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[i习作temp] Issue144 艺术第1篇真难拍砖,必复 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-3-3 12:51:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:72分31秒     488 words
从2005年2月3日10时0分到2005年2月3日11时72分
------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
Many people hold the viewpoint that it is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. As far as I am concerned, admittedly, artist is the author of art which gives society value, however, critic is also of importance to value of society. Without critic, it is difficult for the artist to give society something of lasting value.

To begin with, it is the artist who creates the great art and works. Let us retrospect to history of art, it is no doubt (suspicion) that people can remember countless names of the artists, but seldom do people remember the names of the critics. Vinci, the great artists of Italian, who created a great number of art such as Mona Lisa,and his name  was sculpted in the milestone of art history for ever. These art do great contributions to maintain and remind the history of human and give society of something of value.

However, the critic also plays a significant role showing the value of art. There are always abstruse meanings in the art that common people can not acknowledge, so critic with a certain knowledge of art who understands its meaning could show people how to appreciate value of art. They can not only tell us the background of the art such as times, figures, location but only show us what spirit the artist wants to express in his/her art; moreover, the critic supplies some references for evaluating works of art bad or good, meaningless or abstruseness and so on. When works of art is created and open to the public, there will be critics who give all kinds of ideas and understandings to the art, whatever fair or unfair, they are beneficial to supply us a widely space of thinking and intact perspectives to acquire the true meaning that the artists would like to show. Furthermore, When it comes to the artists, the critics give some feedback to works of art , after accepting the comments from the critic, the artist will know what the people want and how to best express themselves in the art.

In the end, the critic is just like a bridge which establishes the connection between the artist and the people. Without the critic, the artist may not clearly express their minds to the common, meanwhile, the common could not deeply understand the abstruseness of art, if so, we can imagine that the art will lose its potential value, therefore, we could not neglect the significant value that it takes.

To sum up, it is both the artist and the critic that play an important role of giving society something of value for ever. The artist creates great works of art for the human, while the critic, like a bridge, enlighten us how recognize and understand the meaning of art. Only by cooperating the artist and the critic can works of art takes lasting value to society.
雖然南洋很小,但我喜歡那個地方,一起去好嘛,做我的朋友妳不會失望!
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沙发
发表于 2005-3-3 15:06:45 |只看该作者
Many people hold the viewpoint that it is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. 这里用it is…that句型比较合适,因为从你的句型来看意思是它是…的艺术家,那它指什么呢? As far as I am concerned, admittedly, artist is the author of art which gives这里which是指art还是artist?如果是artist那么用错了吧,如果是art,那么用giving比较好 society value, however, critic is also of importance to value of society会不会用bring society value比较好呢?因为前面artist用的也是动词,句型会比较对称. Without critic, it is difficult for the artist to give society something of lasting value.感觉这句的提出和上句接的不密切,因为上句是critic是重要的,但并没有说它是indispensable的呀,或许中间应该再加个句子

To begin with, it is the artist whothat creates the great art and works. Let us retrospect to history of art, it is no doubt suspicion that people can remember remind想起,remember一般指记住countless names of the artists, but seldom do people rememberrecall the names of the critics. Vinci, the great artists artistof Italian, who created a great number of artarts such as Mona Lisa,and his name was sculpted in the milestone of art history for ever这个句子只有主语,可能你用了太长的从句的缘故,忘了前面还有Vinci的主语了. These artarts domake great contributions to maintain and remind the history of human and give society of 去掉ofsomething of value.

However, the critic also plays a significant role showing the value of art. There are always abstruse meanings in the art that common people can not acknowledge这里可以尝试用一下so……that的句型, so critic with a certain knowledge of art who understands its meaning could show people how to appreciate value of art. They can not only tell us the background of the art such as times, figures, location but only alsoshow us what spirit the artist wants to express in his/her art; moreover, the critic supplies some references for evaluating works of art bad or good, meaningless or abstruseness and so on这里用and so on似乎不妥当 When works of art is created and open to the public, there will be critics who give all kinds of ideas and understandings to the art, whatever fair or unfair, 用;they are beneficial 这个词用来修饰人不合适吧to supply us a widely space of thinking and intact perspectives to acquire这个词也不合适,一般指习得知识、获得东西等,grasp? the true meaning that the artists would like to show. Furthermore, When it comes to the artists, the critics give some feedback to works of art ,用.一句已经完了,后面还有一句 after accepting the comments from the critic, the artist will know what the people want and how to best express有点别扭 themselves in the art.

In the end好像不是很合适,用finally?, the critic is just like a bridge which establishes the connection between the artist and the people.比喻很好Without the critic, the artist may not clearly express their minds to the common through arts,毕竟用语言交流也许能表达吧^_^, meanwhile, the common could not deeply understand the abstruseness 这个词出现太多了,类似的还有profound,其它一下子我想不起来了:Pof art, if so, we can imagine that the art will lose its potential value, therefore, we could not neglect the significant value that it takes这个句子没问题但是意思有点问题
To sum up, it is both the artist and the critic that play an important role of giving society something of value for ever. The artist creates great works of art for the human, while the critic, like a bridge, enlighten us how recognize and understand the meaning of art. Only by cooperatingcooperation between,cooperate应该是人在前作为动作发出者 the artist and the critic can works of art takes lasting value to society.

全文逻辑非常清楚,看下来很顺畅
语言表达也很清楚
继续加油

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板凳
发表于 2005-3-3 19:23:40 |只看该作者
很感激你
雖然南洋很小,但我喜歡那個地方,一起去好嘛,做我的朋友妳不會失望!

