Issue 34 第二篇出炉，望拍拍：）

staralwaysUID: 193479

“In stead of requiring students to take courses in a variety of disciplines – that is, courses ranging from the arts and the humanities to the physical and biological sciences – colleges and universities should allow students to enroll only in those courses that will help prepare them for jobs in their chosen fields. Such concentration is necessary in today’s increasingly work-oriented society.”
提纲：平衡观点
1>        当今社会竞争日趋激烈，为了让学生毕业后能够应付这种竞争，找到理想的工作，大学应该提供并要求学生学习相关的专业课程，以便他们能有一技之长。
2>        学习与专业课程相关的课程并不意味着就不必学习其他方面的课程。正相反，其他课程对学生的发展也是很重要的。教育的目的在于人的全面发展。
3>        对于找工作来说，当今社会越来越强调的是复合型人才，如果仅有专业知识，而没有其他方面的有益补充，也很难适应要求。另外，工作也未必与专业对口。
4>        正确的态度应该是两者结合：专业课程 + 选修课程。

During a period of swift social and economic development, there’s increasingly fierce competition within the society, especially in the job market. The requirement of the society to its students is higher and higher, and many graduates face the difficulties finding a good job. According to this point of view, the statement above seems to be perfect at first glance. But further reflection tells us that, in colleges and universities, students should be asked to attend courses of diverse disciplines besides that of their major.

The society today is developing fast, thus it needs more and more great-talented graduates to sustain this development. This inevitably leads to fierce competition in job-seeking. Therefore, in order to stand this competition, the students in colleges and universities should be asked to enroll those courses in their chosen fields. These courses will help them know better about the future of their majors, give them training in some specific skills and knowledge. It helps these students master them better than others thus can in an advantageous place during job-seeking. Consider the following situation. A software company wants a new employee. Two graduates of computer science come, one master Java (a programming language) well while the other knows litter. Which one will the company choose? Of course the first one. It’s not difficult to see the participation of those major courses, especially when the knowledge of which are well learnt. In a word, it’s essential for the schools to ask students to take part in those courses in the chosen fields for the job preparation.

However, attending the major courses dose not necessarily mean that the students shouldn’t participate in the courses of other disciplines, such as the arts and the humanities. In face, disallow the participation of such courses will degrade the aim of education. The essential goal of education is to get the students all-round developed, such as moral, physical, aesthetical as well as intellectual. Those courses, arts for example, can bring us edification: it is through the mysterious smile of Da vinci’s <Mona Lisa> that we fly in the sky of Imagination, and help forming our imaginative and creative mind in future problem-solving. Further more, we human beings are not machines, the task of which is to work throughout the day, we need to keep in touch and communicate with each other which is very important in the fields of working. Hence, courses focusing on how to communicate and maintain good relationship with others are needed. And this is the function of some of the humanities, such as psychology and courses of social connections. In fact, many universities have such requirement on credit. Zhejiang University, a famous university in China, requests its students who major in science must have 6 credits on humanities. Without such courses, we cannot expect the students to get good preparation in their way of life.

Moreover, there is a trend in today’s society which emphasizes more on generalists. Take the software company again as an example. If it main product is software application in the finance field, then graduates from the computer department with some knowledge of finance will certainly be the priorities in employment. Still more, the major some students enroll in will not necessarily be the field they work in the future. Thus, asking the students to learn courses of other disciplines will bring them great help.

In all, requiring the learning of major courses as well as those of other disciplines is a proper way to cultivate a student. If, we regard the students as fledglings, then the two kinds of courses will be their wings, without either of which, the birds just cannot touch the sky.

第一篇的结果是逻辑顺序不够清楚，还有是例子太少不能服人，不知道这篇如何。
恳请大家继续拍砖，希望共同提高这样几篇过后我也能拍人了，呵呵。

staralwaysUID: 193479

自己顶一下：（

staralwaysUID: 193479

哎，还是没人，是不是我RP太差了啊：（

staralwaysUID: 193479

仍旧没人拍，只能再自己顶一下：（

staralwaysUID: 193479

要在绝望中寻找希望了：（

kkytUID: 188814

占座，reading

staralwaysUID: 193479

最初由 kkyt 发布
[B]占座，reading [/B]

呵呵，感谢kkyt，希望能提提意见，大家共同进步：）

kkytUID: 188814

During a period of swift social and economic development, there’s increasingly fierce competition within the society, especially in the job market. The requirement of the society to its students is higher and higher, and many graduates face the difficulties to find finding a good job. According to this point of view, the statement above seems to be perfect at first glance. But further reflection tells us that, in colleges and universities, students should be asked to attend courses of diverse disciplines besides that these of their major.

