issue61 仔细改过了可是觉得逻辑还是有问题

louchen1984UID: 172975

61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."

Do high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize damage to society? The speaker claims so, as he implies that such awards limit the number of people who can be highly praised, and actually damage to society. I can not agree with the speaker, in that the benefit of these high-profile outweighs the damage, and the limited number of prizewinner does make sense.

First of all, both the justice and benefits of such high-profile awards encourage people to devote themselves whole-heartedly to their goals, thus advance the development of society. In the first place, people who evaluate the candidates are esteemed authorities and experts in a certain realm, also the process of judgment adheres to strict and serious discussion and review. As a result, people who are awarded prizes are outstanding individuals whose accomplishment has actually contributed a lot to the mankind. This tells us that if we work hard and be willing to assist others, we will be evaluated fairly and be recognized by society someday. Even though most people are not capable of winning a high-profile prize because of the constrain of opportunities or personal talents, they understand the concept that only through consistent effort can they get ahead in life and obtain the respect from people around, which will benefit the society a lot, rather than undermine it. In the second place, the abundant and attracting prize of these high-profile awards encourages people to pursue the truth of the world, to explore the unknown, and to appeal for a peaceful planet. For example, the highest international award--Nobel Prize, awarded each year, brings the highest reputation to the most excellent scientists or writers for their great achievement in physics, biology and medicine, chemistry, literature, as well as to people who promote the peace of the world. Through this way, scientists and writers are paid both mentally and materially, also the recognition and reputation they win will bring about them more financial sposors to promote their career, which in turn faciliate them to better service society. In short, such high-profile awards benefit the society for they rewarded those who actually merit the reputation and tell the world the worthiness of personal endeavor and a passion for one's career.

Admittedly, if the prizewinner becomes so pround of what he has achieved that he neglects others' advice and stops working hard after receiving the prize, he will probably stop there and make no more progress. Or if many people treat winning prize as the only objective in life without taking their abilities into account, or they become so obsessed with fame and fortune that try every means to gain them, even sacrifice the interests of others. In such cases the awards serve more a negative function than a positive one.

Secondly, although only a few people can receive such awards, it does not amount to the neglection of those who are not yet awarded. Since human nature inclines to treasure the rare things while take as granted the common ones, it is the very limited number of prizewinners that represents the high value of the prizes and therefore inspires people to pursue their careers more enthusiastically.

In conclusion, the fact that only a few people can be awarded makes people more cherish the awards and more eager to gain them. And if we regard the awards as a motive and impetus to work harder and more passionately, the awards actually benefit the society rather than undermine it, for they propagate the worthiness of personal endeavor.

davidjackyUID: 135962

占好位置，明天贴

louchen1984UID: 172975

我有个疑问：
这题的关键到底是damage the society还是only a few people？是不是全篇都要扣住少数人和多数人得奖的区别呢？还是只要点一下就可以了？

imongUID: 140258

接到乒乓球爱上九月的通知来改这篇文章

61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."

插一句 Candor's Dilemma（诺贝尔的囚徒）看过没？Sohu上有连载 放假时候有一天晚上看到夜里两点给看完了的 蛮有意思的文章 不知道和这里有没有联系 顺口说说

Do high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize damage to（are they damaging to，这里的damage to明显是错的） society? The speaker claims so, as he implies that such awards limit the number of people who can be highly praised, and actually damage to society. I can not agree with the speaker, in that the benefit of these high-profile outweighs the damage, and the limited number of prizewinner does make sense.奇怪的表达顺序。题目应该是个1+1 这里考虑几个问题：理由是否成立（limited prize winner） 理由是否构成结论（damaging to the society） 如果说同意limited winner反对damaging，那么在这里用and恐怕就很别扭了。连词绝不是随手乱用的。

