Issue 144.同主题写作，第一篇试手。期待任何意见

dream a dreamUID: 198106

144"It is the artist, not the critic, a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc. who gives society something of lasting value."

510words, 2hours

We are always deeply moved by the fifth symphony of Beethoven, impressed by <Sunrise>, the most famous painting of Impressionism, and attracted by the grand description of Oedipus. Undoubtedly, the charm of these artworks lie in the artworks themselves, and almost all people who like them can appreciate them without any influence from outside. And who create these talent works, artists. When it concerned to lasting value of some works of art, I agree with the assumption that it is the artist not the critic gives them to the society.

First of all, we should concentrate on the significance of lasting value. Many talent works of arts can convulse people deeply even by their first appearance, because they have powerful artistic strength originally. People understand how to appreciate and recognize these kinds of artworks, although the degrees and tastes maybe different. And on the other hand, some artworks became classical works at last although there was no critic pay any attention to them during a long time. The two opposite phenomenon testify the same point, whether an artwork has the lasting value or not relies on the artwork itself, representing the life of an era or being a symbol of some famous ideas, not the comments from critics.

Furthermore, when we compare the different functions of an artist and a critic to a special artwork, we can get a result easily that the works of a critic are based on those of an artist. An artist creates the artwork, and then the critic has the original material to begin his comments. A critic, who just evaluates and interpret the works of art, cannot kill the value of the art or help them to create value. We cannot ignore another fact that different critics have different ideas about the same artwork, some praise it high and others low, as a result, what can we attain from all various opinions?  So ideas from critics can only be reference materials when people appreciate a work of art, but not the standards. What people think important and lasting are generated from the artwork.

However, critics play a quite important even indispensable role when people appreciate an artwork. They can help us understand something of value from a seemly ordinary painting or architecture, especially some works of modern behavior art, which are always too profound to be understood by common. Critics help to discover the value of those works of art to public, and they can discuss the significance or state their own views about them. But when asked if the works of art have something lasting value, no critics can give an exact answer. In some degree, the works of art should win acceptance in art field and experience a quite long time to represent the lasting value.

In all, I believe that it is the artist who creates many worthy works and some of them become the eternal treasure of the human society. Moreover, with the help of the critics, we have a better comprehension about these products, and we cherish them much more.

谢谢你的任何意见！

davidjackyUID: 135962

144"It is the artist, not the critic, a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc. who gives society something of lasting value."

510words, 2hours

We are always deeply moved by the fifth symphony of Beethoven, impressed by <Sunrise>这么写干吗？你确定吗？, the most famous painting of Impressionism, and attracted by the grand description of Oedipus. Undoubtedly, the charm of these artworks lie in the artworks themselves, and almost all people who like them can appreciate them without any influence from outside. And who create these talent works, artists. When it concerned to lasting value of some works of art, I agree with the assumption that it is the artist not the critic gives them to the society.【有一点点罗嗦的开头，但是表现还是不错】

First of all, we should concentrate on the significance of lasting value. Many talent works of arts can convulse people deeply even by their first appearance, because they have powerful artistic strength originally. People understand how to appreciate and recognize these kinds of artworks, although the degrees and tastes maybe different. And on the other hand, some artworks became classical works at last although there was no critic pay any attention to them during a long time. The two opposite phenomenon testify the same point, whether an artwork has the lasting value or not relies on the artwork itself, representing the life of an era or being a symbol of some famous ideas, not the comments from critics.

Furthermore, when we compare the different functions of an artist and a critic to a special artwork, we can get a result easily that the works of a critic are based on those of an artist. An artist creates the artwork, and then the critic has the original material to begininitiate his comments. A critic, who just evaluates and interpret the works of art, cannot kill the value of the art or help them to create value. We cannot ignore another fact that different critics have different ideas about the same artwork, some praise it high and others low, as a result, what can we attain from all various opinions? So ideas from critics can only be reference materials when people appreciate a work of art, but not the standards. What people think important and lasting are generated from the artwork.这段讲理很多，好像每一句都是一个观点：你说有A的original的作品才有C的comments；C不能Create或killA的作品Value，尽管不一定，但是可以这么写，要指出的是，写了你应该有写论证，后面又转到不同的C对同一A的作品有不同的意见，事实上，你可以针对一点好好发挥就可以，你说呢？

