Issue10 看到战友一个接一个都考完了 又happy又紧张！！

天晴了UID: 201592

Issue10

题目为什么把
A城市thriving，
B government支持
C传统文化
凑在一起 ？

我想是不是应该找到三者的关系 ：
C离不开A，A也离不开C；
B有必要对A负责和对C负责 ；
利用A和C的关系, B的支持才能更有效率  


------摘要------
b1:论述文化传统主要存在于城市
b2:使城市繁荣和保护传统的关系―》政府需要给予财政上的支持
b3:利用城市繁荣和保护传承文化的关系－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure

------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.



With the modernization and civilization, a nation's cultural traditions are generated, accumulated and deposited primarily in major cities. As for its ever-lasting values, while dangerous current situation, government should find solutions, including financial supports as what the speaker suggest, for promoting and assisting for the thriving of the cities instead of fully support to make guarantee.
  
First of all, cultural traditions, considering of a nation's characters on people's immaterial behaviors, value systems, and material deposits, do exist primarily in major cities. On one hand, traditions are generated during the long history of many major cities. Religious churches in Colon, art museums in Florence and Forbidden City in Beijing are all the witnesses of cultural alteration one generation by another. On the other hand, as for people with traditional techniques and crafts, major city is the ideal destination of different culture. Its prospective attracts people from the whole nation, rural or other cities, rush towards major cities with their capabilities and customs to earn their lives or assimilate their culture. With different costumes, diversified traditional method of creating craft, distinctive folk songs, major city can not escape from becoming the culture accumulation center. As a result, major cities contribute much to culture preservation for the nation.

Then, as for its significance of cultural generation and collection, it is necessary to support these cities. Whether these cities are thriving determines whether it can preserve its own culture and attract more. Take a city Luoyang for example, it used to be a major city of Tang dynasty. In 1960’s, for no money to support the city, its cultural heritages disappeared, valuable ancient buildings were deteriorated, and craftsmen shifted their professions. After the financial aid later to make up the defeat, the tradition extinction was under control then. So from the lessons can we draw the government support is indispensable.   

As a result, it is the unavoidable obligation that financial support should be subsidized by government. But whether to ensure the major cities to thrive is under consideration. In my perspective, because of the value of traditional legacy government should utilize the treasure handed down by our ancestors and allocate the resources from macro-view to promote the prosperity of the city and its cultural traditions mutually and simultaneously instead of simply and unilateral ensuring the thriving. Since the self-promotion and self-improving capability of major cities, financial aids to them should be regarded as advance funds for project launch. Take the tourism city Florence for example. Because of the proper protection facilitated by market execution initiated by government support, the thriving city released the burden of government by utilizing their traditional value through market implementation. As a benignant circulation, the patronage will be more beneficial with relatively less money by government.

In sum, the traditional treasures, especially in major cities, should be protected with proper method by government. Through thoroughly managing the relationships between city development, cultural legacy and government support can we achieve both cultural tradition preservation and thriving of major cities effectively and efficiently .     (502)

kkytUID: 188814

偶来拍以下,你分析的逻辑不错啊

kkytUID: 188814

Issue10

题目为什么把
A城市thriving，
B government支持
C传统文化
凑在一起 ？

我想是不是应该找到三者的关系 ：
C离不开A，A也离不开C；
B有必要对A负责和对C负责 ；
利用A和C的关系, B的支持才能更有效率
[题目就是说政府必须要确保主要城市发展所需的财政支持，因为一个国家的文化传统主要是在城市中得以保存和发展。]
[好象这道题在说，因为城市有文化传统，为了文化传统的保存和发展，所以我们应该发展城市，晕了，不想那么复杂了。]

------摘要------
b1:论述文化传统主要存在于城市
b2:使城市繁荣和保护传统的关系―》政府需要给予财政上的支持
b3:利用城市繁荣和保护传承文化的关系－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure

