Iusse11全球性大学 狠狠地拍我吧！！

anfernee-kkUID: 194668

------题目------
All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems.

1。这大学的责任是教育
2。这大学研究出来的方法未必会被接受
3。这大学有其他问题～～～随便想了一些
4。单纯的国际合作更好
------正文------
There is a hallucination among a multitude of people that a global university could settle the persistent social problems. With the high-tech laboratory, predominate educational equipments and instruments, world famous faculties and excellent students aggregated from all nations, the problem could be resolved and failure means all but unthinkable.

Notwithstanding, the global university, possessing the best technology and human recourse, really has ability to solve the persistent social problems, which is unknown. In term to a university, its education goal is to impair the student with professional knowledge and provide qualified citizens to the society. This is indeed the case that university could endow advise to some social problem, nevertheless, it is not the obligation and responsibility for the university to engage in resolve the social problem rather than to research it, such obligation and responsibility which should belong to the government.

Moreover, even useful to the social problems as the method of the university is, it is the government which determines whether the method would be put into practice. The process of solving the world's most persistent social problems of the university can only be seemed as a reference, which could not force the government to follow it. The Tokyo Protocol, which confines the developing and developed country to emit carbide dioxide to atmosphere, seems to be a useful and helpful method to solve to greenhouse effect. However, American president George Bush rejected it, alleging that such protocol will impact the economy of the United States. That is sufficient to illustrate to people that a method thought to be remarkably effective to world's social problem would not be accept by some countries, let along the advise from the global university.

Furthermore, how to function such global university is difficult to determine. Totally different from flipping a switch, how to classify the world's persistent social problems should be taken into account. It will not be as sample as people defining mathematics, physics, chemistry, politics and other subject. Should the rampant AIDS belong to the society course or the physic course? That is difficult to get the answer. And what is more, the global university should consider the students' idea. Would they like to enroll a university in which they only engage in kinds of social problem? As far as I am concerned, people who access such university would be the professor and experts rather than the students.

It is a sad truth that the global university could only exist in people idealist world. To solve the world's most persistent social problems, no more effective and efficient mean can compare with the cooperation among all the nations themselves. In order to smooth the problem, it is necessary for the government to legislate the policy together. It is the truth universally acknowledged that it needs all the countries’ cooperation to resolve the terrorism. So are the poverty and the starvation.

To a global university, which reverse the educational objective, whose advise would not be accept absolutely, which could not set the categories of knowledge, desperately, I could not penetrate any advantage of it compare with the national cooperation.

boyjimUID: 125249

sit~

thminUID: 192642

巧啊,昨天刚刚写过,先占个座,批完了再发上来.呵呵

boyjimUID: 125249

------题目------
All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems.

1。这大学的责任是教育 [every u's obligation is to educate]
2。这大学研究出来的方法未必会被接受
3。这大学有其他问题～～～随便想了一些
4。单纯的国际合作更好
[from my point of view, the three points above is all to illustrate if there were a university,the problem would be blabla~~, see more article and try to make your point more multidimensional consideration]
------正文------
There is a hallucination among a multitude of people that a global university could settle the persistent social problems [you can make it longer] . With the high-tech laboratory, predominate educational equipments and instruments, world famous faculties and excellent students aggregated from all nations, the problem could be resolved and failure [?i dont understand] means all but unthinkable. [the main focus is what is your point, you say that it is illusion, but what is your idea?the second sentence is meaningless for it just indicate the extinsic condition of one university, but fail to reply the main point of the statement]

Notwithstanding, the global university, possessing the best technology and human [human resourse人力资源？you wanna say best teacher or professor? or other?] recourse, really has ability to solve the persistent social problems, which is unknown [notwithstanding,the global university really...you should add whether] . In term to a university, its education goal is to impair [why?] the student with professional knowledge and provide qualified citizens to the society. This is indeed the case that university could endow advise to some social problem, nevertheless, it is not the obligation and responsibility for the university to engage in resolve [+ing] the social problem rather than to research it, such obligation and responsibility which should belong to the government. [your expression is somehow fail your idea, actually i think you should make you mind more clear,first, the topic sentence is a little vague, second,why you use "impair", and you didnt tell us why.you should just focus the main point now, and try to avoid any sentence which far from prove your idea]

Moreover, even useful to the social problems as the method of the university is [wow~i dont understand your topic sentence, "even useful...",your expression fail your point] , it is the government which [that] determines whether the method would be put into practice. The process of solving the world's most persistent social problems of the university can only be seemed as a reference, which could not force the government to follow it. The Tokyo Protocol, which confines the developing and developed country to emit carbide dioxide to atmosphere, seems to be a useful and helpful method to solve to greenhouse effect. However, American president George Bush rejected it, alleging that such protocol will impact the economy of the United States [well, you should see more about excuse, he said American people will find another more effective way to sovle the problem] . That is sufficient to illustrate to people that a method thought to be remarkably effective to world's social problem would not be accept by some countries, let along the advise from the global university. [i know what you want to express, but "a method" is from whom? why do you use "let alone" for it is possible that the "a method" is also figured out by an university]

Furthermore, how to function such global university is difficult to determine [determine, this word u use chiglish~] . Totally different from flipping a switch, how to classify the world's persistent social problems should be taken into account [i dont understand again~yep, the "totally...",what do u wanna express?] . It will not be as sample as people defining mathematics, physics, chemistry, politics and other subject. Should the rampant AIDS belong to [change another word~in chinese it is 属于~but in english you should say 归类到] the society course or the physic course? That is difficult to get the answer. And what is more, the global university should consider the students' idea [跑题~] . Would they like to enroll a university in which they only engage in kinds of social problem? As far as I am concerned, people who access such university would be the professor and experts rather than the students.

