issue83 来来 当反面教材~

so猫UID: 148633

Issue83
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：43分49秒 510 words
从2005年2月19日9时18分到2005年2月19日10时43分
------题目------
Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people.
------正文------
Wilderness areas, often extremely remote and inaccessible for most of people, the first glance seems to be of no use in modern society aiming at the production of profits to greatest extent at fastest speed. However, as far as I am concerned, the utilization of the wilderness areas is so important that government has to try best to preserve them in their natural state and far from the damage.

The wilderness areas, although far from the human habitat, actually contributes much to both natural environment and social society that deserves preservation and maintenance in their natural states. First of all, the areas in natural states help keep balance of the global ecology. As we know, these remote areas without disturbance and destruction are the only place left to many species-- since the thousands of years' manmade damage, hunting and pollution have broken the peace of many habitats that had been suitable for plants and animals to live in. Many species have forever disappeared in wild and can merely stand in the museum in permanent silence. The alternation of the environment is the killer. Moreover, the extinction of a certain species may generate a chain reaction in which many related livings may die out without trace, for the food chain has been cut off. Consider sharp decline of the number of the African Old Tree and the eventual extinction of Dudu. Without the manmade disforestation, Dudu may not be a statue in the museum yet a living flying up in the sky. From this point of view, government should manage to preserve the wilderness areas as they were to protect the rights of the livings and maintain the balance of the environment.

In addition, preservation of the wilderness areas offers people with abundant natural resources; accordingly, the financial profits could be pursued. How, some may wonder, do the areas inaccessible for most of people serve as a manufacture producing treasure? As we know, there are many cherishing species living in the areas that help people in many fields, such as the original material in industry, or the brute matter for medicine. It may seem irrelevant to the daily life of most people; however, their utilization of the species sounds familiar with all. If preserved properly, every year from the areas, people could gain much of the "gifts from God". For supporting example one needs to look no further than the effects of Brazil to protect the rainforest of Amazon and the maintenance of the ecological environment there. With the cherishing resources in Amazon, such as trees which could generate quina, thousands of lives are saved and the government and the people gain incomes to great extent. Thus the preservation is not only the demand of the environment, but also the desires of the people and government themselves.

To sum up, the wilderness areas are so important that requires the enough emphasis of the government to try their efforts to maintain them in natural states. With the protection and preservation of the wilderness areas, ecological balance and social benefits could be attained.

看啊 这就是so猫星期一要考之前写出来的东西
烂吧
大家都放心好了~

我写到一半就想delete了重写了
不过还是硬着头皮写完了~

相信我考场上不会比这写得更烂了

细心的人可以发现 这篇没写完
不过没办法 严格按照时间写的~~~~

圣光UID: 193720

看过了,觉得其实猫不用担心的,你的语言什么的比我的好千倍,而且说实话,这篇的逻辑似乎问题也没有很大的问题吧?不过就是比较片面了一点,后面没有了admittedly 这样的东西.不过谁也没有说这样不行啊!
呵呵,你肯定可以的,从你文章可以看到你很强!继续加油!!!

so猫UID: 148633

haha
你太了解我了
正是没写那个admittedly
主要是不知道怎么让了~
基本上没什么要让的

这篇提纲是现想的 现在看来觉得不对
我再想下怎么展开

圣光UID: 193720

就是,现在又不是考试,你应该想,考试时候的东西全都是你以前想过的,不会象这里这么紧的.你现在对自己的要求偏高了.今天我也这样写了一篇,失败至极,不过后来仔细想想,不是俺写不好,是破题不对,就释然了,考试的时候遇到的都是平时想过的,又不会找不到破题点,所以不用怕怕,嘿嘿.

我那时侯 写的提纲最后是在强调政府应该怎么去保护,不仅仅应该保护这些的原貌,使它们远离人们的接触,而应该发展生态旅游,让人们更加清楚那些地方所具有的美丽,从而激发人们保护其的动力.例子好象是那个Yellow Stone~~不知道恰当不呢.不知道对你有没有帮助~

ijwtbkUID: 172334

气死人不偿命的猫，写了一半delete了重写都写了500多。别让我看见你，否则非拔了你毛不可！！！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue83
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：43分49秒 510 words
从2005年2月19日9时18分到2005年2月19日10时43分
------题目------
Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people.
------正文------
Wilderness areas, often extremely remote and inaccessible for【to】 most of people, 【at】the first glance seems to be of no use in modern society aiming at the production of profits to greatest extent at fastest speed. However, as far as I am concerned, the utilization of the wilderness areas is so important that government has to try best to preserve them in their natural state and far from the damage. 【稍嫌简略了一点，important在什么地方应该大概说一下的】

The wilderness areas, although far from the human habitat, actually contributes much to both natural environment and social society 【social society？】that deserves preservation and maintenance in their natural states. 【环境保护可以理解， social society that deserves preservation and maintenance in their natural states这个就不太明白了，社会也需要保护在其自然形态吗？】 First of all, the areas in natural states help keep balance of the global ecology. As we know, these remote areas without disturbance and destruction are the only place left to many species-- since the thousands of years' manmade damage, hunting and pollution have broken the peace of many habitats that had been 【once were】suitable for plants and animals to live in. Many species have forever disappeared in wild 【？】and can merely stand in the museum in permanent silence. The alternation of the environment is the killer. 【这个原因感觉跟论点的关系不是很直接，还是应该说是对于这些areas的破坏是killer比较好】 Moreover, the extinction of a certain species may generate a chain reaction in which many related livings may die out without trace, for the food chain has been cut off. Consider sharp decline of the number of the African Old Tree and the eventual extinction of Dudu. Without the manmade disforestation, Dudu may not be a statue in the museum yet a living flying up in the sky. From this point of view, government should manage to preserve the wilderness areas as they were to protect the rights of the livings and maintain the balance of the environment. 【显然，你说的society的问题没有交代，论点修改一下比较好】

In addition, preservation of the wilderness areas offers people with abundant natural resources; 【是areas offer的不是preservation offer的】 accordingly, the financial profits could be pursued. 【guaranteed】 How, some may wonder, do the areas inaccessible for 【to】most of people serve as a 【单复数一致】manufacture producing treasure? As we know, there are many cherishing species living in the areas that help people in many fields, such as the original material in industry, or the brute【残忍的？？】 matter【raw materials】for medicine. It may seem irrelevant to the daily life of most people; however, their utilization of the species sounds familiar with all. If preserved properly, every year from the areas, people could gain much of the "gifts from God". For supporting example one needs to look no further than the effects of Brazil to protect the rainforest of Amazon and the maintenance of the ecological environment there. With the cherishing resources in Amazon, such as trees which could generate quina, thousands of lives are saved and the government and the people gain incomes to great extent. Thus the preservation is not only the demand of the environment, but also the desires of the people and government themselves. 【可以带来经济效益，其实你可以提到适当的开发带动旅游，也可以带来经济效益的】

To sum up, the wilderness areas are so important that requires the enough emphasis of the government to try their efforts to maintain them in natural states. With the protection and preservation of the wilderness areas, ecological balance and social benefits could be attained.
【确实，如果让步一下，说明某些荒地不需要保护，保护了反而浪费资源的情况，就更完整了。加油！】