issue51 机经限时

foreverlovesUID: 166930

Issue51  Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

Will education be truly effective is it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of every student? The issue claims so and I tend to disagree, in that the term "effective" has different meanings according to different circumstances. Moreover, in the long run, students should be instilled with several basic disciplines which will benefit them in there aftertime life.

Admittedly, if the term " effective" is defined in relate to the individuals, then  to satisfy the individual needs and interests of each students ,which I take leave to doubt if it is possible to implement, can see great benefit in short times. After all, interest is the best teacher. A student who takes a intensive interest in a certain subject will find learning is not such a boring thing and will devote himself/herself wholly to it. In this condition, he/she can always learn fast and more efficiently and is more likely to succeed.

On the contrary, if "effective is defined as the cost performance of the school, it is not so easy a question. As we know, everyone bears different characters. Even we were born in different places, brought up in different circumstances before we enter school. Therefore we have totally different interest towards things. Some may be good at language study, others may be have great interest in mathematics and physics. Therefore, it is very difficult, in a sense impossible, to meet the needs and interests of each student. If any school tried this, it must be a demanding job. For example , in order to satisfy a students who loves painting , a teacher who are skilled at painting should be provided .if students in the school has one thousand  different hobbies ,then one thousand different competent teacher good at different subjects should be employed ,trained and provided ,if this is possible to achieve maybe if it is a question of money ,then we say it is not effective for the school.

In addition, every student should learn certain basic subject such as maths and science. The former is a fundamental tool in students' future career and the latter tells students the basic ways of thinking. If a student just pursue his interest and ignore these subjects, he would possibly find it is difficult for him to make great achievement in his chosen career. This is not effective in the long run either to the students himself or to the whole society.  For example, a student who wishes to be a detective story writer should learn some chemistry, medicine, in order to render his work more vivid and impressive.

In sum, from the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that to meet every students' needs and interest is no more than a illusion . It is not effective in the long run.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

互改一下吧 :)
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=248656

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

Issue51 Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

Will education be truly effective is it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of every student? The issue claims so and I tend to disagree, in that the term "effective" has different meanings according to different circumstances. Moreover, in the long run, students should be instilled with several basic disciplines which will benefit them in there aftertime life.好久没有看到意思这么清楚的开头了

Admittedly, if the term " effective" is defined in relate? to the individuals, then to satisfy the individual needs and interests of each students ,which I take leave to doubt if it is possible to implement, can see great benefit in short times. After all, interest is the best teacher. A student who takes a intensive interest in a certain subject will find learning is not such a boring thing and will devote himself/herself wholly to it. In this condition, he/she can always learn fast and more efficiently and is more likely to succeed.

On the contrary不妥,however, if "effective is defined as the [U]cost performance [/U]什么意思?  of the school, it is not so easy a question. .还是建议把意思说出来 be specific [U]As we know, everyone bears different characters. Even we were born in different places, brought up in different circumstances before we enter school. Therefore we have totally different interest towards things. [/U] .这个意思说的罗嗦 Some may be good at language study, others may be have great interest in mathematics and physics. Therefore, it is very difficult, in a sense impossible, to meet the needs and interests of each student. If any school tried this, it must be a demanding job. For example , in order to satisfy a students who loves painting , a teacher who are skilled at painting should be provided .if students in the school has one thousand different hobbies ,then one thousand different competent teacher good at different subjects should be employed ,trained and provided ,if this is possible to achieve maybe if it is a question of money ,then we say it is not effective for the school..这个段落缺乏一个有力的ts,而且一个意思翻来覆去的说,罗嗦了.

In addition, every student should learn certain basic subject such as maths and science.还是一个毛病,要提炼以下自己的意思. The former is a fundamental tool in students' future career and the latter tells students the basic ways of thinking. If a student just pursue his interest and ignore these subjects, he would possibly find it is difficult for him to make great achievement in his chosen career. This is not effective in the long run either to the students himself or to the whole society. For example, a student who wishes to be a detective story writer should learn some chemistry, medicine, in order to render his work more vivid and impressive..要说明以兴趣为导向的教育容易忽视基础教育,这个你认为是自然能想到的,但是论证就要严密一点

In sum, from the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that to meet every students' needs and interest is no more than a illusion . It is not effective in the long run.

.开头结尾不罗嗦,意思也很清晰,可惜中心提炼的不好,加油.

foreverlovesUID: 166930

Admittedly, if the term " effective" is defined in relate? To[是不是要改成relating to 呢,或者in relation to,假如我要表达涉及的意思,查了字典了,是in relation to] the individuals, then to satisfy the individual needs and interests of each students ,which I take leave to doubt if it is possible to implement, can see great benefit in short times. After all, interest is the best teacher. A student who takes a intensive interest in a certain subject will find learning is not such a boring thing and will devote himself/herself wholly to it. In this condition, he/she can always learn fast and more efficiently and is more likely to succeed.

