Issue154 出现过两次机井题！！必回拍！！

alinazhUID: 187151

Issue154 Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators。

When people mention about education, most of them firstly think of a group of professional educators in the schools. However, in fact, in the process of education, the human being can not separate from the family and community. In my opinion, like issue mentioned, the family education and society education should be responsible for cultivating a well- rounded students, because education is too important to leave solely to school education.

First of all, the clear functions of these three education’s aspects, on my view, are necessary for us to start a full discussion. The first one is school education, which can bring abundant and up-to- date knowledge, valuable experience on studying and searching, and ideal circumstances for learning to the students by the professional educators. The second one is the family education. As parents and families, they teach us in the highest priority. From their parents, people can learn existent experience and knowledge about how to communicate with others, how to use their emotions, and how to live in the practical society. The third one is the society or community education, in which students can accumulate and study the social knowledge as well as social experience with the practical way. Therefore, because of different functions and responsibilities of school education, family education and society education on the way to being the well-rounded human being, they are all indispensable and even influence with each other.  

As the family education, it is the starting point of people understanding knowledge and society, as well as forming their personalities, their own moral system and ethical standards. For example, before we enter into the primary school, they teach us some simple mathematics and literal skills in order to make us prepare very well for learning in the future. When we begin our studying or begin to touch the society, they always educate us that for the happiness in the future, we should study hard and work hard; for being favored by others, we should be modest, friendly, kind and selfless; for being respected by most people, we should be loyal on what we believe in, be honest on what we have done, and be just and rational on what we judge. In fact, only can the parents teach their children those details of the experience and moral system carefully. The teachers in the school can not teach every student those details. Thus, the family education is necessary and elementary for every person to form their own thoughts and moral standards.

As the society education, as we know, society is the place, in which people mostly study and accumulate their knowledge and experience through their frustration and their failures. But it is not like family education, by which students can absorb the wealth of the knowledge and experience from their parents unlimitedly without any frustration and failure. However, there is no doubt that only can the society provide students enough room to carry out and pursue their dreams and their ambitions. Meanwhile, by the community education, not only can the students learn more social knowledge and social experience which can not be educated in the school, but they also can form their special value orientations, value inclination. Meanwhile, they also finally determine what their developing goals and fields are. Therefore, through society education, the person can become a real and useful human being for society, because they actually have their own spirits and souls on their lives and their careers.

In addition, those three aspects do not function respectively; on the contrary, they are influenced with each other. The family education can be considered the primary step, which is the base of other two educations, because it can enlighten the students to primarily realize the schools and society. Then, the school education begins to educate students the well-ordered and valuable knowledge, theories as well as methods for dealing with problems. Finally, students will carry on the taught details by the teachers and family in the society to fulfill them. Thus, experiencing such process, the students can completely and really improve.

In conclusion, the school education, family education and society education are all important for well educating a student. Those three aspects impact with each other. And the comprehensive education is conducted by combining with three aspects properly and continuously.

alinazhUID: 187151

up up 必回拍！！

staralwaysUID: 193479

占座，明天发上来。

crystal_shenUID: 158842

Issue154 Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators。

When people mention about education, most of them firstly think of a group of professional educators in the schools. However, in fact, [leave one of them] in the process of education, the human being can not  separate->be separated from the family and->or community. In my opinion, like issue mentioned, the family education and society education should be responsible for cultivating [delete 'a'] well- rounded students, because education is too important to leave solely to school education.

First of all, the clear functions of these three education’s aspects, on my view, are necessary for us to start a full discussion. The first one is school education, which can bring abundant and up-to- date knowledge, valuable experience on studying and searching, and ideal circumstances for learning to [to??] the students by the professional educators. The second one is the family education. As parents and families, they teach us in the highest priority. From their [why using 'we' here and 'they' there? ]parents, people can learn existentexisted experience and knowledge about how to communicate with others, how to usecontrol their emotions, and how to live in the practical society. The third one is the society or community education, in which students can accumulate and study the social knowledge as well as social experience with the practical way. Therefore, because of different functions and responsibilities of school education, family education and society education on the way to being the well-rounded human being [who says the final destination of education is to turn people well-rounded persons?], they are all indispensable and even influence withon each other.

