ISSUE130 也写了个社会化和儿童教育的 麻烦大家看看谢谢

chrisyUID: 160364

老问题 想不到什么例子可写 老是说理说理的 怎么办呢~~~~~

130 - 教育的意义：孩子的社会化
130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

今天的孩子社会化的方式决定了社会的明天。遗憾的是，我们还不知道如何去培养这些能有助于带来一个更好社会的孩子们。
P: main 赞成
A: It cannot be denied that how we educated kids today determine the orientation of society
B: But the school education failed to educate children to be a sound social-being, for they only teach kids skills instead of quality
C: The value system that the parents even the whole society hold put more emphasis on individual development rather than teamwork and cooperation.


Education is a popular topic in contemporary information society, especially education of children. It attracts more and more social attention, which is not only regarded as the task of teachers and parents. A vital aspect of children's education is socialization which relates to the future of our whole society. I agree with the speaker's assertion that we have not put enough emphasis on the well-rounded of children's education, especially their socialization.

To begin with, just as the speaker said, it is undeniable that how we teach kids today determines the orientation of our society. People often compare children to the sun in the morning, the future of our society and so on. They all mean one thing: children are the hope of social development, and education play a vital role in training them to be sound human-beings.
Moreover, it is significant for us to teach children how to become sound social-beings. The most differences between human and animal is their socialization, which is also the key to all achievements of human society. A person without the concept of socialization even cannot survive in contemporary society, not to mention achieve any success. It is necessary and crucial for us to teach children how to survive in current society, which means learning the essence of society, various  interpersonal relationship, the skills and abilities of cooperation, communication and so on.

However, as a vital part of children's education, our school failed to teach kids how to be sound social-beings. Our formal education put too much emphasis on the training of knowledge and skills instead of ability and quality. As a main mean of educational evaluation, examination makes students regard attaining high grades as the major aim of study. They always only learn the knowledge which is required to master by examinations, lacking other important abilities, such as how to get along well with others. We often heard the negative examples that students compete for high grades by any kind of means. And there are so many "good students" who get rather high grades in school failed after they enter the society because they lack the ability to adapt social life. The lack of training in socialization seriously impedes the quality of education, as well as the development of society.

Moreover, the value system that parents even the whole society hold overstates the significance of individual development rather than social responsibility, which also misleads children in their way of thinking. In a society which adores freedom of choice and independent spirit, people often put too much emphasis on the interest of themselves. What our kids learn first is not social responsibility but how to achieve individual success. Heroes as Prometheus  who sacrifice himself for the sake of human are not praised nowadays. Examples we set up in current society often represent the spirits of competition and independence, from which children can not know enough the meaning of modesty, cooperation and teamwork. We neglect the truth that only individual success will not lead to the healthy development of the whole society.  

To sum up, it is high time for us to emphasize on the significance of the education of children's socialization. Individual pursuing and achievement is important, but we should not neglect the significance of socialization. Without this sense one cannot survive in current times, and the whole society cannot prosperous and stable.

hjhjhj1984UID: 160270

总体感觉还好
不过有的地方觉得绕的话比较多
另外没什么事例
呵呵
我是新手
不当之处还请见谅

xiongyicnUID: 192745

130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

今天的孩子社会化的方式决定了社会的明天。遗憾的是，我们还不知道如何去培养这些能有助于带来一个更好社会的孩子们。
P: main 赞成
A: It cannot be denied that how we educated kids today determine the orientation of society
B: But the school education failed to educate children to be a sound social-being, for they only teach kids skills instead of quality
C: The value system that the parents even the whole society hold put more emphasis on individual development rather than teamwork and cooperation.


Education is a popular topic in contemporary information society, especially education of children. It attracts more and more social attention, which is not only 既然用了not only,后面表达观点的递进的关系放在这里声明感觉更简洁有力,regarded as the task of teachers and parents. A vital aspect of children's education is socialization which relates to the future of our whole society. I agree with the speaker's assertion that we have not put enough emphasis on the well-rounded of children's education, especially their socialization.

To begin with, just as the speaker said, it is undeniable that how we teach kids today determines the orientation of our society. speaker说的原话并不是我们如何教育孩子决定社会的未来People often compare children to the sun in the morning, the future of our society and so on. They all mean one thing: children are the hope of social development, and education play a vital role in training them to be sound human-beings.
这里是另起一段吗？觉得应该是另起一段吧，这里是一个TSMoreover, it is significant for us to teach children how to become sound social-beings. The most differences between human and animal is their socialization, which is also the key to all achievements of human society. A person without the concept of socialization even cannot survive in contemporary society, not to mention achieve any success. It is necessary and crucial for us to teach children how to survive in current society, which means learning the essence of society, various interpersonal relationship, the skills and abilities of cooperation, communication and so on.
上面两段主要论证前半个assertion,孩子的社会化决定社会的命运，通过B2教育孩子是决定社会的命运和B3教育孩子成为sound social-beings是significant，建议楼主把用一个过渡句把这个两个分观点统一起来，即（1）因为教孩子决定社会的未来，同时呢，（2）教孩子社会化又是教孩子里非常重要的，所以教孩子社会化决定了社会的未来。紧扣论点
不过觉得这两个BODY对TS的支持不够用力哟。就是简单说明。

However, as a vital part of children's education, our school failed to teach kids how to be sound social-beings. Our formal education put too much emphasis on the training of knowledge and skills 知识和技能的培养不是社会化的一部分吗？instead of ability and quality. As a main mean of educational evaluation, examination makes students regard attaining high grades as the major aim of study. They always only learn the knowledge which is required to master by examinations, lacking other important abilities, such as how to get along well with others. We often heard the negative examples that students compete for high grades by any kind of means. And there are so many "good students" who get rather high grades in school failed fail改成lose更好一些after they enter the society because they lack the ability to adapt social life. The lack of training in socialization seriously impedes the quality of education, as well as the development of society.

Moreover, the value system that parents even the whole society hold overstates the significance of individual development rather than social responsibility, which also misleads children in their way of thinking. In a society which adores freedom of choice and independent spirit, people often put too much emphasis on the interest of themselves. What our kids learn first is not social responsibility but how to achieve individual success. Heroes as Prometheus who sacrifice himself for the sake of human are not praised nowadays. Examples we set up in current society often represent the spirits of competition and independence, from which children can not know enough the meaning of modesty, cooperation and teamwork. We neglect the truth that only individual success will not lead to the healthy development of the whole society.

To sum up, it is high time for us to emphasize on the significance of the education of children's socialization. Individual pursuing and achievement is important, but we should not neglect the significance of socialization. Without this sense one cannot survive in current times, and the whole society cannot prosperous and stable.

楼主是同意speaker's claim，但是楼主主要证明的是孩子社会化教育对社会的意义，我觉得这个和决定社会的命运还是有些差别的，可能要说得更细一些。
我也写了这篇，好像楼主也看了，感觉这个issue大家的理解都不是太一样，希望大家都讨论。

chrisyUID: 160364

这题难在对社会化的理解容易出现歧义 而且我个人的问题就是说理说来说去 想不到什么好事例呵呵
谢谢楼上帮忙修改  共同加油哈