------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

With the modernization and civilization, a nation's cultural traditions are generated, accumulated and deposited primarily in major cities.[这句通么，随着现代化进程，传统文化产生？] As for its ever-lasting values, while dangerous current situation, government should find solutions, including financial supports as what the speaker suggest, for promoting and assisting for the thriving of the cities instead of fully support to make guarantee.[TS句暂不评论，向后看]

First of all, cultural traditions, considering of a nation's characters on people's immaterial behaviors, value systems, and material deposits, do exist primarily in major cities.[TS句自定义了以下cultural traditions] On one hand, traditions are generated during the long history of[from] many major cities. Religious churches in Colon, art museums in Florence and Forbidden City in Beijing are all the witnesses of cultural alteration one generation by another. On the other hand, as for people with traditional techniques and crafts, major city is the ideal destination of different culture.[我认为这里的传统文化是一个国家的unique的东西，而你来一个different culture虾米意思？] Its prospective attracts people from the whole nation, rural or other cities, rush towards major cities with their capabilities and customs to earn their lives or assimilate their culture. With different costumes, diversified traditional method of creating craft, distinctive folk songs, and major city can not escape from becoming the culture accumulation center. As a result, major cities contribute much to culture preservation for the nation. [论证了城市是文化的发源和保存地]

Then, as for its significance of cultural generation and collection, it is necessary to support these cities. Whether these cities are thriving determines[反了depends on] whether it can preserve its own culture and attract more. [这个提法太绝对]Take a [the] city Luoyang for example, it used to be a major city of Tang dynasty. In 1960’s, for no money to support the city, its cultural heritages disappeared, valuable ancient buildings were deteriorated, and craftsmen shifted their professions.[这句太绝对了，再说洛阳的衰退也不是六十年代的事啊] After the financial aid later to make up the defeat, the tradition extinction[啥米意思，灭绝了是一个结果，怎么又under control ] was under control then. So from the lessons can we draw [a conclusion] the government support is indispensable. [语法有问题吧][这段论证了，没有文化的繁荣就没有城市的发展，但是我觉得题目要论证的是，如城市不发展，文化就不能发展，所以你论证的是反了]

As a result, it is the unavoidable obligation that financial support should be subsidized by government. But whether to ensure the major cities to thrive is under consideration. In my perspective, because of the value of traditional legacy government should utilize the treasure handed down by our ancestors and allocate the resources from macro-view to promote the prosperity of the city and its cultural traditions mutually and simultaneously instead of simply and unilateral ensuring the thriving. [这几句写的不错]Since the self-promotion and self-improving capability of major cities, financial aids to them should be regarded as advance funds for project launch. Take the tourism city Florence for example. Because of the proper protection facilitated by market execution initiated by government support, the thriving city released the burden of government by utilizing their traditional value through market implementation.[不错的例子] As a benignant circulation, the patronage will be more beneficial with relatively less money by government.

In sum, the traditional treasures, especially in major cities, should be protected with proper method by government. Through thoroughly managing the relationships between city development, cultural legacy and government support can we achieve both cultural tradition preservation and thriving of major cities effectively and efficiently. (502)
[总的来说，你的语言还行，可以看出你的基础不错，你对这到题目的理解方向是正确的，再仔细考虑以下BODY2就行]

天晴了UID: 201592

最初由 kkyt 发布
[B]Issue10

[题目就是说政府必须要确保主要城市发展所需的财政支持，因为一个国家的文化传统主要是在城市中得以保存和发展。]
[好象这道题在说，因为城市有文化传统，为了文化传统的保存和发展，所以我们应该发展城市，晕了，不想那么复杂了。]

------摘要------
b1:论述文化传统主要存在于城市
b2:使城市繁荣和保护传统的关系―》政府需要给予财政上的支持
b3:利用城市繁荣和保护传承文化的关系－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure

以下省略...... [/B]

