issue36 同主题作文

zhangqiang928UID: 188538

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The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
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There is always a controversy that the greatness of individuals can be decided by whether those who live after them or their contemporaries. As far as am concern, I deny the assertion of the author, and that I strongly agree with that the greatness of individuals are objective and some can be admitted by their contemporaries but the others only by those who live after them. This attribute to at least three factors, such as complexity of the contributions, the capability of observers, and the condition where the observers are in.

To begin with, the greatness of individuals for the society are objective, which can’t be decided by anyone. Moreover, even if we don’t know the contributions of individuals, there also exist in the society. As we know, the realization is a process depending on many factors, such as the background of the observer, the condition of the society and so on, thus it will take time to realize it. What is the definition of the greatness? It is a relatively concept. As far as I am concern, the greatness is successful in art, academic, economy, and spirit. It is possibly that all the people who promote the society to widely develop in their field are greatnesses. For example, Einstein made a large contribution for the world so he is the greatness for human being, even if some opponent scientist didn’t admit his theory, but his theory has been made.

Furthermore, in certain extent, the individuals who are in the academic and technical field can be admitted easily by their contemporaries. In this era of rapid society and change of the technology, the software develops faster than other technology. Nowadays we all know Bill who creates the Microsoft which is famous all over the word. He has made success in software when he was very young, this is because the technology of the computer develops very fast and almost everyone has touched it or will touch. The process of realization is easy, thus in these fields many people concern them, so we can get a relatively objective observation of them. History also tells us many examples like this such as the Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa and so on, the greatness of individuals are all admitted by their contemporaries.

Finally, considering the complexity of the comment, some other field can’t be commented for many reasons. Take the political for example, we all know that Hitler is a person who is crazy for the war, but in his period many people claimed that he has many greatness, while few people in his Germany are against him. People can’t comment him since anyone who critical him will be executed. And also in our times, the political always is a sensitive problem. Usually we have to accept them in that the polity is protected by law and government. So considering these factors people in our time can’t objectively comment the greatness of individuals.

To sum up, we can comment on some greatness of individuals who is in scientific or academic field, but we can’t comment those who work in the field such political. In order to comment on the greatness of individuals better we should consider many factors and avoid including subjective attitude.

当阳光照遍每个角落
心情像风般漂泊不停留
抛开界限 快乐行走
我有属于自己的方式做梦

西安外国语学院 3月25日


注意：需回拍者留一个连接啊！你就是不拍我的留一个我也会拍的，要是不信就留一个吧！

sblbaslerUID: 175229

There is always a controversy that the greatness of individuals can be decided by whether those who live after them or their contemporaries. As far as am concern, I deny the assertion of the author, and that I strongly agree with that the greatness of individuals are objective and some can be admitted by their contemporaries but the others only by those who live after them. This attribute to at least three factors, such as complexity of the contributions, the capability of observers, and the condition where the observers are in.

To begin with, the greatness of individuals for the society are objective [B][不用分号吧][/B] which can’t be decided by anyone. Moreover, even if we don’t know the contributions of individuals, there also exist in the society. As we know, the realization is a process depending on many factors, such as the background of the observer, the condition of the society and so on, thus it will take time to realize it. What is the definition of the greatness? It is a relatively concept. As far as I am concern, the greatness is successful in art, academic, economy, and spirit.[U] It is possibly that all the people who promote the society to widely develop in their field are greatnesses[/U] .[B][这句话有问题吧，1,应该是possible而不是possibly 2 这句话是 it is possible that people are greatness？？？？3  应该是promote the society to fully developed 吧[/B]  For example, Einstein made a large contribution for [B][to][/B] the world so [U]he is the greatness [/U]  [B][人不能是greatness][/B] for human being, even if some opponent scientist[B]s[/B]  didn’t admit his theory, [but his theory has been made][B][我猜想这句话表达出来的意思肯定不是你要表达的，你这句话没有表现出爱因斯坦的理论的重要性，给我的理解就是：反正我把理论提出来了，管你承不承认，你能把我怎么地][/B]

[B][这一段你想表达的是greatness of individuals for the society are objective的吧，但到了中间你为什么要提出What is the definition of the greatness，关键是你后面对起定义的论述并没有太说明客观这个问题][/B]

Furthermore, in certain extent, the individuals who are in the academic and technical field can be admitted easily by their contemporaries. In this era of rapid society and change of the technology, the software develops faster than other technology. Nowadays we all know Bill who creates the Microsoft which is famous all over the word. [U]He has made success in software when he was very young, this is because the technology of the computer develops very fast and almost everyone has touched it or will touch. [/U]  [B][这句话逻辑有问题，现在人们能接触到电脑和BILL年轻时在电脑上的成就有什么关系呀][/B] The process of realization is easy, thus in these fields many people concern them, so we can get a relatively objective observation of them. History also tells us many examples like this such as the Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa and so on, the greatness of individuals are all admitted by their contemporaries.

