issue36 [color=#0048ff]同主题修改版，改过的同学过来瞄一眼，没改过的更加欢迎

viviansiUID: 190413

我觉得你的文章语言很好，这篇文章全是名人的例子，运用的时候感觉很熟练，不过从这个角度来写能写成这样很好了，但是要是多写的点论证的可能会更好，

龙非UID: 193190

to thinking: 谢谢你的意见
to 猫猫624:
你说得没错，说理不够，不过个人觉得现实一点的话，以我们的语言水平和时间限制，要探究深层原因，说透一件事情，不简单。当然，如果能加多点说理总是好事，需要自己把握，免得言多必失。对于issue来说，其实深度并不是关键，重要的是能够说服人接受你的观点，这个是考查的重点。
再谈谈你的提纲，不知你的position是什么，从提纲看没有重点。此外，如果要以你的提纲来写的话，恐怕没有很好的说理是说服不了人，因为你希望深入进去探究底层的原因。

龙非UID: 193190

to david，谢谢你的意见。
探讨一下让步段的做法，有很多同学都觉得让步段就一直让步，但我觉得让步段也是为了主题服务，不仅仅是为了表示你思维的严谨，在让步的同时，我们不忘说“虽然是有这种情况，但是跟我说的并不冲突”，文章会更有说服力，你觉得呢？

migao21UID: 58234

最初由 龙非 发布
[B]那我只要立论说不是，分领域每个举个例子说有当代可以，只要够严谨，不会影响分数，虽然如果能够深入进去将为什么会使文章更有深度，但是好像性价比不高，自圆其说是最主要的，因为我始终觉得我们的英语水平不允许我们在45分钟之内搞定，大牛可以考虑。
[/B]

完全赞同，值得学习。 我们总会认为论证越全越好，其实不然，由于时间和思维的限制， 很难做到面面俱到，这样只能都不俱到了。

最初由 猫猫624 发布
[B]但是看过之后发现作者正文前三段只是从三方面论证great people 可以由当代人评价,例子很多,但是有例子堆砌的感觉,也缺乏分析.
此外对题目分析也不太深入,只是列举现象事实[/B]

不同意你的观点。
昨天看一个帖子如下：
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=253394
讲到例子的重要性，可以你去看看

龙非UID: 193190

to 吱吱

Our mankind’s history is filled with numerous giants in all kinds of areas. Yet is posterity or contemporaries who on earth can decide the greatness of individuals? It is the people who can give an objective evaluation to the to-be great men. Thus, the posterities may be the most proper candidates who can evaluate the contributions of the great objectively by the rear-view mirror of history, but I believe that in some circumstances, the contemporaries can also clearly recognize the greatness of individuals and do the decision correctly.开头8错，赞。那一堆great也不见了，哈哈 嘻嘻，这个开头写完专门查了一下great哦

In the first place, the contemporaries can correctly decide the greatness of politicians sometimes. Commonly, the contributions of politicians are obvious and can be recognized immediately by those who live in the same time. Hence, the contemporaries can do the decision. For supporting examples we need look no further than Washington George, the U.S. first president. Wasn’t the achievement of the great president acknowledged his contemporaries who even named their capital after his name to remember him forever. 这句怎么wasn’t 然后找问号没找到 笔误，同时acknowledged 也少了个介词
Also consider that South Africa’s Nelson Mandela, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate, respected by the whole world now, is decided to be one of the greatest men of our time by us, his contemporaries. Thus, it can be see that in politics, sometimes the contemporaries can decide the accomplishment of politicians correctly and the posterities are not the only men.这段写的比上次读起来顺多了，上次那个第二句就是有些像例子又有些不像例子，塞进去连贯

Moreover, in art, under many circumstances, the contemporaries can also objectively decide the greatness of artists for the simple reason that art can be evaluated at face value. Whether in music, visual art or literature, there is nothing to be proved or be disproved and people can judge the artists' contributions relatively easily. The history is replete with such examples that artistic greatness is recognized immediately. Through his symphony, European in nineteenth century recognized Beethoven's musical accomplishment then;我和小鬼鬼一致认为这种句子读起来不顺劲，先代词，后冒出来主语。再讨论 这个要讨论讨论，这种用法是在老外看到的，我再找找资料While the greatness of Picasso was acknowledged in his prime of life, and Shakespeare already became household name even during his lifetime. For these convincing examples, we can draw a conclusion that sometimes, the contemporaries are also able to decide the greatness of the artists and there is no necessity of leaving all the decision to those live after them.实在没虾米可说了，还是写的不错，清晰明了

