Issue138 第16篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

sailing_yfUID: 150982

569 words
------题目------
提纲
1失败提供再一次的机会
2失败提供经验
3失败由许多决定
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------
All people, in world, are struggled to achieve success to attain their personal value meanwhile contribute to the society. Some people claimed that only mistake determines the discovery and progress in science and technology. It is true that many factors affect the result, but mistakes teach us the most important.

First of all, experiencing a failure indicates that a wrong way has been proved by action not to success, but denoting a new way to take in which scientists might acquire the opportunity to figure out the result. Before the experts knew the world, what they could do is to try every possibility of releasing the truth and nature of problem. For example, the invention of lamp could not lead us, the ordinary, into light in the dark for the expensive cost and low quality of lamp. At that condition in which no one in the society could clearly make sense what is the durable material to be consider in a hot temperature and generating the light, Edison and his fellow spent thousands of times and ten thousands of dollars to try everything that people thought and saw in daily life. At last a more durable and cheaper lamp are experimented by them, changing our regular life fundamentally-sleeping in the day, while working and entertaining in night, and bringing tremendous profits for them to institution GE, a gigantic company in business. In a word and I paraphrase experiments bring millions of failure and a chance of success.

And another important treasure from failure is the experience, derived from flaws and attributing to our action rather than only disappointment, anger and innocence. Each time of fallacy denotes some unknown reasons and wrong ideas which deserve us to find out and make them clear. What we receive from the gathering first hand data, analysising the results and designing another experiment is the further recognize of principle reaching the destiny. Furthermore, this cherished experiences incite us actively to seek the truth in that the curiosity is the one of most important factors that human owned and pushing our society forwards. We need not look further to find the exact example to support. The famous scientists, Isaac Newton, used to say that: what I achieved is because I stand on the shoulder of giant. The pre-experience prepared the foundation for us and we definitely benefit from it.

However, only failure could not lead to prominence but disappoint and anger. A insightful inspiration and durable persistence, adequate knowledge, indispensable opportunity are all bond to determine the final result. If you want to deep think the result, knowledge is necessary. If you fell in desire, persistence could help you out abandon, If you equipped with high qualify could not exert, an opportunity render out of dilemma. Like a phrase God only help those prepared for maturity. Like a famous General ZhuGeLiang in ancient in China. He was erudit, insightful in politics and was acquaincence in war. Only after a proper opportunity, the primer in a country, embace him, then what he learned could be apprecaited by world, through his prominent capability in military, politics and governing the region. Thus many combined together render a success to you rather than only through the mistake.

In a conclusion, only when we take full use of experience derived from failure, and persistent in action, use the adequate knowledge, could our discovery and progress would be achieved.

sailing_yfUID: 150982

ding

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

------题目------
提纲
1失败提供再一次的机会
2失败提供经验
3失败由许多决定？这个有些奇怪的说，先看看
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------
All people, in world, are struggled to achieve success to attain their personal value meanwhile contribute to the society. Some people claimed that only mistake determines the discovery and progress in science and technology. It is true that many factors affect the result, but mistakes teach us the most important.

First of all, experiencing a failure indicates that a wrong way has been proved by action not to success, but denoting a new way to take in which scientists might acquire the opportunity to figure out the result.论点不错 Before the experts knew the world, what they could do is to try every possibility of releasing the truth and nature of problem. For example, the invention of lamp could not lead us, the ordinary, into light in the dark for the expensive cost and low quality of lamp. At that condition in which no one in the society could clearly make sense what is the durable material to be consider in a hot temperature and generating the light, Edison and his fellow spent thousands of times and ten thousands of dollars to try everything that people thought and saw in daily life. At last a more durable and cheaper lamp are experimented by them, changing our regular life fundamentally-sleeping in the day, while working and entertaining in night, and bringing tremendous profits for them to institution GE, a gigantic company in business. In a word and I paraphrase experiments bring millions of failure and a chance of success.例子太长了，占了快一段，观点不错，例子描述太详细了，理论论据少了点，这样会显得有些表面，不够深入，最好再加入一些分析，或者例子丰富点，不要一个灯丝的例子用了快一段，而且这个耳熟能详，后面说光明了，GE了都有些废话，对服务你的论点作用不大。

And another important treasure from failure is the experience, derived from flaws and attributing to our action rather than only disappointment, anger and innocence. Each time of fallacy denotes some unknown reasons and wrong ideas which deserve us to find out and make them clear. What we receive from the gathering first hand data, analysising the results and designing another experiment is the further recognize of principle reaching the destiny. Furthermore, this cherished experiences incite us actively to seek the truth in that the curiosity is the one of most important factors that human owned and pushing our society forwards. We need not look further to find the exact example to support. The famous scientists, Isaac Newton, used to say that: what I achieved is because I stand on the shoulder of giant. 这句不太恰当吧，和错误有很多关系么？只说明以前的经验和成就The pre-experience prepared the foundation for us and we definitely benefit from it.总的说还不错，例子的选取再斟酌下

However, only failure could not lead to prominence but disappoint and anger. A insightful inspiration and durable persistence, adequate knowledge, indispensable opportunity are all bond to determine the final result. If you want to deep think the result, knowledge is necessary. If you fell in desire, persistence could help you out abandon, If you equipped with high qualify could not exert, an opportunity render out of dilemma. Like a phrase God only help those prepared for maturity. Like a famous General ZhuGeLiang in ancient in China. He was erudit, insightful in politics and was acquaincence in war. Only after a proper opportunity, the primer in a country, embace him, then what he learned could be apprecaited by world, through his prominent capability in military, politics and governing the region. 这个例子，觉得还是不太适合，还是你表述的重点的问题？和不仅仅有错误还有多因素的关系不密切。Thus many combined together render a success to you rather than only through the mistake.

In a conclusion, only when we take full use of experience derived from failure, and persistent in action, use the adequate knowledge, could our discovery and progress would be achieved.

总的说，还不错。思路清晰，结构也安排的不错。发觉整个文章都有一个问题就是例子的表述上，也许你的例子有一些方面是服务你的论点的，但是还有些感觉就是没说到位，绕远的东西多了，使得例子有些不太fit了。看看小鬼写那篇例子的文章？加油！