First of all, both the justice（？） and benefits of such high-profile awards encourage people to devote themselves whole-heartedly to their goals, thus advance the development of society. In the first place, people who evaluate the candidates are esteemed authorities and experts in a certain realm, also the process of judgment adheres to strict and serious discussion and review. As a result, people who are awarded prizes are outstanding individuals whose accomplishment has actually contributed a lot to the mankind. This tells us that if we work hard and be willing to assist others, we will be evaluated fairly and be recognized by society someday. Even though most people are not capable of winning a high-profile prize because of the constrain of opportunities or personal talents, they understand the concept that only through consistent effort can they get ahead in life and obtain the respect from people around,（这句话需要很大的支持 否则论点不易令人信服。Do they understand this? Do these awards propagate such a notion? How do you support this claim?） which will benefit the society a lot, rather than undermine it. In the second place, the abundant and attracting prize of these high-profile awards encourages people to pursue the truth of the world, to explore the unknown, and to appeal for a peaceful planet. For example, the highest international award--Nobel Prize, awarded each year, brings the highest reputation to the most excellent scientists or writers for their great achievement in physics, biology and medicine, chemistry, literature, as well as to people who promote the peace of the world. Through this way, scientists and writers are paid both mentally and materially, also the recognition and reputation they win will bring about them more financial sposors to promote their career, which in turn faciliate them to better service society.（论点是encourage 怎么到这里变成了therefore to facilitate？也就是没有证据来证明they are encouraged？） In short, such high-profile awards benefit the society for they rewarded those who actually merit the reputation and tell the world the worthiness of personal endeavor and a passion for one's career.

Admittedly, if the prizewinner becomes so pround of what he has achieved that he neglects others' advice and stops working hard after receiving the prize, he will probably stop there and make no more progress. Or if many people treat winning prize as the only objective in life without taking their abilities into account, or they become so obsessed with fame and fortune that try every means to gain them, even sacrifice the interests of others. In such cases the awards serve more a negative function than a positive one.

Secondly, although only a few people can receive such awards, it does not amount to the neglection of those who are not yet awarded. Since human nature inclines to treasure the rare things while take as granted the common ones, it is the very limited number of prizewinners that represents the high value of the prizes and therefore inspires people to pursue their careers more enthusiastically. （How do you testify such an inspiring effect they'll bring? And how do such inspiring effect, if truely exist, benefit the society? These questions remains circumvented.）

In conclusion, the fact that only a few people can be awarded makes people more cherish the awards and more eager to gain them. And if we regard the awards as a motive and impetus to work harder and more passionately, the awards actually benefit the society rather than undermine it, for they propagate the worthiness of personal endeavor.

是不是对这个主题没有什么深入点的认识呢？文章立论和论证都偏肤浅。
题外话的是 别把学术界想的太高尚 小时候的"科学家"早不该存在咯 不好玩的东西还真是到处都有。

haiyaUID: 187989

61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."

Do high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize damage to society? The speaker claims so, as he implies that such awards limit the number of people who can be highly praised, and actually damage to society. I can not do notagree with the speaker, in that the benefit of these high-profile outweighs the damage, and the limited number of prizewinner does make sense. 最后半句和整句话不通

First of all, both the justice and benefits of such high-profile awards encourage people to devote themselves whole-heartedly to their goals, thus advancepropel/stimulate the development of society. In the first place, people who evaluate the candidates are esteemed authorities and experts in a certain realm, 断句also the process of judgment adheres to strict and serious discussion and review. As a result, people who are awarded prizes are outstanding individuals whose accomplishment has actually contributed a lot to the mankind. This tells us that if we work hard and be willing to assist others, we will be evaluated fairly and be recognized by society someday. Even though most people are not capable of winning a high-profile prize because of the constrain of opportunities or personal talents, they understand the concept that only through consistent effort can they get ahead in life and obtain the respect from people around, which will benefit the society a lot, rather than undermine it. In the second place, the abundant and attracting prize of these high-profile awards encourages people to pursue the truth of the world, to explore the unknown, and to appeal for a peaceful planet. For example, the highest international award--Nobel Prize, awarded each year, brings the highest reputation to the most excellent scientists or writers for their great achievement in physics, biology没生物的单项 and medicine, chemistry, literature, as well as to people who promote the peace of the world. Through this way, scientists and writers are paid both mentally and materially, also the recognition and reputation they win will bring about them more financial sposors sponsorshipto promote their career, which in turn faciliate facilitate them to better service for society. In short, such high-profile awards benefit the society for they rewarded those who actually merit the reputation and tell the world the worthiness of personal endeavor and a passion for one's career. 这段是从科学家和社会整体上来讲奖对社会有利。

Admittedly, if the prizewinner becomes so pround pride of what he has achieved that he neglects others' advice and stops working hard after receiving the prize, he will probably stop there and make no more progress. Or if many people treat winning prize as the only objective in life without taking their abilities into account, or they become so obsessed with fame and fortune that try every means to gain them, even sacrifice the interests of others. In such cases the awards serve more a negative function than a positive one.

