Issue207 机井题！！就剩3天了，紧张！！请大家帮忙看看！！必回拍！！

alinazhUID: 187151

Issue207 Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

All over the world, there are lots of different rituals and ceremonies in different countries. I admit that rituals and ceremonies can help people define a culture and a belief. However, in contemporary society, most people do not put their most emphasis on those rituals and ceremonies to define themselves. In fact, besides rituals and ceremonies, other aspects, such as jobs, friends, and different groups can provide people the sense of who they are.

First of all, the clear definitions of ritual or ceremony are necessary for us to start a full discussion. From the dictionary, we know that the ritual is the action according to the religious laws or social custom. And the ceremony is the formal and conventional behaviors.

Admittedly, according to rituals and ceremonies, people can define their cultures and beliefs. For example, Chinese traditional wedding can present many Chinese culture and beliefs. On such weeding, everywhere is full of red from the clothes of bride to the covers of bed. It is because in China, this color represents good look, fortune and happiness. Meanwhile, on the newlywed’s bed, there are a lot of peanuts dispersed by bridegroom's parents and relatives, which means that every one hopes the bride to have a little boy quickly, because having the new life, especially the boy, is the sign of being harvest and wealthy to the family. As long as you participate into this tradition weeding, although most times you must be confused about what Chinese persons are doing on the weeding, I believe that you must be surprised to appreciate lots of interesting scenes which you have never seen before. Those confused and interesting things are the detailed expression of Chinese culture, belief and custom. Therefore, for such unique ritual or ceremony, people can define some parts of a culture.

On the contrary, not every ritual or ceremony can clearly distinguish different cultures, and define the sense of who they are. As we know, the ancient Greek and Christianism had great impacts on developing European cultures. Most of those cultures derived the essential parts of ancient Greek culture, which induce that some aspects of those European cultures are common, such as also the weeding ceremonies. Therefore, because people can not avoid that some forms of different cultures are quite the same, only according to rituals and ceremonies, people can be confused and can not form intense sense of who they are.

In fact, besides ritual and ceremony, the modern people are willing to define themselves by judging groups, such as friends, jobs, educational groups and so on. When a person in a group, he /she can define himself/ herself by what he/ she said, what the position is, and what the duty as well as the action are. Admittedly, the defined identifications by such doing are more practical and close to the real society, because people usually take advantage of those identifications, such as teacher, student, manager, governor, lawyer etc., to communicate with others, to contact with society as well as to live in the world. For example, if a man is a manager in a company, he can more intensely realize his identification as manager through the following factors. He has the higher position, in which every other members of group must follow with his decisions and demand his agreement on some business planning. He also has the most important duty in the company, which is to develop the company to the top status in related field. And with his duty, he must work very hardest in the group on planning a proper company's strategy for the future as well as building benign relationships with government, partners and even competitors. In a word, people can gain the better and clearer sense of who they are with judging different groups than ones with ritual and ceremony.

In conclusion, ritual and ceremony play an important role in defining a culture and custom of the society. However, groups also are more important for defining the identification for people in the society.

tcaactUID: 186901

Issue207 Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

All over the world, there are lots of different rituals and ceremonies in different countries. I admit that rituals and ceremonies can help people define a culture and a belief. However, in contemporary society, most people do not put their most emphasis on those rituals and ceremonies to define themselves. In fact, besides rituals and ceremonies, other aspects, such as jobs, friends, and different groups can provide people the sense of who they are.

First of all, the clear definitions of ritual or ceremony are necessary for us to start a full discussion. From the dictionary, we know that the ritual is the action according to the religious laws or social custom. And the ceremony is the formal and conventional behaviors.[color=red 这段有点唐突，个人意见 /color]

Admittedly, according to rituals and ceremonies, people can define their cultures and beliefs. For example, Chinese traditional wedding can present many Chinese culture and beliefs. On such weeding, everywhere is full of red from the clothes of bride to the covers [sheet?] of bed. It is because[多余了] in China, this color represents good look[luck], fortune and happiness. Meanwhile, on the newlywed’s bed, there are a lot of peanuts dispersed by bridegroom's parents and relatives, which means that every one hopes the bride to have a little boy quickly [有点啰嗦], because having the new life, especially the boy, is the sign of being harvest and wealthy to the family[ because有点罗嗦，which means bring harvest and wealthy to the family] . As long as you participate into this tradition weeding, although most times you must be confused about what Chinese persons are doing on the weeding[好像不太需要这句], I believe that[也不太需要] you must be surprised to appreciate lots of interesting [ or even confusing] scenes which you have never seen before. Those confused and interesting things are the detailed expression of Chinese culture, belief and custom. Therefore, for such unique ritual or ceremony, people can define some parts of a culture. [例子很好]

On the contrary, not every ritual or ceremony can clearly distinguish different cultures, and define the sense of who they are [the people belong to it]. As we know, the ancient Greek and Christianism had great impacts on developing European cultures. Most of those cultures derived the essential parts of ancient Greek culture, which induce that some aspects of those European cultures are [in]common, such as also the weeding ceremonies. Therefore, because people cannot avoid that some forms of different cultures are quite the same, only according to rituals and ceremonies, people can be confused and cannot form intense sense of who they are.[观点很好，可以展开一下，作为中间段落，感觉有点太单薄]

