Issue 81 大家砸砖吧 忍了

hanyuxingUID: 173529

The speaker’s contention can be divided into two positions that patriotic reverence for the history of a nation often does impede as well as encourage progress and it does the former more than the later. I totally agreed the assertion. Looking back to the history there are many examples which can be used to reveal that the patriotic reverence for the history of a nation sometimes or in some circumstances encourage progress. However in the most cases it impedes the progress of the history.

It is true that in some dynasty or certain period the patriotic reverence for the history of a nation encouraged the progress of that society.  For example, in the history of China who has 5000 years recorded history so many artists, scientists and thinkers were encouraged and enlightened by the long history and then made greater achievements. Just because of the patriotic reverence for himself or herself nation's history, they gained power to learn from the history with gave them respiration in the real life. Even in the contemporary military strategy field Chinese still research the SHUIZI military strategy which is created thousands years before and make advantage of it in the modern war, which reveals that with the heart of patriotic reverence of the history of a nation one can learn a lot from the history which can encourage progress.

However, blind patriotic reverence only contributes to impede the progress of the society and the nation. The Chinese QING dynasty is a good example, the emperor and the ruling rang closed the country' s door to prevent everything from abroad and image that the country is the richest and the most developed one in the world which is due to the patriotic for the historic of the nation. Therefore, this kind of blind reverence impedes the progress of it. That is the reason why China was attacked by several foreign countries and ceded HONG KONG to British.

No matter how thrift the history of a nation is, it stands for nothing. One can only study from the history and try to make progress in the contemporary society rather than consider that the nation would be the same thrive automatically. Therefore in recent society most country on the one hand teach their children not to forget their history but on the other hand children are more educated to look forward to strive and create new history by themselves.,

To sum up, I agree that patriotic reverence for the history of a nation often does more to impede than to encourage progress.  Only reverence the history can lead to regress and less development. One in the modern society should with the heart of reverence of their society and thrive for the tomorrow.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

发贴格式不对

fengboallanUID: 157405

大哥，呵呵，你发的帖子格式不对，看看needle姐姐的那篇发帖的格式然后再发。另外，一定要把你得题目和中文翻译给打上去，然后再把你得分论点用中文或者英文贴在前面。这样有助于别人帮你看。呵呵，还有阿，千万别一次发三篇。看不过的。呵呵，最多一天一篇。



Issue 81 大家砸砖吧 忍了

81"Patriotic reverence for the history of a nation often does more to impede than to encourage progress."
81． 太多国家历史的热爱和崇敬往往对国家发展起阻碍作用，而不是推动作用



The speaker’s contention can be divided into two positions that patriotic reverence for the history of a nation often does impede as well as encourage progress and it does the former more than the later. 我明白你的意思，对国家历史热爱有两面性对吧，不过第一句写的有点糊涂。太长了，可以简洁点I totally agreed the assertion. Looking back to the history there are many examples which can be used to reveal that the patriotic reverence for the history of a nation sometimes or 用and吧in some circumstances encourage progress. However in the most cases it impedes the progress of the history.第一段最大的问题在于把原文的词汇和句子重复了太多遍了，虽然很长，但是看了以后都是在重复那么几句话。尝试着把题目换成自己的话表达出来比较好。

It is true that in some dynasty or certain period the patriotic reverence for the history of a nation encouraged the progress of that society.中心论调是同意，为什么第一句话确实妥协。让步可以，但是，必须来个however怎么怎么样。第一句话是topic sentence必须和你得中心论调一样。即使你说两面性的问题也要放在最后一段上一笔带过。 For example, in the history of China who has 5000 years recorded history so many artists, scientists and thinkers were encouraged and enlightened by the long history and then made greater achievements. Just because of the patriotic reverence for himself or herself nation's history, they gained power to learn from the history with gave them respiration in the real life. Even in the contemporary military strategy field Chinese still research the SHUIZI military strategy which is created thousands years before and make advantage of it in the modern war, which reveals that with the heart of patriotic reverence of the history of a nation one can learn a lot from the history which can encourage progress.这一段比许大动手术。
出现的问题：
1 论调就有问题，你的观点是agree，怎么能上来第一段就同意别人否定的东西呢。
2让步可以，但是必须转折，说对立面。当然，例子也必须换
3 你想说两面性的问题，也不能在body中说，最多再结尾说一点

However, blind patriotic reverence only contributes to impede the progress of the society and the nation. The Chinese QING dynasty is a good example, the emperor and the ruling rang closed the country' s door to prevent everything from abroad and image that the country is the richest and the most developed one in the world which is due to the patriotic for the historic of the nation. Therefore, this kind of blind reverence impedes the progress of it. That is the reason why China was attacked by several foreign countries and ceded HONG KONG to British.
全都是例子的叠加，需要逻辑的论证

No matter how thrift这词是不是有问题啊 the history of a nation is, it stands for nothing.第一句完全不明白啥意思 One can only study from the history and try to make progress in the contemporary society rather than consider that the nation would be the same thrive automatically. Therefore in recent society most country on the one hand teach their children not to forget their history but on the other hand children are more educated to look forward to strive and create new history by themselves.,

To sum up, I agree that patriotic reverence for the history of a nation often does more to impede than to encourage progress. Only reverence the history can lead to regress and less development. One in the modern society should with the heart of reverence of their society and thrive for the tomorrow.


我开始狠拍了阿，呵呵，别怪我，有砖头就得尽到责任
整篇文章我觉得是一片混乱。
1 论证方法：你同意了别人的观点，那就是说90%的东西是同意的
不同的，就狠狠地否定。除非你是balance。
这里面你先同意了，然后第一段就那样，这不是自相矛盾么。
2 结构，混乱！一定去精华区看看别人的文章或者讲座。
ts+论证+例子
第三段全都是例子的堆砌，没有自己的语言啊。例证是需要，但三句四句就够了，然后要统一的论述。
3 语言的问题没估计细看，先把逻辑的问题和结构的问题搞好。
GRE是检查学生逻辑的考试不是语言考试。地道的语言可以说是锦上添花。但是如果逻辑不清。这是致命的缺陷。

停笔两天去学习一下范文或者revise一下

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

up 为什么发完文就不见了?