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[i习作temp] issue13小语言种保护,越烂越战! [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2005-3-13 12:02:41 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
改了语法错误,修改的时候没有补充加句子
写完觉得很烂,大家表留情

Issue13
------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
It is noted that more and more lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. Then, is it the duty of the governments of those countries in which these languages are spoken devoting money and manpower to preventing such languages from extinction? In my opinion, whether one language is deserved to help existing should be based on detailed analysis weighing the benefit of those lesser-used languages to society with the cost of investment we put into that protection.

There are at least two reasons supporting that the governments should take some responsibilities to bolster the existence of those lesser-known languages though they are less spoken by natives. The first is closely related to the psychological need of those native speakers to define them. A particular language is the most effective reflection of particular geographical region. And the extinction of one language of a country often result in the decrease of their pride, dignity, for they lose their distinct heritage which make them difference from other ethnics. For supporting examples, we need only pay attention to the stubbornly insistence of European government to protect their language, though those language have been relatively less used in the Continent. France, for instance, even campaign a national action to obliterate the borrowed word in France for the purpose of purifying their own language. And one Canadian province persists to use France to be their official language though English is most overwhelming in the most part of Canada.

Another reason has to do with the ethical heritage which is closely related to a particular language, no matter how less their speaker are. As we all know, distinct region breeds different culture and so as to distinct civilization. The ebb and flow of unique language more or less determine the increase or decrease of unique culture. Furthermore, some particular language conveys special meaning and culture which other language cannot express. For example, some oriental languages, say Chinese word, express the meaning in terms of the shape of words. For that matter, the extinction of those languages will make their offspring confused about the actual meaning of those actions and circumstances which are conveyed by the language.

At the same time, there are still two reasons arguing whether government should invest money in protecting those languages. First, Darwinians will no doubt argue that it is reasonable for those less-used languages to go to demise for they are outweighed in the competition of languages. Understandably, the main function of language is to communicate between people, then one language which has fewer and fewer speakers means it is out of date and its main role is obsolete to great extent. In addition, given the resource of one government is limited and there are more pressing social and economic affairs in the country, to what extent the government should invest in preventing the extinction of those obsolete languages is still a problem. In fact, devoting money in protecting one language which has mean limited value, the government runs the risk of sacrificing the interests of the most people as a whole.

On balance, given the limited resource of governments, how to select and help the prosperity of less-used language should weigh between the revenue and expense that investment can bring to us. Just as in protecting animals in the risk of extinction, we prefer  panda to bug, we should set priority to what kind of language we should bolster and to what extent we pay to.
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沙发
发表于 2005-3-13 16:47:13 |只看该作者

楼主加油,知道你快考了

------正文------
It is noted that more and more lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. Then, is it the duty of the governments of those countries in which these languages are spoken devoting(to devote) money and manpower to preventing such languages from extinction? In my opinion, whether one language is deserved to help existing(这个用法有没有问题?) should be based on detailed analysis weighing the benefit of those lesser-used languages to society with the cost of investment we put into that protection.

There are at least two reasons supporting that the governments should take some responsibilities to bolster the existence of those lesser-known languages though they are less spoken by natives. The first is closely related to the psychological need of those native speakers to(who) define them. A particular language is the most effective reflection of particular geographical region. And the extinction of one language of a country often result(s) in the decrease of their pride, dignity, for they lose their distinct heritage which make them difference(different) from other ethnics(races). For supporting examples, we need only pay attention to the stubbornly(stubborn) insistence of European government(s) to protect their language(s), though those language have been relatively less used in the Continent. France, for instance, even campaign(s) a national action to obliterate the borrowed word in France for the purpose of purifying their own language. And one Canadian province persists to use France to be(as) their official language though English is most(是否可去掉?) overwhelming in the most part of Canada.
(这一段论证得很不错啊,例子也很恰当)
Another reason has to do with the ethical heritage which is closely related to a particular language, no matter how less their speaker(s) are. As we all know, distinct region breeds different culture and so as to distinct civilization. The ebb and flow of unique language more or less determine the increase or decrease of unique culture(文化的增加或减少?). Furthermore, some particular language conveys special meaning and culture which other language(s) cannot express. For example, some oriental languages, say Chinese word, express the meaning in terms of the shape of words. For that matter, the extinction of those languages will make their offspring confused about the actual meaning of those actions and circumstances which are conveyed by the language.
(还是没看出什么问题)
At the same time, there are still two reasons arguing whether government should invest money in protecting those languages. First, Darwinians will no doubt argue that it is reasonable for those less-used languages to go to demise for they are outweighed(应该不是超过吧?) in the competition of languages. Understandably, the main function of language is to communicate between people(这句你看能不能改成:languages mainly serve as the tool of communication between people), then one language which has fewer and fewer speakers means it is out of date and its main role is obsolete to great extent. In addition, given the resource of one government is limited and there are more pressing social and economic affairs in the country, to what extent the government should invest in preventing the extinction of those obsolete languages is still a problem. In fact, devoting money in protecting one language which has mean limited value(which possesses limited value), the government runs the risk of sacrificing the interests of the most people as a whole.
(这两个理由也蛮充分的,要我写估计也差不多)
On balance, given the limited resource of governments, how to select and help the prosperity of less-used language should weigh between the revenue and expense that investment can bring to us. Just as in protecting animals in the risk of extinction, we prefer panda to bug, we should set priority to what kind of language we should bolster and to what extent we pay to.