As the family education??, it is the starting point of people understanding knowledge and society, as well as forming their personalities, their own moral system and ethical standards. For example, before we enter into the primary school, they [who are 'they'?] teach us some simple mathematics and literal skills in order to [in order to? why? I do not think so. I think that is just for ordinary communication in daily lives not for some kind of 'learning in the future'. ] make us prepare very well[not always very well.] for learning in the future. When we begin our studying or begin [do not use begin twice in one sentence.] to touch the society, they [again, who are 'they'? ]always educate us that for the happiness in the future, we should study hard and work hard [why will hard working bring happiness? happiness is a complicated concept.]; for being favored by others, we should be modest, friendly, kind and selfless [this seems to be in the society education]; for being respected by most people, we should be loyal on what we believe in, be honest on what we have done, and be just and rational on what we judge [seems not to belong to family education]. In fact, only can the parents teach their children those details of the experience and moral system carefully. [People could learn from others like friends or ... Not always parents.] The teachers in the school can not teach every student those details. Thus, the family education is necessary and elementary for every person to form their own thoughts and moral standards. have you discussed about thoughts or moral standars in this body?

As the society education, as we know, society is the place, in which people mostly study and accumulate their knowledge and experience through their frustration and their failures. But it is not like family education, by which students [you'd better say 'people' in a society and say 'students' at school, right?] can absorb the wealth of the knowledge and experience from their parents unlimitedly without any frustration and failure. However, there is no doubt that only can the society provide students enough room to carry out and pursue their dreams and their ambitions. Meanwhile, by the community education, not only can the students learn more social knowledge and social experience which can not be educated in the school, but they also can form their special value orientations, value inclination. Meanwhile [please do not use 'meanwhile' continuously], they also finally determine what their developing goals and fields are. Therefore, through society education, the person can become a real and useful human being for society, because they actually have their own spirits and souls on their lives and their careers. 感觉这段话说得绕口且笼统，试深入些

In addition, those three aspects do not function respectively; on the contrary, they are influenced with each other. The family education can be considered the primary step, which is the base of other two educations, because it can enlighten the students to primarily realize the schools and society. Then, the school education begins to educate students the well-ordered and valuable knowledge, theories as well as methods for dealing with problems. Finally, students will carry on the taught details by the teachers and family in the society to fulfill them. Thus, experiencing such process, the students can completely and really improve.

In conclusion, the school education, family education and society education are all important for well educating a student. Those three aspects impact [impact on] with each other. And the comprehensive education is conducted by combining with three aspects properly and continuously.

个人感觉楼主说了好多罗嗦的话，句子写得不精练，我觉得太多的连词，太多插入语，会影响文章的力度，显得很多地方可有可无

呵呵

tony_chaoUID: 187700

语法错误很少,基本没有,比我自己的文章好多了,所以只能就大体的一个方向提些个人的意见了.
观点及逻辑上的扣题都蛮准的,但是关键是我觉得论证的力度不够,就是围绕几点绕来绕去,比如那加入的家庭教育与社会教育那两段,基本就是前面那段的并列扩充,没有什么递进的深度.且都没有例证或者其它比较能让人信服的证据,比如调查报告,谁谁的讲话之类的,所以觉得文章会有一点单调. 不过整体行为流畅,如果是在限时的情况下写之么多,我觉得是相当不错的了.
PS: 个人不太喜欢用模板,所以最好能适当变一变,你想看老外天天改我们的作文肯定也会烦的,还是变变会有一些新颖的地方.

thinking in GTUID: 195028

占座，中午看

alinazhUID: 187151

谢谢大家的修改！！

staralwaysUID: 193479

When people mention about education, most of them firstly think of a group of professional educators in the schools. However, in fact, in the process of education, the human being[human being用在这里感觉不太恰当，people就可以了] cannot separate from the family and community. In my opinion, like [the ]issue mentioned [above], the family education and society education should be responsible for cultivating a well-rounded students[注意前面用的是a，后面用的是students], because education is too important to leave solely to school education.

First of all, the clear functions of these three education’s aspects[three aspects of education感觉更好点], on my view, are necessary for us to start a full discussion. The first one is school education, which can bring abundant and up-to-date knowledge, valuable experience on studying and searching, and ideal circumstances[环境的话还是用environment比较好] for learning to the students by the professional educators. The second one is the family education. As parents and families, they teach us in the highest priority. From their parents, people can learn existent experience and knowledge about how to communicate with others, how to use their emotions, and how to live in the practical society. The third one is the society or community education, in which students can accumulate and study the social knowledge as well as social experience with the practical way. Therefore, because of different functions and responsibilities of school education, family education and society education on the way to being[这里的being不太合适，整句话的主语是education，可以用cultivate, bring up之类的词] the well-rounded human being, they are all indispensable and even influence with[没有influence with这种说法吧] each other.

