issue55 重出江湖之二

冥界星灿UID: 184746

55. Many people admire idealism, but it actually lead to disappointment or trouble.

According to the statement, idealism brings disappointment or trouble to people. Many evidences in reality seemingly attest to the proposition at ease. Taking scrutiny to these circumstances, however, we find although the superficial phenomena of these so-called reasonable proofs bolster the stated points, the qualities of them suggest that it is idealism that lead to hopefulness.

At the first glance, many evidences suggest that idealism actually harm human's hope towards life and tomorrow. Two examples concerning Philosophy and Literature are at hands. Nietzsche with his ideal comment that he is the sun and what he does is only to give not to receive eventually died lonely in a small village. "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs", The brilliant fairy tale of Brothers Grimm, just make more people to believe there are always vicious Queen in any society. Indeed, one can cites as many facts as you like when concerning to the proposition mentioned by the speaker.

However, taking a close analysis to the examples mentioned above, we could find both of them bolstered that idealism actually bring human beings with endless hope themselves. Nietzsche, although died miserable, received respects all over the world reardless of people's nationalities and sexualities. That is, the idealist will gain his/her glory sooner or later. Also, most people read "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs" gain the belief that the integrity will eventually go over all the odds coming across and eventually conquer evil. Thereby, many people keep on standing in the rightness position and do not give up even if they met misunderstanding. That is where the idealism laid its value on. Not only these two evidence but almost all the idealism, from which you could see optimism toward humanity and rightness. Some people who view idealism with disappointment and suppose it will eventually lead to trouble are just ones who do not understand the qualities of idealism.

In fact, idealism is the most loveliness ideology of human being. Through it, human not only criticize the scandals in human society, but express their desire or will that may not come true easily in reality and point to a direction human being must struggle for their realization. Many paintings of Pablo Picasso during the Second World War lashed the cruelty of wars and homicides. The popular flim "Harry potter" firms the audiences' belief that both rightness and braveness are of vital importance in one's character and will eventually lead to accomplishment. It is through idealism that human being build the beliefs towards tomorrow and they endured temporary disappointment they come across during the thousands of years passed by in the hope of a equality and liberate world.

From the reasons mentioned above, we could conclude that in spite of some misunderstanding against idealism, idealism is actually the expression of human being's kind wish and will bring human with hope and eudemonia other than frustration or trouble.

haiyaUID: 187989

55. Many people admire idealism, but it actually lead to disappointment or trouble.

According to the statement, idealism brings disappointment or trouble to people. 前半句改成，As the author claims,感觉比较好。不然读上去好象是自己的见解一般Many evidences in reality seemingly attest to the proposition at ease. Taking scrutiny to these circumstances, however, we find although the superficial phenomena of these so-called reasonable proofs bolster the stated points这个although的作用和前面那句陈述内容重复, the qualities？ of them their qualitiessuggest that it is idealism that lead to hopefulness hope.

At the first glance, many evidences suggest that idealism actually感觉对于让步来说，这个语气重了点，删 harm human's hope towards life and tomorrow. Two examples concerning Philosophy and Literature are at hands. Nietzsche with his ideal comment that he is the sun and what he does is only to give not to receive eventually died lonely in a small village意思明白，可是这句话的结构好乱. "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs", The brilliant fairy tale of Brothers Grimm, just make more people to believe there are always vicious Queen in any society. Indeed, one can cites as many facts as you like 这个是固定词组吗？as。。。 as u likewhen concerning to the proposition mentioned by the speaker.
这段说是有害的。童话的例子是你的主观臆断。不能支持。我只知道尼采的这个理论，但我不知道他最后死的时候自己是否disappointment或者trouble感。不确定，所以也不好说。

However, taking a close analysis to the examples mentioned above, we could find both of them bolstered that idealism actually bring human beings with endless hope themselves. Nietzsche, although died miserable, received respects all over the world reardless regardlessof people's nationalities and sexualities. That is, the idealist will gain his/her glory sooner or later.那么Hitler呢？这句话太绝对了。先定个范围再说 Also, most people read "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs" gain the belief that the integrity will eventually go over all the odds coming across and eventually conquer evil. Thereby, many people keep on standing in the rightness position and do not give up even if they met misunderstanding. That is where the idealism laid its value on. Not only these two evidences but almost all the idealism, from which you could see optimism toward humanity and rightness. Some people who view idealism with disappointment and suppose it will eventually lead to trouble are just ones who do not understand the qualities of idealism. ts没有很好的总领或者概括两个方面，只说了第二点

In fact, idealism is the most loveliness ideology of human being. Through it, human not only criticize the scandals in human society, but express their desire or will that may not come true easily in reality and point to a direction human being must struggle for their realization. Many paintings of Pablo Picasso during the Second World War lashed 这个词痛快~~the cruelty of wars and homicides. 提一下他的反战主义，对应idealThe popular flimfilm "Harry potter" firms the audiences' belief that both rightness and braveness are of vital importance in one's character and will eventually lead to accomplishment. 这个例子讲了idea，但是没讲它对人们的作用It is through idealism that human beings build the beliefs towards tomorrow and they endured temporary disappointment disappointment在这段里提到了吗？they come across during the thousands of years passed by in the hope of a anequality and liberate world.举例和结论关系不大over come disappointment在哪里体现？