On the contrary不妥,however,[恩] if "effective is defined as the cost performance 什么意思?[我想说是对学校来说的投入产出比,不知道用哪个词好,版主推荐一个] of the school, it is not so easy a question. .还是建议把意思说出来 be specific As we know, everyone bears different characters. Even we were born in different places, brought up in different circumstances before we enter school. Therefore we have totally different interest towards things. .这个意思说的罗嗦 Some may be good at language study, others may be have great interest in mathematics and physics. Therefore, it is very difficult, in a sense impossible, to meet the needs and interests of each student. If any school tried this, it must be a demanding job. For example , in order to satisfy a students who loves painting , a teacher who are skilled at painting should be provided .if students in the school has one thousand different hobbies ,then one thousand different competent teacher good at different subjects should be employed ,trained and provided ,if this is possible to achieve maybe if it is a question of money ,then we say it is not effective for the school..这个段落缺乏一个有力的ts,而且一个意思翻来覆去的说,罗嗦了.[应该多想几层意思]

In addition, every student should learn certain basic subject such as maths and science.还是一个毛病,要提炼以下自己的意思.The former is a fundamental tool in students' future career and the latter tells students the basic ways of thinking. If a student just pursue his interest and ignore these subjects, he would possibly find it is difficult for him to make great achievement in his chosen career. This is not effective in the long run either to the students himself or to the whole society. For example, a student who wishes to be a detective story writer should learn some chemistry, medicine, in order to render his work more vivid and impressive..要说明以兴趣为导向的教育容易忽视基础教育,这个你认为是自然能想到的,但是论证就要严密一点



感觉自己一直不会结尾,加上时间紧,所以结尾都写不好,郁闷中,斑竹有什么建议,多谢啦

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

if effective is defined as creating the largest value at lowest cost?  不确定呢

结尾可以强调一下你论述的重点 把你觉得最重要再重申一遍, 当然更好的是深化主题(不过小心画蛇添足)

clearskyUID: 195091

Will education be truly effective is [这里是不是应该是when]it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of every student? The issue claims so and I tend to disagree, in that the term "effective" has different meanings according to different circumstances. Moreover, in the long run, students should be instilled with several basic disciplines which will benefit them in there[这里应该是their吧] aftertime life.

Admittedly, if the term " effective" is defined in relate to the individuals, then to satisfy the individual needs and interests of each students ,which I take leave to doubt if it is possible to implement, can see great benefit in short times. After all, interest is the best teacher. A student who takes a intensive interest in a certain subject will find learning is not such a boring thing and will devote himself/herself wholly to it. In this condition, he/she can always learn fast and more efficiently and is more likely to succeed.

On the contrary, if "effective is defined as the cost performance of the school, it is not so easy a question. As we know, everyone bears different characters. Even we were born in different places, brought up in different circumstances before we enter school. Therefore we have totally different interest towards things. Some may be good at language study, others may be have great interest in mathematics and physics. Therefore, it is very difficult, in a sense impossible, to meet the needs and interests of each student. If any school tried this, it must be a demanding job. For example , in order to satisfy a students[s单复数] who loves painting , a teacher who are skilled at painting should be provided .if students in the school has one thousand different hobbies ,then one thousand different competent teacher good at different subjects should be employed ,trained and provided ,if this is possible to achieve maybe if it is a question of money ,then we say it is not effective for the school.

In addition, every student should learn certain basic subject such as maths and science. The former is a fundamental tool in students' future career and the latter tells students the basic ways of thinking. If a student just pursue his interest and ignore these subjects, he would possibly find it is difficult for him to make great achievement in his chosen career[这句是否可改为he would possibly find it difficult to make great achievement in his chosen career,主语he后面不必再加个for him]. This is not effective in the long run either to the students himself or to the whole society. For example, a student who wishes to be a detective story writer should learn some chemistry, medicine, in order to render his work more vivid and impressive.

In sum, from the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that to meet every students' needs and interest is no more than a illusion . It is not effective in the long run[这个词组是不是可以换一下，一共在文中出现了三次，你是不是想说从长远来说？还是最终？因为不确定你在这儿的意图，所以没法给你建议。如果有可以替代的词汇或短语，建议换一下].


感觉只是改了一些单复数方面的笔误，呵呵。关于论证方面现在我的概念也比较模糊。不过，我个人认为版主的建议挺有启发的。

foreverlovesUID: 166930

谢谢你的建议,单复数一限时就总是写不对,我记得在WORD里面改过的,


我的语言是比较的差劲,最常见的毛病是最后结尾的时候把TS重复一遍,因为词汇量太小了
都不知道哪些词可以替换
in the long run 我想表达的是从长远来看,不知道有什么好词呢

着急啊

clearskyUID: 195091

hehe
in the long term 就可以
其实我觉得写的时候如果找不到可以替代的词语或词组，与其不断的重复，倒不如换个说法或角度表达这个意思。