Issue22 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

shangyan84UID: 193229

请注意正文的格式，我已经给修改过了
每段开头不要空格，段间空一行
请写完后贴到word里面修改一下格式，让其看起来整齐，否则很难得到别人的修改

GOOD LUCK

------------------by POOH

Issue22  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户   
从2005年1月19日18时0分到2005年1月19日18时55分
Many people believe that a few individuals or small groups (family, friends, teachers,celebrities, for example) have caused them to think and behave in the way they do. Yet it is always society as a whole that defines us and our attitudes, not a few individuals.
------正文------

There is much debate over the issue that who define  us and our attitudes, on the one hand ,some people believe that a few individuals or small groups do, on the other hand, others maintain that the most important thing is the society. in my point of view, it is the society not the individual that plays the important role.


In the first place, we all live in the big society--------the earth, so that is the
first reason influences us .for example , there are so many people devote themselves to protecting and improving the living environment of human being ,because they learn about the fact that  both the earth and human being are facing. that is a small example that the biggest society defines us and our attitudes. when it comes to other aspects ,it is the same: nowadays there is a famous word-----globalization ,that influent ourselves at many fields---economy , education even the fashion.


In the second place ,a individual lives in a small society :a village ,a city , a
country ,what is the other important reason to oneselves. in addition, if a society emphasis the education and the competitions between students, there must be so many people to try their best to study , epitomized in Japan and in China . every society of different countries  has different features. for example ,some persons have never eaten beef since they are born because their country think the bull are the god.

Last but not the least ,some one may say that now the super stars have the huge influence to so many people ,they even determine the styles of the popular clothes; the different  parents more or less define their children and their every aspects ; whether you have made good friends could determine your lives. Are that influence of a few individuals or small groups (family, friends, teachers, celebrities, for example) .nevertheless, why the small groups have different thoughts, because the society in fluent them.

To sum up ,due to the above mentioned reasons, we will have the conclusion that our attitudes and our characters are determined by the society not a few individuals or small groups.

poohUID: 146994

你的作文更像是托福作文，are you sure 你已经知道gre作文的要求了吗？请先学习范文，了解要求，再把精华区的文章好好看一下 :)

蓝清UID: 158106

SCORE


  6        A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the complexities of the issue and conveys meaning skillfully.

A typical paper in this category

--        presents an insightful position on the issue
--        develops the position with compelling reasons and/or persuasive examples
--        sustains a well-focused, well-organized analysis, connecting ideas logically
--        expresses ideas fluently and precisely, using effective vocabulary and sentence variety
--        demonstrates facility with the conventions (i.e., grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard written English but may have minor errors

___________________________________________________________________________

  5        A 5 paper presents a generally thoughtful, well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue and conveys meaning clearly.

A typical paper in this category

--        presents a well-considered position on the issue
--        develops the position with logically sound reasons and/or well-chosen examples
--        is focused and generally well organized, connecting ideas appropriately
--        expresses ideas clearly and well, using appropriate vocabulary and sentence variety
--        demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English but may have minor errors

___________________________________________________________________________

  4        A 4 paper presents a competent analysis of the issue and conveys meaning adequately.

A typical paper in this category

--        presents a clear position on the issue
--        develops the position on the issue with relevant reasons and/or examples
--        is adequately focused and organized
--        expresses ideas with reasonable clarity
--        generally demonstrates control of the conventions of standard written English but may have some errors

___________________________________________________________________________

  3        A 3 paper demonstrates some competence in its analysis of the issue and in conveying meaning but is obviously flawed.

A typical paper in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

--        is vague or limited in presenting or developing a position on the issue
--        is weak in the use of relevant reasons or examples
--        is poorly focused and/or poorly organized
--        has problems in language and sentence structure that result in a lack of clarity
--        contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that can interfere with meaning

___________________________________________________________________________

  2        A 2 paper demonstrates serious weaknesses in analytical writing.

A typical paper in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

--        is unclear or seriously limited in presenting or developing a position on the issue
--        provides few, if any, relevant reasons or examples
--        is unfocused and/or disorganized
--        has serious problems in the use of language and sentence structure that frequently interfere with meaning
--        contains serious errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that frequently obscure meaning

___________________________________________________________________________

  1        A 1 paper demonstrates fundamental deficiencies in analytical writing.

A typical paper in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

--        provides little or no evidence of the ability to understand and analyze the issue
--        provides little or no evidence of the ability to develop an organized response
--        has severe problems in language and sentence structure that persistently interfere with meaning
--        contains pervasive errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that result in incoherence

___________________________________________________________________________

  0        Off topic (i.e., provides no evidence of an attempt to respond to the assigned topic), in a foreign language, merely copies the topic, consists of only keystroke characters, or is illegible or nonverbal.
        ___________________________________________________________________________

NS        Blank.