In fact, besides ritual and ceremony, the modern people are willing to define themselves by judging groups, such as friends, jobs, educational groups and so on. When a person in a group, he /she can define himself/ herself by what he/ she said[says] , what the position is, and what the duty as well as the action are. Admittedly, the defined identifications by such doing are more practical and close to the real society, because people usually take advantage of those identifications, such as teacher, student, manager, governor, lawyer etc., to communicate with others, to contact with society as well as to live in the world. For example, if a man is a manager in a company, he can more intensely realize his identification as manager through the following factors. He has the higher position, in which every other members of group must follow with his decisions and demand his agreement on some business planning. He also has the most important duty in the company, which is to develop the company to the top status in related field. And with his duty, he must work very[不需要] hardest in the group on planning a proper company's strategy for the future as well as building benign relationships with government, partners and even competitors. In a word, people can gain the better and clearer sense of who they are with judging different groups than ones with ritual and ceremony.

In conclusion, ritual and ceremony play an important role in defining a culture and custom of the society. However, groups also[不需要] are more important for defining the identification for people in the society.

嗬嗬，不好意思，变色工具还是不太会用~~~
下次记得教我~~~

嗯，总的来说，思路不错，语言方面注意简洁点就更好了，用些短句~~~
加油哦！

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

All over the world, there are lots of different rituals and ceremonies in different countries. I admit that rituals and ceremonies can help people define a culture and a belief. However, in contemporary society, most people do not put their most emphasis on those rituals and ceremonies to define themselves. In fact, besides rituals and ceremonies, other aspects, such as jobs, friends, and different groups can provide people the sense of who they are.

First of all, the clear definitions of ritual or ceremony are necessary for us to start a full discussion. From the dictionary, we know that the ritual is the action according to the religious laws or social custom. And the ceremony is the formal and conventional behaviors. 能想到先来解释分析题目关键词说明你的理解很不错，只是这段的承上启下有些不舒服，开头还好，结束和下一段衔接不好

Admittedly, according to rituals and ceremonies, people can define their cultures and beliefs. For example, Chinese traditional wedding can present many Chinese culture and beliefs. On such weeding, everywhere is full of red from the clothes of bride to the covers of bed. It is because in China, this color represents good look, fortune and happiness. Meanwhile, on the newlywed’s bed, there are a lot of peanuts dispersed by bridegroom's parents and relatives, which means that every one hopes the bride to have a little boy quickly, because having the new life, especially the boy, is the sign of being harvest and wealthy to the family. As long as you participate into this tradition weeding,?wedding? although most times you must be confused about what Chinese persons are doing on the weeding, I believe that you must be surprised to appreciate lots of interesting scenes which you have never seen before. Those confused and interesting things are the detailed expression of Chinese culture, belief and custom. Therefore, for such unique ritual or ceremony, people can define some parts of a culture. 例子还好，只是描述的太详细了，不够简洁，而且看起来一段都是一个例子，这样的格局怕是不太好，不如把例子精简一下，加入你自己的分析和推论等等

On the contrary, not every ritual or ceremony can clearly distinguish different cultures, and define the sense of who they are. As we know, the ancient Greek and Christianism had great impacts on developing European cultures. Most of those cultures derived the essential parts of ancient Greek culture, which induce that some aspects of those European cultures are common, such as also the weeding…? ceremonies. Therefore, because people can not avoid that some forms of different cultures are quite the same, only according to rituals and ceremonies, people can be confused and can not form intense sense of who they are.

In fact, besides ritual and ceremony, the modern people are willing to define themselves by judging groups, such as friends, jobs, educational groups and so on. When a person in a group, he /she can define himself/ herself by what he/ she said, what the position is, and what the duty as well as the action are. Admittedly, the defined identifications by such doing are more practical and close to the real society, because people usually take advantage of those identifications, such as teacher, student, manager, governor, lawyer etc., to communicate with others, to contact with society as well as to live in the world. For example, if a man is a manager in a company, he can more intensely realize his identification as manager through the following factors. He has the higher position, in which every other members of group must follow with his decisions and demand his agreement on some business planning. He also has the most important duty in the company, which is to develop the company to the top status in related field. And with his duty, he must work very hardest in the group on planning a proper company's strategy for the future as well as building benign relationships with government, partners and even competitors. In a word, people can gain the better and clearer sense of who they are with judging different groups than ones with ritual and ceremony.

In conclusion, ritual and ceremony play an important role in defining a culture and custom of the society. However, groups also are more important for defining the identification for people in the society.
抱歉没有特别仔细的改，整体上都不错的，这样状态考试一定没问题的！提几个建议：一个就是文章说的那个过渡段，过渡的效果不是很好，有些不够连贯。还有一个，B4再简洁点好，例子过于详尽了。思路很清晰的，也很巧妙，对于题目的后半句，你的观点是without them people do not have a diminished sense of who they are. 这样你就可以从两方说，一个是有很多原因典礼和仪式没有那样的效果，再就是除了他们还有别的好多方式。但是B3有些粗略了，我觉得这个观点是第一层直接的回应题目，应该详细点，而B4算是引申出来的，却用了文章最长的一段来论证，当然这里面例子占的比重太多了，最好能精简一下。加油！

sailing_yfUID: 150982

B1和B2合并一下会更好，
B3在主题句后再加上一些分析论述才好，通篇用一个例子有些单调
个人观点