argument1 第一篇作文第一张帖，请拍砖

skating_dollUID: 168003

1.The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

To reason that residents in Plainsville lead healthy lives and thus recommend opening the next new store of Nature's Way there, the arguer provides three pieces of evidence -- the high sales of exercise products, the popular local health club, and a "fitness for life" program which requires schoolchildren to do regular exercise. However, several logical flaws committed in the reasoning undermine the conclusion.

First of all, the arguer simply assumes that leading healthy lives equals doing  exercise, but as a matter of fact, leading healthy lives concerns a much larger range and more complicated details while doing physical exercises is just certain part of it. For example, healthy life can include healthy food, or household material free from poisonous chemicals which may be consumed every day and bring a lasting and stable profit. Even though commodities for exercise such as running shoes and exercise clothing are popular in Plainsville, there is no guarantee that there could be a necessary link between wearing sports style clothing and leading a healthy life, considering it is popular for young people to choose such kind of casual wear. In this way, it is dubious that the Nature's Way store can compete with some big companies especially producing this kind of fashion such as Nike or Polo.

In addition, the arguer mentions that the local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. But he fails to provide any solid information concerning how the profits can be improved by the members of the club. For instance, it is probably the club rather than its members will buy health-related equipment such as dumbbell，which can be reused, so in this way the sale would be greatly limited. What is more, why residents devote efforts to keep fit could be a result that they do not lead healthy lives -- that is to say, it is probably that they contribute nothing to healthy food sales. And the fact that the club has "more members than ever" is too vague to prove that enough individuals can be potential customer of Natural's way.

Plus, the arguer also anticipated a new generation of customer due to "a fitness for life" program, but no evidence has been provided that it can boost the sale of health-related products. For example, the program may involve just running which may require simply a pair of shoes. Even though they exactly meet the selling point of the products, no strong support have revealed that they will choose Natural' way.

Last but not the least, the arguer does not take into account any information about the existing Health-related products market which may exert a subtle but significant impact on the future of company. For example, if many such kind of stores have already been selling health products there, they may suffer badly from a war of price that greatly reduce the profits.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to reason that the company can benefit from the area due to the reasons he provides. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to give more clear details concerning about the aspects discussed above. After all, any investment hastily executed before a careful and general consideration has been made can be a fatal weakness in this fiercely competing world.

iverUID: 198348

a moment please,

iverUID: 198348

No.1 argument1 第一篇作文第一张帖，请拍砖
1.The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

To reason that residents in Plainsville lead healthy lives and thus recommend opening the next new store of Nature's Way there, the arguer provides three pieces of evidence -- the high sales of exercise products, the popular local health club, and a "fitness for life" program which requires schoolchildren to do regular exercise. However, several logical flaws committed in the reasoning undermine the conclusion.开头写的很好，条理清晰，下面应该有三段分别论述三个方面

First of all, the arguer simply assumes that leading healthy lives equals doing exercise, but as a matter of fact, leading healthy lives concerns a much larger range and more complicated details while doing physical exercises is just certain part of it. For example, healthy life can include healthy food, or household material free from poisonous chemicals which may be consumed every day and bring a lasting and stable profit. Even though commodities for exercise such as running shoes and exercise clothing are popular in Plainsville, there is no guarantee It is not guaranteed that there could be a necessary link between wearing sports style clothing and leading a healthy life, considering it is popular for young people to choose such kind of casual wear. In this way, it is dubious that the Nature's Way store can compete with some big companies especially producing this kind of fashion such as Nike or Polo本段论述的很充分，找不到问题呀！厉害.

In addition, the arguer mentions that the local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. But he fails to provide any solid information concerning how the profits can be improved by the members of the club. For instance, it is probably the club rather than its members will buy health-related equipment［equipments］ such as dumbbell，which can be reused, so in this way the sale would be greatly limited. What is more, why residents devote efforts to keep keeping fit could be a result that they do not lead healthy lives -- that is to say, it is probably that they contribute nothing to healthy food sales. And the fact that the club has "more members than ever" is too vague to prove that enough individuals can be potential customer of Natural's way.

Plus, the arguer also anticipated a new generation of customer due to "a fitness for life" program, but no evidence has been provided that it can boost the sale of health-related products. For example, the program may involve just running which may require simply a pair of shoes. Even though they exactly meet the selling point of the products, no strong support have revealed that they will choose Natural' way.

