Issue67 高频 我会不会写偏题了?? 55 （考前4天）

weinUID: 190374

附注：我很菜，在这里潜水很久了，只敢仰慕牛牛们的牛贴，没敢动手拍砖——力有足心无余啊！

大家狠拍吧。粗略看看，给点意见。
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Issue67  第12篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分54秒     553 words
从2005年2月24日7时53分到2005年2月24日8时44分
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Colleges should require students to engage in public-service activities in order to assure that each student receives a balanced, well-rounded education.
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Should students engage in public-service activities or just stay at school, handing books, listening to teacher? Obviously, to go out of school and take part in some of the public-service activities can assure that each student receives a balanced, well-rounded education.

As we all know, it is a common sense that the education is learning to know, learning to do, learning to get together and learning to be. While we, the educators, the society, the parents, put most of emphasis to the students on knowledge and intellection, we must also bring up their moral and social responsibility. To engage in public-service activities is undoubtedly a good way to realize this.

First or all, as to "learning to know", as my point of view, it includes not only to know the knowledge, theories or technologies on the books, but also, even more important, to know how to use them. The student is the future. The country, the society and the people call for a well-rounded, valuable adult but not just a human that can do well in each exam or talk about wooden knowledge all day long. Therefore, when school learns students knowledge, the public-service activities would learn them how to use the knowledge. Also, when school learns students theories, the public-service activities would learn them what they are and how they work in reality. Through the activities, the students can know far more things than there are in books.

Secondly, as to "learning to do", nowadays, most of the education just tell the students it might right to do as this or that, but only when them take the knowledge into practice can they know more exactly it is right or wrong, and how to make the most of what they learned. In the same way, the public-service activities will help the students know how to avoid harm the others no matter what they do.

Thirdly, as to "learning to get together", for the future, the students need not only go well together with his classmates, teachers and friends in school, but also learn to take together with all the people in the society, including children, men, women and elder-peoples. When they show their heart to the people, they can feel worm in return. Also, here, the students know about what the other needs and how to help the others. In these activities, they can take the hand with all the people to take a task, and then share the happiness together.

Last but not the least, as to "learning to be", which is the most important facet would be stressed on this article, who am I? what will I be? what do I want to be? a good man or an evil? a kind- heart or a cool? ... To answer all these questions are the first step for the students before going into society. Otherwise, they would lose themselves among the people. But, taking some public-service activities may improve their social responsibilities, and even awake them how they can get the most happiness, that is who he / she will be.

In conclusion, the education not only need learn the students knowledge, but also need learn them how to use the knowledge and who they will be. Requiring the students to participate in public-service activities may play an important role in this way.

clairvoyantUID: 15856

其实你这样写是欲取巧而不能。因为第一：你把简单的东西搞复杂了。第二：以你英语表达的能力，并不能将你所提出的四个概念learning to know, learning to do, learning to get together, learning to be 的深层涵义解释清楚，所以对他们的论证肯定也很无力，所以可以说你又把复杂的东西搞简单了。第三，你写的文章其实可属于英文议论文中的catergorization, 也就是分类。分类作文有两个principles: 1.要有分类的标准 2 分类不能有overlapping， 你看你自己的第一点和第二点其实都讲的是一个东西，都是put what they learn into practice, 不是吗？所以你的分类还是无效的。问题很多，不能一一陈述，希望你能牢记三点，希望对你短时间提高有用：
第一：issue 作文的题目其实很大，所以你能写的就是以一个很小的点切入 。比如你自己提出的 While we, the educators, the society, the parents, put most of emphasis to the students on knowledge and intellection, we must also bring up their moral and social responsibility. To engage in public-service activities is undoubtedly a good way to realize this. 你干脆就简简单单的从intellect 和moral , social responsiblity 二者的对立入手好了。这样下来你的思路就会很清楚。记住，你要写的只是一篇小文章，一定要简单入手！不要弄巧成拙
第二，你的英语表达有限，千万不要讲你讲不清楚的东西。
第三，西方人重视的逻辑推理，一个很简单的道理就是二元对立。比如说我刚才建议你的简简单单的从intellect 和moral , social responsiblity 二者的对立入手就是一个最简单最有效也最好掌握的方法。建议英文表达不太好的写作者都能适当考虑这个方法。因为无论你有多高深的思想，你是用英语讲不清楚的，所以就从最简单的入手。

weinUID: 190374

最初由 clairvoyant 发布
[B]其实你这样写是欲取巧而不能。因为第一：你把简单的东西搞复杂了。第二：以你英语表达的能力，并不能将你所提出的四个概念learning to know, learning to do, learning to ..

以下省略...... [/B]

感谢得一踏糊涂.第一次尝试采用新的表达方式,看来很失败.
55

再次感谢.