Issue50 又是关于教育的,可是偶写了好多此类题目仍然写的很乱,大家来帮忙看看呀.

iverUID: 198348

Issue50 ------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分2秒     473 words
从2005年2月14日21时47分到2005年2月14日22时45分
------题目------
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
------正文------
        The speaker asserts that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in profession relevant to the subjects they teach for the sake of improving the quality of instruction at the college and university level. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that, if faculty has the experience of working outside their academic fields, such as, engineering, manufacturing, and so forth, students will gain the knowledge as well as the capacity to address the practical problems. As for requiring all faculty to working outside their academic fields, it will do harm to the development of the research of the faculty as well as the growing of students.
      
       Firstly, in modern colleges and universities, most of them mean cultivate students for an appropriate job after their graduation. As for such kind of college or university, the faculty should exert to keep pace with the advancement of the technology and the practical application in company. With the plentiful experience gained from outside the academic world, latest information and teaches from the faculty's professions relevant to the courses they teach, the course will become attractive and effective. A telling example is that an economics student will understand and mater how to distribute the resource including personnel, material, etc, if his or her economics teacher impart both the relative conception and the experience acquired from the profession as an manager in a company.

      While the experience of faculty render the courses easily to be mastered, there are also many bad effects if all faculty are required to spend time working outside, what is worse, it may undermine academic progress in such respects as humanities, physics, physiological. On one hand, I am hard pressing to find a profession relevant to the courses with humanities. In fact, improving the quality of instruction in humanities requires the knowledge of history, culture, and society rather than experience of working in such profession. On other hand, it is of no avail, even waste of time, to working outside for the professor researching and teaching physics. Common sense tell us that if one make great progress in physics, he or she should must know the fundamental physical knowledge, theory and do more experiments, according to the physical facts, with guidance of the teacher. So, if the teacher works outside with guidance and address the questions of students, the quality of instruction will be undermined.      

        In the final analysis, when it comes to working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses, faculty should depend on which courses they teach. In some fields, such as, humanities, physiological, and so forth, faculty should try to focus on the student rather than working outside. As in other respects, faculty should exert to improve the instruction with appropriate experiences outside the academic world in balance.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

没人改？我来看看吧

bcomerUID: 182621

最初由 鬼谷子 发布
[B]没人改？我来看看吧 [/B]

follow you:)
一会revise

bablUID: 190621

Issue50 ------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：45分2秒 473 words
从2005年2月14日21时47分到2005年2月14日22时45分
------题目------
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
------正文------
The speaker asserts that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in profession relevant to the subjects they teach for the sake of improving the quality of instruction at the college and university level. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that, if faculty has the experience of working outside their academic fields, such as, engineering, manufacturing, and so forth, students will gain the knowledge as well as the capacity to address the practical problems. As for这里用表示转折的词，However、Nevertheless我觉得更好 requiring all faculty to working outside their academic fields, it will do harm to the development of the research of the faculty as well as the growing of students.感觉开头太长了一点，有关engineering, manufacturing的这些举例放在后面是不是会好一些

Firstly, in modern colleges and universities, most of them mean cultivate students for an appropriate job after their graduation. As for such kind of college or university, the faculty should exert to keep pace with the advancement of the technology and the practical application in company. With the plentiful experience gained from outside the academic world, latest information and teaches这里teach作名词？没怎么看懂 from the faculty's professions relevant to the courses they teach, the course will become attractive and effective. A telling example is that an economics student will understand and mater how to distribute the resources including personnel, material, etc, if his or her economics teacher impart both the relative conception and the experience acquired from the profession as an manager in a company.表示这样的效果更好，前面半句可以加上more effectively，不然整个句子显得力度不够

While the experience of faculty render the courses easily to be mastered, there are also many bad effects if all faculty are required to spend time working outside, what is worse, it may undermine academic progress in such respects as humanities, physics, physiological. On one hand, I am hard pressing to find a profession relevant to the courses with humanities. In fact, improving the quality of instruction in humanities requires the knowledge of history, culture, and society rather than experience of working in such profession. On other hand, it is of no avail, even waste of time, to working outside for the professor researching and teaching physics.这一段写得很不错 Common sense tell us that if one make great progress in physics, he or she should must know the fundamental physical knowledge, theory and do more experiments, according to the physical facts, with guidance of the teacher. So, if the teacher works outside with guidance and address the questions of students, the quality of instruction will be undermined.

In the final analysis, when it comes to working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses, faculty should depend on which courses they teach. In some fields, such as, humanities, physiological, and so forth, faculty should try to focus on the student rather than working outside. As in other respectsfields, faculty should exert to improve the instruction with appropriate experiences outside the academic world in balance.


第一次改文章，见笑了。因为我自己语言功底也不太好，所以大多数只是提了一些结构上的意见。这篇issue我还没有看，不过如果写的话也就是按照学科来分别讨论了。另外我觉得是否可以再加一些具体例子进去。

leezedUID: 195039

我来也

leezedUID: 195039

The speaker asserts that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in profession relevant to the subjects they teach for the sake of improving the quality of instruction at the college and university level. As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that, if faculty has the experience of working outside their academic fields, such as, engineering, manufacturing, and so forth, students will gain the knowledge as well as the capacity to address the practical problems. As for requiring all faculty to working [work] outside their academic fields, it will do harm to the development of the research of the faculty as well as the growing of students.

Firstly, in modern colleges and universities, most of them mean cultivate students for an appropriate job after their graduation. As for such kind of college or university, the faculty should exert to keep pace with the advancement of the technology and the practical application in company. With the plentiful experience gained from outside the academic world, latest information and teaches from the faculty's professions relevant to the courses they teach, the course will become attractive and effective.这句读着别扭 A telling example is that an economics student will understand and mater [master] how to distribute the resource including personnel, material, etc, if his or her economics teacher impart both the relative conception and the experience acquired from the profession as an manager in a company.

While the experience of faculty render the courses easily to be mastered, there are also many bad effects if all faculty are required to spend time working outside, what is worse, it may undermine academic progress in such respects as humanities, physics, physiological. On one hand, I am hard pressing to find a profession relevant to the courses with humanities. In fact, improving the quality of instruction in humanities requires the knowledge of history, culture, and society rather than experience of working in such profession. On other hand, it is of no avail, even waste of time, to working outside for the professor researching and teaching physics. Common sense tell us that if one make great progress in physics, he or she should must know the fundamental physical knowledge, theory and do more experiments, according to the physical facts, with guidance of the teacher. So, if the teacher works outside with guidance and address the questions of students, the quality of instruction will be undermined.

In the final analysis, when it comes to working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses, faculty should depend on which courses they teach. In some fields, such as, humanities, physiological, and so forth, faculty should try to focus on the student rather than working outside. As in other respects, faculty should exert to improve the instruction with appropriate experiences outside the academic world in balance.

开头和结尾不错
分析的角度我也很赞同
但b1感觉没有充分论证，有个更典型的例子就好了
继续努力吧