明天就考了，帮忙给个分数吧！！

waslinUID: 199403

Argument186  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：30分6秒     341 words
从2005年2月16日10时52分到2005年2月16日11时30分
------题目------
The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.
'In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors.'
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The director of personnel recommends the president of Professional Printing Company that they should hire mainly older employees according to the report of a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers so that they could increase the productivity and save money .I am afraid the advice may be serously underminded if the arguer fails to notice the following items:

First, the arguer makes a false analogy between an automobile factory and his Professional Printing Company. They are two totally different kinds of companies. One mainly deals with automobiles while the other focus on printing. What kind of workers they should employ depends on the characteristics of the job they take on. It is unreasonable for the director of printing company to make an important decision according to the results of a survey of automobile factory workers.

Next, the results of the survey are open to doubt. Because it is carried on by telephone. It is a common sense that people would not tell the true thinking of their heart when asked questions on telephone. The figures in the report, 27%,12%,8% may not be believable. No evidence shows that the workers are more productable with the absence of supervisors. So a further investigation of the performance of workers is needed, observation is best.

Last but not least, the hiring of older emplyees would not save money. Often the older employees are experienced and they may request a higher salary than those young workers. Although the company pays less because of the reduced need for superisors, they may lose more for the increase in employees' wage. However, if the older employees are not familiar with the job in a printing company and they just retired from a hospital. No doubt that the company should pay to train them which will also make their cost increase.

In sum, the director gives an impracticable advice which would not reach his goal to increase productivity and save money for his company. A deep thinking about how to improve the performerce of his company is waiting for him.

comingsoonUID: 175137

先占一个，不过自述感觉太少了。

看错了，原来是argument...

boancquUID: 165060

quite good. this paper is well organized and focused. also, the sentences are concise.
But I think the sentence-"However, if the older employees are not familiar with the job in a printing company and they just retired from a hospital."in the fourth paragragh is not so good. actually, there are many other weaknesses of hiring old workers.

bcomerUID: 182621

6

猫猫624UID: 171232

5,句式有点简单,论证似乎不够充分.加油!!!