However, critics play a quite important even indispensable role when people appreciate an artwork. They can help us understand something of value from a seemly ordinary painting or architecture, especially some works of modern behavior art, which are always too profound to be understood by common. Critics help to discover the value of those works of art to public, and they can discuss the significance or state their own views about them. 从这里你就不跟着TS走，为什么呢，这段你不是要说C对A的重要性吗，为什么变卦。更坏的是前面两句就是意义的重复，无任何论证的深度，哪怕来个例子也可以。But when asked if the works of art have something lasting value, no critics can give an exact answer. In some degree, the works of art should win acceptance in art field and experience a quite long time to represent the lasting value.

In all, I believe that it is the artist who creates many worthy works and some of them become the eternal treasure of the human society. Moreover, with the help of the critics, we have a better comprehension about these products, and we cherish them much more.

最后还冠冕堂皇的说C的好处，但是你那个But实在是令人费解，至少我很难理解，可以告诉我吗？

dream a dreamUID: 198106

Thank you for your criticizing very much.
I think you point my drawbacks out very vell.
I will modify it as soon as possible.

boyjimUID: 125249

We are always deeply moved by the fifth symphony of Beethoven, impressed by <Sunrise>, the most famous painting of Impressionism, and attracted by the grand description of Oedipus. Undoubtedly, the charm [charisma会不会更好？] of these artworks lie in the artworks themselves, and almost all people who like them can appreciate [你的排比用得不错，来个押尾韵更好people who are sensitive with art can appreciate and cherish] them without any influence from outside. And who create these talent works, artists. [这里你想创造一个短句，但是没弄明白你想说什么] When it concerned to lasting value of some works of art, I agree with the assumption that it is the artist not the critic gives them to the society.

First of all, we should concentrate on the significance of lasting value. Many talent works of arts can convulse people deeply even by their first appearance, because they have [去掉because they have,for the sake of] powerful artistic strength originally [originality] . People understand how to appreciate and recognize these kinds of artworks, although the degrees and tastes maybe different [换掉这个滥词] . And on the other hand, [前面没有on the one hand] some artworks became classical works at last although there was no critic pay any attention to them during a long time [during a long time画蛇添足之嫌] . The two opposite phenomenon [复数] testify the same point, whether an artwork has the lasting value or not relies on the artwork itself, representing the life of an era or being a symbol of some famous ideas, not the comments from critics.
[价值本身具有，无需评论员多嘴]

Furthermore, when we compare the different functions of an artist and a critic to a special artwork, we can get [换掉这个滥词] a result easily that the works of a critic are based on those of an artist. An artist creates the artwork, and then the critic has the original material to begin his comments. A critic, who just evaluates and interpret the works of art, cannot kill [undermine都比这个好，比undermine好的还有更多，或者可以用snuff out] the value of the art or help them to create value. [这里是一个递进的关系，最好有一个承上启下的词] We cannot ignore another fact that different [这个词重复了好多次，大忌阿！] critics have different [用vary就好了，在改改句型] ideas about the same artwork, some praise it high and others low [直接用otherwise就好了] , as a result, what can we attain from all various opinions? [你想表达什么] So ideas from critics can only be reference materials when people appreciate a work of art, but not the standards. What people think important and lasting [语法有毛病] are generated from the artwork. [想表达什么？]

However, critics play a quite important even indispensable [押头韵不错] role when people appreciate an artwork. They can help us understand [这个词换！] something of [加一个形容词] value from a seemly ordinary painting or architecture, especially some works of modern behavior art, which are always too profound to be understood by common. Critics help to discover the value of those works of art to public, and they can discuss the significance or state their own views about them. But when asked if the works of art have something lasting value, no critics can give an exact answer. [不明白你说什么，不如不写] In some degree, the works of art should win acceptance in art field and experience a quite long time to represent the lasting value. [有点累赘]

In all, I believe that it is the artist who creates many worthy works and some of them [指代错误some 这里指代artists，改表达] become the eternal treasure of the human society. Moreover, with the help of the critics, we have a better comprehension about these products, and we cherish them much more. [结尾就不要来让步拉！]

[总的扣住观点了，结尾的让步是一个败笔，让步至少要用despite把他约束，否则就paradox了]

dream a dreamUID: 198106

谢谢楼上的，你们改的很仔细。看了你们改的真的都不敢看自己写的什么东西。

Mars3000UID: 198477

很仔细的拜读您的的大作了
感觉写的已经不错了
不是不想提些建议
jim兄的点评实在是入木三分
小弟再妄加评论难免狗尾续貂之嫌
上面两位大牛对于结尾是个败笔的评论深感赞同
但有些不明白最后的some为什么指代错误呢?

dream a dreamUID: 198106

144"It is the artist, not the critic, a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc. who gives society something of lasting value."

