argument232 模考 封笔之作 谢谢所有的人

so猫UID: 148633

Argument232
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：29分20秒     522 words
从2005年2月20日11时1分到2005年2月20日11时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances.
'Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song.'
------正文------
The argument is well-organized, yet poor-reasoned. Several facets above are problematic. First the survey referred in the argument is open to doubt. In addition, the argument arbitrarily assumed the correlation of the tunes and lyrics with commercial profits is a causal relationship. Eventually no more evidence is given to prove that the alternation in advertisements is the best choice. Later I would discuss them one by one.

First of all, in evaluating the argument, the survey in highschool is referred which seems at the first glance to be sound. However, the speaker offers no evidence concerning the generalizablity and authenticity of the survey. Are the students involved in the study randomly chosen? And how many do they participate in the study? Or do they actually remember the tunes and lyrics as they acclaimed? Without the answer to the question above, it may be true that the survey paper itself has fallacies that mislead the students to the expecting answer. Also it might be the case that the students lie that they know to show their pride of following the trends and popularities. Thus the survey is open to doubt that cannot be the foundation to support the conclusion of the argument.

Even if the authenticity and generalizability of the survey could be promised, no evidence can show that the causal relationship between tunes and profits really exists. The students may remember the tunes and lyrics since they are great to sing and easy to memorize. It isn't equal that they would like to purchase the things advertised. Students, as we know, are the group with no income; thus their capability of purchasing is limited. It is hard for them to raise the profits effectively, although they take a large sharing in commercial market. The speaker presumptuously drew a causal relationship between these two, which is unwarranted.

Last but not least important, the speaker overlooks other options and factors influencing on the profits of the things. Granted that the survey and assumption above are reliable and convincing, the argument still cannot persuade people that the same measurement taken in Eco-Power company should boom the profits. The difference between fast-food and homely-used tools is obvious. The consumer groups vary as well. Moreover, the argument do not take cost in material and on advertisement into consideration. It may cost too much on shift upon advertisement thus the profits earned may be not enough to counteract the cost and loss. Also the speaker unfairly assumed the little effectiveness on advertisement upon magazines without self-inspectation whether it's because the wrong marketing location and methods to advertise. From this point of view, no profound evidence shows that the choosing the popular tunes and lyrics is the best way instead of traditionally in magazines.

To sum up, the argument commits several serious logical fallacies. And it is hard to persuade people from the information given above. Thus details should be offered to prove the authenticity and generalizatbiliy of the survey. Also sufficient evidence should be listed to prove the causal relationship of the application of tune and lyrics and the increase in profits.

如题 谢谢所有的人
最后拍拍
然后都来hug~~~

boyjimUID: 125249

啊狗找到错误就好了~
:)

鬼谷子UID: 159645

我来了，猫猫

xin320UID: 165608

The argument is well-organized, yet poor-reasoned.呵呵，见到你上篇argu也是如此开头的 Several facets above are problematic. First the survey referred in the argument is open to doubt. In addition, the argument arbitrarily assumed the correlation of the tunes and lyrics with commercial profits is a causal relationship. 驳斥的好Eventually no more evidence is given to prove that the alternation in advertisements is the best choice. Later I would discuss them one by one.

First of all, in evaluating the argument, the survey in highschool is referred which seems at the first glance to be sound. However, the speaker offers no evidence concerning the generalizablity？ and authenticity of the survey. Are the students involved in the study randomly chosen?好句子 And how many do they participate in the study? Or do they actually remember the tunes and lyrics as they acclaimed?这个点有些薄弱吧？ Without the answer to the question those questionsabove, it may be true that the survey paper itself has fallacies that mislead the students to the expecting answer. 句子好，但是和上边的关系？Also it might be the case that the students lie that they know to show their pride of following the trends and popularities.引申太远了 Thus the survey is open to doubt that cannot be the foundation to support the conclusion of the argument.

Even if the authenticity and generalizability of the survey could be promised, no evidence can show that the causal relationship between tunes and profits really exists. The students may remember the tunes and lyrics since they are great to sing and easy to memorize. 好的反驳It isn't equal that they would like to purchase the things advertised. Students, as we know, are the group with no income; thus their capability of purchasing is limited. It is hard for them to raise the profitssale 是不是更好，因为sale 不等于profits effectively, although they take a large sharing in commercial market. The speaker presumptuously drew a causal relationship between these two, which is unwarranted.我觉得此处反驳此种广告的效果更好些，按照你的反驳，这个广告的确起到了cath more attention 的作用，不能profit的原因是学生没钱。这就不太好了，应该对广告效果进行驳斥

Last but not least important, the speaker overlooks other options and factors influencing on the profits of the things.很好，学习ing Granted that the survey and assumption above are reliable and convincing, the argument still cannot persuade people that the same measurement taken in Eco-Power company should boom the profits. The difference between fast-food and homely-used tools is obvious.其实我的想法是驳斥，样本的比较差异，对快餐有效，对制造业不一定有效，可能有更好的方式，这一点看来是殊途同归的 The consumer groups vary as well. Moreover, the argument do not take cost in material and on advertisement into consideration.考虑到cost,驳斥全面 It may cost too much on shift upon advertisement thus the profits earned may be not enough to counteract the cost and loss. Also the speaker unfairly assumed the little effectiveness on advertisement upon magazines without self-inspectation whether it's because the wrong marketing location and methods to advertise. 驳斥全面From this point of view, no profound evidence shows that the choosing the popular tunes and lyrics is the best way instead of traditionally in magazines.

To sum up, the argument commits several serious logical fallacies. And it is hard to persuade people from the information given above. Thus details should be offered to prove the authenticity and generalizatbiliy of the survey. Also sufficient evidence should be listed to prove the causal relationship of the application of tune and lyrics and the increase in profits.全文分析的非常透彻，而且好的句型很多——我收获很大，我拿去改写了：），只是可能由于能驳斥的地方太多，全文简单的连接了起来，缺乏整体连贯的感觉——使用一些让步从句，使反驳层层深入是最好的效果，只是简单的罗列flaw，给人一种混乱的感觉。鉴于我个人能力，不妥之处多多包涵

so猫UID: 148633

楼上的 谢谢你了
的确我写到最后发现着篇文章最大的问题就是散~~~
我再想想看怎么弄~~~

再谢谢 一次

flyingwindUID: 189320

楼上说“不能profit的原因是学生没钱。这就不太好了，应该对广告效果进行驳斥”
我觉得可以驳斥，毕竟你的survy就是有道理说得是对于学生。。的事情。他们没有设么钱啥的莱买这里的产品

鬼谷子UID: 159645

xin320分析的很好，我就不多说了。我觉得还有一个问题就是B1反驳的survey问题，几个问句倒是把问题提出来了，可是后面接着的论述就没有跟前面对应上了，你可以每个问题各来一个反例的。

总体上还是不错的，猫猫明天一定能成功的。hug～～～