Issue13 修改润色了的。一限时就没话说，怎么办啊？

imjasonUID: 176604

怎么办啊？一限时就写不出来，时间一到“文思泉涌”哈，大家是怎么限时的啊？有谁能透漏点啊？ :(  :confused:
------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
In this era of rapid globalization, the international communication calls for the generally used languages so that some lesser-known languages, as fewer and fewer people speak them, are becoming extinct. When some people claim that we protect them, instead at the same time, we should also accept the reality of the disappearances.

Admittedly, those lesser-known languages need attention and protection. After all, a language inherits from the past, standing as a treasure and a history of our ancestors. It also tells us the procedure of the language, or even the culture, development. Additionally, not only a culture, a language but also represents a dignity of the people who speak it. That is why, when a culture is to conquer another, the most destructive weapon is not the guns or the bombs but the language. Thus, the governments should take the responsibility to protect those 'endangered' languages, like we protect those endangered animals and history buildings. At the same time, this responsibility rests on not merely the countries in which these extinctive languages are spoken but also the whole world in that a language is a global cultural relic and treasure, just like one of the UNESCO's functions.

However, to overtake the barricades of the different languages in international communication, it is undeniable that only several languages can be used world widely. After all, there are about 200 countries in the world that nearly every country has its own generally used national language. What's more, even in the same country, it might have several languages as the different races exist, needless to say those dialects. Thus, nowadays, it is impossible to call for any person to master all of these languages to communicate as well as all the languages to be popularized in the world. Even though all the languages are allowed to be spoken in a cultural communication, which language of the two sides should be used? In this case, we cannot deny the possibility that none would like to speak the language of the other rather than their own. So the United Nations have authorized that five languages be generally spoken in international communications. Basing on these facts, it is inevitable that some lesser-known languages are in danger.

At the same time, we should also realize that, in some cases, the disappearances of the lesser-known languages are the process of the 'natural selection'. The globalization involves the cultural communication as well as the businesses. If a language cannot absorb in the modern elements to suffice itself to adapt the rapid changes of the society, it is reasonable to extinguish as the same as the extinguished animals. A language also needs a broad mind. Maybe that is why English is so popular in the world, though some people would argue that it depends on the colonization over the world of the UK and the prosperity of the U.S.A. English is capable to absorb in better essences of different cultures to improve it and bear the various accents from the whole world. Meanwhile, protecting the lesser-known languages holds a variety of methods under the condition of the technology nowadays, such as video tapes, CDs, which do not need the countries alone to take the activity, since these languages may hamper the communication to the outside. And many cases have showed us that those areas where the
lesser-known languages are spoken are underdeveloped. To ask them to stick to their own language completely, in my opinion, is inhumane and inconsiderate.

In sum, the protection of the lesser-known languages is necessary and also optional, just like we cannot protect all the endangered animals. The governments, on the one hand, should act to prevent them from extinction; on the other hand, to broaden the capacity of these languages to absorb in the essence of other cultures. Moreover, we should also hold the belief that there are always existents that are unable to follow the pace of the history alternations.

imjasonUID: 176604

UP以下

imjasonUID: 176604

还是没人帮忙看下，看来太差了，
就是帮忙回答下那个限时的问题也行啊

coweiliangUID: 195905

桶哥哥不要这难过啦，待会回头给你看看

枫丹UID: 166492

先给你顶一下,晚上交上啊!!

thminUID: 192642

In this era of rapid globalization, the international communication calls for the generally used languages so that some lesser-known languages, as fewer and fewer people speak them, are becoming extinct. When some people claim that we protect them, instead at the same time, we should also accept the reality of the disappearances.第一段你提出来你的观点了吗?我怎么看不出来啊,你说的最后这句话到底是some people的观点,还是你自己的?如果后一句是你的观点的话,不妨有比较明确的指示词,比如说: in my opinion; as far as I’m concerned; I tend to agree with the point of view that之类的.

