Issue 10, 我的写法行吗？

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

The speaker claims that government must ensure that their major cities receive the finacial support in order to thrive for the reason that it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.Fundamentally, I agree with the speaker that government play an indispensable role in major cities' preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions. At the same time, major cities cannot bear the whole duty on preserving and generating nation's cultural traditions and the rural(countrysides, towns, suburbs,etc) also need government's financial support and should not be removed out of the government financial budget on cultral traditions' preservation and generation.

Passing down from one generation to another, a nation's cultural traditions are being preserved among nation citizens and being  enriched with times transition. Within this procession, government's role cannot be ruled out especially in major cities where conventions and cultral traditions change more rapidly than the rural. Nowadays this trendency is even move obvious due to the changes brought by the Industrial Revolution and recent so-called Information Revolution. Several cultural traditions disapeared in cities, especially in major cites, while still preserved in other areas such small towns and rurals and so forth. While people in major cities surf on the Internet, people in rurals still enjoy their family conversations after a day's work; grandpa tells the grandson about a long long story. In this case, government must finance its majors cities to preserve the cultural traditions, like restoring the antique buildings, improving facilities and holding traditional recreations that help people in major cities remember cultural traditions and lifes.

Many major cities are famous for their representations of a nation's cultural traditions, like Paris's romance, Athens's mysteries. Most of nation's cultural traditions, however, lie not in a few major cities but in rurals covering most areas.
While large cities have their similarities, each small town has its tales. You can google articles about a village in African , however, only when you live with them, can you taste the cultural traditions. A professor holds a thesis while a farmer's son leads a life. That's to say, the rurals also play a significant role as major cities, even more than major cities, in preserving and generating a nation's cultural.

Cultural traditions differentiate from rurals to cities, from plains to mountains, and even from one family to another.
Major cities need to thrive, but how about the others? More and more metropolises emerge; fewer rurals exist. The dispearance  of cultural traditions in major cities and rurals makes government hard to choose which is more primary to finance. On this point, I disagree with the speaker.

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

我写了几篇，我不太喜欢 first, second ,finally 的写法，于是按照自己方式写了这篇，大家提提意见。我4月12考。

mariaUID: 197971

其实没有谁规定非要用那些词，只是用起来显得文章比较有层次而已
我觉得楼主的首句都不是ts，或者体现得不明显
我觉得这样不大好

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

谢谢maria
我的思维喜欢到处跑，咋办呢