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[i习作temp] issue93 同主题写作 有提纲 有改必回 先谢了 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-3-16 22:39:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue93  让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     
------题目------
The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
------正文------
提纲:support
1.In contrast with a society, a single person is week and powerless. Although, nobody can really control our mind, enviroments around us can have impacts on us to a large extent.
2.People, in most cases, are forced to do what they do not really want to. Even sometimes we have no choice but do the thing beyond out intention.
3.From all the results, our government should make it possible for us to live in a flexable condition.


Individual responsibility, as is recognized by our societies, might have been overemphasized by us. I fundamentally agree with the speaker in that although individuals should be responsible to what they have done nowadays, their behavior is more derermined by outer forces rather than their own.

To a society, a person is week. We cannot expect one to be wise, brave, and composed in a depressed society, which is rightly the fact to us. A South Korean actress who has a sweet and warm smile hanged herself at home recently. It is reported that it is depression that rendered her suicide. We might wonder how the mental condition could have led to the tragic result. Maybe something said by another actress in an interview could help us understand more:” We are called super stars, but we do not want to achieve an instant fame and then is quickly forgotten.” The example and the attress’s words do tell us that even stars who live with fames and honors and with considerable “power” are largely influenced by the environments, not to mention common people like you and me. An recent survey reveals that the number of people who have the disease of depression has largely increased, from which we could see what a depressed world we are living now.

In the case, we are usually forced to do what is beyond our intention. It is reported that an Italian 56-year-old reporter who has been held as held as a hostage for a month by Iraqi insurgents was badly injured in a deadly shooting incident on the road to Baghdad airport by US soldiers after being rescued. Her rescuer was shot dead at the a US checkpoint. It is claimed to be an accident because the soldiers mistook these Italians for terrorists. But what render the US soldiers make such a rediculous mistake. It is widely known that terroristic attack especially car bombing aiming at US soldiers frequently take place recently. Obviously it is somehow because they were so much impressed by the terroristic attacks that made the serious accident. Shall we blame these soldiers? I don’t think so. Suppose if it were an car bombing, the ones who are dead now would be these soldiers. Although it is an extreme example, it does illustrate that people sometimes should not be acountable too much for their acts as they are always exposed to dilemmas.

From the point of view, what we need is a more relaxed condition in which there is no depression, dilemma, and things the like. However, our world is full of such problems: the dreary commitment to mean ambition are around us; wars or regional conflicts have never ended; hostility and aversion between some nations are still going. How can we--the helpless individuals be expected to solve these problems. These problems however, in my view, require the involvements of both government and individuals. Our government should not only use our payment of tax to build constructions along streets but also built something beautiful in our mind.

  In short, as society is depressable in some way, we are incapable of controlling ourselves totally. In the case, our government should try their best to lessen all the drepressions in the world. If so, I believe our world will become full of brights.
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沙发
发表于 2005-3-17 00:02:05 |只看该作者
呵呵,我给你看看,我今晚刚看过这个题

4月25日上海财
天道酬勤
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板凳
发表于 2005-3-17 00:14:20 |只看该作者
提纲:support
1.In contrast with a society, a single person is week and powerless. Although, nobody can really control our mind, enviroments around us can have impacts on us to a large extent.
2.People, in most cases, are forced to do what they do not really want to. Even sometimes we have no choice but do the thing beyond out intention.
3.From all the results, our government should make it possible for us to live in a flexable condition.


Individual responsibility, as is recognized by our societies, might have been overemphasized by us. I fundamentally agree with the speaker in that although individuals should be responsible to for what they have done nowadays, their behavior is more derermined determined by outer forces rather than their own.

To Compared to a society, a person is week. We cannot expect one to be wise, brave, and composed in a depressed society, which is rightly the fact to us. A South Korean actress who has a sweet and warm smile hanged herself at home recently. It is reported that it is depression that rendered her suicide. We might wonder how the mental condition could have led to the tragic result. Maybe something said by another actress in an interview could help us understand more:” We are called super stars, but we do not want to achieve an instant fame and then is quickly forgotten.” The example and the attress’s words do tell us that even stars who live with fames and honors and with删掉 considerable “power” are largely influenced by the environments, not to mention common people like you and me感觉有点口语化. An recent survey reveals that the number of people who have develop the disease of depression has largely increased, from which we could see what a depressed world we are living now.感觉论证不是太充分.起码最后一句应该说个人的weak

In the case, we are usually forced to do what is beyond our intention. It is reported that an Italian 56-year-old reporter who has been held [as held as] a hostage for a month by Iraqi insurgents was badly injured in a deadly shooting incident on the road to Baghdad airport by US soldiers after being rescued. Her rescuer was shot dead at the a US checkpoint. It is claimed to be an accident because the soldiers mistook these Italians for terrorists. But what render the US soldiers make such a rediculous mistake. It is widely known that terroristic attack especially car bombing aiming at US soldiers frequently take place recently. Obviously it is somehow because they were so much impressed by the terroristic attacks that made the serious accident. Shall we blame these soldiers? I don’t think so. Suppose if it were an car bombing, the ones who are dead now would be these soldiers. Although it is an extreme example, it does illustrate that people sometimes should not be acountable too much for their acts as they are always exposed to dilemmas.

From the point of view, what we need is a more relaxed condition in which there is no depression, dilemma, and things the like. However, our world is full of such problems: the dreary commitment to mean ambition are around us; wars or regional conflicts have never ended; hostility and aversion between some nations are still going. How can we--the helpless individuals be expected to solve these problems. These problems however, in my view, require the involvements of both government and individuals. Our government should not only use our payment of tax to build constructions along streets but also built something beautiful in our mind.

In short, as society is depressable [pressable
能压的, 能熨平的] in some way, we are incapable of controlling ourselves totally. In the case, our government should try their best to lessen all the drepressions in the world. If so, I believe our world will become full of brights.

[建议:
 选择一些有特色的连接词,并形成自己的写作习惯!
不错,加油!]
[]
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地板
发表于 2005-3-17 01:27:17 |只看该作者
谢谢liver ,请留下链接, 以便我帮你回改

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RE: issue93 同主题写作 有提纲 有改必回 先谢了 [修改]

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issue93 同主题写作 有提纲 有改必回 先谢了
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-256117-1-1.html
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