Argument147 大家帮我看看这个开头

bvbUID: 194706

A147: The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
-----------------------------------------------------------
With the result of a recently conducted survey and some actions the company of Whirlwind takes, the speaker suggests that the sales of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed after two years of declining. Though, at first glance, the conclusion is reasonable, on close examination, the judgment suffers from inadequate evidence and overlooks some other crucial factors in predicting the performance of a company.
...
----------------------------------------
后面的内容还没写，但是我想问一问这样的开头会不会不够具体，太虚了？！或者还有什么其他的问题也帮我指出来一下！第一次写Argument。多谢！

tottiUID: 184291

With the result of a recently conducted survey and some actions the company of Whirlwind takes, the speaker suggests that the sales of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed after two years of declining. Though, at first glance, the conclusion is reasonable, on close examination, 没必要这样说了吧,我认为the judgment suffers from inadequate evidence and overlooks some other crucial factors in predicting the performance of a company.
是有点不具体.我觉得如果准备开头写的不是很少的那种的话,一定要突出两点:用自己的话总结出作者的结论和他所依赖的论据.感觉大家现在都是这样的开始,范文模板也差不多,我也想不出更好的说法.反正尽量少拐弯,直入正题就好.但我也不是很赞成开头段就一句话的.
个人意见,希望大家都出点主意: )

向日葵的孩子UID: 162587

我觉得还可以啊,不用写得太具体了.大致指出文章的结论及主要论据即可.
具体论据在后面的批驳中呈现