728字
观点：
Many talent works of arts can convulse people deeply even by their first appearance for the sake of powerful artistic strength originally. Due to the different social environment or recognition level, some arts have sunk for many years before success. The lasting value of an art exists all the time from its birth.

When we compare the different functions of an artist and a critic for a special artwork, we can get a result easily that the works of a critic are based on those of an artist.

Even though, critics play a quite important role in art world

正文：
Many people are deeply moved by the fifth symphony of Beethoven, impressed by < Impression of Sunrise >, the most famous painting of Impressionism, and attracted by the grand description of Oedipus even in their first experience to recognize these artworks. What contribute to the effect are always believed the power of the artwork itself, which is the strong feeling which is embedded with the art, or sometimes the realistic theme the art want to express.  We cannot deny what critics said and wrote would influence people’s sentiment, but the reason why people think some talent artworks has something of lasting value, is because the great significance and charisma of them gain the respect and acceptance of the public. So when it concerned to lasting value of some works of art, I agree with the assumption that it is the artist who created he art, not the critic gives the value to the society.

First of all, we should concentrate on the emphasized significance of lasting value in the assumption. Many talent works of arts can convulse people deeply even by their first appearance for the sake of powerful artistic strength originally. People understand how to appreciate these kinds of artworks, although the degrees and tastes maybe varied. <Impression of Sunrise>, the famous painting of Monet, surprised the contemporary art world by the unique painting style and manner when it was first exhibited in Paris, and from that time on, the name of the painting even became the name of an influential genre, Impressionism, in painting history. It is the attention from public, not the comments from some critics that make the painting success. Maybe some people would give examples that some artworks became classic after sinking many years, and it is because the critics who discovered their internal value so that they became knockout ones. However, if we seek the objective reasons about that phenomenon, we can ask us several questions: why the critics cannot find out the value when the artwork was just created? And why the artwork would represent its power and be appreciated well by people at last? When we think the answers over we can understand that it is due to the different social environment or recognition level that result in the opposite, and the lasting value of an art exists all the time from its birth. The two contrary phenomenon above, success at the first appearance or after experiencing a long period, testify the same point, whether an artwork has the lasting value or not relies on the artwork itself, representing the life of an era or being a symbol of some famous ideas, not the comments from critics.

Furthermore, when we compare the different functions of an artist and a critic for a special artwork, we can get a result easily that the works of a critic are based on those of an artist. An artist creates the artwork, and then the critic has the original material to begin his comments. If we talk about the generation process of the timeless value of an artwork, the first contributor is the artist, then the critic. A critic, who just evaluates and interpret the works of art, cannot kill the value of the art, for that it will glow even being buried if it is truly invaluable, or help them to create value, none worthless things would exist through the time test. Otherwise, even about the same artwork, different critic has different views, some praise it high and others low, as a result, what we can attain from critics are reference ideas, interpretations, and some generalizations, not the evaluation standards when we appreciate a work of art.

Even though, critics play a quite important role in art world. They can help people better comprehend something of great value from a seemly ordinary painting or architecture, especially some works of modern behavior art, which are always too profound to be understood by common. They also help to spread the arts wide over the people. Undoubtedly the existence of the critics enriches the art world, inspires the creation of artists.

In all, I believe that it is the artist who creates many worthy works, some of which become the eternal treasure of the human society. Thanking artists for giving so many enjoyments to the society first, then thanking critics for providing diverse points of view to people enjoying arts.


一个问题：phenomenon 和phenomena,哪一个是复数形式？

dream a dreamUID: 198106

斑竹和boyjim的修改让我受益匪浅，我不知不觉该了3个小时，出来这一篇。希望要比上次进步！