是这个意思
我把炸药再写明白一些吧～～
------摘要------
b1:论述文化传统主要存在于城市
同意作者观点
b2:使城市繁荣和保护传统的关系―》政府需要给予财政上的支持
同意作者观点，这些城市繁荣了，才能保护传统 ―》政府需要给予财政上的支持

b3:利用城市繁荣和保护传承文化的关系－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure
my contention lies in 促进这些城市繁荣，不一定要financial support 去ensure。通过传统保护能够帮政城市繁荣－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure

天晴了UID: 201592

最初由 kkyt 发布
[B]Issue10

Then, as for its significance of cultural generation and collection, it is necessary to support these cities. Whether these cities are thriving determines[反了depends on] whether it can preserve its own culture and attract more. [这个提法太绝对]Take a [the] city Luoyang for example, it used to be a major city of Tang dynasty. In 1960’s, for no money to support the city, its cultural heritages disappeared, valuable ancient buildings were deteriorated, and craftsmen shifted their professions.[这句太绝对了，再说洛阳的衰退也不是六十年代的事啊] After the financial aid later to make up the defeat, the tradition extinction[啥米意思，灭绝了是一个结果，怎么又under control ] was under control then. So from the lessons can we draw [a conclusion] the government support is indispensable. [语法有问题吧][这段论证了，没有文化的繁荣就没有城市的发展，但是我觉得题目要论证的是，如城市不发展，文化就不能发展，所以你论证的是反了]

以下省略...... [/B]

【我的理解也是Whether these cities are thriving determines[反了depends on] whether it can preserve its own culture 和你一样的啦呀～ 洛阳城市不繁荣 导致文化流失 你看呢？ 唉～～写的还是不清楚～看来应该加强一下在例子中的前提的介绍】

天晴了UID: 201592

好了 kkyt  多谢啦 我去朝你的issue142 了啊～

猫猫624UID: 171232

With the modernization and civilization, a nation's cultural traditions are generated, accumulated and deposited primarily in major cities. As for its ever-lasting values, while dangerous current situation,怎么突然就提到dangerous了，有个过渡吧 government should find solutions, including financial supports as what the speaker suggest, for promoting and assisting for the thriving of the cities instead of fully support supporting to make guarantee.后面提到不能完全支持，这句话包括的意思有点多，最好分开写

First of all, cultural traditions, considering of considered as a nation's characters on people's immaterial behaviors, value systems, and material deposits, do exist primarily in major cities. On one hand, traditions are generated during the long history of many major cities. Religious churches in Colon, art museums in Florence and Forbidden City in Beijing are all the witnesses of cultural alteration one generation by another. On the other hand, as for people with traditional techniques and crafts, major city is the ideal destination of different culture. Its prospective attracts people from the whole nation, rural or other cities, rush towards major cities with their capabilities and customs to earn their lives or assimilate their culture这句有点怪，人们进入城市是为了assimilate their culture. With different costumes, diversified traditional method of creating craft, distinctive folk songs, major city can not escape from becoming the culture accumulation center. As a result, major cities contribute much to culture preservation for the nation.

Then, as for its significance of cultural generation and collection, it is necessary to support these cities. Whether these cities are thriving determines whether it can preserve its own culture and attract more. Take a city Luoyang for example, it used to be a major city of Tang dynasty. In 1960’s, for no money to support the city, its cultural heritages disappeared, valuable ancient buildings were deteriorated, and craftsmen shifted their professions. After the financial aid later to make up the defeat, the tradition extinction was under control then. So from the lessons can we draw the government support is indispensable.

