argument156 限时完成，低级错误已经解决。请大家着重看看逻辑方面的问题。必回拍

jackey737UID: 149062

－－－题目

156.The following is taken from an advertisement placed in a weekly business magazine by the Dickens Academy.

"We distributed a survey to senior management at International Mega-Publishing, Inc. The result of the survey clearly indicates that many employees were well prepared in business knowledge and computer skills, but lacked interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. International Mega-Publishing decided to improve customer satisfaction by sending their newly hired employees to our one-day seminars. Since taking advantage of our program, International Mega-Publishing has seen a sharp increase in sales, an indication that the number of their disgruntled customers has declined significantly. Your company should hire Dickens and let us turn every employee into an ambassador for your company."

－－－翻译
我们对International Mega-Publishing, Inc的高层管理人员进行了一次调查。调查结果清楚地显示很多员工在商业知识和计算机技能方面准备充足，但是缺乏与客户得体沟通的人际交往能力。International Mega-Publishing决定通过让他们的新员工参加我们为期一天的研讨会来提高客户满意度。在参加了我们的课程之后，International Mega-Publishing的销量急剧上升，这表明不满意的顾客数量显著下降。你们公司应该聘用Dickens来让我们把每名员工变成你们公司的大使.

－－－正文
    In this argument, the arguer concludes that all the employees in every company should take the one-day seminars to improve the interpersonal skills. The arguer points out that at International Mega-Publishing, Inc the newly hired employees have greatly benefit from the seminars. Yet this seemingly well-reasoned argument suffers from several logical flaws.

    First of all, as the conductor of the survey is the Dickens Academy, the reliability of the results is doubtful. It is entirely possible that the conductor ask trended questions or unfairly modified the procedure of the survey in order to get satisfied results. In this case, the actual fact may be that the employees at International Mega-Publishing, Inc do not lack the interpersonal skills, and also interact gracefully with their customers before entering the seminars. On the other hand, the arguer fails to provide the total number of the employees in this company, so that the actual percentage of the employees who lack the interpersonal skills is unknown. Possibly, it is only a small portion. As a result, the result of the survey could not conclude the contention.

  Secondly, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the seminars and the performance of the employees. This seemingly cause-and-effect relationship could not blind us to the other causes of the employees' performance. It is possible that it is the enlighten regulation that lead to a sharp increase in sales. Also, it is likely that the other consulters of the company may increase the performance of the employees, so that the cases of the disgruntled customs declined. Including all the factors, other factors such as the reputation, management skills, etc, would also improve the sales. Without ruling out all the possibilities, the arguer could not claims that the seminar indeed improve the performance of the employees.

  Last but not least, the arguer hastily concludes that all other employees in all other companies should take the seminars. It is quite possible that as the differences among these companies, the same results could not happen. For example, the company of which the most employees do the manual work apparently does not need this seminar at all. Moreover, it is possible that some companies' employees already own interpersonal skills and interact gracefully with customers. For that matter, the conclusion is unwarranted.

  In sum, the arguer fails to provide substantial evidence to corroborate the contention. Lest more and more loopholes come to the surface, the arguer should modify the procedure of the survey and provide more information about the other companies.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

占一个
晚上改

mythztUID: 162409

In this argument, the arguer concludes that all the employees in every company should take the one-day seminars to improve the interpersonal skills. The arguer points out that at International Mega-Publishing, Inc the newly hired employees have greatly benefit(benefited) from the seminars. Yet this seemingly well-reasoned argument suffers from several logical flaws.

First of all, as the conductor of the survey is the Dickens Academy, the reliability of the results is doubtful. It is entirely possible that the conductor ask(asked) trended questions or unfairly modified the procedure of the survey in order to get satisfied results. In this case, the actual fact may be that the employees at International Mega-Publishing, Inc do not lack the interpersonal skills, and also(似乎可删去also) interact gracefully with their customers before entering the seminars. On the other hand, the arguer fails to provide the total number of the employees in this company, so that the actual percentage of the employees who lack the interpersonal skills is unknown. Possibly, it is only a small portion. As a result, the result of the survey could not conclude the contention(conclude the contention表达有问题).个人认为将此段拆分为两段写会好些，毕竟前面一部分谈的是既得利益(Vested Interest)，后面是survey本身存在的样本未知问题

Secondly, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the seminars and the performance of the employees. This seemingly cause-and-effect relationship could not blind us to the other causes of the employees' performance. It is possible that it is the enlighten(enlighten是动词吧？应该要换个词) regulation that lead(若前面是单数则改为leads) to a sharp increase in sales. Also, it is likely that the other consulters of the company may increase(improve会好一些吧？) the performance of the employees, so that the cases of the disgruntled customs declined. Including这里要表达的应该是“除了这些因素”吧？Excluding? all the factors, other factors such as the reputation, management skills, etc, would also improve the sales. Without ruling out all the possibilities, the arguer could not claims(claim) that the seminar indeed improve(improves) the performance of the employees.

Last but not least, the arguer hastily concludes that all other employees in all other companies should take the seminars. It is quite possible that as the differences among these companies, the same results could not happen.(此句改写为“It is quite possible that the same results will not happen due the differences among these companies.”会不会好些？) For example, the company of which the most employees do the manual work apparently does not need this seminar at all. Moreover, it is possible that some companies' employees already own interpersonal skills and interact gracefully with customers(and后面跟第一段中的表达有点重复). For that matter, the conclusion is unwarranted.

