to help the poor thanks to her humanity and mercy and she wanted to do so voluntarily not the responsibility from society. Furthermore, Mandela, whose lifelong dedication to the fight against racial oppression in South Africa, also won him the Nobel Peace Prize. Kept in prison for more than a quarter century he is revered everywhere as vital role in the fights for human rights and racial equality. It is not the society’s stresses to make Mandela achieve such an accomplishment. He believed that it was his responsibility to do so. Therefore, sometimes humanity is the impetus for individuals’ behavior.
例子真多,佩服佩服,学习学习

Admittedly, usually societies should [U]hold[/U] [似乎用force较好] individuals accountable for their own behaviors. For example, everybody who has a profession should pay taxes to society. By doing so, the society can use the money to do something beneficial for the inhabitants, such as the construction of subways which make it convenient for residents to go out, and parks, which provide green areas for people to relax. However, without the limitation of laws individuals may not pay taxes and result them in less advantage from the society. Also if people did not follow the traffic rules there would be hundreds of accidents or permanent traffic jam. Hence, individuals' behavior should be determined by the forces from societies to some extent.似乎应该挖掘一下在哪些情况下为什么社会必须强制执行个人责任?比如由于人们不自觉啊,人性中的缺陷什么的,可以从前两段相反的角度写,这样似乎比较深刻一点,仅供参考

To sum up, people's behavior is not largely determined by forces from societies. In some cases individuals may behave thanks to their interests and humanity without the pressures of society. However, in some situations the society should also hold individuals responsible for their actions by some particular laws or rules for the good of both of them.
感觉前两段写的比较好， 这种思路给了我不少启示,学习~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢花之颜色的意见，我也觉得body 3有点问题，你的意见给了我很大的启发：）

fengboallanUID: 157405

本身就是一个很难写的文章，考试要抽到这个，呵呵，当场晕倒
我拍人，一定狠
谅解
拍错了，共同探讨

Is people's behavior largely determined by forces from the societies not of their own making? I do not fully agree. In my opinion, this is a case to case argument. 这一句有点绕嘴Often individuals do something voluntarily, meanwhile in some situations这里用单数，是某种情况 societies should hold them accountable for their actions.

Sometimes people's behavior is determined by their interests that they are willing to do.这句完了，TS之后要议论一番再举例 For example, Stephen Hawking, a world-famous scientist, devotes his whole life to the research in astronomy. Though he is suffering great pain and much inconvenience due to his physical condition, he is still enthusiastic in the outer space. His book, a Brief of Time History, provides an easily comprehensible explanation of the origin of the space, which is very popular throughout the world. However the society puts no stresses on him, what he has achieved is resulted from his interests in astronomy. Another vivid example is Einstein. When he was still a bank clerk he spent his working hours and whole spare time calculating various formulas even on the newspaper while at work, which help him to accomplish the Nobel Prize in the end. Nobody pushed him and the reason that he kept calculating day and night is that he was engaging in his interests. Thus, in some cases individuals’ behavior is determined by their interests.霍金的例子太过detail了，没人关注他什么背景，干了啥事。简单一说，主要是例子必须对论点支持。你仅仅的例子的罗列，根本没有分析阿。这段必须改一下。两个例子都改，然后加论述，论一下例子和论点的关系

It is quite often that individuals do something due to their humanity instead of the stresses from communities. Take Mother Teresa, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, as an example. She dedicated her whole lifetime to help the poorest people in India. She donated all her savings and set up several monasteries to help the Indian people, thus gaining her the name “Saint of The Gutters”. Mother Teresa spent her lifetime to help the poor thanks to her humanity and mercy and she wanted to do so voluntarily not the responsibility from society. Furthermore, Mandela, whose lifelong dedication to the fight against racial oppression in South Africa, also won him the Nobel Peace Prize. Kept in prison for more than a quarter century he is revered everywhere as vital role in the fights for human rights and racial equality. It is not the society’s stresses to make Mandela achieve such an accomplishment. He believed that it was his responsibility to do so. Therefore, sometimes humanity is the impetus for individuals’ behavior.和上一段问题一样，议论太少

