（3月10号考）ISSUE151，才写第一篇很烂，希望大家帮忙

shinyoasisUID: 196317

------题目------
High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication.
------正文------
Nowadays, with the development of new technology, people are living a better life than ever before, both on physics and psychology. We are not expected to do some kind of work or know about the latest news around the world without stepping out of the door a few years ago. However, now it can be done by the use of Internet, electronic mail and television and so on to communicate with each other. It is hard to say that whether these new technology do more good to us or do harm, but the author seems to oversimplify this issue.

High-speed electronic communications media can perform most functions that traditional media have provided. The function of communication is to enable us to gather around from our daily isolated lives to exchange our minds and thoughts, or even only say hello to each other. The way of communication has no choice in our early time, predominantly by the so-called face-to-face communication, which means we can say hello to someone else only when we are all standby, though inefficient, we have no choice besides. When the high-speed electronic communications media comes to our lives, it turns out to be that all that we want to tell to other people as before are also available by use of the media. The only different between the two means of communication is we need not to see each other any more.  

High-speed electronic communications media have obvious advantages over traditional communications; high speed, vividness and economy. No one can deny that these advantages are really accepted by our heart, that is to say, if we have a will to communicate with an old friend who lives far away from us, except for some certain kind of emergency, we can manage it just sitting beside our computers. Not only can we listen to other's voice, but also can we see other's face. We are so engaged in this sort of communication for its convenience and economy, which is essential to our daily lives. It saves us both time and money, the two basic elements to determine whether we can lead ourselves to the road to success and glory.

However, high-speed electronic communications media tend to create passive, isolated and indifferent communicators, preventing people from effective face-to-face interaction. Although we are benefited from the convenient way of communication a lot, the conventional method in communicating, the face-to-face interaction, should not be overlooked. To some extent, when we are chatting online, no matter how happy it is, we can still more or less feel some obstacle, which cannot be seen, between us, maybe caused by the instant and unthoughtful reply. That is why we feel untruthful when we chat with someone who we do not know in our true lives through internet. Even if we are chatting with our old classmates, colleges, friends, we are not feeling so intimate as we are talking in a restaurant or a coffee house, let alone the joy bring to us when we go for climbing or surfing, which is a kind of effective face-to-face is indispensable to maintain and promote the friendship or enjoy the time of being seen.

In sum, we are pursuing a more comfortable and convenient life. Both the traditional and electronic communications are needed, with the former provides us with meaningful and thoughtful communication and the latter to enable us to communicate whenever and whatever we want.

shinyoasisUID: 196317

有人可以帮忙拍下吗，我感觉自己根本不会用词，而且中心把握不住，可短时间内如何能应付各类的题目，让每道题都能说上些话呢，希望能得到指点．

红炉一点雪UID: 184868

觉得你的作文条理不错啊，很有层次，就是句式再多些变换的好。
   其实我自己的作文也才刚开始准备，写的时候甚至没有办法这么有条理的表达自己的思想，现在感到遇到困难了。请也指教一下我吧！
   我是3月23 的作文。

红炉一点雪UID: 184868

All students should be required to take courses in the sciences, even if they have no interest in science.
------正文------
   It is the trend that the education should be made on the basis of the interest of students. Many people will claim that the student has the right to choose the subject that he or she is interested in to study; therefore, they could give up the study in science if they don't want to. But taking the view from education, its goal is to cultivate the student as the one with fully developed thinking ability, science, as a subject needed logical thinking and capacity of experience and research, is the best approach to train students.
    First, science calls for several abilities that are necessary for human beings in life. In the first place, learning the science can know some common sense about the nature. We, human beings, should have the right, and also obligation to know some basic knowledge about the environment we live in, such as why and how the rain falls, and why the climate changes by seasons altering. This knowledge not only helps us to understand the phenomenon in the nature, but also to protect ourselves from the disaster, which might be caused by ignorance without this knowledge. Further more, as members of the earth, we have obligation to understand and protect the environment. Science is just the subject in this field. In the second place, practicing in science develops the capacity of logical thinking and research, which are important parts of human's mentality. The logical thinking makes the life in order, and research cultivates the ability of practicing pragmatically. Generally speaking, with the training of science, students will have sense of concerning the environment and capacities of logicality and practicality.
    Second, as the human being, everyone has the potential ability that can be explore. The interest can be cultivated and developed, but first of all, the opportunity should be provided. For students, it is obscure, or almost vanishes of the concept of "interest”. As the respect of this, the exploration of interest is the responsibility of education. Therefore, the full and wide education should be provided in order to make students have chance to contact all subjects, including science. What should be emphasized is, so-called "no interest in science" in most cases just means that, the students haven't been guided in study of science correctly. Therefore, the way of learning and teaching should be focused on following character: creativity of students, stimulus, praise and correct guidance.
    In conclusion, not only the courses in sciences should be required, but also arts, history and so on. That is all because the society need all kinds of elites in all subjects, and in particular, science is the basic subject in training thinking ability of students. Admittedly, it is crucial to seek the way of teaching, in order to find out what the interest of students is really in.