Admittedly, those lesser-known languages need attention and protection. After all, a language inherits from the past不太明白你的意思, standing as a treasure and a history of our ancestors这句的表达也很模糊. It also tells us the procedure of the language,the procedure of language是什么意思呢?语言的进化吗?不妨用evolution这个词 or even the culture, development我个人认为language, culture, development不太适合并列,因为它们之间不是并列的关系. Additionally, not only a culture, a language but also represents a dignity of the people who speak it. 这是个病句吧!That is why, when a culture is to conquer another, the most destructive weapon is not the guns or the bombs but the language.为什么?至少应该有个例子来说明啊,否则没有说服力啊. Thus, the governments should take the responsibility to protect those 'endangered' languages, like we protect those endangered animals and history buildings. At the same time, this responsibility rests on not merely the countries in which these extinctive languages are spoken but also the whole world in that a language is a global cultural relic and treasure, just like one of the UNESCO's functions.后边这一句是什么意思?
我感觉你这一段论证的不是很好,前面几个句子提出的观点很模糊,后面又有一些未经证实的观点,而且缺乏相应的例子来说明.

However, to overtakeovercome the barricades of the different languages in international communication, it is undeniable that only several languages can be used world widelyworldwide可以作副词用. After all, there are about 200 countries in the world that nearly every country has its own generally used national language. What's more, even in the same country, it might have several languages as the different races exist, needless to say those dialects. Thus, nowadays, it is impossible to call for any person to master all of these languages to communicate as well as all the languages to be popularized in the world. Even though all the languages are allowed to be spoken in a cultural communication, which language of the two sides should be used? In this case, we cannot deny the possibility that none would like to speak the language of the other rather than their own. So the United Nations have authorized that five languages be generally spoken in international communications. Basing on these facts, it is inevitable that some lesser-known languages are in danger.这一段单独看的话,论证得比上一段要好,说理也比较充分;但是你一直说的问题是”国际交流促进了少数语言成为通用语言”,没有对题目作出正面回应,即使最后一句涉及到了,也觉得象强加上去的,所以我个人感觉有点跑题.

At the same time, we should also realize that, in some cases, the disappearances of the lesser-known languages are the process of the 'natural selection'. The globalization involves the cultural communication as well as the businesses. If a language cannot absorb in the modern elements to suffice itself to adapt to the rapid changes of the society, it is reasonable to extinguish as the same as the extinguished animals. A language also needs a broad mindopen mind. Maybe that is why English is so popular in the world, though some people would argue that it depends on the colonization over the world of the UK and the prosperity of the U.S.A. English is capable to absorb in better essences of different cultures to improve it and bear the various accents from the whole world. Meanwhile, protecting the lesser-known languages holds a variety of methods under the condition of the technology nowadays, such as video tapes, CDs, which do not need the countries alone to take the activity, since these languages may hamper the communication to the outside. And many cases have showedshown us that those areas where the lesser-known languages are spoken are underdeveloped. To ask them to stick to their own language completely, in my opinion, is inhumane and inconsiderate.这段有和上段同样的问题

In sum, the protection of the lesser-known languages is necessary and also optional, just like we cannot protect all the endangered animals. 貌似又提出了了一个新论点The governments, on the one hand, should act to prevent them from extinction; on the other hand, to broaden the capacity of these languages to absorb in the essence of other cultures. Moreover, we should also hold the belief that there are always existents that are unable to follow the pace of the history alternations什么是history alternation?.

我感觉你这篇文章从反面说得太多,对题目的正面回应太少. 论点中后两个都是在说与之相反的主流语言是如何如何,我猜你这样做可能是想回避正面论述的困难,但却造成了对小语种论述的不充分;如果你想说明小语种在这些方面做得不如主流语言,就最好能从正面也说明一下,举几个例子说明它们没有做好,在这些方面劣于主流语言,以致于没有办法象主流语言那样存活.

我感觉你的语言和词汇比过去有所进步,但是AW更重要的是思路和逻辑,所以也不应该忽视啊!加油了,我们都需要努力!