Last but not the least, the arguer does not take into account any information about the existing Health-related products market which may exert a subtle but significant impact on the future of company. For example, if many such kind of stores have already been selling health products there, they may suffer badly from a war of price that greatly reduce the profits.不错，我写的时候也想这样表达，但是，写的好罗嗦，要向你学习

In conclusion, the arguer fails to reason that the company can benefit from the area due to the reasons he provides. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to give more clear details concerning about the aspects discussed above. After all, any investment hastily executed before a careful and general consideration has been made can be a fatal weakness in this fiercely competing world.
［文章写的很好！
开头和结尾都有力度！
把那几个语法错误该掉，是一篇不折不扣的满分作文！
加油！］
有一点需要补充的是：以前的经验不一定适合现在．呵呵，有点吹毛求疵了！

weinUID: 190374

赞! 语言控制得很好.读起来很顺口.学习~!

skating_dollUID: 168003

受教了，多谢鼓励，反复修改了几次，而且还写了好长时间，还需要不断努力啊！
至于There is no grantee that...好像是从某篇范文里抄来的，我再查一查，不确定的话还是不要用的好，非常感谢，大家互拍吧。

猫猫624UID: 171232

To reason that residents in Plainsville lead healthy lives and thus recommend opening the next new store of Nature's Way there, 本题的论点是recommend opening the next new store of Nature's Way ，而residents in Plainsville lead healthy lives 指是他的论据，要区分。开头简练是好事，但是论点和论据不能混淆 the arguer provides three pieces of evidence -- the high sales of exercise products, the popular local health club, and a "fitness for life" program which requires schoolchildren to do regular exercise. However, several logical flaws committed in the reasoning undermine the conclusion.

First of all, the arguer simply assumes that leading healthy lives equals doing exercise,文中没有说健康生活等于锻炼，应该改成the arguer simply assumes that doing exercise necessarily indicate that people are concerned with healthy lives but as a matter of fact, leading healthy lives concerns a much larger range and more complicated details while doing physical exercises is just certain part of it. For example, healthy life can include healthy food, or household material free from poisonous chemicals which may be consumed every day and bring a lasting and stable profit. Even though commodities for exercise such as running shoes and exercise clothing are popular in Plainsville, there is no guarantee that there could be a necessary link between wearing sports style clothing and leading a healthy life, considering it is popular for young people to choose such kind of casual wear. In this way, it is dubious that the Nature's Way store can compete with some big companies especially producing this kind of fashion such as Nike or Polo.

In addition, the arguer mentions that the local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. But he fails to provide any solid information concerning how the profits can be improved by the members of the club. For instance, it is probably the club rather than its members will buy health-related equipment such as dumbbell，which can be reused, so in this way the sale would be greatly limited. What is more, why residents devote efforts to keep fit could be a result that they do not lead healthy lives -- that is to say, it is probably that they contribute nothing to healthy food sales. And the fact that the club has "more members than ever" is too vague to prove that enough individuals can be potential customer of Natural's way.

Plus, the arguer also anticipated a new generation of customer due to "a fitness for life" program, but no evidence has been provided that it can boost the sale of health-related products. For example, the program may involve just running which may require simply a pair of shoes. Even though they exactly meet the selling point of the products, no strong support have revealed that they will choose Natural' way.

Last but not the least, the arguer does not take into account any information about the existing Health-related products market which may exert a subtle but significant impact on the future of company. For example, if many such kind of stores have already been selling health products there, they may suffer badly from a war of price that greatly reduce the profits.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to reason that the company can benefit from the area due to the reasons he provides. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to give more clear details concerning about the aspects discussed above. After all, any investment hastily executed before a careful and general consideration has been made can be a fatal weakness in this fiercely competing world.
写得挺不错的，继续努力

枫丹UID: 166492

原来是南京的考友, 兴会,兴会, 先占一下, 明天交上啊

skating_dollUID: 168003

To 猫猫：非常感谢修改，我分析逻辑结构时觉得大前提是healthy life带来利润，小前提是P的居民live healthy life，三个论据证明小前提，结论是新店在P。所以我开头说先证明……然后推出……。这样写可以吗？第一段的开头改得非常好，受教了，的确比我原来写的逻辑更严密。

To 枫丹：我在浦口，你呢？

枫丹UID: 166492

最初由 skating_doll 发布
[B]To 猫猫：非常感谢修改，我分析逻辑结构时觉得大前提是healthy life带来利润，小前提是P的居民live healthy life，三个论据证明小前提，结论是新店在P。所以我开头说先证明..

以下省略...... [/B]

哈哈,我在nuaa 名故宫校区.

枫丹UID: 166492

1.        The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

To reason that residents in Plainsville lead healthy lives and thus recommend opening the next new store of Nature's Way there, the arguer provides three pieces of evidence -- the high sales of exercise products, the popular local health club, and a "fitness for life" program which requires schoolchildren to do regular exercise. However, several logical flaws committed in the reasoning undermine the conclusion.首先你要找到题目的结论在那里， 是 recommendation , 不是healthy live.
它只是为结论服务的。

First of all, the arguer simply assumes that leading healthy lives equals doing exercise, （句号）but as a matter of fact, leading healthy lives concerns a much larger range and more complicated details while doing physical exercises is just (a)certain part of it. For example, healthy life can include healthy food, or household material free from poisonous chemicals which may be consumed every day and bring a lasting and stable profit. (这句不好，没有必要定义healthy life你只要指出exercise 不代表healthy life就可以了)Even though commodities for exercise such as running shoes and exercise clothing are popular in Plainsville, there is no guarantee that（这样用对吗？） there could be a necessary link between wearing sports style clothing and leading a healthy life, considering it is popular for young people to choose such kind of casual wear. In this way, it is dubious that the Nature's Way store can compete with some big companies especially producing this kind of fashion such as Nike or Polo.