Secondly, although only a few people can receive such awards, it does not amount to the neglection ignorance of those who are not yet awarded. Since human nature inclines to treasure the rare things while take as granted the common ones, it is the very limited number of prizewinners that represents the high value of the prizes and therefore inspires people to pursue their careers more enthusiastically. 这段和b1里的第一个方面有点重复，可以归在一起从human nature再支持一下那个观点。另外作为你的理论的secondly,这段冲长度和论点上来说还没有admittedly那段丰满。独立一段感觉是硬拉出来的

In conclusion, the fact that only a few people can be awarded makes people more cherish the awards and more eager to gain them. And if we regard the awards as a motive and impetus to work harder and more passionately, the awards actually benefit the society rather than undermine it, for they propagate the worthiness of personal endeavor.

我觉得这篇就奖的好处overweighs坏处这点上并没有分析到位。而是用一个admittedly来概述了坏处。同时把好处和坏处分开写，没有比较分析，无法说服读者既然好处坏处都有，为什么好处就overweigh了呢？ 因此，对于这道题目的论点没有说清楚。在b1里的两点分析也不是特别界限分明。感觉说着说着就缠在一起了。

有些词语用的挺好的。受益了：）

Btw,抱歉，过年一直没有上网。

如果我来写，我会阐述一些不好的方面。但是无论如何，这些奖的设置是有必要的。

ouenoUID: 194212

我也来说几句吧：
1 那个firstly和secondly的关系没看得很明白
是因为1+1，就两点都要驳吗，但是这和你的主题没很大关联呀？
only a few people可以带在admittedly 中说，可能造成不公正或覆盖面不够全什么的

2 第一段说的好处好象不是很充分
一个是公平性，另一个是高额回报，例子不好举，可以说说promote competition等等

3全文段落比例好象不对称，优点可以分段列出，如果要说outweigh缺点段落就要少一些，你这篇文章好象正负各说了两点

我的水平也满烂的，随便说说 :p

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

up一下,这么多人改,不要错过拉.

louchen1984UID: 172975

看到这么多高手的点评，心里一阵激动～～～
虽然被批的体无完肤可是很高兴
1＋1的题目总觉得重心不知该放在哪里
我去好好研究一下，晚上再来改，汗～～

davidjackyUID: 135962

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=247759
No.1  issue61 仔细改过了可是觉得逻辑还是有问题
61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."

Do high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize damage to society? The speaker claims so, as【as改为since】 he implies that such awards limit the number of people【作者不是说限制人数，是说偏见，能不能改一下？】 who can be highly praised, and actually damage to society. I can not agree with the speaker, in that the benefit of these high-profile outweighs the damage, and the limited number of prizewinner does make sense.你的观点是high-profile的benefit>disadvantages.

First of all, both the justice and benefits of such high-profile awards encourage people to devote themselves whole-heartedly to their goals, thus advance【advancing】 the development of society.【TS的意思说：high-profile awards鼓励人们为了自己的目标全心全意的工作，进而推动社会的发展】 In the first place, people who evaluate the candidates 【罗嗦】are esteemed【主动就可以】 authorities and experts in a certain realm[with strong backgrounds in every realm], also the process of judgment adheres to【and the process of judgment might lead to a】 strict and serious discussion and review. 【根本接不上，说法欠妥：人们尊重权威和专家努力工作？你的TS是什么，下面一定说什么】As a result, people who are awarded prizes are outstanding individuals whose accomplishment has actually contributed a lot to the mankind. This tells us that if we work hard and be[and are] willing to assist[help] others, we will be evaluated fairly and be[be不要] recognized by society someday. Even though most people are not capable of winning a high-profile prize because of the constrain of opportunities or personal talents, they understand the concept that only through consistent effort can they get ahead in life and obtain the respect from people around, which will benefit the society a lot, rather than undermine it. In the second place, the abundant and attracting prize of these high-profile awards encourages people to pursue the truth of the world, to explore the unknown, and to appeal for a peaceful planet. For example, the highest international award--Nobel Prize, awarded each year, brings the highest reputation to the most excellent scientists or writers for their great achievement in physics, biology and medicine, chemistry, literature, as well as to people who promote the peace of the world. Through this way, scientists and writers are paid both mentally and materially, also the recognition and reputation they win will bring about them more financial sposors to promote their career, which in turn faciliate them to better service society. In short, such high-profile awards benefit the society for they rewarded those who actually merit the reputation and tell the world the worthiness of personal endeavor and a passion for one's career.