As the family education, it is the starting point of people[‘s] understanding knowledge and society, as well as forming their personalities, their own moral system and ethical standards. For example, before we enter into the primary school, they teach us some simple mathematics and literal skills in order to make us prepare[d] very well for learning in the future. When we begin our studying or begin to touch the society, they always educate us that for the happiness in the future, we should study hard and work hard; for being favored by others, we should be modest, friendly, kind and selfless; for being respected by most people, we should be loyal on[to] what we believe in, be honest on what we have done, and be just and rational on what we judge. [这段排比不错]In fact, only can the parents teach their children those details of the experience and moral system carefully. The teachers in the school cannot teach every student those details. Thus, the family education is necessary and elementary for every person to form their own thoughts and moral standards.[这段主要讲家庭教育，个人认为关于上学前家长教基本的算术和语言技能的那个例子放在这里不太合适。每个家长都会教孩子说话，而到了小学里诸如拼音、算术这类的学校也会教，因此这个例子就不太能体现出家庭教育和学校教育之间的差别，而且这段话有了那个排比再加上这个例子显得有些冗余，完全可以删掉。]

As the society education, as we know, society is the place, in which people mostly[mostly放在这里有点中国式的味道，可以考虑放在in which前] study and accumulate their knowledge and experience through their frustration and their failures. But it is not like family education, by which students can absorb the wealth of the knowledge and experience from their parents unlimitedly without any frustration and failure. [这里感觉有点罗嗦，可以直接写unlike family and school education，social education怎么样怎么样，和后面那句连在一起]However, there is no doubt that only can the society provide students enough room to carry out and pursue their dreams and their ambitions. Meanwhile, by the community education, not only can the students learn more social knowledge and social experience which cannot be educated in the school, but they also can form their special value orientations, value inclination. Meanwhile, they also[前面已经有了meanwhile，再加also就多余了] finally determine[我读着是最终决定，可以改成决定他们最终的人生目标] what their developing goals and fields are. Therefore, through society education, the person can become a real and useful human being for society, because they actually have their own spirits and souls on their lives and their careers.

In addition, those three aspects do not function respectively; on the contrary, they are influenced with each other. The family education can be considered the primary step, which is the base of other two educations, because it can enlighten the students to primarily realize the schools and society. Then, the school education begins to educate students the well-ordered and valuable knowledge, theories as well as methods for dealing with problems. Finally, students will carry on the taught details by the teachers and family in the society to fulfill them. Thus, experiencing such process, the students can completely and really improve.[这段总结三者的关系不错]

In conclusion, the school education, family education and society education are all important for well educating a student. Those three aspects impact with each other. And the comprehensive education is conducted by combining with three aspects properly and continuously.

作者对文章总体的把握不错，虽然没有列提纲，但是能够比较清楚地看出是：三者的教育目标不同->除了学校教育，家庭和社会教育也很重要->家庭教育->社会教育->总结三者关系，这么一条line of reasoning。有点从fundamental写起的感觉（也是我比较favor的），不过考试的时候可能要写这么长就比较困难了。可以考虑写的再简练一点，比方说Body1就可以简要的概括一下。以上个人意见，欢迎一起讨论，大家共同进步！

下面这篇是我前不久写的，写得不好，所以急需战友们帮我指出问题！
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251925

thminUID: 192642

如果单独看的话，你的文章写得还不错，每一段都有一个很清楚的观点，结构也比较有层次。
但是好的都让大家说过了,我就说说我的看法吧。
我觉得你的文章有两大缺点，第一是有关审题方面的，题目的要求是讨论要不要让家庭和社区教育参与到学校教育中去，而不是让我们分别强调另两大教育的重要性。你在把那另外两大教育深入到学校这一点上基本上没有怎么涉入。第二是你的语言不够简练，很多地方读起来比较模糊，这一点有人已经提出来了我就不说了。

sailing_yfUID: 150982

我跟楼主的审题方式有些出入，我把父母和团体当作一体与当地学校进行比较，
开头强调一下学校教育的成功
接着些父母和团体的重要性和互补性
语言不错，学习一下

tony_chaoUID: 187700

这点是的,楼主的语言的确不错


:)刚刚开始写Issue,帮忙拍啊.
第一篇Issue195：https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251956
第二篇Issue36：https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252298