In sum, the arguer fails to provide substantial evidence to corroborate the contention. Lest more and more loopholes come to the surface, the arguer should modify the procedure of the survey and provide more information about the other companies.

一点拙见，见笑！

jackey737UID: 149062

^_^^_^ 多谢二楼的指点， 看来有些低级错误还没有清除干净！！！
－－－“个人认为将此段拆分为两段写会好些，毕竟前面一部分谈的是既得利益(Vested Interest)，后面是survey本身存在的样本未知问题”
   我本来也是想分为两段的，但一方面因为时间比较紧（打字速度慢啊！！），另一方面我想都是和SURVEY有关，应该不要紧吧？？？ 大家认为呢？？？
－－－“这里要表达的应该是“除了这些因素”吧？”
   我这里是要表达“包括”的意思，即这些因素和在一起。

多谢楼主了！！！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

No.1 argument156 限时完成，低级错误已经解决。请大家着重看看逻辑方面的问题。必回拍！！！
－－－题目

156.The following is taken from an advertisement placed in a weekly business magazine by the Dickens Academy.

"We distributed a survey to senior management at International Mega-Publishing, Inc. The result of the survey clearly indicates that many employees were well prepared in business knowledge and computer skills, but lacked interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. International Mega-Publishing decided to improve customer satisfaction by sending their newly hired employees to our one-day seminars. Since taking advantage of our program, International Mega-Publishing has seen a sharp increase in sales, an indication that the number of their disgruntled customers has declined significantly. Your company should hire Dickens and let us turn every employee into an ambassador for your company."

－－－翻译
我们对International Mega-Publishing, Inc的高层管理人员进行了一次调查。调查结果清楚地显示很多员工在商业知识和计算机技能方面准备充足，但是缺乏与客户得体沟通的人际交往能力。International Mega-Publishing决定通过让他们的新员工参加我们为期一天的研讨会来提高客户满意度。在参加了我们的课程之后，International Mega-Publishing的销量急剧上升，这表明不满意的顾客数量显著下降。你们公司应该聘用Dickens来让我们把每名员工变成你们公司的大使.

－－－正文
In this argument, the arguer concludes that all the employees in every company should take the one-day seminars to improve the interpersonal skills. The arguer points out that at International Mega-Publishing, Inc the newly hired employees have greatly benefit【benefited？这里只说benefit有点含糊】from the seminars. Yet this seemingly well-reasoned argument suffers from several logical flaws. 【对于你自己的观点应该多点笔墨，作者的观点错在哪里，你打算如何反驳，可以大概的说一下。而restate的部分不该太多】

First of all, as the conductor of the survey is the Dickens Academy, the reliability of the results is doubtful. It is entirely possible that the conductor ask【asks】trended questions or unfairly modified the procedure of the survey in order to get satisfied results. In this case, the actual fact may be that the employees at International Mega-Publishing, Inc do not lack the interpersonal skills, and also interact gracefully with their customers before entering the seminars. On the other hand, the arguer fails to provide the total number of the employees in this company, so that the actual percentage of the employees who lack the interpersonal skills is unknown. Possibly, it is only a small portion. As a result, the result of the survey could not conclude the contention. 【我认为survey的错误一般主要在于样本是否足够大，取样是否随机，你前半段说的也是一种可能，不过我觉得应该把主要的问题写在前面】

Secondly, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the seminars and the performance of the employees. This seemingly cause-and-effect relationship could not blind us to the other causes of the employees' performance. It is possible that it is the enlighten regulation that lead to a sharp increase in sales. Also, it is likely that the other consulters of the company may increase the performance of the employees, 【consulter提高了员工的表现？？你是想说consulter的意见可能导致一些改进吧】so that the cases of the disgruntled customs declined. 【我觉得不应该承认这一点的，因为题目对于顾客抱怨下降这一点是属于猜测出来的，所以应该驳斥这一点的】Including all the factors, other factors such as the reputation, management skills, etc, would also improve the sales. Without ruling out all the possibilities, the arguer could not claims that the seminar indeed improve 【improves】the performance of the employees.

Last but not least, the arguer hastily concludes that all other employees in all other companies should take the seminars. It is quite possible that as the differences among these companies, the same results could not happen. 【我觉得results不能说是happen的，应该是make，gain之类的】 For example, the company of which the most employees do the manual work apparently does not need this seminar at all. Moreover, it is possible that some companies' employees already own interpersonal skills and interact gracefully with customers. For that matter, the conclusion is unwarranted.

In sum, the arguer fails to provide substantial evidence to corroborate the contention. Lest more and more loopholes come to the surface, the arguer should modify the procedure of the survey and provide more information about the other companies. 【总结的简略了一点，应该说要给出证据，survey样本是否足够大，足够random，还有要证明seminar和销售量提高的关系等等，总结的内容要全面一点】
【思路和语言都没有什么问题，反驳的过程有的地方还是需要进一步提高的。基本上不错。加油！】

jackey737UID: 149062

哦，明白斑竹的意思了。
主要时开头和结尾还要加强一些。
多谢，多谢，收获不小阿！！！