Issue 7 高频 拍砖必回！！

mariaUID: 197971

Issue 7
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
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For a long time, written records have been the traditional means to document events. Due to the development of modern technology, video camera gradually shows its special merits in recording events. However, video camera nowadays still cannot be more important form of documentation than written records. And both of them play an important role in recording.

To begin with, written records have existed since the first paper was invented. As we know, anything that can remain so long time must have its own apparent merits. As far as written records is concerned, in the following we will see its several such features. First of all, there are many kinds of materials of written records, such as paper, silk, bamboo and so on, among which paper is the most frequently used. In this sense, its materials are easily accessible, which convenient recorders to document things. What is more, this characteristic of material of written records makes recording not limited by quantity. In other words, you can record information needed as munch as you can without worry there are no space to record.  In addition, written records can keep a very long time. A good case in point is the records of ancient people who documented ceremonies on copper tools handed down to us. Considering so many benefits of written records, it is not strange that written records are still regarded as an important means of documenting.

Secondly, undoubtedly, compared with written records, video camera has many sides that is superior to those of the former. On the one hand, documentation recorded by video camera is more objective than that did by written records. Since written records are documented by people after relevant things happened, more or less personal emotion will be added into their recording. On the contrary, video camera just documents what is happening at some time. Maybe some people may debate that while recording by virtue of video camera, people tend to record more what they concern or like. But what such people presented for us is the process of one thing, the right of evaluation is handed to the viewers, while authors of written records more often than not comment things they recorded and give their apparent attitude to people involved. Furthermore, documentation of video camera is more vivid than written records, which can be given by a video record of one birthday party as well as written records. After several decades passed, the person who had party ever was old. When he or she watch the very video camera documentation at that time, this person can see how young he or she is and can think about many things what had happen more easily than just see written records.

However, both of them have drawbacks in recording. Video camera does not exceed written records in every side. For example, the space of video camera is limited. Therefore, what will be documented should be decided at first. And only those that are most significant can be documented by camera. In addition, compared with written documentation, recording using video camera is more expensive which not everyone can afford. Likewise, written records have several disadvantages. Just as mentioned above, written documentation often adulterates personal feelings of authors, which impact others objectively to judge. For another, written records cannot make readers be personally on the scene effectively, the goal which can be attained by video camera recording.  

On balance, both video camera and written records should be used in documentation; we cannot tell nowadays which one is more important.

xiaoxiao0524UID: 172512

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
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For a long time, written records have been the traditional means to document events. Due to the development of modern technology, video camera gradually shows its special merits[可以具体说明一下那些优点。] in recording events. However, video camera nowadays still cannot be [a]more important form of documentation than written records. And[这个关联词有的不好，这两句话好像没有并列的关系吧？如果你想证明两个观点的话，可以用in fact.或者两局合一句，说成：as a form of recording events, video camera nowadays is as important as, but never more significant than, written records.你觉得这样如何？] both of them play an important role in recording.

To begin with, written records have existed since the first paper was invented.[你的观点是存在的早就必然更重要。这好像只是你推论的一个前提，而不能作为一个ts吧？其实，安妮的文章套路，这个ts应该是written records的优点。] As we know, anything that can remain so long time must have its own apparent merits.[As far as written records is concerned, in the following we will see its several such features.和上一句有点重复。] First of all, there are many kinds of materials of written records, such as paper, silk, bamboo and so on, among which paper is the most frequently used. In this sense, its materials are easily accessible, which convenient recorders to document things. What is more, this characteristic of material of written records makes recording not limited by quantity. In other words, you can record information needed as munch as you can without worry there are no space to record. In addition, written records can keep a very long time. A good case in point is the records of ancient people who documented ceremonies on copper tools handed down to us. Considering so many benefits of written records, it is not strange that written records are still regarded as an important means of documenting.

