Argument84 第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

ponponUID: 181304

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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：76分6秒     458 words
从2005年1月22日14时24分到2005年1月22日15时30分
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The following appeared in a memo written by the head of the Gorham School.
'Our school cafeteria should make changes in the lunches that it serves in order to improve the health of our students. Several teachers and I have observed that students who eat these meals tend to eat the main course and the dessert, but seldom finish the vegetable portion. This pattern means that students are missing the vital nutritional benefits of fruits and vegetables, which are typically rich in vitamins and minerals. Therefore, the school cafeteria should serve larger fruit and vegetable portions along with smaller main course and dessert portions. This change will be effective because, according to research conducted at the Rose Children's Hospital, children eat the same amount of food served to them—about 55 percent, on average—no matter what the main course is.'
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In this argument, the arguer recommands that the school cafeteria should serve larger fruit and vegetable portions along with smaller main course and dessert portions. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer points out that students seldom finish the vegetable portion, and are missing the vital nutritional benefits of fruits and vegetables. In addition, the arguer cite a research conducted at the Rose Children's Hospital to prove his conclusion.

In the first place, the argument make a hasty conclusion about the observation. Even if  the students tend to eat the main course and the dessert and seldom finish the vegetable portion, it can not automatically lead to the saying that the students are missing the vital nutritional benefits of fruits and vegetables. for one thing, perhaps, the students eat much vegetable and fruit at supper or they usually eat much fruit at home, thus,  they does not lack of vital nutritional benefits of fruits and vegetables. for another thing, they are many other food that are rich in vitamins and minerals except vegetables and fruits, the students can eat them instead of the vegetable to supply the nutrition, therefore, eating less of vegetables does not mean the students do not  have enough vitamins and minerals, the teachers should do a detailed health research to check out whether the students lack of vitamins and minerals.

In the second place, the arguer make a false comparsion between the school and the hospital. The research conducted at the Rose Children's Hospital is not about the school's students, and the respondents are different, consequentially, the result of the research may be not applicable to the students, for instance, children eat about 55 percent of the food on average-no matter what the main course is according to the research, however, the students may eat more than that such as 70% or 80%, the percent is possible to change after the change.

At the end ,the conclusion about the change is arbitrary . firstly, it is just the arguer's conjecture, how can they know serving larger fruit and vegetable portions along with smaller main course and dessert portions are reasonable? What on earth does the fruit and vegetable take in the lunch? secondly, in commonsense, it is possible that the students would be easily hungry if they eat smaller main course, so the school should carry out a clearly research before the change and can not make a conclusion so hasty.

In a word, the argument is not well reasoned because the evidences cited in the analysis does not lead strongly to support the argument. To make it logically, the arguer have to provide more evidence concerning the conditons of the student's health. Additionally, he should cite useful research to prove his conclusion.

dragonflyljUID: 185331

In my opinion, if you make the paragraphs of the article more interconnected, this argument will be an excellent one except for a few grammar mistakes.

ponponUID: 181304

3ks for your ideas