Issue61 Nobel Prize利弊呵呵~这篇感觉还不错,谁给泼点凉水?

花之颜色UID: 187195

------题目------
High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition.
提纲：
1不是所有人都能得奖
2得奖不会不利社会
3得奖对社会发展的促进
------正文------
Are high-profile awards always detrimental to our society or nation? Will it be better to grant as many people as possible the Nobel Prize? Obviously, the answer is not.

To begin with, it is certainly true that not every person deserve such precious honors. In fact, the Nobel Prize is considered to be the supreme recognition rather than just a high prize in certain fields such as medical science, literature, physics etc, and should not be granted easily without repeated scrutiny and scrupulous evaluation. To win such a glory, one should make outstanding enough achievements, which enormously benefit either the society as a whole or the academic development. As we all know, only the most talented people with great perseverance and good luck can climb up to the peak of science, humanities or social science. And due to the chanciness of research, the opportunity leading to amazing discoveries is even slimmer. Compared with the people who have devoted themselves completely to exploration and creation, and spent a large amount of time and energy on their studies, common ones, who zealously pursue personal fame and fortune at work and waste the rest life on entertainment, of course should not receive such laurels. Or else, the honor itself would be devalued and it is as well unfair for the diligent ones.

Someone may still insist that the limitation on the qualification to win the high-profile awards will discourage other people's enthusiasm and confidence to fulfill the seemingly impossible mission. This apprehension is not necessary at all. For one thing, most people do researches not for the sake of the awards but to meet their own interests or curiosities. For these people, the findings alone or the process of make creations is just the best prize, while the material awards and subsequent fame are taken as the by-products, and sometimes even the disturbance, which interferes with their concentration on their favorite researches. The case that Mrs. Curie gave her medals, which many populaces are earnestly longing for, to her daughter as a valueless toy, aptly illustrates this point. For another thing, people who easily quit won't be successful in any field and consequently there is no necessity to grant the prize to these mediocre ones.

In reality, the high-profile awards benefit the society in general. The fame of the honor itself can function as the best advertisement of the awarded theories. By this propaganda, the public is familiar with these profound principles to some extent, which gives impetus to the circulation of these theories and improves the quality of all the citizens. Furthermore, the people granted awards will be encouraged to go on their studies with greater zeal, and meanwhile the ones who have not won such honors will work even harder with the hope of savoring the same success one day. Both results serve as a tonic to social development. Moreover, the funds from government and investment from various organizations will be attracted to subsidize the prizewinners’ researches, which further boost the academic advancement.

To sum up, because of the great advantages provided by the limits on the qualification of prizewinners, we should keep the high-profile awards rare as usual.

指向大海UID: 158737

Are high-profile awards always detrimental to our society or nation? Will it be better to grant as many people as possible the Nobel Prize? Obviously, the answer is not.[开头过于简单]

To begin with, it is certainly true that not every person deserve such precious honors. In fact, the Nobel Prize is considered to be the supreme recognition rather than just a high prize in certain fields such as medical science, literature, physics etc, and should not be granted easily without repeated scrutiny and scrupulous evaluation. To win such a glory, one should make outstanding enough[去了,不用] achievements, which enormously benefit either the society as a whole or the academic development. As we all know, only the most talented[其实还是和努力有关爱因斯坦说他不聪明] people with great perseverance and good luck can climb up to the [peak of science][要保证英语又这种用法], humanities or social science. And due to the chanciness of research, the opportunity leading to amazing discoveries is even slimmer. Compared with the people who have devoted themselves completely to exploration and creation, and spent a large amount of time and energy on their studies, common ones, who zealously pursue personal fame and fortune at work and waste the rest life on entertainment, of course should not receive such laurels. Or else, the honor itself would be devalued and it is as well unfair for the diligent ones.