In addition, the arguer mentions that the local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full.（开头最好直接给出错误） But he fails to provide any solid information concerning how the profits can be improved by the members of the club. For instance, it is probably the club rather than its members will buy health-related equipment such as dumbbell，which can be reused, so in this way the sale would be greatly limited.（什么意思？？） What is more, why residents devote efforts to keep fit could be a result that they do not lead healthy lives -- that is to say, it is probably that they contribute nothing to healthy food sales. And the fact that the club has "more members than ever" is too vague to prove that enough individuals can be potential customer of Natural's way.

Plus, the arguer also anticipated a new generation of customer due to "a fitness for life" program, but no evidence has been provided that it can boost the sale of health-related products. For example, the program may involve just running which may require simply a pair of shoes. Even though they exactly meet the selling point of the products, no strong support have revealed that they will choose Natural' way.
这段不错，层次很好••
Last but not the least, the arguer does not take into account any information about the existing Health-related products market which may exert a subtle but significant impact on the future of company. For example, if many such kind （注意单复数）of stores have already been selling health products there, they may suffer badly from a war of price that greatly reduce the profits.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to reason that the company can benefit from the area due to the reasons he provides. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to give more clear details concerning about the aspects discussed above. After all, any investment hastily executed before a careful and general consideration has been made can be a fatal weakness in this fiercely competing world.
总的来说写的不错哦！！注意语法，还有2.3的层次，说清楚。努力，你会越写越好的！！

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 skating_doll 发布
[B]To 猫猫：非常感谢修改，我分析逻辑结构时觉得大前提是healthy life带来利润，小前提是P的居民live healthy life，三个论据证明小前提，结论是新店在P。所以我开头说先证明..

以下省略...... [/B]

你的说法好象也行的通,但有一点argument 考试其中有一条非常重要就是找论点.我看了题库中有几道论点好象是两句话.他们之间是并列关系.而这道题我觉得你说的那个小前提还是论据的成分多,因为文章是一个商业类的建议,目的不是说居民关不关心健康,而是开不开店,我建议还是把论点和论据分开写.要驳斥的论点写清楚一些.对于开头我写的一向比较罗嗦,和这里很多大虾不一样.我感觉这样可以使自己先把思路礼的比较清楚.否则写到后面我往往就忘了事先想好的.呵呵见笑了.可能写熟练了开头就可以短一些了.呵呵

skating_dollUID: 168003

多谢各位的宝贵意见，我修改了一下作文

1. The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

To recommend opening the next new store of Nature's Way in Plainsville, the arguer reasons that residents there lead healthy lives by providing three pieces of evidence -- the high sales of exercise products, the popularity of local health club, and a "fitness for life" program which requires school children to do regular exercise. However, several logical flaws committed in the reasoning undermine the conclusion.

To begin with, buying running shoes and exercise clothing does not necessarily indicate that people are doing exercise regularly and thus concerned with healthy lives. Perhaps people tend to choose them simply because they are cheaper or able to stand wear and tear. Or perhaps it is a kind of fashion for young people to enjoy sport-style casual wear. Even if they buy products of this kind for exercising, whether they take interest in leading healthy lives which concerns a much larger range and more complicated details while physical exercises is just certain part of it is unknown from the argument. Also the argument contains no evidence to support the assumption that residents would like to buy exercise products from Nature's way, let alone healthy food or other health-relate products. For example, considering fashion factor of clothing, it is dubious that the Nature's Way store can compete with some big companies especially producing this kind of fashion such as Nike or Polo.

Another point the arguer stresses is the popularity of the local health club as well as the weight training and aerobics classes, but whether Nature' Way can make a profit on the basis of this evidence is questionable. It is possible that why residents devote efforts to keep fit could be a result that they do not lead healthy lives, that is to say, they may contribute nothing to healthy food sales. It is also probable that the club rather than its members will buy health-related equipments such as dumbbell，which can be reused, and in this way the sales would be greatly limited. And the notioin that the club has "more members than ever" is too vague to prove that enough individuals can be potential customer of Natural's way.

Plus, the arguer also anticipated a new generation of customer just due to "a fitness for life" program which requires children to do exercises regularly, but no evidence has been provided that it can boost the sale of health-related products. Perhaps the program involves just running which may require simply a pair of shoes. Meanwhile, this compulsive participation is no indication of real interest in leading healthy life, children may not care about it at all after they finish what the program requires. Even though they exactly meet the selling point of the products, no strong support have revealed that they will choose Natural's way.

Last but not the least, the arguer does not take into account any information about the existing Health-related products market in Plainsville which may exert a subtle but significant impact on the future of company. For example, if many such kinds of stores have already been selling health products there, the Nature's way may suffer badly from a war of price that will greatly reduce the profits.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to reason that the company can benefit from the area on the basis of the reasons he provides. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to give more clear details concerning about the aspects discussed above. After all, any investment hastily executed before a careful and general consideration has been made can be a fatal weakness in this fiercely competing world.