Admittedly, usually societies should hold individuals accountable for their own behaviors. For example, everybody who has a profession should pay taxes to society. By doing so, the society can use the money to do something beneficial for the inhabitants, such as the construction of subways which make it convenient for residents to go out, and parks, which provide green areas for people to relax. However, without the limitation of laws individuals may not pay taxes and result them in less advantage from the society. Also if people did not follow the traffic rules there would be hundreds of accidents or permanent traffic jam. Hence, individuals' behavior should be determined by the forces from societies to some extent.
这一段的论述还可以。起码有了
To sum up, people's behavior is not largely determined by forces from societies. In some cases individuals may behave thanks to their interests and humanity without the pressures of society. However, in some situations the society should also hold individuals responsible for their actions by some particular laws or rules for the good of both of


你的语言上我觉得问题不多了
这种水准足够应付GRE，当然前提你不是奔着6分

这篇文章最大的问题在于论述方面
写文章分两种
1限时
2提高水平和思路的
限时的文章，思路和论述你要是写成这样我理解，因为能抓到什么就写什么了。呵呵，这种限时的文章，有时候想修改都难。因为，是一篇没法修改的文章

如果你是不限时就有问题了
首先
你考虑了分论点，但你没考虑分论点的支撑问题

例子有了，没有论述
就会让人很空


你实在用英文不行，就用中文
想明白了翻译一下，

或者看看范文
别人写的，然后咱们给他改成自己的话。
这种难写的，写完一个少一个
看别人的也无妨。


这个你再想办法加加论述就应该没问题了

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢fengboallan的意见，我是限时写的，看了你的意见，感到的确有许多不足之处，写的时候，感觉想论述的时候思考句子要半天，担心来不及，所以多写例子了。：）

likeying27UID: 195699

Is people's behavior largely determined by forces from the societies not of their own making? I do not fully agree. In my opinion, this is a case to case[U](case-by-case) [/U]  argument. Often individuals do something voluntarily, meanwhile[U](,) [/U]  in some situations [U](,)[/U] societies should hold them accountable for their actions.

Sometimes people's behavior is determined by their interests that they are willing to do. For example, Stephen Hawking, a world-famous scientist, devotes his whole life to the research in astronomy. Though he is suffering great pain and much inconvenience due to his physical condition, he is still enthusiastic in the outer space. His book, a Brief of Time History, provides an easily comprehensible explanation of the origin of the space, which is very popular throughout the world. However the society puts no stresses on him, what he has achieved is resulted from his interests in astronomy. Another vivid example is Einstein. When he was still a bank clerk he spent his working hours and whole spare time calculating various formulas even on the newspaper while at work, which help him to accomplish the Nobel Prize in the end. Nobody pushed him and the reason that he kept calculating day and night is that he was engaging in his interests. Thus, in some cases individuals’ behavior is determined by their interests.[U]个人行为是兴趣造成的[/U]  

It is quite often that individuals do something due to their humanity instead of the stresses from communities. Take Mother Teresa, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, as an example. She dedicated her whole lifetime to help the poorest people in India. She donated all her savings and set up several monasteries to help the Indian people, thus gaining her the name “Saint of The Gutters”. Mother Teresa spent her lifetime to help the poor thanks to her humanity and mercy and she wanted to do so voluntarily not the responsibility from society. Furthermore, Mandela, whose lifelong dedication to the fight against racial oppression in South Africa, also won him the Nobel Peace Prize. Kept in prison for more than a quarter century he is revered everywhere as vital role in the fights for human rights and racial equality. It is not the society’s stresses to make Mandela achieve such an accomplishment. He believed that it was his responsibility to do so. Therefore, sometimes humanity is the impetus for individuals’ behavior. [U]个人行为是人性造成的[/U]

Admittedly, usually societies should hold individuals accountable for their own behaviors. For example, everybody who has a [U]profession（就是job就好了）[/U]  should pay taxes to society. By doing so, the society can use the money to do something beneficial for the inhabitants, such as the construction of subways[U]（，）[/U]  which make it convenient for residents to go out[U]（and back）, [/U]  and parks, which provide green areas for people to relax. However, [U]without the limitation of laws（without compelling laws） [/U]  individuals may not pay taxes and result them in less advantage from the society. Also if people did not follow the traffic rules there would be hundreds of accidents or permanent traffic [U]jam（s）. [/U]  Hence, individuals' behavior should be determined by the forces from societies to some extent. [U]个人行为一定程度上也应由社会规范[/U]
To sum up, people's behavior is not largely determined by forces from societies. In some cases individuals may behave thanks to their interests and humanity without the pressures of society. However, in some situations the society should also hold individuals responsible for their actions by some particular laws or rules for the good of both of them.
应该比我写的好~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

非常感谢likeying27的意见，都记下了：），有些细节改的很仔细呢~~~