As a result, it is the unavoidable obligation that financial support should be subsidized by government. But whether to ensure the major cities to thrive is under consideration. In my perspective, because of the value of traditional legacy government should utilize the treasure handed down by our ancestors and allocate the resources from macro-view to promote the prosperity of the city and its cultural traditions mutually and simultaneously instead of simply and unilateral ensuring the thriving. Since the self-promotion and self-improving capability of major cities, financial aids to them should be regarded as advance funds for project launch. Take the tourism city Florence for example. Because of the proper protection facilitated by market execution initiated by government support, the thriving city released the burden of government by utilizing their traditional value through market implementation. As a benignant circulation, the patronage will be more beneficial with relatively less money by government.这段提到政府可以通过其他方法来支持，但是过度的不好，第二句But whether to ensure the major cities to thrive is under consideration.感觉没有力量，under consideration 不好

In sum, the traditional treasures, especially in major cities, should be protected with proper method by government. Through thoroughly managing the relationships between city development, cultural legacy and government support can we achieve both cultural tradition preservation and thriving of major cities effectively and efficiently . (502)
作者的破题点和我不太一样，提到的政府支持城市的繁荣，好像可以说通。我理解的单单是文化的繁荣

neverflyUID: 166610

Issue10


------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.


题目为什么把
A城市thriving，
B government支持
C传统文化
凑在一起 ？

我想是不是应该找到三者的关系 ：
C离不开A，A也离不开C；
B有必要对A负责和对C负责 ；
利用A和C的关系, B的支持才能更有效率


------摘要------
b1:论述文化传统主要存在于城市
b2:使城市繁荣和保护传统的关系―》政府需要给予财政上的支持
b3:利用城市繁荣和保护传承文化的关系－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure

With the modernization and civilization[modernization好像比较绝对不如改成随着人类进步和社会城市化], a nation's cultural traditions are generated, accumulated and deposited primarily in major cities. As for its ever-lasting values, while [while好像不能当介词]dangerous current situation, government should find solutions, including financial supports as what the speaker suggest, for promoting and assisting for the thriving of the cities instead of fully support to make guarantee.

First of all, cultural traditions, considering of a nation's characters on people's immaterial behaviors, value systems, and material deposits, do exist primarily in major cities. On one hand, traditions are generated during the long history of many major cities. Religious churches in Colon, art museums in Florence and Forbidden City in Beijing are all the witnesses of cultural alteration one generation by another. On the other hand, as for people with traditional techniques and crafts, major city is the ideal destination of different culture. Its prospective attracts people from the whole nation, rural or other cities, rush towards major cities with their capabilities and customs to earn their lives or assimilate their culture. With different costumes, diversified traditional method of creating craft, distinctive folk songs[感觉用with something doing的形式更好], major city can not escape from becoming the culture accumulation center. As a result, major cities contribute much to culture preservation for the nation.

Then, as for its [its指谁？不如用the]significance of cultural generation and collection, it is necessary to support these cities. Whether these cities are thriving determines whether it can preserve its own culture and attract more. Take a city Luoyang for example, it used to be a major city of Tang dynasty. In 1960’s, for no money to support the city, its cultural heritages disappeared, valuable ancient buildings were deteriorated, and craftsmen shifted their professions. After the financial aid later to make up the defeat, the tradition extinction was under control then. So from the lessons can we draw the government support is indispensable.

As a result, it is the unavoidable obligation that financial support should be subsidized by government. But whether to ensure the major cities to thrive is under consideration.[这话有点歧义。要支持它，但是不能让它活？] In my perspective, because of the value of traditional legacy government should utilize the treasure handed down by our ancestors and allocate the resources from macro-view to promote the prosperity of the city and its cultural traditions mutually and simultaneously instead of simply and unilateral ensuring the thriving. Since the self-promotion and self-improving capability of major cities, financial aids to them should be regarded as advance funds for project launch. Take the tourism city Florence for example. Because of the proper protection facilitated by market execution initiated by government support, the thriving city released the burden of government by utilizing their traditional value through market implementation. As a benignant circulation, the patronage will be more beneficial with relatively less money by government.[立意是非常好的，不过例子好像没什么说服力]

In sum, the traditional treasures, especially in major cities, should be protected with proper method by government. Through thoroughly managing the relationships between city development, cultural legacy and government support can we achieve both cultural tradition preservation and thriving of major cities effectively and efficiently . [这个，中心是要达到一个目标，而不是两个同时达到吧？](502)

[great articles!要说挑点毛病，就是开头不太简洁，第四段不够清晰把. admire]

neverflyUID: 166610

Issue10


------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.