davidjackyUID: 135962

先改一下对方的作文，而不是更贴作文，楼主注意发贴格式

晨曦UID: 177893

如果没人看，试试看多改两篇别人的，既是借鉴学习，也是熟悉人口，才能有人来帮你呢。

作文论坛强调的是互动，而不是义务啦。认真就会有进步哦，不管是改别人的还是写自己的 :)

偶是局外人，说这个话可能方便些。勿见怪。错了算我的。

PS:可以利用页面下方的工具条来找 0回复 的文章的 —— 按照 “回复数量” 以 “降序” 排列......

staralwaysUID: 193479

Nowadays, with the development of new technology, people are living a better life than ever before, both on physics and psychology. [改成both physical and psychological觉得比较舒服一点]We are not expected to do some kind of work or know about the latest news around the world without stepping out of the door a few years ago. However, now it can be done by the use of Internet, electronic mail and television and so on to communicate with each other. It is hard to say that whether these new technology do more good to us or do harm, but the author seems to oversimplify this issue. [开头略显得冗长了点，考虑稍微简练一点]

High-speed electronic communications media can perform most functions that traditional media have provided. The function of communication is to enable us to gather around from our daily isolated lives to exchange our minds and thoughts, or even only say hello to each other.[这句写得不错] The way of communication has no choice in our early time, predominantly by the so-called face-to-face communication, which means we can say hello to someone else only when we are all standby, though inefficient, we have no choice besides. When the high-speed electronic communications media comes to our lives, it turns out to be that all that we want to tell to other people as before are also available by use of the media. The only different between the two means of communication is we need not to see each other any more.

High-speed electronic communications media have obvious advantages over traditional communications; high speed, vividness and economy. No one can deny that these advantages are really accepted by our heart, that is to say, if we have a will to communicate with an old friend who lives far away from us, except for some certain kind of emergency, we can manage it just sitting beside our computers. Not only can we listen to other's voice, but also can we see other's face. We are so engaged in this sort of communication for its convenience and economy, which is essential to our daily lives.[关于效率和经济实用总结的很到位] It saves us both time and money, the two basic elements to determine whether we can lead ourselves to the road to success and glory.

However, high-speed electronic communications media tend to create passive, isolated and indifferent communicators, preventing people from effective face-to-face interaction. Although we are benefited from the convenient way of communication a lot, the conventional method in communicating, the face-to-face interaction, should not be overlooked. To some extent, when we are chatting online, no matter how happy it is, we can still more or less feel some obstacle, which cannot be seen, between us, maybe caused by the instant and unthoughtful reply. That is why we feel untruthful when we chat with someone who we do not know in our true lives through internet. Even if we are chatting with our old classmates, colleges, friends, we are not feeling so intimate as we are talking in a restaurant or a coffee house, let alone the joy bring to us when we go for climbing or surfing, which is a kind of effective face-to-face is indispensable to maintain and promote the friendship or enjoy the time of being seen.

In sum, we are pursuing a more comfortable and convenient life. Both the traditional and electronic communications are needed, with the former provides us with meaningful and thoughtful communication and the latter to enable us to communicate whenever and whatever we want.

文章的一大优点就是很流畅，语法之类的错误几乎没有，让人读起来很连贯，而且论述也十分到位。

但是有一个问题是：似乎没有很紧密的扣题。题目中有几个关键字值得注意：tend to prevent，meaningful，thoughful。作者BODY部分的论证顺序是这样的：高速电子通讯媒体能提供与传统媒体一样的功能->在提供同样功能的基础上，它们更快速、方便以及经济实用->（让步）有缺点。但是几乎没有涉及到有意义和深度的交流以及高速电子通讯媒体是否是妨碍还是促进（只在B3段里看到出现过thoughful和meaningful这两个单词）。似乎是有点离题的感觉。

总体来说，楼主的语言文字方面的功底已经在了，论述逻辑也没有什么大问题，只是这篇文章的话有点跑题的嫌疑。

以上是一点小小的看法，欢迎讨论，大家共同进步！