issue185 由于写倒数第二段超时了2分钟，大家看看值吗？

xiongyicnUID: 192745

Issue185  第5篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分2秒     515 words
从2005年2月3日23时17分到2005年2月4日0时45分
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Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
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Scandals are usually regarded as something disgrace, but if we consider them more deeply, we can find they are useful in many field, including politics, academia or other areas, sometimes,  in that they can focus our attention on problems in some ways, different the traditional ones, such as ones speaker or reformer ever could use.   

To begin with, in the political area, the scandal could bring some more accurate information about politician, government, public affairs, etc. , which promise some essential virtues in the political area. First, let us consider how to get information about politics usually. We can get information mostly from the mouths of politicians, the medias which often under the political censorship. Do the politicians always tell the truth or never withhold some essential information to the public, or always allow the media publish all the information? Common sense tells us it is not that case. The politicians often cheat the public for certain interests or special goals. The scandals in politics can uncover these essential information, which promise rightness, justice, transparence, elimination for corruption. The scandal about food-oil program of UN can serve an example well here. This scandal uncovered some officers of UN corrupt in this program, and all these officers were punished reasonably.

Likewise, the scandals in the academia could serve as some useful things to promise the purity in the knowledge and research. There are often few public concerns and foci in the academic research except for some great achievement born. The saying reads "the sunlight is best antiseptic". On the other hand, there is no concerns and foci, there is a heavy possibility that some ugly things hapen. Only the scandals can unclose these things, and consequently the sunlight can penetrate the walls of academia. When we hear about some scandals about one researcher get some plagiarisms, we would look down upon him let alone how great achievement he has got before, which is so terrible that the researcher dare not to do that frequently. Thus, the scandals can serve well to supervise the academia for the purity of knowledge and research.

In addition, the scandals can be also useful in the business field. The inherent characteristics of business area calls for scandal a lot. The profits are overwhelming factors in the business area, and accordingly, the profits could stir up companies, or businessmen to achieve certain goals regardless of the way to it. Some approach to the greatest profits could be at the cost of interests and rights of others even the whole public. Such example is very common in the profit-driven era. Many companies flow the polluted water for economical cost for the purification of them, which can illustrate that well.

However, we have to point out that over-concentrate the scandal could impede the stability and harmony of society. If the public over-concentrates the scandal, some persons or medias could use scandals as weapons to fight against the rival in the unjust ways, even lead to the slanders.

In conclusion, scandals can be useful sometimes in many areas, such as politics, academia, and some other areas, since it can usually as the sunlight lighting the darkness. However, the overestimate the function of scandals could also result in some problems as mentioned before.

ponponUID: 181304

占座

ponponUID: 181304

Scandals are usually regarded as something disgrace, but if we consider them more deeply, we can find they are useful in many fields, including politics, academia or other areas, sometimes, in that不准确delete they can focus our attention on problems in some waysto some extent, different the去掉 traditional ones, such as ones speaker or reformer ever could use.

To begin with, in the political area, the scandal could bring some more accurate不一定 information about politician, government, public affairs, etc. , which promise some essential virtues in the political area. First, let us consider how to get information about politics usually. We can get information mostly from the mouths of politicians, the medias which often are under the political censorship. Do the politicians always tell the truth or never withhold some essential information to the public, or always allow the media publish all the information? Common sense tells us it is not that case. The politicians often cheat the public for certain interests or special goals. The scandals in politics can uncover these essential information, which promise rightness, justice, transparence, elimination for corruption. The scandal about food-oil program of UN can serve an example well here. This scandal uncovered some officers of UN corrupt in this program, and all these officers were punished reasonably.论据很成分,内容充实

Likewise,the scandals in the academia could serve as some useful things to promise the purity in the knowledge and research. There are often few public concerns and foci in the academic research except for some great achievement born. The saying reads "the sunlight is best antiseptic". On the other hand, there is no concerns and foci, there is a heavy possibility that some ugly things hapen. Only the scandals can unclose these things, and consequently the sunlight can penetrate the walls of academia. When we hear aboutof后面有一个 some scandals about one researcher get some plagiarisms, we would look down upon him let alone how great achievement he has got before, which is so terrible that the researcher dare not to do that frequently. Thus, the scandals can serve well to supervise the academia for the purity of knowledge and research.

