Issue185 同主题写作， 第一次贴限时作文，请版主指指水平，也请大家看，必回改！

山坡羊UID: 169978

Issue185 同主题写作， 第一次贴限时作文，请版主指指水平，也请大家看，必回改！（没过时间吧）
第一次“贴”限时的作文，自己底下也写了些了。写后只改了拼写错误（不过拼错了18词，呵呵）。
写得不好，但贴上就是想听听大家对我的水平的看法和建议。我4.1考。
必回改，请留下你的链接！

Issue185  
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分1秒     476 words
从2005年2月5日23时22分到2005年2月6日0时45分
------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------
Is it true that all scandals are useful, whether in politics, academia, or other area? Do they really focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? I agree with the speaker that scandals can attract more public than does speaker or reformer, and scandals always are beneficial to our society. However, we should not overlook some potential harm brought with scandals.

It is factual and reasonable that scandals can focus much public attentions, for the reason that it is human nature to be interested in flaws of other people, especially that of famous ones. In addition, for enticing common people the mass media tend to report scandals of politicials, scholars, or stars, even turgidly For example, the former president Clinton's scrutiny report were downloaded by thansands of citizens; many people in the whole world watched carefully the incident. Also, in academic field, the plagiarizing of Wang Mingming, a famous anthropologist and professor in Peking University, aroused a sense of distrust with academic, myriads of people discuss over it time and time again. People usually have a sense of respect to such individuals, thus, they would care much for their scandals, whether to blame, or to defend. It is more attractive and vivid than what speaker or reformer speaks.

Based on widespread attentions on scandals, such scandals usually contribute much to our society. First, it help scrutinize leaders or other authorities, by admonish them not doing any wrong things from them on. And it is also a lesson for the others or successors. For instance, Nixon’s Water Gate tells every leader in democratic country cannot do any thing obeying the law and should not tell lies to cover his or her wrong; otherwise, even president could resign. Also, the Zipping Gate can tell a true story about loyalty to prouse; Professor Wang's experience advance the objective writing in Chinese academic field. In addition, scandals can reinforce the ability of holding their rights of public. People can learn much about how to truly realize and treat their leader; know better the due power of common citizens. In short, most scandals help society become a more democratic and prosperous one.

However, undue attention on scandals also have latent harm to society. Some scandals focus on little private things, which can little influence our law or society. It cost too much time and energy to notice or solve such fuss by both demos and the person involved in the scandals. What is more, it also ruin the normal life and work of such person, especially to politicians. Indeed, undue focus on scandals is harmful.

In sum, most scandals can attract much public attentions, and they can be useful to our society. However, people should have a proper attitude to scandals, for the reason that undue attentions on scandals also have harm to our society.

DriverEntryUID: 143979

总的来说还可以。但是开头和结尾的中心句还可以再改改。

一般用HOWEVER的时候，都是强转折，而且表示对HOWEVER前面叙述的否定(以后你作GRE阅读就知道了)，所以你在开头和结尾段的2个HOWEVER的语气显得过于强硬了些，和你的主体叙述不符。因为你的主体叙述里，还是讲丑闻的正面作用为主的，负面的比较少。

这时，我觉得用ON THE OTHER HAND稍微好些，表明丑闻的2方面作用是一种并列的关系，大家都要注意到。如果开头写的时候，你没注意到这点，那么到最后写完了，应该注意到你到底哪方面说的多，这时可以回头把第一段的HOWEVER改成ON THE OTHER HAND。

另外，倒数第2端可以举举歌星的例子。还有BODY1里的教授抄袭的例子我觉得不是很好，这个不算是很夸张的。

加油

山坡羊UID: 169978

非常感谢，受教了！：）

龙非UID: 193190

占个位，待会填

龙非UID: 193190

交作业


Is it true that all scandals are useful 看到这一句就觉得对题目的理解不够准确，题目是很严谨的说can be useful，但是这里这么一说全变味了，all scandals are useful？？, whether in politics, academia, or other area? Do they really focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? I agree with the speaker that scandals can attract more public than does speaker or reformer, and scandals always are beneficial to our society 看到了always are，印证了我前面的说法:D，不够严谨，本身这句话让谁看都觉得说服不了人, However, we should not overlook some potential harm brought with scandals.

It is factual and reasonable that scandals can focus much public attentions, for the reason that it is human nature to be interested in flaws of other people, especially that of famous ones. In addition, for enticing common people the mass media tend to report scandals of politicials, scholars, or stars, even turgidly For example, the former president Clinton's scrutiny report were downloaded by thansands of citizens; many people in the whole world watched carefully the incident. Also, in academic field, the plagiarizing of Wang Mingming, a famous anthropologist and professor in Peking University, aroused a sense of distrust with academic, myriads of people discuss over it time and time again. People usually have a sense of respect to such individuals, thus, they would care much for their scandals, whether to blame, or to defend. It is more attractive and vivid than what speaker or reformer speaks.

