argument 10, 我的第一篇argu，请大家批评，拍我者24小时内必回拍。

hardbeaverUID: 197443

------题目------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.
'The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers.'
------正文------
Before accepting the author's conclusion that regulation should be taken to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers, the evidence and reasoning in this argument should be carefully examined. At first glance, it may seems attactive, but upon reflection, we find that this argument is not very convincing for several reasons.

In the first place, the arguer provides no evidence to conclude that farmers receive excessive profits, which is the precondition of the argument. We know, there are many factors to influence the gaining of profits, such as the cost of products and the exact amount of payoff, the arguer fails to provide information of either, then we can not conclude that whether farmers gain profits or how much they gain. Furthermore, even though farmers gain profits, there is no information of the market condition of other products, without comparison, we cannot know whether dairy farmers gain excessive profits.

In the second place, there exist several defects in the evidence the arguer provided.
We are informed that the number of dairy farms thoughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. The arguer also tell us that during this same time period, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased form $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. First, the fact that the number of dairy farms increases does not equal to that the amount of milk supply increases. Commen sense informs us that the relationship between the quantity and the price of single product is inverse, so we cannot rule out the possibility that when the number of dairy farms increase, the output of each farm decrease, which causes a decrease in the entire production to the market. Second, the amount of product is not the only factor to influence the price, other factors also effect the price, for example, inflations may cause the whole price to rise. Unless every information is provided, it is impossible to draw any firm conclusion about the supply and price.

Finally, the arguer assumes too hastily that taking regulations will certainly ensure an adequate supply of milk. The supply depends on many factors, such as the number of dairy farms, the amount of each farm supplies, etc. In a sense, the rise of price indicates a increasing of the demand to the milk, keeping the price fall would make some suppliers go away, which would cause a deficiency of milk supply to the market.

In conclusion, the persuasiveness of the argument is undermined by the lack of comprehensive analysis of the problem. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence that dairy farmers gain excessive profits when the number of dairy farms increases and the price of milk rises. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the relationship between the regulation and an adequate supply of milk for consumers.

hardbeaverUID: 197443

up

zhangqiang928UID: 188538

明天给你贴上！

有机会请多拍砖,每拍必回拍,多谢


第一篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=250654 issu121
第二篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=250916 argument120
第三篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251025 issue122
第四篇https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251374 issue3@^@#####改一改这篇吧######



当阳光照遍每个角落
心情像风般漂泊不停留
抛开界限 快乐行走
我有属于自己的方式做梦

西安外国语学院 3月25日

cathyantUID: 193285

In the first place, the arguer provides no evidence to conclude that farmers receive excessive profits, which is the precondition of the argument. We know, there are many factors to influence the gaining of profits, such as the cost of products and the exact amount of payoff, the arguer fails to provide information of either, then we can not conclude that whether farmers gain profits or how much they gain. Furthermore, even though farmers gain profits, there is no information of the market condition of other products, without comparison, we cannot know whether dairy farmers gain excessive
要是我的话会主要说说ＣＯＳＴ的问题，由于机械设备更新等造成成本升这样，详细一点好吧？

flyfish9UID: 156664

第一篇能写成这样实属不易了，思路比较清晰:)
提点意见
1. 有些语言不够简洁，所以虽然字数不少，“货”却不多。原题复述和车轱辘话占了一定的比例，特别B2这种感觉很明显
2. 模板痕迹比较重，可能是第一篇，总有这种毛病的。慢慢地变成自己的模板就好了

whxyjUID: 186010

很不错了，头尾很摸板化，哈哈，还满流畅的。
只是第3段，有点点重复和混乱

EVIDENCE的不足中你说道:1.   Number of dairy farms increases does not equal to that the amount of milk supply increases. 应该是成比例，in proportion to
           2. Second, the amount of product is not the only factor to influence the price    题目没有提到吧

zhangqiang928UID: 188538

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.
'The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers.'
------正文------
Before accepting the author's conclusion that regulation should be taken to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers, the evidence and reasoning in this argument should be carefully examined. At first glance, it may seems attractiveattractive, but upon reflection, we find that this argument is not very convincing for several reasons.

In the first place, the arguer provides no evidence to conclude that farmers receive excessive profits, which is the precondition of the argument. As We know, there are many factors to influence the gaining of profits, such as the cost of products and the exact amount of payoff, the arguer fails to provide information of either, then we can not conclude that whether farmers gain profits or how much they gain. Furthermore, even though farmers gain profits, there is no information of the market condition of other products, without comparison, we cannot know whether dairy farmers gain excessive profits.

In the second place, there existare several defects in the evidence the arguer provided.
We are informed that the number of dairy farms thoughoutthroughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. The arguer also tell us that during this same time period, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased form $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. First, the fact that the number of dairy farms increases does not equal to that the amount of milk supply increases. Commencommon sense informs us that the relationship between the quantity and the price of single product is inverse是不是应该是正函数阿，要不主语就要换一下换成农场和农场数量, so we cannot rule out the possibility that when the number of dairy farms increase, the output of each farm decrease, which causes a decrease in the entire production to the market. Second, the amount of product is not the only factor to influence the price, other factors also effect the price, for example, inflations may cause the whole price to rise. Unless every information is provided, it is impossible to draw any firm conclusion about the supply and price.

Finally, the arguer assumes too hastily that taking regulations will certainly ensure an adequate supply of milk. The supply depends on many factors, such as the number of dairy farms, the amount of each farm supplies, etc. In a sense, the rise of price indicates a increasing of the demand to the milk, keeping the price fall would make some suppliers go away, which would cause a deficiency of milk supply to the market.

In conclusion, the persuasiveness of the argument is undermined by the lack of comprehensive analysis of the problem. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence that dairy farmers gain excessive profits when the number of dairy farms increases and the price of milk rises. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the relationship between the regulation and an adequate supply of milk for consumers.


很羡慕你的语言功底，我看过你的大多数文章有很多启示，也感到了自己的浅薄，我只会用简单的句子和词
闲心你一点会考个好的成绩，我祝福你：）

谢谢批我的文章,交个朋友一起改文章

https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... id=251898改改这篇吧

有机会请多拍砖,每拍必回拍,多谢

当阳光照遍每个角落
心情像风般漂泊不停留
抛开界限 快乐行走
我有属于自己的方式做梦

西安外国语学院 3月25日[/