ISSUE212 倒计时第六天，大家尽情来拍砖吧，越狠越好

comingsoonUID: 175137

Issue212   让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：43分45秒     524 words
从2005年2月26日9时34分到2005年2月26日10时43分
------题目------
If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.
------正文------
Is it really justifiable to take any means to attain a goal that is thought to be worthy, as the speaker assert? I concede that many measures needed to be tried to achieve success, however, in my point of view, it is to some extent too unreasonable to acknowledge the authenticity of every means of achieving a goal.

To begin with, common sense tell us that if a goal is really worthy, we would try out best and work hard to attain it since only in this way can we gradually get closer to the final goal. In this process people could get a broad perspective and comprehensive apprehension of their work and also could derive profound understanding of the final goal. Furthermore, ceaseless try would ultimately provide the right approach to success or at least could serve as useful guidance for people. When we refer to history, we could see that a variety of tries were needed to attain a significant breakthrough or invention or a new theory. The famous inventor Edison, for instance, had gone through thousands of failures in the process of the great invention--light bulb. However, he kept on trying and take perhaps every means he could to attain the goal, which finally, under his hardworking, a appropriate material was found for the filament of light bulb. In other words, hardworking and ceaseless tries are indispensable for attaining a goal.

However, it is not to say that every means is justifiable since the side effect and others' interests should not be neglected at all. On the one hand, a comparison between its side effect and goal is needed to make people have a clear understanding of the practicability of these means and whether they are really worth of a try. For instance, effective losing weight perhaps is a dream for every out-weighted people since exceeding weight really is not convenient for everyday life and more or less is not pretty. Yet some people tend to eat less and even more, sleep less to attain this goal. Nevertheless, perhaps it is an efficient way to lose weight considerably, it does have egregious harmful effects on people's healthy in that many disease of vital harm such as heart disease would arise from such a way of losing weight. Obviously, it is not an appropriate approach to a slender figure.

On the other hand, we should also take into account of others' interests. Perhaps to erect factories of heavy industry is indeed a beneficial access to economic prosperity of a small town which would undoubtedly lead to the flourish of the whole town. But, in another perspective, such means of erecting factories of heavy industry could serve as a pollution source which would lead to heavy level of water pollution and air pollution of the whole state and the interests of the majority is greatly violated. Thus others' interests are especially needed to be taken into account.

To sum up, hard work and various tries is obviously indispensable to attain a goal. Yet, however, we should also consider the side effect of every means as well as take others' interests into account.

GrowlywolfUID: 200584

Is it really justifiable to take any means to attain a goal that is thought to be worthy, as the speaker assert? I concede that many measures needed to be tried to achieve success, however, in my point of view, it is to some extent too unreasonable to acknowledge[连续三个tju:的发音，太别扭了，把to some extent换个位置或者不要吧] the authenticity of every means of[这个of貌似也能换] achieving a goal.

To begin with, common sense tell us that if a goal is really worthy[这里提出了worthy，偶还以为你下面要讲什么goal是worthy的呢], we would try out best and work hard to attain it since only in this way can we gradually get closer to the final goal. In this process people could get a broad perspective and comprehensive apprehension of their work and also could derive profound understanding of the final goal. Furthermore, ceaseless try would ultimately provide the right approach to success or at least could serve as useful guidance for people. When we refer to history, we could see that a variety of tries were needed to attain a significant breakthrough or invention or a new theory. The famous inventor Edison, for instance, had gone through thousands of failures in the process of the great invention--light bulb. However, he kept on trying and take perhaps every means he could to attain the goal, which finally, under his hardworking, a appropriate material was found for the filament of light bulb. In other words, hardworking and ceaseless tries are indispensable for attaining a goal.
[本段整体感觉有些跑题，题目说的是any means，也就是说比较具体的“任何手段”。你花了一整段来讲抽象的hardworking，跑了吧。]

However, it is not to say that every means is justifiable since the side effect and others' interests should not be neglected at all. On the one hand, a comparison between its side effect and goal is needed to make people have a clear understanding of the practicability of these means and whether they are really worth of a try. For instance, effective losing weight perhaps is a dream for every out-weighted people since exceeding weight really is not convenient for everyday life and more or less is not pretty. Yet some people tend to eat less and even more, sleep less to attain this goal. Nevertheless, perhaps it is an efficient way to lose weight considerably, it does have egregious harmful effects on people's healthy in that many disease of vital harm such as[such as能接从句么？忘了] heart disease would arise from such a way of losing weight. Obviously, it is not an appropriate approach to a slender figure.

On the other hand, we should also take into account of others' interests. Perhaps to erect factories of heavy industry is indeed a beneficial access to economic prosperity of a small town[这里掉了逗号，否则which看上去像是指代the small town] which would undoubtedly lead to the flourish of the whole town[语序怪怪的，把the whole town放到lead to之间是不是好一点]. But, in another perspective, such means [of erecting factories of heavy industry跟前面重复了吧] could serve as a pollution source which would lead to heavy level[heavy level? high level? or ...] of water pollution and air pollution[两个pollution再次重复] of the whole state and the interests of the majority is greatly violated. Thus others' interests are especially needed to be taken into account.

To sum up, hard work and various tries is obviously indispensable to attain a goal. Yet, however, we should also consider the side effect of every means as well as take others' interests into account.


还是那句话，B1的分论点跑题了。
你很喜欢堆副词的说，^_^

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.

