issue104 恳请广大G友改正.最近在上新东方一直没时间.感激不尽

kkytUID: 188814

issue104 恳请指教,先谢了.感觉写的没有创新,思路和大家差不多,不知如何是好?盼回复.谢谢了
It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
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Is the formal education the predominant method which a culture tries to transmit the ideas it favors and eradicate the ideas it fears, as the speaker’s claim? I agree that a function of the formal education is to transmit the culture, however, in my opinion, such effect of the education should not be excessively emphasized; the core role of the formal education would be distorted and some other important means by which a culture achieves its aim may be overlooked.

To begin with, although formal education serves as the fundamental tool for a culture to inculcate its ideas to people, the target of formal education is crucial to cultivate students the capability of skepticism and innovation, rather than merely indoctrinate the ideology a culture preserved. As far as the juvenile, whose characters and values are still easy to shape be concerned, formal education usually plays an important role by virtue of instilling the students some basic tenets such as compassion virtue and humility which exists in any democratic country. For example America perpetuates the freedom ideas and traditional culture by arranging students’ courses and extracurricular. However, there is no denying that the motivation of the schooling is to develop a well-round person with enthusiasm and originality .Innovation equates to explore the new ideas and abandon the wrong ideas no matter whether they are adopted or distained by the culture. Aristotle once said: “Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth.” It is through nurturing the students’ creativity that education impels the progress of society and the diversity of the culture. If we had over-emphasized upon the education’s role of toppling; we would whittle our students down into a complaisant achievement machine, more stuffed with learning but short of critical thinking.

Secondly, it is probably that the culture primarily gains the goal by the other methods such as informal education and the mass media etc. For one hand, family influence on the inculcation of the culture can not be neglected. Education commences at the mother’s knees and every word spoken tends towards the formation of the character. As we know, parents’ ideas have deeply effect on the children. Through their parents, children may know what is the culture favors or disagrees. For example, the pre-primer minister of UK Margaret Thatcher, whose nickname "the iron lady" contributed her values of equality and freedom to edification of her father and her family. For the other hand, another significant weapon that the culture transmission depends on is the medium Television, newspaper and internet play a considerable role in the broadcasting the mainstream of the culture. The songs, the plays, the articles we get from the mass medium are greatly influenced by the culture. The propaganda of the cultural ideas can affect the formation of the ideology more deeply and vastly and is easier to be accepted by the public than formal education. Take the newspaper as example, everyday all kinds of comments are printed and published. Gradually, through the enduring propagation which extols ideas the culture favors and criticizes the ideas it fears, the conformity of the culture can be shaped.

In sum, the mission of the education is not merely to perpetuating the culture. We can not assert that education is the dominant methods. Actually, it is the informal education as well as other tools that contribute the perpetuation of the cultural ideas of a society.

G猫UID: 192988

issue104 恳请指教,先谢了.感觉写的没有创新,思路和大家差不多,不知如何是好?盼回复.谢谢了
It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
------正文------
Is the formal education the predominant method which a culture tries to transmit the ideas it favors and eradicate the ideas it fears, as the speaker’s claim? I agree that a function of the formal education is to transmit the culture, however, in my opinion, such effect of the education should not be excessively emphasized; the core role of the formal education would be distorted and some other important means by which a culture achieves its aim may be overlooked. [这道题主要讨论是否主要通过教育来perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears，所以我觉得讨论的内容应该放在是不是，为什么，是怎样实现的，还有什么其他方式来实现这一功能，而谈到教育的作用，感觉有偏了,因为题目并没有否定教育其他目的的意思]

To begin with, although formal education serves as the fundamental tool for a culture to inculcate its ideas to people, the target of formal education is crucial to cultivate students the capability of skepticism and innovation, rather than merely indoctrinate the ideology a culture preserved. As far as the juvenile, whose characters and values are still easy to shape be concerned, formal education usually plays an important role by virtue of instilling the students some basic tenets such as compassion virtue and humility which exists in any democratic country. [从你的ts，我感觉你下面的内容应该是说培养skepticism和innovation了，结果接下来说得却是灌输意识形态，不连贯] For example America perpetuates the freedom ideas and traditional culture by arranging students’ courses and extracurricular. [从你的思路来看，以上的部分应该是个让步，所以最好用admittedly来开头，不过这个非重点的让步也太长了] However, there is no denying that the motivation of the schooling is to develop a well-round person with enthusiasm and originality .Innovation equates to explore the new ideas and abandon the wrong ideas no matter whether they are adopted or distained by the culture. Aristotle once said: “Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth.”[感觉这个名言对前面的论点支持得不好] It is through nurturing the students’ creativity that education impels the progress of society and the diversity of the culture. If we had over-emphasized upon the education’s role of toppling [嗯？什么时候说emphasize toppling了？]; we would whittle our students down into a complaisant achievement machine, more stuffed with learning but short of critical thinking [感觉这句话没什么道理，为什么过分强调教育得“倾覆”作用学生就缺少critical thinking的能力了?]

[就我的看法，这段跑了，教育的目的不是这到题讨论的重点，也不能为你的中心论点服务，所以没什么意义].

Secondly, it is probably that the culture primarily gains the goal by the other methods such as informal education and the mass media etc.[这个方向就对头了，不过primarily？] For one hand, family influence on the inculcation of the culture can not be neglected. Education commences at the mother’s knees and every word spoken tends towards the formation of the character [formation of the character 跟题目所讨论的ideas关系不大吧？]. As we know, parents’ ideas have deeply effect on the children. Through their parents, children may know what is the culture favors or disagrees. For example, the pre-primer minister of UK Margaret Thatcher, whose nickname "the iron lady" contributed her values of equality and freedom to edification of her father and her family. For the other hand, another significant weapon that the[for] culture transmission depends on is the [mass] medium. Television, newspaper and internet play a considerable role in the broadcasting the mainstream of the culture. The songs, the plays, the articles we get from the mass medium are greatly influenced by the culture [这句没什么用处]. The propaganda of the cultural ideas can affect the formation of the ideology more deeply and vastly and is easier to be accepted by the public than formal education [这个结论下的没有根据,原因呢]. Take the newspaper as example, everyday all kinds of comments are printed and published. Gradually, through the enduring propagation which extols ideas the culture favors and criticizes the ideas it fears, the conformity of the culture can be shaped.

In sum, the mission of the education is not merely to perpetuating the culture. We can not assert that education is the dominant methods [这点在你的文章中没有论证,因为只是提到了其他的方式而没有进行有说服力的比较论证，怎么能得出他不是dominant method]. Actually, it is the informal education as well as other tools that contribute the perpetuation of the cultural ideas of a society [这句总结没有扣住题，discredit ideas it fears哪去了？].

[觉得你的词汇量挺大的，不过有时句子上会有语法错误。总的来说，这篇文章没有抓住重点深入论证，一些相关的论证也都是浮于表面，太general了，而且几乎都没怎么提到是discredit ideas it fears，有只是和favors放在一起泛泛地说一下。比如说“through the enduring propagation which extols ideas the culture favors and criticizes the ideas it fears, the conformity of the culture can be shaped”。逻辑、分析要加强哟，加油：）]

staralwaysUID: 193479

这道题目早上也在写，我是这样看的：
题目是“It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.”，这句话是个强调句，所以我觉得重点应该放在primarily和foraml education上，说的是“主要通过正规教育来达到……”，因此我觉得论述的重点应该放在是不是主要通过正规教育以及有没有其他的形式上。
不知道这样理解对不对？大家一起来讨论吧！

kkytUID: 188814

谢谢了G猫,和 staralways 今天太晚了,明天再仔细看