issue221 学习历史好处，谢谢大家拍砖，只有４天了！

ouenoUID: 194212

------题目------
The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.
------正文------
What is the chief benefit of the study of history? I agree with the author that studying history can break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history. However, this is only one of the benefits of studying history, whose true aim is to educate people and spread abroad the traditional culture among people.

Firstly, history tells us that people in one period time are mostly similar to those lived at any other time. No matter in what period of time in history, people all seek for peaceful, healthy, comfortable life, while they abhor wars, diseases, starvation, and poverty. Ancient people work diligently to achieve these goals, which is also the methods of modern people in pursuit of wealth and fortune. However, with the development of economy and technology, new contradictions appear in social life and make modern people’s life a little different from that of their ancestors. In market economy, competition constitutes an important part of life, without which people are unable to achieve success and may lose the game of life. As a result, modern society nurtures some social problems which in otherwise time have never upset people, such as high crime rate among the youth, drug addiction, AIDS, abnormal gender inclination, and so forth. The appearance of these problems to some extent reveals the declining of humanities and mental poverty of modern people, where lies the chief difference with the ancient.

In addition to helping people recognize the similarities among the ancient and the modern, the chief benefit of history is to educate the later generation to remember the history, to be alert to make similar mistakes. Every nation inevitably has made some mistakes in its history and the study of them can prevent us from making the same mistake twice. For example, the Nazis German has slaughtered millions of people during the World War II, which strongly disturbed the peace of the world and brought a great disaster to human being, especially the Jewish. To prevent the revitalization of these disasters, every year on the memorial day of World War II, the Germany government reminds the nation of the unpleasant history, warns its people the irremediable results and emphasizes the importance of peace. Chinese people can also learn from the story of Genghis Khan that tyranny will never preserve power, instead it will arouse resistance and wars of its citizens. Actually only in a democratic nation, can there be a stable government and politics.  

Finally, the history also instructs us of the traditional culture of the nation, which may enhance  our emotion and commitment to the national loyalty. For instance, the heroes in social life such as Washington, Gandhi, and so forth, set us a good example of the fine merits of the nation, including love, charity, honesty and braveness. The great artists in history strengthen out love to the nation by leaving us many precious works of high value, which reflect the beautiful scenery of the country, the benevolence of the ancient people and the grandness of traditional culture. The advanced creation of our ancestors reveals the great wisdom of the nation. This glorious past endows people with a sense of pride over other nations and impetus them to work harder to contribute more for the outstanding nation.

In sum, history can benefits us by breaking down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from those at other time, besides, the main purpose of history is to remind its future generation of the mistakes of the nation and show the glorious past to them to facilitate their inherence of the precious culture legacy.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

占一个
等我晚上改

鬼谷子UID: 159645

No.1 issue221 学习历史好处，谢谢大家拍砖，只有４天了！
------题目------
The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.
------正文------
What is the chief benefit of the study of history? I agree with the author that studying history can break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history. 【即使要restate也不能一字不改的抄下来，会让判卷人认为你lazy而且没有缺乏creativity，用自己的语言去转换一下】 However, this is only one of the benefits of studying history, whose true aim is to educate people and spread abroad the traditional culture among people. 【把传统文化传播到国外？这个是历史的目的吗？怀疑】

Firstly, history tells us that people in one period time are mostly similar to those lived at any other time. No matter in what period of time in history, people all seek for peaceful, healthy, comfortable life, while they abhor wars, diseases, starvation, and poverty. Ancient people work diligently to achieve these goals, which is also the methods【单复数要一致！】 of modern people in pursuit of wealth and fortune. 【貌似these goals不是直等于wealth and fortune 】However, with the development of economy and technology, new contradictions appear in social life and make modern people’s life a little different from that of their ancestors. In market economy, competition constitutes an important part of life, without which people are unable to achieve success and may lose the game of life. As a result, modern society nurtures some social problems which in otherwise time have never upset people, such as high crime rate among the youth, drug addiction, AIDS, abnormal gender inclination, and so forth. The appearance of these problems to some extent reveals the declining of humanities and mental poverty of modern people, where lies the chief difference with the ancient. 【用了这么多的篇幅来说difference，前后矛盾，到底你要同意题目观点还是反对？】

In addition to helping people recognize the similarities among the ancient and the modern, the chief benefit of history is to educate the later generation to remember the history, to be alert to make similar mistakes. 【你这样说就是承认了题目说的是历史的chief benefit，只不过是chief benefit还有其他。应该把chief 去掉，而且前调其他方面的重要性高于题目说的，这样才符合你的观点】 Every nation inevitably has made some mistakes in its history and the study of them can prevent us from making the same mistake twice. 【again】For example, the Nazis German has 【had】slaughtered millions of people during the World War II, which strongly disturbed【destroyed】 the peace of the world and brought a great disaster to human being, especially the Jewish【这个是形容词，该是Jew或者Jewish people】. To prevent the revitalization of these disasters, every year on the memorial day of World War II, the Germany 【这个是名词，该是German】government reminds the nation of the unpleasant history, warns its people the irremediable results and emphasizes the importance of peace. Chinese people can also learn from the story of Genghis Khan that tyranny will never preserve power, instead it will arouse resistance and wars of its citizens. Actually only in a democratic nation, can there be a stable government and politics. 【这个是对于历史的态度，不算是历史研究的作用，偏了】

Finally, the history also instructs us of the traditional culture of the nation, which may enhance our emotion and commitment【这两个能够enhance吗？】 to the national loyalty. 【patriotism？】 For instance, the heroes in social life such as Washington, Gandhi, and so forth, set us a good example【应该是good examples】 of the fine merits of the nation, including love, charity, honesty and braveness. The great artists in history strengthen out love to the nation by leaving us many precious works of high value, which reflect the beautiful scenery of the country, the benevolence of the ancient people and the grandness of traditional culture. The advanced creation of our ancestors reveals the great wisdom of the nation. This glorious past endows people with a sense of pride over other nations and impetus them to work harder to contribute more for the outstanding nation. 【你说的spread abroad没有提到，而且，同样，感觉这些也不算是study of history】

In sum, history can benefits us by breaking down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from those at other time, besides, the main purpose of history is to remind its future generation of the mistakes of the nation and show the glorious past to them to facilitate their inherence of the precious culture legacy.
【其实思路是好的，但是论证的过程中总有偏离，语言也要注意准确，加油！】

ouenoUID: 194212

谢谢斑竹的指点 :)
几个问题:
1.spread abroad能表示广泛传播的意思吗?因为查到abroad有"广泛的"意思
2 第一段好象先赞成后反对是矛盾了, 斑竹认为可否去掉反对那部分, 然后直接说下面两段才是chief benefits

要改的部分:
1 开头段不能重复
2 语言表达有ambiguity, 尤其是每段ts
3 单复数

ps:马上就要考了, 不知还有否存活的希望啊 :(

鬼谷子UID: 159645

spread widely更好的我也没想到
你反对你部分可以拿出来在后面做一个让步段
要有信心哦！你的水平还是可以的！

ouenoUID: 194212

如果"反对"做让步段, 让步段就要放在B2了,
这样结构会显得不协调吗
而且这与后面两段说历史其它好处关系不大呀

谢谢斑竹的鼓励啊 :)