Secondly, undoubtedly, compared with written records, video camera has many sides that is [are]superior to those of the former. On the one hand, documentation recorded by video camera is more objective than that did by written records. Since written records are documented by people after relevant things happened, more or less personal emotion will be added into their recording. On the contrary, video camera just documents what is happening at some time.[这是缺点吧？不要在一段即说有点又说缺点。] Maybe some people may debate that while recording by virtue of video camera, people tend to record more what they concern or like. But what such people presented for us is the process of one thing, the right of evaluation is handed to the viewers, while authors of written records more often than not comment things they recorded and give their apparent attitude to people involved. Furthermore, documentation of video camera is more vivid than written records, which can be given by a video record of one birthday party as well as written records. After several decades passed, the person who had party ever was old. When he or she watch the very video camera documentation at that time, this person can see how young he or she is and can think about many things what had happen more easily than just see written records.

However, both of them have drawbacks in recording. Video camera does not exceed written records in every side.[这里再说两者的缺点，然后提出合并可以互补。就很好了。这是个大方向问题，其他的细节你自己在注意。另外，准备几个可以出彩的词汇。相信会对你的分数有很大裨益的。Bless~~~~~~~~] For example, the space of video camera is limited. Therefore, what will be documented should be decided at first. And only those that are most significant can be documented by camera. In addition, compared with written documentation, recording using video camera is more expensive which not everyone can afford. Likewise, written records have several disadvantages. Just as mentioned above, written documentation often adulterates personal feelings of authors, which impact others objectively to judge. For another, written records cannot make readers be personally on the scene effectively, the goal which can be attained by video camera recording.

On balance, both video camera and written records should be used in documentation; we cannot tell nowadays which one is more important.

mariaUID: 197971

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
For a long time, written records have been the traditional means to document events. Due to the development of modern technology, as far as accuracy and objectivity are concerned,video camera gradually shows its special merits[可以具体说明一下那些优点。] in recording events. However, video camera nowadays still cannot be [a]more important form of documentation than written records. And[这个关联词有的不好，这两句话好像没有并列的关系吧？其实and 还是有转折关系的意思的，不过转折现在看来也说不通如果你想证明两个观点的话，可以用in fact.或者两局合一句，说成：as a form of recording events, video camera nowadays is as important as, but never more significant than, written records.你觉得这样如何？（这样写确实挺好的，写出了我要表达的意思thank you!）] both of them play an important role in recording.

To begin with, written records have existed since the first paper was invented.[你的观点是存在的早就必然更重要。这好像只是你推论的一个前提，而不能作为一个ts吧？其实，安妮的文章套路，这个ts应该是written records的优点。改为written records have several merits which exceed video camera.] As we know, anything that can remain so long time must have its own apparent merits.[As far as written records is concerned, in the following we will see its several such features.和上一句有点重复。] First of all, there are many kinds of materials of written records, such as paper, silk, bamboo and so on, among which paper is the most frequently used. In this sense, its materials are easily accessible, which convenient recorders to document things. What is more, this characteristic of material of written records makes recording not limited by quantity. In other words, you can record information needed as munch as you can without worry there are no space to record. In addition, written records can keep a very long time. A good case in point is the records of ancient people who documented ceremonies on copper tools handed down to us. Considering so many benefits of written records, it is not strange that written records are still regarded as an important means of documenting.

Secondly, undoubtedly, compared with written records, video camera has many sides that is [are]superior to those of the former. On the one hand, documentation recorded by video camera is more objective than that did by written records. Since written records are documented by people after relevant things happened, more or less personal emotion will be added into their recording. On the contrary, video camera just documents what is happening at some time.[这是缺点吧？（不是缺点吧，我这儿适当优点写的阿，直接纪录不掺个人感情）不要在一段即说有点又说缺点。] Maybe some people may debate that while recording by virtue of video camera, people tend to record more what they concern or like. But what such people presented for us is the process of one thing, the right of evaluation is handed to the viewers, while authors of written records more often than not comment things they recorded and give their apparent attitude to people involved. Furthermore, documentation of video camera is more vivid than written records, which can be given by a video record of one birthday party as well as written records. After several decades passed, the person who had party ever was old. When he or she watch the very video camera documentation at that time, this person can see how young he or she is and can think about many things what had happen more easily than just see written records.

