issue51 诸位多多指导

punkerzmUID: 195528

题目

Issue 51
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student

正文
In the present day, there is much controversy among the method to improve the effect of education. Although it will certainly be welcomed by students if schools offer each of them specifically designed education, it would not be effective when the education is only set to cater to the students’ interests. At the same time, it can hardly be put into practice so that this method would be a fantasy.

To begin with, the efficiency of education lies in its generalization, not specialization. People may think that the more specifically designed education one can get according to his/her own needs and interests, the more effective it will turn out to be. And students may consider that they would be much more actively engaged in study without the necessity to learn what they do not feel interests in, or what seem to be of no help to their future careers. Reasonable as it may seem to be, however, such education pattern does not fully take the contemporary educational resource into account. Compared to enormous students, the number of teachers is obviously far from sufficient, and so do libraries, labs and other educational facilities. The mass education, generally standardized and systematically organized, manages to see to this dilemma by maximizing the efficiency of education an individual teacher can offer and hence the share one particular student can get. Specifically designed education for every individual, on the contrary, will take up a great amount of time of teachers who will be otherwise improving their educational levels or imparting knowledge to a wider range of students. Under such circumstances, one can hardly look forward to any improvement in the effectiveness of education, either in quantity or in quality.

Secondly, over-specified education will narrow down students’ ken and capability of acclimation to future career. Even if the educational resource is abundant somewhere, specifically designed education should not take the place of traditional general education. Admittedly students are likely to evolve themselves more energetically in study if they are offered unique education designed according to their interests and needs. Whether or not their chosen lessons will be well arranged and prepare them for future is quite questionable. Children and youngsters, who are immature and inexperienced, may choose lessons capriciously without deliberation or well-arrangement. Dropping lessons as easily as taking them, or even avoiding lessons which they do not feel interest yet in fact are crucial, they will find their careers checked because of lacking some knowledge. Someone may refute that this can be avoided if teachers give students enough guiding in their choosing lessons. Unfortunately this is almost impossible since it is hard for teachers to know every student so well as to give valuable and authorized advice before designing the individual education.

Although complete designed education is not available to individual students, schools can try their best to offer more choices and autonomy to students in some areas as long as the quality of compulsory education is guaranteed. For example, besides the general lessons of history, students may be permitted to choose art history or literature history according to their own tastes. The study of their preferred knowledge will in turn add to their understanding and interests of general knowledge. Without allocating too much educational resource to such branched lessons, schools will enjoy growths both in general education effect and the enthusiasm of students.

The purpose of education is not only to insist students to become what they want to be, but to produce qualified and enough individuals for the society. General education therefore can orient students to their future career well with the assistance of some specially designed education.

naiba369UID: 131655

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davidjackyUID: 135962

Issue 51
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student

正文
In the present daynowadays, there is much controversy among the method to improve the effect of education. Although it will certainly be welcomed by students if schools offer each of them specifically designed education, it would not be effective when the education is only set to cater to the students’ interests. At the same time, it can hardly be put into practice so that this method would be a fantasy.开头可以，提出因材施教本是好事，但是第一not effective；第二，hardly实施，那么下面应围绕这写来写，继续看

To begin with, the efficiency of education lies in its generalization, not specialization. 指出有效教育在于generalization来证明自己的观点，好People may think that the more specifically designed education one can get according to his/her own needs and interests, the more effective it will turn out to be. And students may consider that they would be much more actively engaged in study without the necessity to learn what they do not feel interests in, or what seem to be of no help to their future careers.树立一个反面观点 Reasonable as it may seem to be, however, such education pattern does not fully take the contemporary educational resource into account开始攻击. Compared to enormous students, the number of teachers is obviously far from sufficient, and so do libraries, labs and other educational facilities.设施分配问题 The mass education, generally standardized and systematically organized, manages to see to this dilemma by maximizing the efficiency of education an individual teacher can offer and hence the share one particular student can get. Specifically designed education for every individual, on the contrary, will take up a great amount of time of teachers who will be otherwise improving their educational levels or imparting knowledge to a wider range of students. 再从反面来说Under such circumstances, one can hardly look forward to any improvement in the effectiveness of education, either in quantity or in quality.
【教育的有效性归结于其generalization；quantity反应在设施上，quality反应在资源合理分配；结尾也有总结，我觉得可以】
Secondly, over-specified education will narrow down students’ ken and capability of acclimation to future careerover-specified education将会narrow down学生的ken. Even if the educational resource is abundant somewhere, specifically designed education should not take the place of traditional general education. Admittedly students are likely to evolve themselves more energetically in study if they are offered unique education designed according to their interests and needs. Whether or not their chosen lessons will be well arranged and prepare them for future is quite questionable. 个人感觉从下面才开始反应你的TS，前面的铺垫有些厚Children and youngsters, who are immature and inexperienced, may choose lessons capriciously without deliberation or well-arrangement. Dropping lessons as easily as taking them, or even avoiding lessons which they do not feel interest yet in fact are crucial, they will find their careers checked?checked不是很合适，不如直接说不能qualified their careers because of lacking some knowledge. Someone may refute that this can be avoided if teachers give students enough guiding in their choosing lessons. Unfortunately this is almost impossible since it is hard for teachers to know every student so well as to give valuable and authorizedauthoritative advice before designing the individual education. 两个方面进行论证，学生和老师的立场都写了，很好，唯一注意的是前面的铺垫过厚