Based on widespread attentions on scandals, such scandals usually contribute much to our society. First, it help scrutinize leaders or other authorities, by admonish them not doing any wrong things from them on. And it is also a lesson for the others or successors. For instance, Nixon’s Water Gate tells every leader in democratic country cannot do any thing obeying the law and should not tell lies to cover his or her wrong; otherwise, even president could resign. Also, the Zipping Gate can tell a true story about loyalty to prouse; Professor Wang's experience advance the objective writing in Chinese academic field. In addition, scandals can reinforce the ability of holding their rights of public. People can learn much about how to truly realize and treat their leader; know better the due power of common citizens. In short, most scandals help society become a more democratic and prosperous one. 还是老问题，不够严谨，就你觉得这几个例子可以说明most吗？

However, undue attention on scandals also have latent harm to society. Some scandals focus on little private things, which can little influence our law or society. It cost too much time and energy to notice or solve such fuss by both demos and the person involved in the scandals. What is more, it also ruin the normal life and work of such person, especially to politicians. Indeed, undue focus on scandals is harmful.

In sum, most scandals can attract much public attentions, and they can be useful to our society. However, people should have a proper attitude to scandals, for the reason that undue attentions on scandals also have harm to our society.

整体来说，还是挺不错的，特别是限时。但是审题不够准确，体现在用词不够严谨。题目只是说丑闻有用，但是你把它generalize到all scandals are useful，scandals are always beneficial，most scandals help society。。。，这是很难证明的，你要在很多方面去论证还能说服人说OK，确实是大多数，但是在你的文章中体现不出来，而题目也没有要求你这样证，题目说丑闻有用，你就回应说，yes，丑闻确实有用，然后举例说明它有用就ok了，没有必要增加一些程度的词语

coweiliangUID: 195905

Is it true that all scandals are useful, whether in politics, academia, or other area? Do they really focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? I agree with the speaker that scandals can attract more public than does speaker or reformer, and scandals always are beneficial to our society. However, we should not overlook some potential harm brought with scandals.

It is factual and reasonable that scandals can focus much public attentions, for the reason that it is human nature to be interested in flaws of other people, especially that of famous ones. In addition, for enticing common people the mass media tend to report scandals of politicials, scholars, or stars, even turgidly For example, the former president Clinton's scrutiny report were downloaded by thansands of citizens; many people in the whole world watched carefully the incident. Also, in academic field, the plagiarizing of Wang Mingming, a famous anthropologist and professor in Peking University, aroused a sense of distrust with academic, myriads of people discuss over it time and time again. People usually have a sense of respect to such individuals, thus, they would care much for their scandals, whether to blame, or to defend. It is more attractive and vivid than what speaker or reformer speaks.

Based on widespread attentions on scandals, such scandals usually contribute much to our society. First, it help scrutinize leaders or other authorities, by admonishadmonishing them not doing any wrong things from them on.这句表达不好from then on?恐怕不是，换一个角度来表达你的意思：arouse the public attention/awarness And it is also a lesson for the others or successors. For instance, Nixon’s Water Gate tells every leader in democratic country cannot do any thing obeying the law and should not tell lies to coverconceal his or her wrong;语法有错哦 otherwise, even president could resign. Also, the Zipping Gate can tell a true story about loyalty to prouse; Professor Wang's experience advance the objective writing in Chinese academic field. In addition, scandals can reinforce the ability of holding their rights of public. People can learn much about how to truly realize and treat their leader; know better the due power of common citizens. In short, most scandals help society become a more democratic and prosperous one.这段感觉需要展的地方不能充分论证，有些地方不妨再简洁一点

However, undue attention on scandals also have latent harm to society. Some scandals focus on little private things, which can little influence our law or society. It cost too much time and energy to notice or solve such fuss by both demos and the person involved in the scandals. What is more, it also ruin the normal life and work of such person, especially to politicians. Indeed, undue focus on scandals is harmful.你既然第一段用however 带出重心，怎么这段写harm 的就这么短短？

In sum, most scandals can attract much public attentions, and they can be useful to our society. However, people should have a proper attitude to scandals, for the reason that undue attentions on scandals also have harm to our society.

山坡羊UID: 169978

先谢过龙非和coweiliang! 待会砸龙非的，等待coweiliang的
however真用错了，以后改。
龙非的审题很有启发，我是审偏了——审偏了也行，还没论证到！