However, both of them have drawbacks in recording and what we should do is to make best of merits of either one. on the one handVideo camera does not exceed written records in every side.[这里再说两者的缺点，然后提出合并可以互补。就很好了。这是个大方向问题，其他的细节你自己在注意。另外，准备几个可以出彩的词汇。其实我也觉得自己的词汇用得太幼稚，不过好多词汇在写作中就想不起来了，而且马上就要考了，好难哪相信会对你的分数有很大裨益的。Bless~~~~~~~~] For example, the space of video camera is limited. Therefore, what will be documented should be decided at first. And only those that are most significant can be documented by camera. In addition, compared with written documentation, recording using video camera is more expensive which not everyone can afford. Likewise, written records have several disadvantages. Just as mentioned above, written documentation often adulterates personal feelings of authors, which impact others objectively to judge. For another, written records cannot make readers be personally on the scene effectively, the goal which can be attained by video camera recording.

On balance, both video camera and written records should be used in documentation; we cannot tell nowadays which one is more important

mariaUID: 197971

Anyway, thank you!

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

ssue 7
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
For a long time, written records have been the traditional means to document events. Due to the development of modern technology, video camera gradually shows its special merits in recording events. However, video camera nowadays still cannot be more important form of documentation than written records.And both of them play an important role in recording.
But video camera nowadays still cannot replace written records as a more important form of documentation. Admittedly, however, they both play an important role in recording.

You are talking about the importance of traditional written records.What about being more concise in the beginning?
To begin with, written records have existed since the first paper was invented. As we know, anything that can remain so long time must have its own apparent merits. As far as written records is concerned, in the following we will see its several such features. First of all, there are many kinds of materials of written records, such as paper, silk, bamboo and so on, among which paper is the most frequently used. In this sense, its materials are easily accessible, which convenient recorders to document things. What is more, this characteristic of material of written records makes recording not limited by quantity. In other words, you can record information needed as munch as you can without worry there are no space to record. In addition, written records can keep a very long time. A good case in point is the records of ancient people who documented ceremonies on copper tools handed down to us. Considering so many benefits of written records, it is not strange that written records are still regarded as an important means of documenting.

Secondly, undoubtedly, compared with written records, video camera has many sides that is superior to those of the former. On the one hand, documentation recorded by video camera is more objective than that did by written records. Since written records are documented by people after relevant things happened, more or less personal emotion will be added into their recording. On the contrary, video camera just documents what is happening at some time. Maybe some people may debate that while recording by virtue of video camera, people tend to record more what they concern or like. But what such people presented for us is the process of one thing, the right of evaluation is handed to the viewers, while authors of written records more often than not comment things they recorded and give their apparent attitude to people involved. Furthermore, documentation of video camera is more vivid than written records, which can be given by a video record of one birthday party as well as written records. After several decades passed, the person who had party ever was old. When he or she watch the very video camera documentation at that time, this person can see how young he or she is and can think about many things what had happen more easily than just see written records.

However, both of them have drawbacks in recordinga bit too concise. Video camera does not exceed written records in every side. For example, the space of video camera is limited. Therefore, what will be documented should be decided at first. And only those that are most significant can be documented by camera. In addition, compared with written documentation, recording using video camera is more expensive which not everyone can afford. Likewise, written records have several disadvantages. Just as mentioned above, written documentation often adulterates personal feelings of authors, which impact others objectively to judge. For another, written records cannot make readers be personally on the scene effectively, the goal which can be attained by video camera recording.
How about pointing out that one may learn from the other and be the supplementary of the other instead for just talking about their drawbacks respectively

I think we could point out merits of both and correlations between them.Is this a bit better.

On balance, both video camera and written records should be used in documentation; we cannot tell nowadays which one is more important.

mariaUID: 197971

谢谢楼上的建议，按你的说法文章可以写得更有深度，我当时也想到了，只是碍于时间只好匆匆结束了。不过不太明白你这一句的意思 你是指我的开头段还是b1?请指点
You are talking about the importance of traditional written records.What about being more concise in the beginning?

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

I mean the B1,for example, I do not think it is
necessary
As we know, anything that can remain so long time must have its own apparent merits.