Admittedly, if the prizewinner becomes so pround of what he has achieved that he neglects others' advice and stops working hard after receiving the prize, he will probably stop there and make no more progress. Or if many people treat winning prize as the only objective in life without taking their abilities into account, or they become so obsessed with fame and fortune that try every means to gain them, even sacrifice the interests of others. In such cases the awards serve more a negative function than a positive one. [If 后面最好用Became, might等语气，进行委婉论证，整段写的很好，值得学习]

Secondly, although only a few people can receive such awards, it does not amount to the neglection of those who are not yet awarded. Since human nature inclines to treasure the rare things while take as granted the common ones, it is the very limited number of prizewinners that represents the high value of the prizes and therefore inspires people to pursue their careers more enthusiastically. [Admittedly,和secondly要注意一下顺序问题，你这里很显然不是接着第一个说的，你就用Finally好了]

In conclusion, the fact that only a few people can be awarded makes people more cherish the awards and more eager to gain them. And if we regard the awards as a motive and impetus to work harder and more passionately, the awards actually benefit the society rather than undermine it, for they propagate the worthiness of personal endeavor.
语句上没有大问题，建议好好组织一下再传上来谢谢！

louchen1984UID: 172975

我差不多重写了一遍，借鉴了所有人的意见，不过觉得结构好像还是有点问题，puzzled
谢谢imong. davidjacky, haiya, oueno的指点，还谢斑竹的支持
改后全文如下，还请大家指教：

61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."

Are high-profile awards damaging to society? The speaker claims so, as he implies that such awards recognize only a few people, which is somewhat unfair and might have negative influence to society. I do not agree with the speaker, in that the benefits provided by such high-profile awards outweigh the harmful effects they may have.

First of all, the reputation and fortune accompanied with such high-profile awards will improve the prizewinners' working conditions, which in turn encourages them to work harder. On the one hand, a large amount of premium of such high-profile awards will offer a more comfortable life for the winners, as well as enable them to purchase something essential for their work. In addition, the reputation they win will make them feel that all their endeavor and devotion is worthy. In this way, scientists and writers are paid both mentally and materially. On the other hand, in order not to abuse the given honor and to win more, the prizewinners might feel hard-pressed to step out further in his career and to contribute more to society, such feelings will drive them work more passionately. In effect, this is a win-win business, in which the prizewinners benefit from the rewards supported by society and society also benefit from their further contributions.


Secondly, the attracting benefits and limited opportunities of such awards often inspire people to pursue their careers or interests more industriously, which is good to the development of society. Understanding that only excellent individuals can gain the opportunities, people will try their best to lift their ability and talent so as to meet the high standards of the award they wish to win. While to overcome all the competitors requires one's extraordinary endeavor and strive. This process will make a person tenant and a society full of such people will become consistent and strong. What is more, as human nature inclines to treasure the rare things while take as granted the common ones, it is the very limited number of prizewinners that represents the high value of the prizes and therefore stimulates people to compete, to win.

Thirdly, many international awards stimulates governments and enterprises to invest in corresponding areas. Take the Nobel Prize for example. The Nobel Prize, awarded every year, gives its highest reputation not only to the outstanding individuals who have made great achievement in physics, chemistry, medicine, literature and world peace, but also to the winners' countries. Because the prize means an international recognition of the country's academic levels in these realms as well as its contribution to the peace of the world. Also every country is proud of its scientists and writers who have won the Nobel Prize. Therefore governments, together with enterprisers are more willing to support scientific research, promote literature careers, and finance charity affairs, in order to win their nation honors. Indisputably, this will benefit a lot to the development of science and culture, as well as solve some pressing social problems, such as poverty.