The society today is developing fast, thus it needs more and more great-talented graduates to sustain this development. 开头句最好是中心句，阐明你在本段的分论点即学习专业是有用的This inevitably leads to fierce competition in job-seeking. Therefore, in order to stand this competition, the students in colleges and universities should be asked to enroll those courses in their chosen fields. These courses will help them know better about the future of their majors; give them training in some specific skills and knowledge. It helps these students master them better than others thus can in an advantageous place during job-seeking.感觉语法有错误 Consider the following situation. A software company wants a new employee. Two graduates of computer science come, one master Java (a programming language) well while the other knows litter. Which one will the company choose? Of course the first one. It’s not difficult to see the participation of those major courses, especially when the knowledge of which are well learnt. In a word, it’s essential for the schools to ask students to take part in those courses in the chosen fields for the job preparation.

However, attending the major courses dosedoes not necessarily mean that the students shouldn’t participate in the courses of other disciplines, such as the arts and the humanities. In facefact, disallow the participation of such courses will degrade the aim of education. The essential好象上面用过了，再换个词这种词许多 goal of education is to get the students all-roundwell-round developed, such as moral, physical, aesthetical as well as intellectual. Those courses, arts for example, can bring us edification: it is through the mysterious smile of Da vinci’s <Mona Lisa> 英语中无 书名号，用斜体代替that we fly in the sky of Imagination, and help forming our imaginative and creative mind in future problem-solving.没那么严重吧，好象语法也不对，再看看 Further more, we human beings are not machines, the task of which is to work throughout the day, we need to keep in touch and communicate with each other which is very important in the fields of working. Hence, courses focusing on how to communicate and maintain good relationship with others are needed. And this is the function of some of the humanities, such as psychology and courses of social connections. In fact, many universities have such requirement on credit. Zhejiang University, a famous university in China, requests its students who major in science must have 6 credits on humanities. Without such courses, we cannot expect the students to get good preparation in their way of life.偶认为完全可以去掉一个例子，论述一下多度专业的危害

Moreover, there is a trend in today’s society which emphasizes more on generalists. Take the software company again as an example. If it main product is software application in the finance field, then graduates from the computer department with some knowledge of finance will certainly be the priorities in employment. Still more, the major some students enroll in will not necessarily be the field they work in the future. Thus, asking the students to learn courses of other disciplines will bring them great help.

In allall in all, requiring the learning of major courses as well as those of other disciplines is a proper way to cultivate a student. If, we regard the students as fledglings, then the two kinds of courses will be their wings, without either of which, the birds just cannot touch the sky.很好的比喻，值得学习
总的来说你的思路和逻辑能力已经差不多了，所欠缺的是单词上、句式上还有些贫乏，而且每段中心论点应注意，总之你已经离成功不远了，不象我，思路有问题，想不出什么话来，这是最难办的，郁闷ing

staralwaysUID: 193479

十分感谢kkyt的拍砖！让我一解两天来每半天自己顶一下的尴尬！

你看问题还真准，昨天在写那篇Issue104的时候写得特别慢，重要原因就是感觉语言很贫乏，想讨论一个大问题但是缺乏很好的语言能力，感觉说不清楚，所以还没敢发到版上来，准备修改后再发上来。也许和我范文看的少，那些经典的句式结构也没有花时间去背诵的缘故吧。

关于思路的问题，我觉得如果一下子打不开的话可以多去看看相关的资料，我自己也是这样的，想不出来先在版上找，如果没有很合适的再到Google上去。我觉得多阅读肯定是有好处的，就像我语言匮乏的问题，我想多阅读积累肯定也会有所帮助，当然这些如果很早就开始做就好了：（

还有像这道题还有很多should类型的，我最喜欢就是采取平衡观点，这样两边都写不怕没东西写了。