Whether a goal is worthy for oneself or for society is a key cut-in for this issue

Is it really justifiable to take any means to attain a goal that is thought to be worthy, as the speaker assert? I concede that many measures needed to be tried to achieve success, however, in my point of view, it is to some extent too unreasonable to acknowledge the authenticity of every means of achieving a goal.

To begin with, common sense tell us that if a goal is really worthy, we would try out best and work hard to attain it since only in this way can we gradually get closer to the final goal. In this process people could get a broad perspective and comprehensive apprehension of their work and also could derive profound understanding of the final goal. Furthermore, ceaseless try would ultimately provide the right approach to success or at least could serve as useful guidance for people. When we refer to history, we could see that a variety of tries were needed to attain a significant breakthrough or invention or a new theory. The famous inventor Edison, for instance, had gone through thousands of failures in the process of the great invention--light bulb. However, he kept on trying and take perhaps every means he could to attain the goal, which finally, under his hardworking, a appropriate material was found for the filament of light bulb. In other words, hardworking and ceaseless tries are indispensable for attaining a goal.
What about citing examples which are successes of taking every means ?(point out meams as many as possible instead of just saying they have taken. It may be more convincing)

However, it is not to say that every means is justifiable since the side effect and others' interests should not be neglected at all. On the one hand, a comparison between its side effect and goal is needed to make people have a clear understanding of the practicability of these means and whether they are really worth of a try. For instance, effective losing weight perhaps is a dream for every out-weighted people since exceeding weight really is not convenient for everyday life and more or less is not pretty. Yet some people tend to eat less and even more, sleep less to attain this goal. Nevertheless, perhaps it is an efficient way to lose weight considerably, it does have egregious harmful effects on people's healthy in that many disease of vital harm such as heart disease would arise from such a way of losing weight. Obviously, it is not an appropriate approach to a slender figure.

On the other hand, we should also take into account of others' interests. Perhaps to erect factories of heavy industry is indeed a beneficial access to economic prosperity of a small town which would undoubtedly lead to the flourish of the whole town. But, in another perspective, such means of erecting factories of heavy industry could serve as a pollution source which would lead to heavy level of water pollution and air pollution of the whole state and the interests of the majority is greatly violated. Thus others' interests are especially needed to be taken into account.

To sum up, hard work and various tries is obviously indispensable to attain a goal. Yet, however, we should also consider the side effect of every means as well as take others' interests into account.

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.

Whether a goal is worthy for oneself or for society is a key cut-in for this issue

Is it really justifiable to take any means to attain a goal that is thought to be worthy, as the speaker assert? I concede that many measures needed to be tried to achieve success, however, in my point of view, it is to some extent too unreasonable to acknowledge the authenticity of every means of achieving a goal.

To begin with, common sense tell us that if a goal is really worthy, we would try out best and work hard to attain it since only in this way can we gradually get closer to the final goal. In this process people could get a broad perspective and comprehensive apprehension of their work and also could derive profound understanding of the final goal. Furthermore, ceaseless try would ultimately provide the right approach to success or at least could serve as useful guidance for people. When we refer to history, we could see that a variety of tries were needed to attain a significant breakthrough or invention or a new theory. The famous inventor Edison, for instance, had gone through thousands of failures in the process of the great invention--light bulb. However, he kept on trying and take perhaps every means he could to attain the goal, which finally, under his hardworking, a appropriate material was found for the filament of light bulb. In other words, hardworking and ceaseless tries are indispensable for attaining a goal.
What about citing examples which are successes of taking every means ?point out meams as many as possible instead of just saying they have taken. It may be more convincing

However, it is not to say that every means is justifiable since the side effect and others' interests should not be neglected at all. On the one hand, a comparison between its side effect and goal is needed to make people have a clear understanding of the practicability of these means and whether they are really worth of a try. For instance, effective losing weight perhaps is a dream for every out-weighted people since exceeding weight really is not convenient for everyday life and more or less is not pretty. Yet some people tend to eat less and even more, sleep less to attain this goal. Nevertheless, perhaps it is an efficient way to lose weight considerably, it does have egregious harmful effects on people's healthy in that many disease of vital harm such as heart disease would arise from such a way of losing weight. Obviously, it is not an appropriate approach to a slender figure.

On the other hand, we should also take into account of others' interests. Perhaps to erect factories of heavy industry is indeed a beneficial access to economic prosperity of a small town which would undoubtedly lead to the flourish of the whole town. But, in another perspective, such means of erecting factories of heavy industry could serve as a pollution source which would lead to heavy level of water pollution and air pollution of the whole state and the interests of the majority is greatly violated. Thus others' interests are especially needed to be taken into account.

To sum up, hard work and various tries is obviously indispensable to attain a goal. Yet, however, we should also consider the side effect of every means as well as take others' interests into account.

comingsoonUID: 175137

是不是如果b1改成说明to achieve a worthy goal, take as many ways as possible is important的话，是不是要好点？

GrowlywolfUID: 200584

最初由 comingsoon 发布
[B]是不是如果b1改成说明to achieve a worthy goal, take as many ways as possible is important的话，是不是要好点？ [/B]

貌似也不太好。你这个as many as possible跟下面不符。不如老老实实说啥是worthy

mariaUID: 197971

刚看了楼主的作文，如果非要让步的话按你的说法B1的ts 写成to achieve a worthy goal, take as many ways as possible is important 是更好一点