Issue138同主题7,请多多指教,谢谢!(必回拍)

deserteagleUID: 201968

Issue138  第2篇
兄弟姐妹们,渴望你们的砖头!我会认真回拍的:)
共用时间：105分29秒     493 words
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------摘要------
B1:经过失败然后的成功很常见的,举例…
B2:只有通过失败才能成功这个观点是片面的,举例…
B3:只有从失败中学习教训,才能成功
感觉提炼观点,说理不够,希望大家给点建议,谢谢了!
------正文------
There is an old saying in China: failure is mother to success. However, many people may draw an arbitrary conclusion that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress. Admittedly, many successful people achieve their success through many mistakes. Nevertheless, in my point of view, it is the lesson, the experience we learn from mistakes, other than the mistake itself, that impulse us to advance.
Ostensibly speaking, many successful people have make progress after their failures. Many scientists and economists make progresses or discoveries after they make many mistakes. Take great inventor Edison for example, to find the suitable material for filament, he did myriad experiments and failed over thousands of times, finally he succeeded in finding the element Tungsten as filament. Another example in economic domain is a manager in General Electronic, he invested a great deal of money in exploring a new bulb named Harac continuing light for 10times more than other normal bulbs. But the project failed for the reason that both the product cost and the sale price of a Harac bulb was so high that almost no one would like to buy it. Surprisingly the manager who took charge for this project was promoted instead of demoted because the CEO of GE thought that the manager learned many experiences from his mistake. So for reasons above, we could draw the conclusion that mistakes should be admitted.
However, many people are misleading to believe that success without failure is impossible and give themselves reasons for failure. After every failure they permit their next failures and do not learn from their failures, they would always fail and never succeed. Also consider Edison for example, imagine that if Edison did not analysis causes to failures from every experiment, apparently he would not never find tungsten as the material for filament. So the title that only though mistakes there are discovery or progress is misleading.
Furthermore, to succeed people should learn from mistakes they have made, but not from mistakes themselves. No matter what we work or study in, after we fail in the work, we should not be urgent to try next time and the first thing we should do is to learn from the experience that we analysis from our mistakes. For instance, famous general Duke of Wellington had failed in the several battles against Napoleon, after his every failure, he analysed the reason why he failed and prepared for the next battle against Napoleon. In the last, Duke of Wellington defeated ever-victorious Napoleon in the battle of Waterloo. Hence,I emphasize the importance as one learned the lesson from his mistakes.
As the 1969 winner of Nobel Prize for literature says, "Ever tried, even failed. No matter, try again, fail again, fail better." The saying indicates that both experiences of failures and lessons learned from failures are important to success.Therefore only through the experiences of mistakes and lessons learned from mistakes, can there be discovery or progress.

deserteagleUID: 201968

up

千翼UID: 199721

There is an old saying in China: failure is mother to success. However, many people may draw an arbitrary conclusion that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress. Admittedly, many successful people achieve their success through many mistakes. Nevertheless, in my point of view, it is the lesson, the experience we learn from mistakes, other than the mistake itself, that impulseimpluse是名词，好象不该用在这里吧. us to advance.
Ostensibly speaking, many successful people have make progress after their failures. Many scientists and economists make progresses or discoveries after they make many mistakes. Take great inventor Edison for example, to find the suitable material for filament, he did myriad experiments and failed over thousands of times, finally he succeeded in finding the element Tungsten as filament. Another example in economic domain is a manager in General Electronic, he invested a great deal of money in exploring a new bulb named Harac continuing light for 10times more than other normal bulbs. But the project failed for the reason that both the product cost and the sale price of a Harac bulb was so high that almost no one would like to buy it. Surprisingly the manager who took charge for this project was promoted instead of demoted because the CEO of GE thought that the manager learned many experiences from his mistake. So for reasons above, we could draw the conclusion that mistakes should be admitted.感觉第二个例子的结论有些牵强,再解释一下更好吧.
However, many people are misleading to believe that success without failure is impossible and give themselves reasons for failure. After every failure they permit their next failures and do not learn from their failures, they would always fail and never succeed. Also consider considering.Edison for example, imagine that if Edison did not analysis causes to failures from every experiment, apparently he would not never find tungsten as the material for filamentthe suiable material for filament.. So the title that only though mistakes there are discovery or progress is misleading.
Furthermore, to succeed people should learn from mistakes they have made, but not from mistakes themselves. No matter what we work or study in去掉in., after we fail in the work, we should not be urgent to try next time and the first thing we should do is to learn from the experience that we analysisanalyse. from our mistakes. For instance, famous general Duke of Wellington had failed in the several battles against Napoleon, after his every failure, he analysed the reason why he failed and prepared for the next battle against Napoleon. In the last, Duke of Wellington defeated ever-victorious Napoleon in the battle of Waterloo. Hence,I emphasize the importance as one learned the lesson from his mistakes.
As the 1969 winner of Nobel Prize for literature says, "Ever tried, even failed. No matter, try again, fail again, fail better." The saying indicates that both experiences of failures and lessons learned from failures are important to success.Therefore only through the experiences of mistakes and lessons learned from mistakes, can there be discovery or progress.
整体还可以,用词有点重复,感觉例子太多了,有的不需要讲那么详细.一点意见,参考了.

