[文章]argument1,大家帮忙看看 ：）

梅子UID: 195023

Argument1
The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
'Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.'

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In this argument, the president recommends that the company should set up the next new store in Plainsville where many residents are engaged in health lives. The author draws the conclusion on the basis of the assumption that the profit of their stores dues to the passion local residents have about healthy lives.  In addition, several evidences about Plainsville are cited that two types of training products sale well there, the health club and training classes become popular, and that schoolchildren in Plainsville will be a new generation of customers required with regular exercise in a health program. However, the unwarranted assumption and vague, unsubstantiated, questionable evidences presented in the argument so seriously undermine the viewpoint of the author that we cannot accept it convincingly.

The most important flaw of the argument is that the author’s assumption, based on previous experience, that the profit of their stores dues to the passion local residents have about healthy lives is groundless.  It is because that experience in the past might not be effective today and might not appropriate to any concrete place.  It is probable that the cost on the transportation of e cargos to Plainsville is expensive, or that the expenditure on constructing the store-building in Plainsville is extraordinarily high.  Also, it is possible that most residents are in favor of buying their health-related products through on-line delivery and the traditional selling mode of Nature's Way is no longer available.  Having not ruled out these possibilities, the arguer’ assumption is incredible.  Even if the assumption is reasonable, the arguer fails to convince us that Plainsville’ residents indeed value healthy lives not providing definite number of people in the health club.     
      
Another problem that undermines the argument lies in that the author fails to provide any related evidence or statistics about the sales of health food in Plainsville while just describing the sales of two kinds of health-related products (running shoes and exercise clothing).  Perhaps Plainsville’s residents have no interest in health food and the sales of health food, therefore, keep in a very low level.  Or perhaps all the other health-related products are hard to sell out except the two kinds of products mentioned above.  Given no further information about the sales of health food and other health-related products, it is doubtful that the arguer is trying to avoid other proofs that are adverse to his recommendation deliberately.

In addition, there are many other factors the arguer fails to taken into account before deciding whether the company should open a chain store in Plainsville, such as occupancy of the market, the figure of enterprise, the perspective for future development etc.  It might be probable that he chairman of the company will choose to bear no profit in order for benefit from other aspects mentioned above, in some special conditions.  Without a synthetical consideration, the arguer draws the conclusion that Nature's Way should build the next store in Plainsville too hastily.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands. Before we accept the recommendation, the arguer should exclude other possibilities and more information and statistics to prove that the store in Plainsville will make profit. To solidify the recommend, the arguer would have to analysis other factors, besides profit, comprehensively before drawing the conclusion.

flyingwindUID: 189320

头大的下人啊！

梅子UID: 195023

嗯，确实是太长了阿~
写开头的时候，是没有必要把作者的论证都总结吗？
怎么把握总结的度啊，还请大家多多指点
谢谢

梅子UID: 195023

不要沉啊~~
push  push...

PsychocandyUID: 171159

In this argument, the president recommends that the company should set up the next new store in Plainsville where many residents are engaged in health lives(healthy lives). The author draws the conclusion on the basis of the assumption that the profit of their stores dues to (due是形容词，不用加S)the passion (加THE)local residents have about healthy lives. In addition, several evidences about Plainsville are cited that two types of training products sale(SELL) well there, the health club and training classes become popular, and that schoolchildren in Plainsville will be a new generation of customers required with (REQUIRED WITH看着感觉别扭)regular exercise in a health program. However, the unwarranted assumption and vague, unsubstantiated, questionable (用三个形容词太多)evidences presented in the argument so seriously undermine the viewpoint of the author that we cannot accept it convincingly. (CONVINCING)

The most important flaw of the argument is that the author’s assumption, based on previous experience, that the profit of their stores dues to the passion (THE)local residents have about healthy lives is groundless. It is because that  experience in the past might not be effective today and might not appropriate to (把APPROPRIATE TO改成BE APPROPRIATE FOR比较保险)any (ANY太绝对了吧)concrete place. It is probable that the cost on the transportation of e cargos to Plainsville is expensive, or that the expenditure on constructing the store-building in Plainsville is extraordinarily high. Also, it is possible that most residents are in favor of buying their health-related products through on-line delivery and the traditional selling mode of Nature's Way is no longer available(感觉AVAILABLE不合适,考虑换POPULAR). Having not ruled out these possibilities, the arguer’ assumption is incredible(难以置信的?感觉别扭啊). Even if the assumption is reasonable, the arguer fails to convince us that Plainsville’ residents indeed value healthy lives not(考虑把NOT换成WITHOUT) providing definite number of people in the health club.

Another problem that undermines the argument lies in that the author fails to provide any related evidence or statistics about the sales of health food in Plainsville while just describing the sales of two kinds of health-related products (running shoes and exercise clothing). Perhaps Plainsville’s residents have no interest in health food and the sales of health food, therefore, (感觉应该加个WOULD,因为是推测)keep in a very low level. Or perhaps all the other health-related products are hard to sell out except the two kinds of products mentioned above. Given no further information about the sales of health food and other health-related products, it is doubtful that the arguer is trying to avoid other proofs that are adverse to his recommendation deliberately. (ADVERSE一般作定语,可以这样AVOID OTHER ADVERSE PROOFS AGAINST HIS RECOMMENDATION,不一定对,参考一下)

In addition, there are many other factors the arguer fails to taken(TAKE) into account before deciding whether the company should open a chain store in Plainsville, such as occupancy of the market, the figure of enterprise, the perspective (是不是想写PROSPECTS)for future development etc. It might be probable that he chairman of the company will choose to bear no profit in order for (IN ORDER TO)benefit from other aspects mentioned above, in some special conditions. Without a synthetical(这个词肯定不对) consideration, the arguer draws the conclusion that Nature's Way should build the next store in Plainsville too hastily.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands. Before we accept the recommendation, the arguer should exclude other possibilities and (这还缺一个动词,比如PROVIDE)more information and statistics to prove that the store in Plainsville will make profit. To solidify the recommend(SOLIDIFY感觉别扭,用这种词错的风险大,还有应该是RECOMMENDATION) the arguer would have to analysis(ANALYZE) other factors, besides profit, comprehensively before drawing the conclusion.

dragonflyljUID: 185331

开头总结一下作者说了什么，如果你想得话，短短列出作者的理由，高度概括，这两个最好在一句里面写掉。然后就说作者有病，要改。尽量把时间留在中间和语法检查上。抄一遍题目也许能够理清思路顺便凑字数，但是如果本身题目混得熟，就不必这样了/

下面你的反驳是到位了，这点只要做到把每题都混熟，就可以搞定。可以靠7宗罪的方式，也可以自己再补充些，挺好的。