Someone may still insist that the limitation on the qualification to win the high-profile awards will discourage other people's enthusiasm and confidence to fulfill the seemingly impossible mission. This apprehension is not necessary at all. For one thing, most people do researches not for the sake of the awards but to meet their own interests or curiosities. For these people, the findings alone or the process of make creations is just the best prize, while the material awards and subsequent fame are taken as the by-products, and sometimes even the disturbance, which interferes with their concentration on their favorite researches. The case that Mrs. Curie gave her medals, which many populaces are earnestly longing for, to her daughter as a valueless toy, aptly illustrates this point. For another thing, people who easily quit won't be successful in any field and consequently there is no necessity to grant the prize to these mediocre ones.[这段像那么回事,有进步]

In reality, the high-profile awards benefit the society in general. The fame of the honor itself can function as the best advertisement of the awarded theories. By this propaganda, the public is familiar with these profound principles to some extent, which gives impetus to the circulation of these theories and improves the quality of all the citizens. Furthermore, the people granted awards will be encouraged to go on their studies with greater zeal, and meanwhile the ones who have not won such honors will work even harder with the hope of savoring the same success one day. Both results serve as a tonic to social development. Moreover, the funds from government and investment from various organizations will be attracted to subsidize the prizewinners’ researches, which further boost the academic advancement.

To sum up, because of the great advantages provided by the limits on the qualification of prizewinners, we should keep the high-profile awards rare as usual.[结尾也太简单]

[挖掘的不够深,给你贴两个满分上的提纲
oppose,
1. The purpose of high-profile awards such as Nobel Prize is to encourage people who have great contributions to human in specified fields.It is too narrow to see this issue just because most people in society can't get this kind of awards.
2. Since high-profile awards stimulste people to develop or creat more issues which are helpful to human beings, how can these awards be treated to damage to society?
3. Every kind of award has its own purpose.If society needs more money to help those poor people, there are many philanthropic foundations in society.
4. In conclusion, people should realize the purpose of high-profile awards are for.Awards which few people can get doesn't mean that it is damaging to society.


Reject:
1. high-profile awards encourage people to pursue their career
2. the fact that only a few people deserve such recognition does not depress or frustrate average people, but help them to better understand and orient themselves in the society
3. high-profile awards often tend to give those who have done much with relatively less profit what they deserve.]

sblbaslerUID: 175229

[B]回拍[/B]
Are high-profile awards always detrimental to our society or nation? Will it be better to grant as many people as possible the Nobel Prize? Obviously, the answer is not.

To begin with, it is certainly true that not every person deserve[B][/B]  such precious honors. In fact, the Nobel Prize is considered to be the supreme recognition rather than just a high prize in certain fields such as medical science, literature, physics etc[B][好象在哪看过（孙远的书，好象）说不要用这种缩写][/B] , and should not be granted easily without repeated scrutiny and scrupulous evaluation. To win such a glory, one should make outstanding enough achievements, which enormously benefit either the society as a whole or the academic development. As we all know, only the most talented people with great perseverance and good luck can climb up to the peak of science, humanities or social science. And due to the chanciness of research, the opportunity leading to amazing discoveries is even slimmer. Compared with the people who have devoted themselves completely to exploration and creation, and spent a large amount of time and energy on their studies, common ones, who zealously pursue personal fame and fortune at work and waste the rest life on entertainment, of course should not receive such laurels. Or else, the honor itself would be devalued and it is as well unfair for the diligent ones.
[B]我觉得你如果把这段的中心改为“把获奖人群扩大是不现实的”要比“不是每个人都可以获奖”更support中心一点（虽然也不深刻）。仔细想想你的“不是每个人都可以获奖”的TS和中心没什么关系呀，at best关系不大，说服力不强，[/B]
Someone may still insist that the limitation on the qualification to win the high-profile awards will discourage other people's enthusiasm and confidence to fulfill the seemingly impossible mission. This apprehension is not necessary at all. For one thing, most people do researches not for the sake of the awards but to meet their own interests or curiosities. For these people, the findings alone or the process of make creations is just the best prize, while the material awards and subsequent fame are taken as the by-products, and sometimes even the disturbance, which interferes with their concentration on their favorite researches. The case that Mrs. Curie gave her medals, which many populaces are earnestly longing for, to her daughter as a valueless toy, aptly illustrates this point. For another [B][the other][/B] thing, people who easily quit won't be successful in any field and consequently there is no necessity to grant the prize to these mediocre ones.