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地板
发表于 2005-3-4 10:58:00 |只看该作者
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间:72分31秒 488 words
从2005年2月3日10时0分到2005年2月3日11时72分
------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
Many people hold the viewpoint that it is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. As far as I am concerned, admittedly, artist is the author of art which gives society value, however, critic is also of importance to value of society. Without critic, it is difficult for the artist to give society something of lasting value.

To begin with, it is the artist who creates the great art and works. Let us retrospect to history of art, it is no doubt (suspicion) that people can remember countless names of the artists, but seldom do people remember the names of the critics. Vinci, the great artists of Italian, who created a great number of art such as Mona Lisa,and his name was sculpted in the milestone of art history for ever. These art do great contributions to maintain and remind the history of human and give society of something of adding a lasting herevalue.

However, the critic also plays a significant role showing the value of art. There are always abstruse meanings in the art that common people can not acknowledge, so critic with a certain knowledge of art who understands its meaning could show people how to appreciate value of art. They can not only tell us the background of the art such as times, figures, location but only show us what spirit the artist wants to express in his/her art; moreover, the critic supplies some references for evaluating works of art bad or good, meaningless or abstruseness and so on. When works of art is created and open to the public, there will be critics who give all kinds of ideas and understandings to the art, whatever fair or unfair, they are beneficial to supply us a widely space of thinking and intact perspectives to acquire the true meaning that the artists would like to show. Furthermore, When it comes to the artists, the critics give some feedback to works of art , after accepting the comments from the critic, the artist will know what the people want and how to best express themselves in the art.

In the end, the critic is just like a bridge which establishes the connection between the artist and the people. Without the critic, the artist may not clearly express their minds to the common, meanwhile, the common could not deeply understand the abstruseness of art, if so, we can imagine that the art will lose its potential value, therefore, we could not neglect the significant value that it takes.

To sum up, it is both the artist and the critic that play an important role of giving society something of value for ever. The artist creates great works of art for the human, while the critic, like a bridge, enlighten us how recognize and understand the meaning of art. Only by cooperating the artist and the critic can works of art takes lasting value to society.

匆匆看了一下,我也写了这篇文章,也很烂,的确不好些。我觉得对于critic的意义论述显得有些单薄,建议可以多加几个分论点,正如你文章中的:(1)The critic could promise the deeper understanding to the works of arts.
(2)The cirtic could give some feebacks to the artist, which is essential for the lasting value.
然后对于每个分论点再展开来论述[color]
我帮你改作文,你能帮我回改吗?我3月21号考
PP3模考:
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256059

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发表于 2005-3-4 11:00:12 |只看该作者
看看我这篇吧
Issue144  第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:45分3秒     464 words
从2005年2月2日9时33分到2005年2月2日10时45分
------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
When it comes to who, artist or critic, gives society something of lasting value. Some arguments always appear. Someone, as the speaker, hold that it is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. I disagree with this assertion. I contend that the society something of lasting value is the effect of functions from artist and critic.

To begin with, admittedly, the artist gives society something of lasting value directly. We often marvel that how immortal some artistic works are, the symphonies of Beethoven are performed frequently all over the world; the painting display of Van Gogh is always popular with various human groups throughout the world. The plays of Shakespeare are presented very often in the concerts from the modern Western society to ancient Eastern world. Indeed, all of these bring human something of lasting value - maybe some immortal spirits stirring up the whole society, maybe the beauty dispelling the evil, sad, misery, or maybe some precious virtues. How, you may wonder, such lasting values come? If there is no Beethoven, Van Gogh or Shakespeare, how to draw their respective immortal works, not to mention the society something of lasting value from the works. As far, we can know that the society something of lasting value cannot exist without the artist.

The artistic works is the children of individual artist, and consequently they always reflect or even represent the ideas, minds and some values of the artists more or less, which calls for the critic for the lasting value. Let us consider the concrete examples in the above. The symphonies of Beethoven are the incarnations of his unyieldingness to the destiny. The paintings of Van Gogh reflect his perspective to life, the plays of Shakespeare tell people what are great virtues, what is evilness and ugliness. However, could every artistic works from the individual artists just be like the concrete examples, popular with all mankind throughout the world? It is not that case. Many artist works can reflect the cultures and values of only groups or small community, even contradict these of other groups and communities. The critic knowing more about the whole society, the human, can evaluate the works of artists and give rise to some advice to make the individual children – artistic works resonance of the whole mankind, and accordingly the lasting values comes.
   
When the artists create the works of art, they do not care about directly whether their works embody some society something of lasting value, just conforming to their own interests, which calls for the critics, too. The artists create the works owing to the interests. When the works face the society, the critics give some feedbacks to the artists directly or indirectly from the lasting value perspective, and accordingly the artists do some amends to the works. This process last forever throughout the advance of society, and then the society something of lasting value comes gradually.

In sum, the society something of lasting value comes from the corporate effects of endeavors of artists and critics .The former bring the woks directly and the latter's feedback encourage the former to re-create since the inevitable limits of artists due to the subjective factors.

超时了5分钟还是没有话说.
我帮你改作文,你能帮我回改吗?我3月21号考
PP3模考:
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256059

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发表于 2005-3-4 11:11:31 |只看该作者
我有一些想法,大家看看吧:
艺术家和批评家是矛盾的两方面
没有艺术家,就没有批评家
没有批评家,也没有艺术家
艺术是创造与再创造的过程
艺术和批评的价值都是人类智慧
。。。

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RE: Issue144 艺术第1篇真难拍砖,必复 [修改]

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