文章很流畅,对我很有启发。虽然快考了,但水平还是那么有限,看不出什么论证上的问题,只能改改小错误,还望见谅!
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板凳
发表于 2005-3-13 17:23:04 |只看该作者
谢谢mythzt哈,一起努力!

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地板
发表于 2005-3-13 18:41:17 |只看该作者

[color=fuchsia]修改了一下,大家拍这个[/color]

Issue13
------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
It is noted that more and more lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. Then, is it the duty of the governments of those countries in which these languages are spoken to devote money and manpower to preventing such languages from extinction? In my opinion, whether one language deserves protection should be based on detailed analysis weighing the benefit of those lesser-used languages to society with the cost of investment we put into that protection.

There are at least two reasons supporting that the governments should take some responsibilities to bolster the existence of those lesser-known languages though they are less spoken by natives. The first is closely related to the psychological need of those native speakers. A particular language is the most effective reflection of particular geographical region. And the extinction of one language of a country often results in the decrease of their pride, dignity, for they lose their distinct heritage which makes them different from other races. For supporting examples, we need only pay attention to the stubborn insistence of European governments to protect their language, though those languages have been relatively less used in the Continent. France, for instance, even campaigns a national action to obliterate the borrowed word in France for the purpose of purifying their own language. And one Canadian province persists to use France as their official language though English is most overwhelming in the most part of Canada.

Another reason has to do with the ethical heritage which is closely related to a particular language, no matter how less their speakers are. As we all know, distinct region breeds different culture and so as to distinct civilization. The ebb and flow of unique language more or less determine the progress or decline of unique culture. Furthermore, some particular language conveys special meaning and culture which other languages cannot express. For example, some oriental languages, say Chinese word, express the meaning in terms of the shape of words. For that matter, the extinction of those languages will make their offspring confused about the actual meaning of those actions and circumstances which are conveyed by the language.

At the same time, there are still two reasons arguing whether government should invest money in protecting those languages. First, Darwinists will no doubt argue that it is reasonable for those less-used languages to go to demise for they are outweighed in the competition of languages. Understandably, the main function of language is to communicate among people, then one language which has fewer and fewer speakers means it is out of date and its main role is obsolete to great extent. In addition, given the resource of one government is limited and there are more pressing social and economic affairs in the country, to what extent the government should invest in preventing the extinction of those obsolete languages is still a problem. In fact, devoting money to protecting one language which possesses limited value, the government runs the risk of sacrificing the interests of the most people as a whole.

On balance, given the limited resource of governments, how to select and help the prosperity of less-used language should weigh between the revenue and expense that investment can bring to us. Just as in protecting animals in the risk of extinction, we prefer panda to bug, we should set priority to what kind of language we should bolster and to what extent we pay to.

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2005-3-14 09:01:26 |只看该作者
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
It is noted that more and more lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. Then, is it the duty of the governments of those countries in which these languages are spoken to devote money and manpower to preventing such languages from extinction? In my opinion, whether one language deserves protection should be based on detailed analysis weighing the benefit of those lesser-used languages to society with the cost of investment we put into that protection. 开头清晰直接