deserteagleUID: 201968

谢谢千翼

我这就找你的帖子拍

ioiwinUID: 183956

There is an old saying in China: failure is mother to success[success is born of failure ]. However, many people may draw an arbitrary conclusion that only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress. Admittedly, many successful people achieve their success through many mistakes. Nevertheless, in my point of view, it is the lesson, the experience we learn from mistakes, other than the mistake itself, that [U]impulse [/U]  us to advance.
Ostensibly speaking, many successful people have [U]make [/U]  progress after their failures. Many scientists and economists make progresses or discoveries after they make many mistakes. Take great inventor Edison for example, to find the suitable material for filament, he did myriad experiments and failed over thousands of times, finally he succeeded in finding the element Tungsten as filament. Another example in economic domain is a manager in General Electronic, he invested a great deal of money in exploring a new bulb named Harac continuing light for 10times more than other normal bulbs. But the project failed for the reason that both the product cost and the sale price of a Harac bulb was so high that almost no one would like to buy it. Surprisingly the manager who took charge for this project was promoted instead of demoted because the CEO of GE thought that the manager learned many experiences from his mistake. So for reasons above, we could draw the conclusion that [U]mistakes should be admitted[/U] [表达不清楚].
However, many people are misleading to believe that success without failure is impossible and give themselves reasons for failure. After every failure they permit their next failures and do not learn from their failures, they would always fail and never succeed. [U]Also consider Edison for example[/U] [turn to Edison's example discussed above], imagine that if Edison did not analysis causes to failures from every experiment, apparently he would not never find tungsten as the material for filament. So the title that only though mistakes there are discovery or progress is misleading.
Furthermore, [U]to succeed [/U] [in order to, for the purpose  of 换一下] people should learn from [U]mistakes they have made, but not from mistakes themselves[/U] [重复了]. No matter what we work or study in, after we fail in the work, we should not be [U]urgent [/U] [不是很紧急吧] to try [U]next time[/U] [是再一次吧,again,或a second time] and the first thing we should do is to learn [U]from the experience that we analysis from our mistakes[/U][earn  experience from the analysis of our mistakes]  . For instance[to illustrate,什么的你自己多总结举列的语言,举手之劳], famous general Duke of Wellington had failed in the several battles against Napoleon, after his every failure, he analysed[可以换一下try to identify] the reason why he failed and prepared for the next battle against Napoleon. In the last, Duke of Wellington defeated ever-victorious Napoleon in the battle of Waterloo. Hence,I emphasize the [U]importance [/U] [???] as one learned the lesson from his mistakes.
As the 1969 winner of Nobel Prize for literature [U]says,[/U]  "Ever tried, even failed. No matter, try again, fail again, fail better." The saying indicates that both experiences of failures and lessons learned from failures are important to success.[U]Therefore only through the experiences of mistakes and lessons learned from mistakes, can there be discovery or progress.[/U] []重要不代表因果关系]
[第一段给人感觉很累赘一个列子就够了,因为你因该重点论述是后面的部分,后面还可以继续展开写导致进步的其他原因,最后的那句话太绝对]
加油!!!