Even in science, in which realm, the theories should be proved or be disproved and the contemporaries may usually hardly to evaluate the scientist correctly. 这是个单句吧，上面in which realm貌似要定从了，但是没找到，而且为虾米要even呢？ 是定从啊，the theories in which，这里应该把下句合起来，even 是跟still对应的，分成两句就有问题了Sometimes, the contemporaneous are still able to decide the greatness of scientists. For instance, Thomas Edison who patented more than one thousand inventions was called one of the greatest inventors by his contemporaries and he really was deserved. And the three giants that the people of twentieth century regarded as three of the greatest scientists, Einstein for his theory of relativity, Heisenberg for his quantum mechanics, Watson for his spiral model, the double helix, for the molecular structure of DNA, are all live in the twentieth century. These examples tell us clearly that not only从你的例子好像没看出not only的意思，没有两边都顾的意思，我感觉你是为了回应题目的才提到这点 提得好，就是为了回应题目，但是显得突兀，不如不要the posterities but also the contemporaries can decide the achievement of the great scientists sometimes.

Admittedly, in many让步就别many了，说少数情况 咦，我记得我改成some了的，呵呵，我也是这样觉得的，让步不能用many，嘿嘿 situations, the contemporaries are limited in objective recognition of the achievement of the giants so that they can not decide the greatness of individuals correctly and have to leave the decision to the posterities. For examples, accomplishment of Van Gogh, one of the greatest painters, was recognized after he died. And Bruno was regards as a great scientist three hundred years after he was burned at the stake. Despite in many circumstances, only the posterities can decide the greatness of individuals, it is not all the time the contemporaneous can not do it, and sometimes they can as we have seen.嗯，不错，和上次写法不一样了，这段也不错，加强了你的观点，不过despite那句转的稍稍突了点，和你的例子连不上，为啥凡高没卖出去画布鲁诺被烧死了就是only the posterities can decide 觉得还是说你的当代人受到一些局限，比如当代流行的思潮了，审美了云云，影响到判断，但是这样如何如何。关键是在这段我又发现了好多great greatness哈哈啊哈 对于例子的分析很好，我改。great这个小子就是讨厌，一不小心就跑出来晃荡，ft

In conclusion, although the posterities are the appropriate candidates to evaluate the great men in many circumstances, the saying “The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries” as the speaker claims晕，开头不restate 赞，谁料放结尾去了，原封不动引用，不大好吧 is unreasonable and sometimes the contemporaries can also do the decision. 嗯，好多人指出来了，改，没商量

山坡羊UID: 169978

最初由 龙非 发布
[B]个人感觉分领域并不是万能药，我也是没有太好的想法，也就是觉得说理力度不够的话才会选分领域，这种做法有点四两拨千斤的感觉，特别是对于向36这种题目，你说“只有后代可..

以下省略...... [/B]

你说性价比高——说得好!
我也一直是把分领域作为最后没有办法的办法用，——但到现在为止一次没有用过。我还是尽量让自己爱上分领域吧；四两拨千斤，嗬嗬！
再接再励！

tianxuUID: 154343

Yet is posterity or contemporaries who on earth can decide the greatness of individuals? 改一下顺序：Who on earth can decide the greatness of those gaint? It is their posterities or contemporaries?

Wasn’t the achievement of the great president acknowledged +thathis contemporaries who even named their capital with改成after,name after固定搭配，以。。。命名 his name to to去掉would，或者把后面的remember＋edremember him forever. [怎么我对语法看不明白呢] ？？不是the achievement was knowledged的反问句吗？？嘻嘻，语法真的是好多问题哦！

Also consider that South Africa’s Nelson Mandela, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate, respected by the whole world now, is decided to be one of the greatest men of in？our time by us, his contemporaries.

Through his symphony, European in nineteenth century recognized Beethoven's musical accomplishment then好像要是状语中有his的话，Beethoven必须作句子的主语，否则咋读都不顺。Through his symphony, Beethoven was reccognized by the Europeans in 19th century ....;

leaving all the decision s

Even in science, in which realm, the theories should be proved or be disproved and the contemporaries may usually hardly to evaluate the scientist correctly. 这是个单句吧，上面in which realm貌似要定从了，但是没找到，而且为虾米要even呢？一看就是背过关键局势的人!!!!可惜没用对Even the area of science, in which the theoris should be roved of disproved the belief remains that the contemporaries may usually (be) hardly to evaluate the scientists correctly. However...
in conlusion，嘻嘻这文章累死我了，我终于明白我gg给我改作文时的心情了。加油把！每写完一个长句自己好好看看主，谓，宾，定，状，补。idea没什么了，关键是语言上欠缺很多（泼冷水喽）不要紧的，加油吧！大家都差不多了。[color]