From the reasons mentioned above, we could conclude that in spite of some misunderstanding against idealism, idealism is actually the expression of human being's kind wish and will bring human with hope and eudemonia other than frustration or trouble.
实话实说。感觉b2 和b3有重复性，虽然b2是在反驳b1，但是和b3的的论点不是特别分明。另外对于题目中的disappointment和trouble作者笔墨不大。我觉得disappointment和trouble的来源是由于目标不能完成后的失落感，以及太注重目标后忽略其他带来的trouble。 而且idealism也有正义和非正义之分。原本的结构框架可以采用。但是内容最好再重新考虑一下。
另外贴文前请自检。有很多很明显的拼写错误。

冥界星灿UID: 184746

感谢haiya的仔细批改！我就喜欢实话实说^_^

1、As the author claims,感觉比较好。
会不会引起“正如作者而言”这样的误会？会吗?

2、actually感觉对于让步来说，这个语气重了点，删
nod

3、那么Hitler呢？这句话太绝对了。先定个范围再说
同意，思维过于简单

4、文章开头  这个although的作用和前面那句陈述内容重复
是想和后面作对仗。这些事例表面上——，however,实际上——
可以吗？还是我弄巧成拙了？


5、另，虽然b2是在反驳b1，但是和b3的的论点不是特别分明
同意。但是——不知道写什么分论点，唉唉艾

其他的——不列了，都是同意。

再次感谢！！！

davidjackyUID: 135962

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=248490

No.1 issue55 重出江湖之二
55. Many people admire idealism, but it actually lead to disappointment or trouble.
请注意寄托版发文的规则，最好把自己的提纲放在前面。

According to the statement, idealism brings disappointment or trouble to people. Many evidences in reality seemingly attest to the proposition at ease. Taking scrutiny to these circumstances, however, we find although the superficial phenomena of these so-called reasonable proofs bolster the stated points, the qualities of them suggest that it is idealism that lead to hopefulness.
观点摆出来，简单的说：理想主义好！

At the first glance, many evidences suggest that idealism actually harm human's hope towards life and tomorrow. Two examples concerning Philosophy and Literature are at hands. Nietzsche with his ideal comment that he is the sun and what he does is only to give not to receive eventually died lonely in a small village. "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs", The brilliant fairy tale of Brothers Grimm, just make【makes】 more people to believe there are always vicious Queen in any society. Indeed, one can cites as many facts as you like when concerning to the proposition mentioned by the speaker.我想你还是好好解释一下尼采的理想注意的好处，而那个美丽的童话故事在这里一点意义都没有，还有最后一句是模板，这么写还不如来个总结更好。

However, taking a close analysis to the examples mentioned above, we could find both of them bolstered that idealism actually bring human beings with endless hope themselves. Nietzsche, although died miserable, received respects all over the world reardless of people's nationalities and sexualities. That is, the idealist will gain his/her glory sooner or later. Also, most people read "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs" gain the belief that the integrity will eventually go over all the odds coming across and eventually conquer evil. Thereby, many people keep on standing in the rightness position and do not give up even if they met misunderstanding. That is where the idealism laid its value on. Not only these two evidence but almost all the idealism, from which you could see optimism toward humanity and rightness. Some people who view idealism with disappointment and suppose it will eventually lead to trouble are just ones who do not understand the qualities of idealism.
【按照上面的思路，我想你用两个例子来证明无非是无话可说，对不对？这样的话，你把上面童话故事再改改，教育小朋友会更合适】
In fact, idealism is the most loveliness ideology of human being. Through it, human not only criticize the scandals in human society, but express their desire or will that may not come true easily in reality and point to a direction human being must struggle for their realization. Many paintings of Pablo Picasso during the Second World War lashed the cruelty of wars and homicides. The popular flim "Harry potter" firms the audiences' belief that both rightness and braveness are of vital importance【of great importance】 in one's character and will eventually lead to accomplishment. It is through idealism that human being【beings】 build the beliefs towards tomorrow and they endured temporary disappointment they come across during the thousands of years passed by in the hope of a equality and liberate world.

From the reasons mentioned above, we could conclude that in spite of some misunderstanding against idealism, idealism is actually the expression of human being's kind wish and will bring human with hope and eudemonia other than frustration or trouble.
总体上讲，文章写的不错，希望再接再厉，一些小的错误自己检查一下再传上来，现在这个时期处理的文章很多，小错误我们视而不见却也对不起自己的良心，希望你能意识到这个问题。

冥界星灿UID: 184746

davidjacky，非常感谢！！！^_^

语法和拼写的问题大家都在说，我水平是太烂了，自己检查怎么看怎么对，很多时候WORD也检不出来。唉唉艾！！！

真的很郁闷的说。到考试还不知怎么办,唉。大家有没有给支支招的？我该怎么办呢？