In addition, the scandals can be also usefulbefeficial in the business field. The inherent characteristics of business area calls for scandal a lot. The profits are overwhelming factors in the business area, and accordingly, the profits could stir up companies, or businessmen to achieve certain goals regardless of the way to it. Some approaches to the greatest profits could be at the cost of interests and rights of others even the whole public. Such example is very common in the profit-driven era. Many companies flow the polluted water for economical cost for the purification of them, which can illustrate that well.

However, we have to point out that over-concentrate the scandal could impede the stability and harmony of society. If the public over-concentrates the scandal, some persons or medias could use scandals as weapons to fight against the rival in the unjust ways, even lead to the slanders.
多领域的论证使文章丰富，建议你限时

In conclusion, scandals can be useful sometimes in many areas, such as politics, academia, and some other areas, since it can usually as the sunlight lighting the darkness. However, the overestimate the function of scandals could also result in some problems as mentioned before.

ponponUID: 181304

帮我看看吧

migao21UID: 58234

Scandals are usually regarded as something disgrace, but if we consider them more deeply, we can find they are useful in many field, including politics, academia or other areas, sometimes, in that they can focus our attention on problems in some ways, different (from?)the traditional ones, such as (what?)ones speaker or reformer ever could use.

To begin with, in the political area, the scandal could bring some more accurate information about politician, government, public affairs, etc. , which promise some essential virtues in the political area. First, let us consider how to get information about politics usually. We can get information mostly from the mouths of politicians, the medias which often under the political censorship. Do the politicians always tell the truth or never withhold some essential information to the public, or always allow the media publish all the information? Common sense tells us it is not that case. The politicians often cheat the public for certain interests or special goals. The scandals in politics can uncover these essential information, which promise rightness, justice, transparence, elimination for corruption. The scandal about food-oil program of UN can serve an example well here. This scandal uncovered some officers of UN corrupt in this program, and all these officers were punished reasonably.
我认为这段的观点很不错，就是Scandal可以揭露政治真相，但是这里的论述有点问题：scandal的载体有时（通常大部分是）媒体，这里把媒体和scandal分开好像有点牵强

Likewise, the scandals in the academia could serve as some useful things to promise the purity in the knowledge and research. There are often few public concerns and foci in the academic research except for some great achievement born. The saying reads "the sunlight is best antiseptic". On the other hand, there is no concerns and foci, there is a heavy possibility that some ugly things hapen. Only the scandals can unclose these things, and consequently the sunlight can penetrate the walls of academia. When we hear about some scandals about one researcher get some plagiarisms, we would look down upon him let alone how great achievement he has got before这句话有点怪, which is so terrible that the researcher dare not to do that frequently. Thus, the scandals can serve well to supervise the academia for the purity of knowledge and research.
这段的论点就是最后一句话，但是前面的论述没有很好的围绕，绕了一个圈，字数也不多，论证无力

In addition, the scandals can be also useful in the business field. The inherent characteristics of business area calls for scandal a lot. The profits are overwhelming factors in the business area, and accordingly, the profits could stir up companies, or businessmen to achieve certain goals regardless of the way to it. Some approach to the greatest profits could be at the cost of interests and rights of others even the whole public. Such example is very common in the profit-driven era. Many companies flow the polluted water for economical cost for the purification of them, which can illustrate that well.
句式好凌乱，看的我晕

However, we have to point out that over-concentrate the scandal could impede the stability and harmony of society. If the public over-concentrates the scandal, some persons or medias could use scandals as weapons to fight against the rival in the unjust ways, even lead to the slanders.
让步妥协段，应该是时间来不及

In conclusion, scandals can be useful sometimes in many areas, such as politics, academia, and some other areas, since it can usually  as the sunlight lighting the darkness. However, the overestimate the function of scandals could also result in some problems as mentioned before.
最后一段总结的不好，估计没有时间了，匆匆完成。 用了前面说过的词句，累赘之嫌，还不如把前面说的完整一点。

总的来说，45分内写出这样的也算不错了，至少我可能无法达到。
但是作者太分散精力了，想要写3个方面，导致3个方面都无法写好。我认为你可以详细写一个方面，然后把其他方面放入一个段落里。 还有一些语法错误，有些地方读起来很拗口， 表达意思不够完整明了。

xiongyicnUID: 192745

已经帮楼上的回改