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

In this era of rapid globalization, the international communication calls for the generally used languages so that some lesser-known languages, as fewer and fewer people speak them, are becoming extinct. When some people claim that we protect them, instead at the same time, we should also accept the reality of the disappearances.第一段你提出来你的观点了吗?我怎么看不出来啊,你说的最后这句话到底是some people的观点,还是你自己的?如果后一句是你的观点的话,不妨有比较明确的指示词,比如说: in my opinion; as far as I’m concerned; I tend to agree with the point of view that之类的.开头很简洁,同意thmin的,要明确摆出观点

Admittedly, those lesser-known languages need attention and protection. After all, a language inherits from the past不太明白你的意思, standing as a treasure and a history of our ancestors这句的表达也很模糊. It also tells us the procedure of the language,the procedure of language是什么意思呢?语言的进化吗?不妨用evolution这个词 or even the culture, development我个人认为language, culture, development不太适合并列,因为它们之间不是并列的关系. Additionally, not only a culture, a language but also representsa language not only represents a culture but also a dignity of the people who speak it. 这是个病句吧!That is why, when a culture is to conquer another, the most destructive weapon is not the guns or the bombs but the language.为什么?至少应该有个例子来说明啊,否则没有说服力啊. Thus, the governments should take the responsibility to protect those 'endangered' languages, like we protect those endangered animals and history buildings. At the same time, this responsibility rests on not merely the countries in which these extinctive languages are spoken but also the whole world in that a language is a global cultural relic and treasure, just like one of the UNESCO's functions.后边这一句是什么意思?
我感觉你这一段论证的不是很好,前面几个句子提出的观点很模糊,后面又有一些未经证实的观点,而且缺乏相应的例子来说明.
not only~but also~在同一段里用得太多了

However, to overtakeovercome the barricades of the different languages in international communication, it is undeniable that only several languages can be used world widelyworldwide可以作副词用. After all, there are about 200 countries in the world that nearly every country has its own generally used national language. What's more, even in the same country, it might have several languages as the different races exist, needless to say those dialects. Thus, nowadays, it is impossible to call for any person to master all of these languages to communicate as well as all the languages to be popularized in the world. Even though all the languages are allowed to be spoken in a cultural communication, which language of the two sides should be used? In this case, we cannot deny the possibility that none would like to speak the language of the other rather than their own. So the United Nations have authorized that five languages be generally spoken in international communications. Basing on these facts, it is inevitable that some lesser-known languages are in danger.这一段单独看的话,论证得比上一段要好,说理也比较充分;但是你一直说的问题是”国际交流促进了少数语言成为通用语言”,没有对题目作出正面回应,即使最后一句涉及到了,也觉得象强加上去的,所以我个人感觉有点跑题.

At the same time, we should also realize that, in some cases, the disappearances of the lesser-known languages are the process of the 'natural selection'. The globalization involves the cultural communication as well as the businesses. If a language cannot absorb in the modern elements to suffice itself to adapt to the rapid changes of the society, it is reasonable to extinguish as the same as the extinguished animals. A language also needs a broad mindopen mind. Maybe that is why English is so popular in the world, though some people would argue that it depends on the colonization over the world of the UK and the prosperity of the U.S.A. English is capable to absorb in better essences of different cultures to improve it and bear the various accents from the whole world. Meanwhile, protecting the lesser-known languages holds a variety of methods under the condition of the technology nowadays, such as video tapes, CDs, which do not need the countries alone to take the activity, since these languages may hamper the communication to the outside. And many cases have showedshown us that those areas where the lesser-known languages are spoken are underdeveloped. To ask them to stick to their own language completely, in my opinion, is inhumane and inconsiderate.这段有和上段同样的问题
这段比前两段好,论证更充分,举了一些例子,8错 :D

In sum, the protection of the lesser-known languages is necessary and also optional, just like we cannot protect all the endangered animals. 貌似又提出了了一个新论点The governments, on the one hand, should act to prevent them from extinction; on the other hand, to broaden the capacity of these languages to absorb in the essence of other cultures. Moreover, we should also hold the belief that there are always existents that are unable to follow the pace of the history alternations什么是history alternation?.

我感觉你这篇文章从反面说得太多,对题目的正面回应太少. 论点中后两个都是在说与之相反的主流语言是如何如何,我猜你这样做可能是想回避正面论述的困难,但却造成了对小语种论述的不充分;如果你想说明小语种在这些方面做得不如主流语言,就最好能从正面也说明一下,举几个例子说明它们没有做好,在这些方面劣于主流语言,以致于没有办法象主流语言那样存活.

我感觉你的语言和词汇比过去有所进步,但是AW更重要的是思路和逻辑,所以也不应该忽视啊!加油了,我们都需要努力!

语言太模糊了, 尽量表述得清楚一些! 观点还要更鲜明点, 整篇文章不是观点很明确的说! 加油啊!  :)