题目为什么把
A城市thriving，
B government支持
C传统文化
凑在一起 ？

我想是不是应该找到三者的关系 ：
C离不开A，A也离不开C；
B有必要对A负责和对C负责 ；
利用A和C的关系, B的支持才能更有效率


------摘要------
b1:论述文化传统主要存在于城市
b2:使城市繁荣和保护传统的关系―》政府需要给予财政上的支持
b3:利用城市繁荣和保护传承文化的关系－》政府的支持是辅助性的不是ensure

With the modernization and civilization[modernization好像比较绝对不如改成随着人类进步和社会城市化], a nation's cultural traditions are generated, accumulated and deposited primarily in major cities. As for its ever-lasting values, while [while好像不能当介词]dangerous current situation, government should find solutions, including financial supports as what the speaker suggest, for promoting and assisting for the thriving of the cities instead of fully support to make guarantee.

First of all, cultural traditions, considering of a nation's characters on people's immaterial behaviors, value systems, and material deposits, do exist primarily in major cities. On one hand, traditions are generated during the long history of many major cities. Religious churches in Colon, art museums in Florence and Forbidden City in Beijing are all the witnesses of cultural alteration one generation by another. On the other hand, as for people with traditional techniques and crafts, major city is the ideal destination of different culture. Its prospective attracts people from the whole nation, rural or other cities, rush towards major cities with their capabilities and customs to earn their lives or assimilate their culture. With different costumes, diversified traditional method of creating craft, distinctive folk songs[感觉用with something doing的形式更好], major city can not escape from becoming the culture accumulation center. As a result, major cities contribute much to culture preservation for the nation.

Then, as for its [its指谁？不如用the]significance of cultural generation and collection, it is necessary to support these cities. Whether these cities are thriving determines whether it can preserve its own culture and attract more. Take a city Luoyang for example, it used to be a major city of Tang dynasty. In 1960’s, for no money to support the city, its cultural heritages disappeared, valuable ancient buildings were deteriorated, and craftsmen shifted their professions. After the financial aid later to make up the defeat, the tradition extinction was under control then. So from the lessons can we draw the government support is indispensable.

As a result, it is the unavoidable obligation that financial support should be subsidized by government. But whether to ensure the major cities to thrive is under consideration.[这话有点歧义。要支持它，但是不能让它活？] In my perspective, because of the value of traditional legacy government should utilize the treasure handed down by our ancestors and allocate the resources from macro-view to promote the prosperity of the city and its cultural traditions mutually and simultaneously instead of simply and unilateral ensuring the thriving. Since the self-promotion and self-improving capability of major cities, financial aids to them should be regarded as advance funds for project launch. Take the tourism city Florence for example. Because of the proper protection facilitated by market execution initiated by government support, the thriving city released the burden of government by utilizing their traditional value through market implementation. As a benignant circulation, the patronage will be more beneficial with relatively less money by government.[立意是非常好的，不过例子好像没什么说服力]

In sum, the traditional treasures, especially in major cities, should be protected with proper method by government. Through thoroughly managing the relationships between city development, cultural legacy and government support can we achieve both cultural tradition preservation and thriving of major cities effectively and efficiently . [这个，中心是要达到一个目标，而不是两个同时达到吧？](502)

[great articles!要说挑点毛病，就是开头不太简洁，第四段不够清晰把. admire]

天晴了UID: 201592

嗯 好好研究一下 多谢猫猫 和 neverfly  嗯 一会去报仇！