In reality, the high-profile awards benefit the society in general. The fame of the honor itself can function as the best advertisement of the awarded theories. By this propaganda, the public is familiar with these profound principles to some extent, which gives impetus to the circulation of these theories and improves the quality of all the citizens. Furthermore, the people granted awards will be encouraged to go on their studies with greater zeal, and meanwhile the ones who have not won such honors will work even harder with the hope of savoring the same success one day. Both results serve as a tonic to social development. Moreover, the funds from government and investment from various organizations will be attracted to subsidize the prizewinners’ researches, which further boost the academic advancement.

To sum up, because of the great advantages provided by the limits on the qualification of prizewinners, we should keep the high-profile awards rare as usual.
[B]首先，感觉语言虽然没什么错误，有的词也用的比较陌生（估计是刻意用的吧），但句式似乎单调了一些，让人看起来没有一种跌宕起伏的感觉，也就缺乏了说服力。其次，正如楼上所说的，论证的深度不够，就是没有说服力，而且很vital 的一点就是例子太少，总是再说理，事实在在的例子好象就是那个居里夫人的吧，我觉得你 可以在讨论对社会的推动的那一段用排比把一些对社会起推动作用的发明写上去（要获奖的，可以用without....，without....,)感觉上这样更persuasive一些 个人愚见，希望继续交流[/B]

花之颜色UID: 187195

呵呵~两桶凉水把俺浇醒~继续努力~谢谢两位!

花之颜色UID: 187195

两位的意见很有启发~不过,偶的B1主要是驳它的前提,就是because那部分啊~为什么和中心无关呢?B2B3驳的是结论嘛~For another thing,没问题,大家都在用,呵呵~句式单调是老毛病,老是想不起来用倒装什么的,以后一定注意!

fengboallanUID: 157405

花花

你那篇Issue
已经有两个人了
我看我就不用详细发言了



我觉得他们说得挺好了。
有一个问题就是我遇到这类的问题喜欢分析的讨论

分论点我觉得应该是：

为什么有少数人的讲就是坏处----〉举出少数人的讲的优点及诺贝尔奖的地位-----〉接着是海哥的满分提纲


你的最大的一个问题：三个分论点论述的一个方面的问题
（2得奖不会不利社会）取非=3得奖对社会发展的促进

而范文论点的与你最的区别在于着实的从三个方面论述。
你的没有真正的分析问题
只是绕着少数人的讲的优点笼统的说来说去。
当然我可能说得不对


语言上我给不了太大意见
比我好得多


觉得有很大的进步
不过给美女提个醒

GRE永远都不是考语言的考试
不用太过注意你的文彩和词汇
最主要的是思维
你的论述过程


不过我觉得你的语言拿5分没问题了

前提是论述的思维正确清晰

指向大海UID: 158737

fengbo我觉得你的观点有错误,GRE北美学生和我们一样考,如果阅卷老师看我们的文章如同中国中文老师看小学生错误百出幼稚的语言的文章会好受么?语言要尽可能地道!

legendhfwangUID: 191674

In reality, the high-profile awards benefit the society in general. The fame of the honor itself can function as the best advertisement of the awarded theories. By this propaganda, the public is familiar with these profound principles to some extent, which gives impetus to the circulation of these theories and improves the quality of all the citizens感觉这句话有点中国英语的味道. Furthermore, the people granted awards will be encouraged to go on their studies with greater zeal, and meanwhile the ones who have not won such honors will work even harder with the hope of savoring the same success one day. Both results serve as a tonic to social development. Moreover, the funds from government and investment from various organizations will be attracted to subsidize the prizewinners’ researches, which further boost the academic advancement.
在用了很多被动以后，是不是变一下主动，尽管老外爱用被动句。
再就是开头和结尾都太slim了，开头没有很好的说明论点，结尾没有照应开头。

但是总体来说确实是个好文。
这是我第一次该作文，如果有的地方说的不对，还请不要在意啊，呵呵

花之颜色UID: 187195

反正偶是出了名的没逻辑~唉