Copyright ?2003 Educational Testing Service

蓝清UID: 158106

SCORE


  6        A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated critique of the argument and conveys meaning skillfully.

A typical paper in this category

--        clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them insightfully
--        develops ideas cogently, organizes them logically, and connects them with clear transitions
--        effectively supports the main points of the critique
--        demonstrates control of language, including appropriate word choice and sentence variety
--        demonstrates facility with the conventions (i.e., grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard written English but may have minor errors

___________________________________________________________________________

  5        A 5 paper presents a generally thoughtful, well-developed critique of the argument and conveys meaning clearly.

A typical paper in this category

--        clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them in a generally perceptive way
--        develops ideas clearly, organizes them logically, and connects them with appropriate transitions
--        sensibly supports the main points of the critique
--        demonstrates control of language, including appropriate word choice and sentence variety
--        demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English but may have minor errors

___________________________________________________________________________

  4        A 4 paper presents a competent critique of the argument and conveys meaning adequately.

A typical paper in this category

--        identifies and analyzes important features of the argument
--        develops and organizes ideas satisfactorily but may not connect them with transitions
--        supports the main points of the critique
--        demonstrates sufficient control of language to express ideas with reasonable clarity
--        generally demonstrates control of the conventions of standard written English but may have some errors

___________________________________________________________________________

  3        A 3 paper demonstrates some competence in its critique of the argument and in conveying meaning but is obviously flawed.

A typical paper in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

--        does not identify or analyze most of the important features of the argument, although some analysis of the argument is present
--        mainly analyzes tangential or irrelevant matters, or reasons poorly
--        is limited in the logical development and organization of ideas
--        offers support of little relevance and value for points of the critique
--        lacks clarity in expressing ideas
--        contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that can interfere with meaning

___________________________________________________________________________

  2        A 2 paper demonstrates serious weaknesses in analytical writing.

A typical paper in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

--        does not present a critique based on logical analysis, but may instead present the writer's own views on the subject
--        does not develop ideas, or is disorganized and illogical
--        provides little, if any, relevant or reasonable support
--        has serious problems in the use of language and in sentence structure that frequently interfere with meaning
--        contains serious errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that frequently obscure meaning

___________________________________________________________________________

  1        A 1 paper demonstrates fundamental deficiencies in analytical writing

A typical paper in this category exhibits MORE THAN ONE of the following characteristics:

--        provides little or no evidence of the ability to understand and analyze the argument
--        provides little or no evidence of the ability to develop an organized response
--        has severe problems in language and sentence structure that persistently interfere with meaning
--        contains pervasive errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that result in incoherence

___________________________________________________________________________

  0        Off topic (i.e., provides no evidence of an attempt to respond to the assigned topic), in a foreign language, merely copies the topic, consists of only keystroke characters, or is illegible or nonverbal.
       
___________________________________________________________________________

NS        Blank.

Copyright ?2003 Educational Testing Service

shangyan84UID: 193229

谢谢，关于格式的问题我一定会注意的，非常不好意思。
关于我的文章，说实话很受打击，但我会继续努力的，麻烦你们再帮我指出一下我的具体问题，是逻辑啊，还是文笔不行啊，我现在有点迷茫。
非常感谢

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

或许都不是问题。
建议你先看看范文好么？ 精华区有下载。
每个考试都有自己的规则和规范，掌握好这个才能取得满意的成绩呢。

shangyan84UID: 193229

谢谢，我已经下载好多了，一定仔细研究
昨天和今天我又看了一遍要求，可是我觉得挺空的，我也知道哪些，看来我还是短练
总之，非常感谢。