习作贴是不是要发在这里啊

跳动的琴弦UID: 171113

那就贴在这里了，请指教，最好再告诉我能得大致分数，我好心里有个数，谢谢了。

[B]45.The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."[/B]

The author claims in the argument that the declining deer population is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. However, the evidence provided is unsound and therefore the argument is open to some obvious questions.

First, the reports from local hunters may be inaccurate. The number of the hunters, the area where they counted the deer, the method they adopted, and the detailed figure of the deer they reported; such information is not at all provided by the author so that the reports does not necessarily show that the deer population actually declined. If the hunters, for example, all hunted in the same island, and the deer in this island just migrated to another area; then the hunters might report the declining deer population, whereas, in fact, the population was unchanged. It is also possible that the hunters, with a cursory method or even with their simple observation, were not professional enough to count the deer to a correct number. Therefore, simply based on the reports from local hunters with no other detailed information, the author's claim about the declining deer population is weakened.

In addition, although these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, the trend does not necessarily have a causal relationship with the declining deer population. Since the author fails to provide the evidence that whether the melted sea ice was in the deer's habitat, possibility exists that the sea ice has melted only in the North Europe but not in Canada, which would not influence the deer. Also, even if the sea ice in Canada's arctic region melted caused by global warming trends, the deer might not need to move to the another island-especially the warming climate competently sustained the plants on the deer's habitat-so that the population may also remain unchanged. Thus, the author cannot set up a causal connection between the global warming trend and the declining deer population.

Finally, the author has obviously not ruled out other alternative possible explanations. Such explanations include human largely hunting, terrible epidemic prevailing, and environmental factors dramatically changing (except the global warming trend), etc. It is even possible that a terrible disease caused the plants fed on by the deer decreased significantly so that the declining amount of the food cause the declining deer population.

In sum, lacking sufficient evidence and detailed information about the reports, failing in causally connecting the declination with the warming trend, and having not considered other possible explanations, the author has not well reasoned the argument, and the claim is thus unconvincing and somewhat misleading.

poohUID: 146994

写得很不错，就是body3应该再展开讨论一下其他因素到底是怎么影响deer数量的。body1,2 的论证有道理，有条理，语言很流畅
这篇文章如果第三段再写的丰满一点，应该可以得到5分

请注意发文的格式，回一下这个帖子https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=208286

跳动的琴弦UID: 171113

谢谢pooh大侠的指教。

那个帖子我已经看过，我以后会注意发帖格式的。