Finally, considering the complexity of the comment, some other field can’t be commented for many reasons. Take the political for example, we all know that Hitler is a person who is crazy for the war, but in his period many people claimed that he has many greatness, while few people in his Germany are against him. People can’t comment him since anyone who critical him will be executed. And also in our times, the political always is a sensitive problem. Usually we have to accept them in that the polity is protected by law and government. So considering these factors people in our time can’t objectively comment the greatness of individuals.

To sum up, we can comment on some greatness of individuals who is in scientific or academic field, but we can’t comment those who work in the field such political. In order to comment on the greatness of individuals better we should consider many factors and avoid including subjective attitude.
[B][总的来说这篇文章存在这么几个问题1，语言：语法错误，或者说多数情况下是语言不规范以及不地道。2，整篇文章的构思其实不错，但在每段论证时都似乎不够有说服力。3，语言单调，短句比较多，其实在写例子的时候可以把好多例子用排比串起来

粗评，请多指教！[/B]

migao21UID: 58234

There is always a controversy that the greatness of individuals can be decided by whether those who live after them or their contemporaries. As far as am concern( 应该是as far as I am concerned 的吧), I deny (deny这个词感觉太严重了 )the assertion of the author, and that I strongly agree with ( 我觉得这里你用believe比较好，因为以下驳斥的观点是你自己提出的)that the greatness of individuals are objective and some can be admitted by their contemporaries but the others only by those who live after them. This attribute to at least three factors, such as complexity of the contributions, the capability of observers, and the conditions where the observers are in.

To begin with, the greatness of individuals for the society are objective, which can’t be decided by anyone. Moreover, even if we don’t know the contributions of individuals, there(they?) also exist in the society. As we know, the realization is a process depending on many factors, such as the background of the observer(用复数形式， condition也是 ), the condition of the society and so on, thus it will take time to realize it. What is the definition of the greatness? It is a relatively concept. As far as I am concern, the greatness is successful in art, academic, economy, and spirit. (我认为给greatness定义没有必要 )It is possibly ( possible)that all the people who promote the society to widely develop in their field are greatnesses.( 这句话好像不大通顺) For example, Einstein made a large contribution for the world so he is (was) the greatness for human being, even if some opponent scientist(scientists) didn’t admit his theory, but his theory has been made.(最后一句话能不能换个说法)
一开始立论很好， 但是论证的时候混乱， 没有条理，语法上注意复数形式 . greatness and great (person)我认为是有区别的， 好像这段里面作者理解为greatness = great person, 这样是否不妥？

Furthermore, in certain extent, the individuals who are in the academic and technical field ( fields ) can be admitted easily by their contemporaries. In this era of rapid society and change of the technology, the software develops faster than other technology. Nowadays we all know Bill (Bill Gates不难拼得 )who creates(created ) the Microsoft which is famous all over the word. He has made success in software when he was very young, 时态！this is because the technology of the computer develops very fast and almost everyone has touched it or will touch. The process of realization is easy,( 不要用中文式的英语，可以直接用it is easy for people to .....) thus in these fields many people concern them, so we can get a relatively objective observation of them. History also tells us many examples like this such as the Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa and so on, the greatness of individuals are all admitted by their contemporaries.
这段的论证比前面一段还要混乱 ， 既然一开始说了在学术和科技方面比较容易被承认的伟人，然后例举Bill Gates， 这里还说的过去，但是后面一段blah blah转向电脑软件技术的， 最后一句实在是失败， 同此段一开始相差甚远

Finally, considering the complexity of the comment, some other field can’t be commented for many reasons. Take the political for example, we all know that Hitler is a person who is crazy for the war, but in his period many people claimed that he has many greatness, while few people in his Germany are against him. People can’t comment him since anyone who critical him will be executed. And also in our times, the political always is a sensitive problem. Usually we have to accept them in that the polity is protected by law and government. So considering these factors people in our time can’t objectively comment the greatness of individuals.
简单语法错误（时态，词汇，主谓一致）太多了，恕不仔细修改。 感觉例子不大恰当

To sum up, we can comment on some greatness of individuals who is in scientific or academic field, but we can’t comment those who work in the field such political. In order to comment on the greatness of individuals better we should consider many factors and avoid including subjective attitude.

一些简单的语法错误应该先在word 里检查一番。

complexity of the contributions, the capability of observers, and the conditions where the observers are in.
说实在你一开始理出这3个方面不能算失败， 我以为你会从这3个方面来讨论， 从论证上来看你也确实努力想要做到，但是论述的过程是在没有条理， 例子举的不典型，有些甚至不恰当。 而且从文章结构和语法上来看，就像喇叭----越来越差， 恕我直言.

最后希望大家互改，链接在我的签名文档里