Although complete designed education is not available to individual students, schools can try their best to offer more choices and autonomy to students in some areas as long as the quality of compulsory education is guaranteed. For example, besides the general lessons of history, students may be permitted to choose art history or literature history according to their own tastes. The study of their preferred knowledge will in turn add to their understanding and interests of general knowledge. Without allocating too much educational resource to such branched lessons, schools will enjoy growths both in general education effect and the enthusiasm of students. 这段让步可以too much是个倾向negative的词，不如用enough即可

The purpose of education is not only to insist students to become what they want to be, but to produce qualified and enough individuals for the society. General education therefore can orient students to their future career well with the assistance of some specially designed education.
结尾可以
看得比较仓促，有问题再和我联系一下，谢谢

naiba369UID: 131655

3x

鬼谷子UID: 159645

题目

Issue 51
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student

正文
In the present day, 【该用复数】 there is much controversy among the method to improve the effect of education. Although it【指代什么？不明确】 will certainly be welcomed by students if schools offer each of them specifically designed education, it would not be effective when the education is only set to cater to the 【这里应该强调一个individual】students’ interests. At the same time, it 【再明确一点】can hardly be put into practice so that this method would be a fantasy.

To begin with, the efficiency 【effective跟efficiency似乎不是一码事】of education lies in its generalization, not specialization. People may think that the more specifically designed education one can get according to his/her own needs and interests, the more effective it 【what?】will turn out to be. And students may consider that they would be much more actively engaged in study without the necessity to learn what they do not feel interests in, or what seem to be of no help to their future careers. 【 其实这些推测人们的想法的内容有些多余，可以直接提出你的想法，而不用以反驳的方式说出。因为实际上你对于人们想法就是猜测出来的，may，所以会影响到你后面内容的力度】Reasonable as it may seem to be, however, such education pattern does not fully take the contemporary educational resource into account. Compared to enormous students, the number of teachers is obviously far from sufficient, and so do libraries, labs and other educational facilities. The mass education, generally standardized and systematically organized, manages to see to this dilemma by maximizing the efficiency of education an individual teacher can offer and hence the share one particular student can get. Specifically designed education for every individual, on the contrary, will take up a great amount of time of teachers who will be otherwise improving their educational levels or imparting knowledge to a wider range of students. Under such circumstances, one can hardly look forward to any improvement in the effectiveness of education, either in quantity or in quality. 【可以多论述几个方面的，这里你提到的只是老师精力有限的问题，可能还有学校资金有限的问题，还有学生需求不合理的问题，还有统一课程保证基础知识的问题，都可以谈谈的，多角度会更全面一点】

Secondly, over-specified education will narrow down students’ ken and capability of acclimation to future career. Even if the educational resource is abundant somewhere, 【这个even if很像argu啊】 specifically designed education should not take the place of traditional general【两个形容词？】 education. Admittedly students are likely to evolve themselves more energetically in study if they are offered unique education designed according to their interests and needs. Whether or not their chosen lessons will be well arranged and prepare them for future is quite questionable. 【谈到了可行性问题，似乎你喜欢以反驳的方式提出观点，但是，把issue写成argu是大忌，是危险的】Children and youngsters, who are immature and inexperienced, may choose lessons capriciously without deliberation or well-arrangement. Dropping lessons as easily as taking them, or even avoiding lessons which they do not feel interest yet in fact are crucial, they will find their careers checked because of lacking some knowledge. Someone may refute that this can be avoided if teachers give students enough guiding in their choosing lessons. Unfortunately this is almost impossible since it is hard for teachers to know every student so well as to give valuable and authorized advice before designing the individual education. 【感觉与上段相似，自己的观点展开的不够了。应该尽量简练的提出观点，然后多把笔墨放在自己的观点上面】

Although complete designed education is not available to individual students, schools can try their best to offer more choices and autonomy to students in some areas as long as the quality of compulsory education is guaranteed. For example, besides the general lessons of history, students may be permitted to choose art history or literature history according to their own tastes. 【具体的例子，很好】The study of their preferred knowledge will in turn add to their understanding and interests of general knowledge. Without allocating too much educational resource to such branched lessons, schools will enjoy growths both in general education effect and the enthusiasm of students.

The purpose of education is not only to insist students to become what they want to be, but to produce qualified and enough individuals for the society. General education therefore can orient students to their future career well with the assistance of some specially designed education.
【总体上还可以，主要的问题我觉得是提出自己论点要简洁，以免考官找不到你真正的论点，以免把issue写成argu，以免自己观点的论述篇幅不够。加油！】

naiba369UID: 131655

替punkerzm家伙谢谢谷子了:D

唉。。。哥们我。。当年怎么就没这福气呢

punkerzmUID: 195528

多谢二位斑竹指点，受益非浅啊