It is a sad truth that the global university could only exist in people idealist world. To solve the world's most persistent social problems, no more effective and efficient mean can compare with the cooperation among all the nations themselves. In order to smooth the problem, it is necessary for the government to legislate the policy together [together what?] . It is the truth [try to avoid twice truth in one paragraph] universally acknowledged that it needs all the countries’ cooperation to resolve the terrorism. [finish your sentence with "poverty and starvation" and the later sentence can be deleted] So are the poverty and the starvation.

To [why do u use To] a global university, which reverse the educational objective, whose advise would not be accept absolutely, which could not set the categories of knowledge [if one kind of konwledge is fail to categoried, than the university should not teach it? i dont think so] , desperately, I could not penetrate any advantage of it compare [d] with the national cooperation.
[well, ur language is attempting to be diversity, but your point is not convincing and try to use these sentence structure to be more represent your opinion in that i dont understand your point sometimes,~ work hard! your last sentence is prepared by yourself and it is excellent, but three "which or whose" should be increasingly profound.]

thminUID: 192642

There is a hallucination among a multitude of people that a global university could settle the persistent social problems. With the high-tech laboratory复数, predominatepredominated educational equipments and instruments, world famous faculties and excellent students aggregatedaggregating from all nations, the problem could be resolvedsolved and failure means all but unthinkable汗…这后半句没看懂的说.

Notwithstanding上来就转折?, the global university, possessing the best technology and human recourse, really has ability to solve the persistent social problems, which is unknown这是什么意思啊. In term to a university不明白, its education goal is to impairimpair,削弱? the students with professional knowledge and provide qualified citizens to the society. This is indeed the case that university could endow advise to some social problems, nevertheless, it is not the obligation and responsibility for the university to engage in resolve the social problem rather than to research it, such obligation and responsibility which should belong to the government.这个句子也有很多语病;另外,我还是不太清楚你这段说的什么意思啊

Moreover, even useful to the social problems as the method of the university is, it is the government which determines whether the method would be put into practice. The process of solving the world's most persistent social problems of the university can only be seemed as a reference这句话从逻辑上说不通,process是不能被视为reference的,应该是conclusion或者suggestion才能成为参考;而且我认为参考应该表达为alternative/optional solutions, which could not force the government to follow it. The Tokyo Protocol, which confines the developing and developed country to emit carbide dioxide to atmosphere confine…to的用法不太对, seems to be a useful and helpful method to solve to greenhouse effect to solve the environmental problems/pressures result from greenhouse effect. However, American president George Bush rejected it, alleging that such protocol will impact the economy of the United States. 例子不太好,没有和全球性大学联系在一起That is sufficient to illustrate to people that a method thought to be remarkably effective to world's social problem would not be accept by some countries, let along the advise from the global university.

Furthermore, how to function such global university is difficult to determine.看完这段再看TS感觉你的TS太泛,how to function是一个很复杂的问题,而下面的论述里面你只涉及到了如何把社会问题归类这一点上.你可以修改一下TS,或者在下面的论述里面再加些别的内容 Totally different from flipping a switchflip a switch是什么意思呀,请楼主赐教, how to classify the world's persistent social problems should be taken into account. It will not be as samplesimple as people defining mathematics, physics, chemistry, politics and other subject. Should the rampant AIDS belong to the society course or the physic course? That is difficult to get the answer. And what is more有了what is more就不要用and了, the global university should consider the students' idea. Would they like to enroll a university in which they only engage in kinds of social problem? As far as I am concerned, people who access such university would be the professor and experts rather than the students.最后一句还是没有看明白啊

It is a sad truth that the global university could only exists in people idealistideal world. To solve the world's most persistent social problems, no more effective and efficient mean作名词当”方式”讲时,应该用means can comparerival/compete with the cooperation among all the nations themselves. In order to smooth the problem, it is necessary for the government to legislate the policy together. It is the truth universally acknowledged that别扭,而且和本段开头一个句式 itit指代不明 needs all the countries’ cooperation to resolve the terrorism. So are the poverty and the starvation.

To a global university, which reverse the educational objective, whose advise would not be accept absolutely, which could not set the categories of knowledge汗啊,这么多定语从句, desperately, I could not penetrate any advantage of it compare with the national cooperation这段话说得好绝对啊.


楼主在用词和表达上还不够清楚准确,别的意见我也提不出来什么了.