There are at least two reasons supporting that the governments should take some responsibilities to bolster the existence of those lesser-known languages though they are less spoken by natives. The first is closely related to the psychological need of those native speakers. A particular language is the most effective reflection of particular geographical region. And the extinction of one language of a country often results in the decrease of their pride, dignity, for they lose their distinct heritage which makes them different from other races. For supporting examples, we need only pay attention to the stubborn insistence of European governments to protect their language, though those languages have been relatively less used in the Continent. France, for instance, even campaigns a national action to obliterate the borrowed word in France for the purpose of purifying their own language. And one Canadian province persists to use FranceFrance不是less-known的语种吧,都当官方语言了,怎么可能extinct?这个例子再考虑下 as their official language though English is most overwhelming in the most part of Canada. 觉得结尾最好加点分析,倒不是一定要以理论来结尾,我觉得可能是读书的习惯,忽然例子后就没了,有些急。这段前面的分析还不错,如果结尾能更深刻一些会更好吧。个人看法

Another reason has to do with the ethical heritage which is closely related to a particular language, no matter how less their speakers are.8错,这个观点 As we all know, distinct region breeds different culture and so as to distinct civilization. The ebb and flow of unique language more or less determine the progress or decline of unique culture. Furthermore, some particular language conveys special meaning and culture which other languages cannot express. For example, some oriental languages, say Chinese word,汗,世界上使用人口最多的语言,后面又说extinction,欠妥 express the meaning in terms of the shape of words. For that matter, the extinction of those languages题目说的是less-known language,可不带汉语吧,注意扣题 will make their offspring confused about the actual meaning of those actions and circumstances which are conveyed by the language.这段例子不恰当,前面的分析不错

At the same time, 觉得弱的转折词好点,这个at the same time虽然有但是的意思,但是我感觉好像是并列的含义用的多there are still two reasons arguing whether government should invest money in protecting those languages. First, Darwinists will no doubt argue that it is reasonable for those less-used languages to go to demise for they are outweighed in the competition of languages. Understandably, the main function of language is to communicate among people, then one language which has fewer and fewer speakers means it is out of date and its main role is obsolete to great extent.貌似和你上文的观点稍有矛盾,影响交流不代表没有历史文化意义呀 In addition, given the resource of one government is limited and there are more pressing social and economic affairs in the country, to what extent the government should invest in preventing the extinction of those obsolete languages is still a problem. In fact, devoting money to protecting one language which possesses limited value, the government runs the risk of sacrificing the interests of the most people as a whole. 这段考虑方面比较周全

On balance, given the limited resource of governments, how to select and help the prosperity of less-used language should weigh between the revenue and expense that investment can bring to us.这明显是B3出现的细节问题,前面B1B2都强调了重要性,既然如此深远意义,保护一下还要看投入和产出,个人认为不恰当Just as in protecting animals in the risk of extinction, we prefer panda to bug,是因为稀有还是因为投入会有收获?我没看见有虾米收获,养熊猫的钱不如去捐献希望工程 :mad: (个人情感,和你这篇无关)只是还是上面那句的延续,on balance的内容有些欠妥当,我觉得还是看一个语言代表的文化的历史意义来保护,而不是investment 的问题。而且这个类比欠妥,怎么会是熊猫和臭虫的关系呢? :confused: we should set priority to what kind of language we should bolster and to what extent we pay to.结尾个人认为一开始的观点有些不够全面,再考虑下 :p color]


总的说,整体还不错,细节上有些需要再斟酌下的地方,尤其是例子的选取要符合你的主题。结尾要呼应全文,提出自己的解决思路或者号召呼喊之类。语言也不错。这个状态去考试么有问题的,加油!祝好运成功!
痛快去爱痛快去痛
痛快去悲伤痛快去感动
生命给了什么我就享受什么
每颗人间烟火全都美丽了我

笑与哭都值得用力气
吻和泪都是该裱框纪念的痕迹
很乐意每段路都有陌生人同行
爱或伤害都欢呼都是活过的证据

每一天都是一个节庆


offer快来吧!

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发表于 2005-3-14 11:17:12 |只看该作者
太过奖了!天天写文章很痛苦啊

我再仔细看看

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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2005-3-14 12:43:57 |只看该作者

Re: [color=fuchsia]修改了一下,大家拍这个[/color]

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B]Issue13
------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in whic..

以下省略...... [/B]



总体感觉文章很流畅,进步很快,沉着迎战,等着分享机井和胜利的喜悦
重返寄托

三十而立 战战兢兢
如临深渊 如履薄冰

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发表于 2005-3-14 13:34:20 |只看该作者
谢谢davidjacky,victoriazhizhi鼓励!

不知道我的痛苦啊

每次都要写60分钟,这个文章也不例外,气死!

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RE: issue13小语言种保护,越烂越战! [修改]

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issue13小语言种保护,越烂越战!
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