Admittedly, if the prizewinner becomes so proud of his achievement that he neglects others' advice and discontinue hard work after receiving the prize, he will probably stop there and make no more progress. Or if many people treat winning prize as the only objective in life without taking their abilities into account, or they become so obsessed with fame and fortune that try every means to gain them, even sacrifice the interests of others. In such cases the awards serve more a negative function than a positive one.

In conclusion, as long as people regard the awards as a motive and impetus to work hard and passionately, such high-profile awards actually benefit the society largely, rather than undermine it.

louchen1984UID: 172975

还请大家指教

louchen1984UID: 172975

现在比过年那会儿热闹多了
自己顶一下～～：）

louchen1984UID: 172975

还请大家帮我看看 还有三天，恐怖～～～

ouenoUID: 194212

先占位
明天中午前回
因为现在开始要调生物钟了，不能再过黑白颠倒的生活了 :)

ouenoUID: 194212

Are high-profile awards damaging to society? The speaker claims so, as he implies that such awards recognize only a few people, which is somewhat unfair and might have negative influence to society. I do not agree with the speaker, in that the benefits provided by such high-profile awards outweigh the harmful effects they may have.

First of all, the reputation and fortune accompanied with such high-profile awards will improve the prizewinners' working conditions, which in turn encourages them to work harder. On the one hand, a large amount of premium of such high-profile awards will offer a more comfortable life for the winners, as well as enable them to purchase something essential for their work. In addition, the reputation they win will make them feel that all their endeavor and devotion isare worthy. In this way, scientists and writers are paid both mentally and materially. On the other hand, in order not to abuse the given honor and to win more, the prizewinners might feel hard-pressed to step out further in his career and to contribute more to society, such feelings will drive them work more passionately. In effect, this is a win-win business, in which the prizewinners benefit from the rewards supported by society and society also benefit from their further contributions.最后一层分析很精彩,examples?


Secondly, the attracting benefits and limited opportunities of such awards often inspire people to pursue their careers or interests more industriously, which is good to the development of society. Understanding that only excellent individuals can gain the opportunities, people will try their best to lift their ability and talent so as to meet the high standards of the award they wish to win. While to overcome all the competitors requires one's extraordinary endeavor and strive. This process will make a person tenant and a society full of such people will become consistent and strong. What is more, as human nature inclines to treasure the rare things while take as granted the common ones, it is the very limited number of prizewinners that represents the high value of the prizes and therefore stimulates people to compete, to win. 全段论述，一方面考场可能时间不够，而且不生动

Thirdly, many international awards stimulates governments and enterprises to invest in corresponding areas. Take the Nobel Prize for example. The Nobel Prize, awarded every year, gives its highest reputation not only to the outstanding individuals who have made great achievement in physics, chemistry, medicine, literature and world peace, but also to the winners' countries. Because the prize means an international recognition of the country's academic levels in these realms as well as its contribution to the peace of the world. Also every country is proud of its scientists and writers who have won the Nobel Prize. Therefore governments, together with enterprisers are more willing to support scientific research, promote literature careers, and finance charity affairs, in order to win their nation honors. Indisputably, this will benefit a lot to the development of science and culture, as well as solve some pressing social problems, such as poverty.

Admittedly, if the prizewinner becomes so proud of his achievement that he neglects others' advice and discontinue hard work after receiving the prize, he will probably stop there and make no more progress. Or if many people treat winning prize as the only objective in life without taking their abilities into account, or they become so obsessed with fame and fortune thatthey try every means to gain them, even sacrifice-ing the interests of others. In such cases the awards serve more a negative function than a positive one.

In conclusion, as long as people regard the awards as a motive and impetus to work hard and passionately, such high-profile awards actually benefit the society largely, rather than undermine it.

我觉的改过后好多了, 内容很充实
就是举例方面还可以增加一点
题中提到了nobel prize,第二段还可举oscar对电影人的肯定,olympic 还有很多可引申, 促进和平,带动经济发展等等,
不一定要再改, 以后能用就用吧