Argument4 卖房子的,高频,求组队砖友3.23

yiyi2005UID: 192894

Argument4  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：30分3秒     422 words
从2005年2月13日11时8分到2005年2月13日11时30分
------题目------
The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'
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In this argument, the author recommends if we want to sell homes quickly and at a good price we should choose Adams. To bolster it, he cited several evidence, which I find suspect in several grounds.

The fact that Fitch has fewer agents than Adams does not necessarily mean Adam is better than Fitch. Common sense informs us that it is the efficiency of a company not the number of agents of a company that determines it quality. It is true that Adam has more agents but we have no information about how much work has been done by each agent compared to that of Fitch, thus leaving this evidence open to doubt. The fact that many of Fitch's agents work part-time is the same with about its efficiency.

The second problem with the argument is that the author unfairly assumes that Adams sells houses at a higher price than Fitch does. It is highly possible that Adams homes are more luxurious and their location are better than those of Fitch, which explain the fact that Adam's revenue was twice as high as that of Fitch and that the average price of Adam's house is higher than those of Fitch. Unless the author can illustrate that the two companies sell the same kind of houses and that Adam's prices are higher than that of Fitch’s, I would remain unconvinced about the author's recommendation.

The third problem is about the experience that the author cited as an evidence to support his claim. First, ten years has passed, and the situations about the two companies are very likely to be largely different. In this case the experience lends little support to the author's recommendation. Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that his own experience is representative of the overall client of the two real estate firms. It is entirely possible that his experience is the only exception of many cases, while in other cases Fitch sells faster and higher than Adams. Moreover the author provide no information about conditions of his two houses and the price Fitch sell , may the former is smaller and located in a respectively poorer place while the latter is the opposite and the former sells at a higher price.

In sum, the author's recommendation is groundless as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide more information about the efficiency of the members of the two companies. To better assess the argument I need to know what the prices of the same kind of house the two companies sell and more information about the author's experience.

mariaUID: 197971

------题目------
The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author recommends if we want to sell homes quickly and at a good price we should choose Adams. To bolster it, he cited several evidence, which I find suspect in several grounds.

The mere fact其实作者也并没有仅凭这一点就说Adam is better than Fitch that Fitch has fewer agents than Adams does not necessarily mean Adam is better than Fitch. Common sense informs us that it is the efficiency of a company not the number of agents of a company that determines itits quality. It is true that Adam has more agents but we have no information about how much work has been done by the去掉the 吧？ each agent compared to that of Fitch,这据说成与Fitch公司相比we have no information about what has been done by each agent is more,在界下面的或许更自然些 thus leaving this evidence open to doubt. The fact that Fitch's agents work part-time is the same with about its efficiency.

The second problem with the argument is that the author unfairly assumes that Adams achieves more than Fitch.我觉得第二个错误主要是未必能说明sell at a good price ,你这儿的表述有点问题It is highly possible that Adams homes are more luxurious and their location are better than those of Fitch, which explain the fact that Adam's revenue was twice as high as that of Fitch and that the average price of Adam's house is higher than those of Fitch. Unless the author can illustrate that the two companies sell the same kind of houses and that Adam's prices are higher than that of Fitch’s, Iit remain unconvinced about the author's recommendation.

The third problem is about the experience that the author cited as an evidence to support his claim. First, ten years has passed, and the situations about the two companies are very likely to change rapidlybe largely different. In this case the experience lends little support to the author's recommendation. Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that his own experience is representative of the overall client of the two real estate firms. It is entirely possible that his experience is the only exception of many cases, while in other cases Fitch sells faster and higher than Adams. Moreover the author provide no information about conditions of his two houses and the price Fitch sell , may the former isbe smaller and locate in a respectively poor place which the latter is the opposite and the former sells a higher price.觉得这段写的最好了

In sum, the author's recommendation is groundless as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide more information about the efficiency of the members of the two companies. To better assess the argument I need to know what the prices of the same kind of house the two companies sell and more information about the author's experience.

错误基本是找对了，感觉就是在表述上还可以写得更好一点，以上尽是个人观点，不当之处再讨论我的一篇issue 有空帮我看看吧
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=254893

athiferUID: 199136

------题目------
The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author recommends if we want to sell homes quickly and at a good price we should choose Adams. To bolster it, he cited改为cites several evidence, which I find suspect in several grounds.

The mere fact that Fitch has fewer agents than Adams does not necessarily mean Adam is better than Fitch.由原文moreover和as well可知三个evidence在支持conclusion上是并列的,用the mere fact不妥Common sense informs us that it is the efficiency of a company not the number of agents of a company that determines its quality. It is true that Adam has more agents but we have no information about how much work has been done by the去掉the each agent compared to that of Fitch, thus leaving this evidence open to doubt. The fact that Fitch's agents work part-time is the same with about its efficiency.准确起见,用many of Fitch's agents work part-time好些.虽然是"同理可证",但再作一些分析会让人觉得更加严密

The second problem with the argument is that the author unfairly assumes that Adams achieves achieves用在这里不够准确 more than Fitch. It is highly possible that Adams homes are more luxurious and their location are better than those of Fitch, which explains the fact that Adam's revenue was twice as high as that of Fitch and that the average price of Adam's house is higher than those 用that, 对应the average price of Fitch. Unless the author can illustrate that the two companies sell the same kind of houses and that Adam's prices are higher than that of Fitch’s, I would remain unconvinced about the author's recommendation.

The third problem is about the experience that the author cited 改为cites as an evidence to support his claim. First, ten years has passed, and the situations about the two companies are very likely to change rapidly. change rapidly动态性太强,而这里只要说明现在和10年前情况(状态)可能不同 In this case the experience lends little support to the author's recommendation. Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that his own experience is representative of the overall client of the two real estate firms. It is entirely possible that his experience is the only exception of many cases, while in other cases Fitch sells faster and higher than Adams does. Moreover the author provides no information about conditions of his two houses and the prices Fitch sell, may改为maybe the former is smaller and locate改为located in a respectively poorer place which改为and the latter is the opposite and改为but the former sells a higher price.本段分析得比较清楚

In sum, the author's recommendation is groundless as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide more information about the efficiency of the members of the two companies. To better assess the argument I need to know what the prices of the same kind of house the two companies sell and more information about the author's experience.
三个逻辑错误得到较有力的反驳,语法结构和用词上还可以有一些改进.另外觉得把arguer限定为男士可能会引起批阅者的不满
以后也请指教

yiyi2005UID: 192894

根据两位的建议改过了,很受鼓舞,多谢关照
to maria: 你的文章也帮你看过,还多交流.